501 | Acts of the Apostles

Jerry wanted to make sure his executorial debut was of biblical proportions, hence the title.

"Besides, all of our greatest episodes have religious names," explained Executive Consultant David Peckinpah. "Exodus, Revelations, Breeder...why take any chances?"

Even though Season 4 didn't end on a cliffhanger, O'Connell felt compelled to create one, saying that the fans have come to expect the first episode of each season to have some nonsensical plot device. So when the episode opens, Maggie is being played by actress Patricia Arquette. However it's clear she's still Maggie by the number of times she grabs herself. The Sliders encounter the nefarious Dr. Geiger Counter, a mutated, but intelligent man-dolphin who lives in a giant circular aquarium. Counter has been using wormholes to merge people together to create new people. He simply finds it amusing.

While Quinn is seemingly just as content with a blond Maggie, Rembrandt convinces him brunettes are better in the sack. Bowing to the master on this issue, Quinn then challenges Counter to a duel of wits to return Maggie back the way she was. Counter squeaks his approval and a motorized shelf unveils the game of choice - Showdown Yahtzee! In a stunning display of intelligence, Quinn ends the game and defeats Counter by merely smashing the aquarium wall. As Counter flops around on the floor, Quinn pushes a few buttons and moves a lever or two to return Maggie to her usual self. All is good again and the four slide out. But in the closing seconds, the camera pans to Counter. A transporter beam appears and the dolphin vanishes. This is not the last we'll see of Counter....

Overall the episode got decent reviews, buoyed largely by the fact that O'Connell seems to have departed from the valium school of acting he employed in Season Four.

502 | Strangers and Kromaggs

While O'Connell had taken over full control of storyboards, he decided to leave the titles to his pal and mentor Peckinpah. After all, he needed something to justify his ridiculous salary and O'Connell felt no one else could come up with such great names as "Data World," which Peckinpah had originally believed to be a crossover with the far more popular Star Trek series.

"I saw Quinn and Maggie in a Western setting gun slinging it out with these bad guys, but it turned out they were all the same bad guy due to some horrible cloning accident..." said Peckinpah.

Anyway, back to the story at hand. When the Sliders land, they find the timer has stopped working again. After trying everything they can think of, including flipping the batteries, Quinn declares that they are trapped in Innerspace. This led to a great deal of confusion on the set as the Innerspace ride is at Disneyland and not Universal.

Somehow, a planet, its moon, six weather satellites and a Taco Bell have been placed between dimensions in a purgatory of sorts. The Sliders immediately find themselves embroiled in a nasty war of attrition between humans and Kromaggs. Naturally, they're ecstatic.

"It's been so long since we've visited a war torn planet," proclaimed Captain Beckett as she hurled a grenade into an enemy trench. "I was afraid I was going to get rusty."

"DIE! KRO-MAGGOTS! DIE!" screamed Rembrandt, running headlong into the enemy frontline.

It turns out the humans here are from Quinn's homeworld and are guarding something extra super-duper secret in a bunker. It's so secret even they don't know what it is. And despite the fact that they've been guarding it for ten years, the soldiers show no interest in finding out what it is, even if it could and likely would help them defeat the Kromagg threat.

After another twenty-minute battle where Quinn manages to lose his shirt, the two sides declare a temporary truce. Quinn, still shirtless and stained with blood, gives a speech about winnable wars and how they're a lie they can't afford to believe any more. The four then decide to open the bunker themselves. The human soldiers have no objections and don't even follow them. In the bunker, they discover a crate marked "Fragile." Inside they find the ultimate horror - Cocktail Sauce.

"Dear God!" exclaimed Rembrandt.

"If the Kromaggs got their hands on this, there would be no stopping their demand for human eyes. They're finger-lickin' good!" said Quinn. "We have to destroy this place and everyone on it to preserve the secret!"

When asked how they were going to slide, Quinn reassured the group that he was confident the vortex would appear at the last second. Quinn then pressed a big red button marked "SELF-DESTRUCT."

As predicted, the vortex opened and the group slid out before stock footage of Maggie's world exploding from "Exodus" rolled.

