(disco-sounding intro jingle)

What would Maggie Beckett do
if she were here right now?
I'm sure she'd screw a guy or two,
that's what Maggie Beckett'd do!

When Maggie Beckett tried to save
her Earth from blowing up
She also tried to suck off Quinn
while wearing a d-cup!

When Maggie was after Rickman
she always brought her gun,
which may just be related to
her taste for phallic fun!

Oooooohhhh...

What would Maggie Beckett do
if she were here today?
She'd probably kick an ass or two,
that's what Maggie Beckett'd do!

(slowing)

Iiiii want to seeee a season siiiix...
assuming Maggie won't bond with more blonde chiiicks...

Although they always die, which at least is somewhat fun.

(faster)

Of course Quinn tried to nail them too,
cause that's what Maggie Beckett'd do!

Sooooo,

What Would Maggie Beckett do
if she were here right now?
She'd probably leave her husband who
she forgot she's married to!

(...musical interlude...)

When Maggie Beckett joined the team
around season three's end,
she did her best to get Wade killed
by zombies, snakes - or Quinn!

And when Maggie Beckett lost her Quinn,
she made it with Paxton!
'cause Maggie Beckett doesn't feel grief
for a-nyy-boood-yyyyyy...

(big finish)

Sooooo...

Let's see her meet Quinn's mother
and slip and call her "mom",
and then we'll cry for Remmy, too,
'cause that's what Maggie Beckett'd do...

And then we'll cry for Remmy, too,
'cause that's what Maggie Beeeeckeett'd doooooooooooo...

'Cause that's what Maggie Beckett'd do!

- FogBoy