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"It's always time to talk about free publicity!"

Awards >
I tossed my Grammy off a balcony. Sorry.

Frequently Asked Questions>
Anyone have a non-DVD-related question?

Site History >
If you don't study it, you'll be condemned to visit the same section over and over again.

Guestbook Archive >
Posts that fell off the back end when FreeGuestbooks was bought out.
And just for fun (read: to fill another column), a complete list of those front page disclaimer taglines:

  • "El Sid" is indeed the best episode ever.
  • After R317 alluded to the above tagline on the board:
    Aww, now everyone's going to look here!
  • May contain descriptions of peanuts.
  • Actual year may vary. Consult calendar for current year.
  • May explode if dynamited.
  • Do not taunt Happy Fun Timer.
  • Best viewed with eyes.
  • Vlada is paid for his services and does not love any of you.
  • Week of the Buffy finale:
    Goodbye, Iowa. I mean, Sunnydale.
  • Week of the Enterprise finale:
    All Mediocre Things...
  • Do not ingest nasally.
  • Please excuse the dust.
  • Hey, what's that button d
  • Keep away from children. They're dangerous as hell.
  • On the Fourth of July:
    Aim fireworks away from site.
  • Not for resale without index page.
  • Coded entirely by hand. On paper.
  • "A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend." - Willow Rosenberg
  • Made with Mac OS 6.0.7 through 9.2.2.
  • Do not read site if seal on cap is broken.
  • Accompanying a slew of Sliders DVD ads:
    Oh, and did I mention that the DVDs are out?
  • On Hallowe'en:
  • If you can read this, you scrubbed too hard.
  • Do not use site in place of an actual mental hospital.
  • During a fairly hideous attempt at a Valentine's Day redesign:
    Trust me, I hate this colour scheme as much as you do.
  • I will not use this space to imitate Bart Simpson.
  • When is a door not a door?
    When a cyberiad opens it.
    HA HA HA HA! I may live!
  • Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for image loading.
  • Brought to you by insomnia.
  • This sentence is about the only thing on the page that didn't just change. Oh, wait...
  • I can't believe http://welcome.to/gate_haven/ still works!
  • You ain't seen nothin' yet.
  • All rooms reserved.
  • On the tenth anniversary of Sliders:
    Here's to another ten!
  • I have discovered a remarkable proof, which this disclaimer is too narrow to contain!
  • Keep arms inside web browser.
  • Liking to walk in no way guarantees your enjoyment of square dancing.
  • Actually, none of the site was intentional. It just sorta happened one day.
  • Yibk rwkklcw olk xwlttj evy ovxyi qwuvqbec.
  • This is KLLY'S tagline, her mighty, mighty tagline!
  • (You heard me, Jim. It's not for you. Go back to your box.)
  • Upon reaching 100,000 hits:
    Six digits? Quickly, Sophie, hide your hit counter!
  • Gate Haven is a Mark Goodson television production!
  • Printed on 100% recycled pixels.

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