503 | Applied Psychics

After she encounters a poor, white trash, single mom double of herself, Maggie is convinced sliding has deprived her of the good life. She befriends her double and they pull the infamous Peter Brady switch for the duration of the slide. While Quinn and Rembrandt are concerned about Maggie's new obsession with the Jenny Jones show, they've got other problems to deal with. Colin has fallen under the spell of Madame Chloe and her tarot cards. Convinced he's going to die before the next slide because of the fateful appearance of the two of clubs, Colin decides to atone for his previous lack of faith by converting this world to the great spiritual journey that awaits.

Colin concocts a magic grape drink that instantly makes all those that imbibe believers. Quinn mistakenly drinks the potion, but is somehow unaffected. He explains that he purged himself of his soul sometime around the Season 4 episode of "Mother and Child." As Rembrandt and Quinn search for an antidote, they leave Colin alone to begin converting the rest of Los Angeles.

In the dramatic showdown, Quinn tries to convince Colin to come closer to him so he can apply the antidote. Colin, being the idiot he is, complies. It turns out the antidote is just a swift smack upside the head. Colin then makes an impassioned speech to his followers to believe in themselves and not what they see on TV. The three barely escape the building with their lives as the congregation turns against him for such blasphemy.

Just before they slide, the real Maggie shows up in overalls and smoking a pack of Newports. Rembrandt remarks that it doesn't seem right to leave this world after screwing it up royally.

Quinn: "Can't save every world."

Rembrandt: "But it didn't need saving..."

Quinn: "I SAID, can't save every world. Now, go, go, go!"

504 | Joe's Dimension
Special Guest Appearance by Mr. T

The Sliders encounter a world where the Chandler Hotel is filled with singing and dancing cockroaches. While initially hostile to the campy critters, the Sliders eventually team up with them to help save a local youth center from evil corporate people who want to build a Planet Hollywood on their land. This evil cabal is led by none other than, you guessed it... Frank Stallone. It seems on this Earth, Frank became the big action hero while brother Sylvester went on to eke out a modest living penning "Forrest Gump," "Schindler's List" and the "English Patient." Sure they did well at the box office, but they were nothing compared to "Over the Top."

Rembrandt throws together a benefit concert that climaxes in a stunning musical production of "Cry Like a Roach." Unfortunately, most of the paid audience ran out screaming after the first few minutes and all demanded refunds. Short on cash, it appears the youth center is all but doomed. As the wrecking ball is about to be swung, a converted 1982 GMC appears smashing through the crane and crumbling it to bits. Emerging from the rubble is Mr. T.

Mr. T, joined by Quinn and Colin, go on a butt-kicking rampage of suits and stuffshirts. While Mt. T pitied Frank Stallone, it didn't save him from an ass-whuppin'. Stallone eventually relents and decides to build his Planet Hollywood on top of a retirement home. There are no objections and they all celebrate.

Best line goes to Colin: "Wow! Mr. T just threw Stallone helluva-far!"

505 | Please Press One of the Buttons

This dimension is entirely under the sway of the megalomaniacal corporation, EnComPass. EnComPass is an amalgamation of an insurance company, bank, and cable company. In effect, it is the most evil entity ever known to mankind. Their motto - "If it exists, it's EnComPass." The Sliders immediately run afoul of the monopoly when they fail to provide proof of life insurance. Federal law requires all people to have life insurance, or be deemed unfit to live.

Not much plot in this episode, but give them credit for the little details. On a television set we see a commercial for the Gambler's Club Card. Sponsored by EnComPass's Financial Adventures holding company, the card has special "jackpot minutes" where all purchases are free. Unfortunately, there are twice as many "snake eyes hours" where all expenditures are doubled.

Many crew members called this the creepiest episode they've ever done.

The Sliders eventually escape when Quinn decks all five guards and they run for it.

Of note was the return of Roger Daltrey as Barney Dodd, the CEO of EnComPass. Peckinpah immediately declared that the role should be a recurring one, and he knew just the actor to take Daltrey's place after this episode. Fortunately, O'Connell killed the idea. Any additional characters could potentially take away the focus from him.

506 | The President's Affair

Attempting to capitalize on Law & Order's "ripped from the headlines" success, the writers decided to take on the biggest story of 1998 - namely President Clinton's affair with a White House intern.

This episode pretty much goes off as it did in reality, but Monica is replaced by Maggie. No, not Maggie's double, but Maggie herself. That will teach the President to ever vacation at Universal Studios.

