Date: 12/12/99
From: BritSlider

Picture the scene; it's Christmas Eve and Remmy & the Beckett tramp are sliding between Seasons 4 and 5, after Quinn and Colin were lost on 'Creative Difference World'. Then Remmy remembers an old song called 'Fairytale Of New York' by Kirsty MacColl and The Pogues, so he changes the words of it to fit his own situation. I think that song would go something like this:

It was Christmas Eve, in the vortex,
Poor Quinn and Colin, they won't see another one.
And so I sing this song, dedicated for those two,
I wonder who they'll get, to replace you.

Stuck with the tarty one, I wish I had a gun,
I've got a feeling, this Season's the last one.
So happy Christmas, I wish I could get home,
But not with you Maggie, I'll go on my own.

You've got breasts like balloons, and you can't sing in tune,
Your IQ is less than that of a baboon,
When I first saw you there on that alternate earth,
I knew I should have given you a wide berth.

You're cheap and you're easy,
I think you're too sleazy,
I don't know how men could prefer you to Wade.
You had blokes on all worlds,
Legs and meekness unfurled,
It seems all you're trying to do is get laid.

Chorus
And the fans of Quinn, The Prof and Wade
Were singing "Dump the bitch,
And get a real actress as your sidekick".

I miss my old friends,
Will this slide never end,
If only Q-Ball was here with me right now.
Instead I've got Maggie,
All hope now is flagging,
I just can't believe that she is such a cow.

Chorus
And the fans of Quinn, The Prof and Wade
Were singing "Dump the tart,
And get a real actress, that would be a start".

One day I'll find Earth Prime, let Maggie die this time,
I really do not care, if she can't breathe there.
I'll start my life again, never forget my friends,
I'll get to Candlestick, and sing the National Anthem.

Chorus
And the fans of Quinn, The Prof and Wade
Were singing "Dump the slut,
And find an actress who knows how to keep her legs shut".

End

BTW - I don't have a PC at home, so I came into work on a Saturday to post this - how sad is that??????

Cheers m'dears
BritSlider