In the end, Quinn chases the President down and tackles him to the ground. As he pleads for mercy, Quinn punches him in the face. Asked to explain the unnecessary finale, O'Connell replied that he had to stay true to the character.

507 | Three Deaths, but a Bonus Life at 50,000 Points

Never tiring of the angle, Quinn and company once again land on a world entirely grossed by virtual reality. Explained O'Connell, "The show's concept can sometimes be limiting. But with VR, you can do anything you want. The possibilities are damn near infinite."

The original title suggested by Peckinpah was "Virtual Slide Again", but he didn't want it confused with his fourth season masterpiece. Hence the more literal title.

On this world, humans are so obsessed with video games that they sometimes play until three in the morning without realizing it. Seeing as they don't slide until 3:15 a.m., the group decides this might be a good way to pass the time. Colin mentions he was the Frogger champion back at El Segundo. The other three realize he can't be referring to a video game and decide to just let it alone.

Maggie opts for a multi-player "Doom" style game, Quinn and Rembrandt head for Super Mario World while Colin, still new to the medium, becomes engrossed in VR Pong. Throughout the episode there are cutaways to Colin furiously running back and forth trying to swat the pong ball back at this giant white paddle.

While Quinn and Rembrandt seem to be getting along well, Maggie is finding that it really, really hurts each time she gets blown to bits. Meanwhile, Quinn and Rembrandt learn from a Toadstool that if you die enough times in a video game, you might have to put in another quarter. All they have left is fifteen cents! So the two, still in red and green jumpsuits, barge into Maggie's game to come to her rescue. Quinn, still feeling the effects of the Fire Flower, is hurling balls of flames. Rembrandt, with his crazy legs ability, is jumping on top of demons and ghouls squashing them into harmless goombas. They kill the bad guys, save the princess, and come back to reality just before the slide. They're all rested and refreshed, except Colin, who was beaten 326-14 by the VR Pong game and is really, really tired.

508 | The Return of Maggie Monroe

This was supposed to be an episode exploring the relationship between Maggie and her father, but O'Connell had other ideas.

"They wanted Maggie to be a returning astronaut. Astronaut? Where the hell did they get that idea? Our Maggie doesn't have any air force training - Season 3's Maggie did. Why else do you think we had her screaming like a girl last season when she was hanging by the edge of that window washer platform?"

"Since we never bring up the old Maggie, any reference to her would be a serious break in the show's continuity. If I did that, the fans would scream bloody murder at me. Besides, who wants to see an episode about Maggie? That would detract from the real star of the show - me!"

So Maggie's astronaut angle was scrapped and rewritten as a star actress who was thought to be dead. For some reason never fully explained, the government hushed up her disappearance and her subsequent reappearance sets the entire world abuzz. But the focus of this show is not on Maggie but on her double's husband - astronaut and star football player Quinn Mallory.

Half of the show is eaten up on the gridiron as an emotional double of Quinn must hold himself together to lead his team to the Superbowl. When he falls from what looks like a terrible knee injury, our Quinn takes the field in his place thus confronting his own high school demons. In a brilliant fake reversal that only a genius like Quinn could have devised, the star runs in the winning touchdown and then kicks the extra point himself. The field is besieged by rabid fans before Quinn leaps out....I mean slides out.

509 | Dirt

Tired of the Universal Studio backlot, Sci-Fi finally gives the show permission to do an "off site." Unfortunately, the only place that would let them film for free was a big empty construction pit.

In "Dirt", the Sliders believe they have landed in the far future despite that having never happened before nor any context clues to suggest it. They decide to do an excavation of the area to try and find out more about this world, even though they don't really need to as they're sliding in a few hours. While Rembrandt and Quinn look for shovels, Colin inadvertently drops the timer and a gust of wind covers it up in dirt.

They immediately find it again, but instead of recognizing it as their own timer, they believe it to be a timer from the past. They are amazed that it still functions and is counting down. Quinn surmises they must have slid 29.69999 years into the future and the second opportunity for their past selves is now coming due. They reminisce about past adventures.

Yes folks, "Dirt" is a clip show.

Peckinpah gives us more insight into this show by describing to us how he came up with the title:

"They say when you look into your past, it's called digging in the dirt. Personally, I never look into the past. Always to the future with me. There's no point in looking back or even remembering what you did before."

Peckinpah, quite possibly lost in thought, paused for a few moments before adding: "That and there's a lot of dirt on this set."

One of the most disturbing scenes involves Maggie unearthing a skull. Quinn immediately declares it to be the head of Arturo and does a take off on the Yorick scene from "Hamlet." O'Connell thought JRD would appreciate the reference to Shakespeare with him being British and all.

510 | Recall

At this time, O'Connell was offered a role in the motion picture, "Body Shots." Despite being only halfway through the season, he felt this was an opportunity he couldn't pass up.

"I mean, c'mon, it's got Amanda Peet in it! Rrrowrrr!" said O'Connell.

So he decided to put on a show that would make sure no one forgot who the star was during his two-week absence.

In the opening teaser, Quinn and Colin are suddenly sucked through a vortex that seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Rembrandt remarks, "I wonder where they went." That would be his only line of the episode. The rest of the story takes place in another dimension filled with Quinns - and Colin. The alt-Quinn of this dimension was a social outcast who was now seeking revenge against humanity. He originally tried to clone an army of himself, but eventually had to settle for sliding all of his doubles to his home. The Quinns, sensitive to the hurt their double must be feeling, agree to help him with his little uprising.

Jerry O'Connell gives a tour de force performance playing no fewer than 38 of the characters himself. Scenes that originally included extraneous characters like Amanda Mallory and TV Reporters were written out so as to give more screen time to the marauding Quinns.

Colin does get in a few lines here and there such a "Where are we?", "What's going on?" and "You mess with me, you mess with my whole damn family!"

This episode was originally conceived as being the first clue that Colin may not be who he appears to be. After all, why would he show up if only Quinns were being recalled? Could it be that he's really a Kromagg clone of Quinn?

"A clone? Damn, that's a pretty good idea!" exclaimed Executive Consultant, now Producer again, David Peckinpah. "If only I hadn't screwed up that line of logic with "Lipschitz Live"..."

A delicious grin then came over Peckinpah's face. "Or did I...."

511 | Colin's Secret Identity

Back in the saddle, Peckinpah decided to do what he did best - homages.

The show opens with just Colin, Rembrandt and Maggie emerging from the vortex. It's explained that Quinn was 'discovered' on the last world and was asked to star in a movie. Naturally, he accepted. Rembrandt explains that they'll pick him up after the slide as the timer has that ability. Colin comments that if they have that ability, why are they always worried about one or two people missing the slide? Couldn't they always go back for them? Before that line of reasoning can sink in, Colin is suddenly hit by a burst of radiation and collapses. An alternate set of opening credits roll:

"You'll never guess My Secret Identity..."

Colin's Secret Identity

Starring Charlie O'Connell, Cleavant Derricks, Kari Wuhrer and Hank Azaria

You can never know what day...you'll be hit by a gamma ray...

Sometimes it seems like more than you can stand.

But it's all in a day's work, for Amish Man!"

Peckinpah originally wanted to cast John Rhys-Davies as Dr. Jeffcoate, as he seemed to remember him playing a similar role a few years back. JRD declined, declaring that he'd sooner appear in "Brittanic" than ever work with that imbecile again. Fortunately Hank Azaria agreed to take the role so long as they changed the character to Professor Frink.

In this whimsical episode, Colin, who now has the ability to float, but not quite fly, rescues kittens from trees, collects a lost girl's balloon, and nearly gets sucked into the engine of a DC-10. After the slide, Colin no longer has his mysterious powers. He surmises that gamma radiation bombardment must not carry over from dimension to dimension.

Best line: "Aaaaa! The burning and the stinging and the...peeling flesh, glavin!"

512 | Easy Slider

Long on Peckinpah's "to-do" list, "Easy Slider" remains Peckinpah's favorite episode. With that spotlight hog O'Connell still off filming, Peck was free to focus the entire episode on one theme - leather, and the less Maggie was wearing, the better.

There's ostensibly a plot as Rembrandt is seduced by Fresh Samantha, the leader of an all-girl biker gang on a world where orange juice costs $3.20 a pint. Tired of not getting any lines or even subplots, Rembrandt feels it's time to cut his losses and settle in with Fresh and her harem. However without Quinn around to blithely cut him loose, the other two try to save Remmy from the temptress's clutches.

Still stuck on last episode's superhero premise, Peckinpah has Maggie turned into LeatherBabe and Colin is her sidekick, VelourBoy. Together they chase down Fresh and her barely clothed entourage through pools, fashion shoots, and mud pits.

While Wuhrer puts in a convincing performance, it was clear Charlie was off his game without his brother.

"He was just standing around wide eyed. He couldn't focus on anything. I can't remember how many times we had to reshoot the tapioca pudding scene because Charlie kept missing his cue," said Peckinpah.

In the end Rembrandt learns that trying to have a monogamous relationship with Fresh while surrounded by twenty two other beautiful women is too much for any man - that and Maggie tied a leather whip around his neck and dragged him through the vortex. Charlie, still distracted, actually completely missed the vortex and dove into a brick wall. Fortunately, they were able to conceal that with some careful editing.

"We edited out the wall," explained Peckinpah. "It's a strange effect to see the guy dive toward the vortex and in mid-air, just crumple like a pile of bricks."

513 | The Contest

For Seinfeld, "The Contest" was one of the most notorious and beloved episodes in its long and storied run. For Sliders, they settled for notoriety.

On a sexually naïve world still clinging to the values of the 1950s, Quinn and Rembrandt compete to see who could score more before the next slide - and Maggie doesn't count. Meanwhile Colin becomes intrigued with the inner workings of a Chinese finger trap. He spends most of the episode with his hands tied.

With the score tied at four apiece, Maggie demands in on the action. The guys are hesitant, because they both know just how much of a whore Maggie can be. They finally let her in, but to win, she has to finish with ten times as many scores as the nearest competitor. "Done and done" says Maggie, clapping her hands.

Colin, still wandering around with his fingers tied together, meets Amy, a sweet blond girl that reminds him of the girls back home. In a touching moment, Amy unties Colin's Chinese finger trap only to then get one end stuck on her finger. This enrages Quinn, who still trails Remmy by one and needs Amy to even the score. He can't possibly do that with Colin attached...or can he?

Not many people have actually seen Act 4 of this episode and O'Connell refused to allow us to print any spoilers.

"If they want to see Act 4, they'll have to order it like everybody else. $29.95 on Pay-Per-View."

514 | The See-er

While filming SL-513, O'Connell noticed that the courthouse being used is the same one in the smash movie "Back to the Future." He was immediately inspired to walk across the lot and go on the ride. 'It was really awesome,' he thought. 'I bet Charlie would love this ride!' While Charlie got motion sickness from it, Jerry was undeterred.

"Listen up people! Today we're moving production to the other end of the park!"

If "The See-er" seems familiar to you, it's probably because you've already experienced it on vacation. On a world obsessed with feats of strength, the Sliders land in a theme park. They are immediately challenged by its owner, the See-er, to successfully complete each ride without vomiting. Quinn readily agrees.

The remainder of the episode is a tour of the many attractions Universal has to offer. Sure there are some tense moments during King Kong and the camera work at Earthquake was outstanding. Charlie thought the special effects department really went all out.

"I mean, usually we don't even get to see any cool stuff while we're filming. It's all done on the magic blue screen. But for this episode, I felt real. When I was on that scooter chasing down Elroy, I felt like Yogi Bear was really next to me."

There were some technical difficulties due to the screaming fans that followed Jerry from ride to ride, but O'Connell made sure that every last one of them made the final cut.

"I wanted to show that these people were really behind me, I mean Quinn. Besides, I don't think we've ever had a Sliders episodes with that many extras."

The Sliders survive the test and the See-er gives them a free T-shirt and discount coupons for after dark admittance.

515 | I Am In A Storm

Seeing as Sci-Fi execs didn't pick up on the fact that the last episode was filmed entirely in the amusement park, O'Connell said "screw the backlot. If I'm going to have waste all my time at Universal, I might as well be going on the rides."

"I Am In A Storm" is filmed entirely on the set of the Twister attraction. Considering one half of the location is intended for the audience, the camera crew could only rotate perspective by using extreme close-ups. Most of the episode is spent with Quinn striking thoughtful poses while the rest are on Maggie in various suggestive positions on the tractor.

In terms of storyline, we finally see the return of that wild and crazy Man-Dolphin, Dr. Geiger Counter. Just exactly how he beamed out of "Acts of the Apostles" is glossed over. He's also no longer part dolphin, but he still needs to be in water. So his new "lair" is a kiddie pool by the prop of the cow. Counter, enraged by his inability to journey beyond the kiddie pool, decides that he will flood the entire earth. Fortunately he has constructed a lab by his pool (really just a machine with a lot of blinking LEDs) and he unleashes his awesome new control of the weather. With that, the attraction begins.

Unfortunately, the show didn't quite fill a full hour, so they spliced in the Tidal Wave scene from "Summer of Love", the opening scene from "Gillian of the Spirits", and about half of "Electric Twister Acid Test." O'Connell was confident it would work as he can't remember anyone who gave a damn about the piece of shit episode from Season Three.

"I mean, please. Fucking Corey Feldman was on the show! No one has cared about him since "Goonies." I don't even think Fox used it in re-runs it was so bad. However with the increased presence of Quinn in my version, I think we have one of the more popular episodes of the series."

Surprisingly, the episode did poll well among fans that were just happy to see Wade and the Professor again, even if the scenes made absolutely no sense.

Oh...in the end the ride breaks down, thus foiling Dr. Counter's evil scheme. Quinn jumps in the pool and beats him silly. Because he got a little wet, it also gives Quinn an excuse to remove his shirt even though he should already be thoroughly doused from the preceding storm. I mean, Maggie is wet. Really wet.

516 | A Pirate's Life For Me!

The Coast Guard has gone bad and the rest of the more powerful divisions of the United States Armed Forces are powerless to stop them. Quinn is beyond stunned when they land in the Pacific Ocean.

"I thought the 400 mile radius only worked up and down!"

Colin attempts to explain the math to him, but Quinn smacks him upside the head. They are rescued by Captain McAllister, a salty old captain if one ever sailed the ocean blue. He gives them the option of joining his crew or seeing Davy Jones' locker up close and personal. Colin is confused and Maggie thinks the Captain has made a pass at her. Rough waters give the four a sudden momentum shift and they escape into a lower deck.

There they meet a few sailors who are tired of their pirate ways and want to go back to their old jobs - drug running. They tell Quinn that others feel the same way. If only they could find someone to lead them, they could mutiny and overthrow the tyrannical McAllister. Quinn decides this requires bold leadership - and nominates Rembrandt for the job. Happy just to be a focal point, Rembrandt accepts.

Suddenly they find their ship in the middle of a naval battle on the edge of a pretty little resort town. Rembrandt informs his men to fight for their survival. They can betray McAllister when it's over. Unfortunately, McAllister proves an inept leader and their ship is overrun. Rembrandt, Colin and Quinn escape to dry land but there's no sign of Maggie. They wander through town for a bit, dodging pirates and broom wielding women, before encountering Maggie at a slave auction. Patrons are yelling "Bring out the brunette! We want the brunette!" as Maggie struts her stuff. Rembrandt offers $200, before Colin yells out $250. Quinn smacks him upside the head. They finally win Maggie, two chickens, and a dog for $437.

After a rousing good time of raping and pillaging, the Sliders find themselves in a prison cell at the end. Just out of reach is the dog, who has the timer in his mouth. Oddly enough, the episode ends without resolution.

"This was a tough one to film," said O'Connell. "I had gotten tired of the Studios so I took the crew down to Disneyland for the day. Unfortunately, not everyone was to keen about us filming in one of their attractions."

Nonetheless, Charlie turned in his most convincing performance to date.

"That whuppin' he took from that extra, damn that looked real," said Cleavant Derricks.

"Happiest place in the world my ass!" muttered Charlie. Filming resumes at Universal next week.

McAllister's final words - "Arrrrrrr..... I don't know what I'm doing."

517 | Requiem.... and Revenge

The Silver Screen was once again calling Jerry O'Connell, this time in the form of a huge blockbuster called "Mission to Mars." Displeased with the episodes made in his last absence, O'Connell decided to just call it a season after episode eighteen. O'Connell reiterated that there is no Sliders without him, and since he had grown bored of it, it was time to end it.

With only two episodes to go, O'Connell felt it might be a good idea to start tying up all the loose threads strewn throughout the series' long history. Here's O'Connell:

"I starting thinking, whatever happened to those Kromaggs we were fighting all throughout season 4. There was something about finding some sort of weapon to destroy them all, and then there was that other character...Jade? No, no...Wade! Yeah, Wade! I figured we owed it to the fans to wrap up these angles in a thoughtful and dignified way. But then I said, who cares? I'm going to be a big movie star!"

The episode opens with a body double of Wade in Quinn's arms. She's dead. Quinn is wailing, "Why? Why, God, why?" He then turns to see Kromaggs, and lots of 'em.

"You damn dirty apes! You killed her! You killed them all you bastards!"

Quinn drops Wade to reveal a sub-machine gun. He then opens fire killing every last mutherfucka in the room. At this time, Rembrandt, Colin and Maggie run in. Rembrandt is broken up at the sight of his dead friend. In a touching montage, Rembrandt sings "Amazing Grace" over Wade's fallen body as the other three tear Kromaggs apart, limb from limb.

Quinn declares he will stop at nothing to avenge Wade's pointless and senseless death and will not rest until he's killed every last one of those stinkin' Kro-maggots. He rips his shirt off his back and grabs two big ass rifles. "Sliders, mount up!"

The carnage continues for three acts as Kromaggs are beheaded, disintegrated, dismembered and lit on fire. Finally, they fight their way to the command center. Here, the Kromagg commander, Mal Ree, reveals that he is Quinn's father.

Quinn: "No. That's not true. That's impossible!"

Ree: "Take a scan of my quantum signature. You know it to be true!"

Quinn: "Noooooooooooo!"

Colin asks what that makes him, but Ree swears he's never heard of him. Ree tries to convince Quinn to join forces with him and rule the dimensions as father and son. It's a tempting offer, but Ree won't let Colin come along. Quinn is enraged and kills Ree. During the fight, Rembrandt uncovers a secret Kromagg virus that will enable them to defeat the rest of the Kromagg armies. Quinn nixes the idea.

Quinn: "Do you have any idea how many dimensions we'll have to visit to kill every last Kromagg? Screw that. My bloodlust is sated. Let's go home."

Rembrandt: "Which home is that?"

Quinn: "Eh..might as well be yours."

Rembrandt: "Yippee!"

On a world at sunset, the four are saying their last good-byes to Wade. But Quinn has something special in mind.

Quinn: "Throughout these past two years, Wade has weighed heavy on my mind. While she was out there, I couldn't be truly happy. But now that I know she's gone, I can now move on without guilt. Maggie - will you marry me?"

Next up the series finale - and a very special Sliders wedding.

518 | Regrets, I've Had a Few

For the final episode, O'Connell wanted to bring back every recurring character that ever appeared on the show. However, he was too busy with his new movie to concern himself with such matters. So he put Peckinpah in charge.

Once again Peckinpah approached JRD. Once again JRD declined, declaring that he'd sooner play Gimli the Dwarf than ever work with that imbecile again. Sabrina Lloyd also declined after catching wind of what they did to her in the previous episode. Peckinpah was taken aback.

"I thought we went pretty easy on her. I wanted her to be a human brain inside a living spaceship, but that would deprive Jerry of holding her in his arms one last time. The things he ruins in the name of dramatic effect!"

Eventually, everyone turned down Peckinpah with the exception of the guy who plays Elston Diggs and the cast of "The Chasm", which was strangely appropriate due to the backlot chosen for this episode. Peck then recast Luciano Pavarotti as Arturo and made Diggs the priest. Finally the ultimate episode of Sliders was ready.

Back home, things are going swimmingly for the bride-and-groom-to-be until Diggs asks if anyone has any reason to object. From the back, someone bellows, "I-ah havah a reasona to objecta!"

"Arturo!" yells everybody. "Who?" asks best man Colin. Quinn smacks him upside the head.

Arturo: "It is I-ah! Arturo from uh season two, eh! You lefta me behinda and took my evila doubla."

Quinn: "So the Arturo we left behind on that irradiated wasteland wasn't ours after all? Sweet!"

They all break into song. Rembrandt and Pavarotti lead the congregation in singing Frank Sinatra's "My Way" before Quinn takes over for the big finish. As balloons drop and fireworks go off, the happy Sliders wave goodbye and Quinn douses Colin with a bottle of champagne as the credits roll one last time.