Dellyone

• You look at your TV remote to check the time.

• Whenever you travel, you always look for a Chandler or Dominion Hotel.

• You have an urge to plan your vacation around a visit to the Universal Studios backlot.

• You believe that your or your neighbor's swimming pool would look cool if you can figure out how to make a giant whirlpool.

• Every time you see a whirlpool in your toilet or in a sink, you have an urge to jump in.

• You are reading this list.

• You have the urge to yell, "Go, go, go" every time someone counts down to zero.

• You jump through a hula-hoop to simulate jumping into a vortex.

• You coax your friends to throw you into bushes, concrete, trees, sides of buildings and grass to simulate exiting a vortex.

• You bought one of those clocks that count down to the year 2000 and you reset it to count down to the final four season five episodes.

• You have another reason to fear hypodermic needles.

• You get really nervous if you are more than 400 miles away from your home.

• You try all the ATMs wherever you go just to see if your bank account increased.

• You constantly nag your parents, siblings and relatives to make sure there aren't any relatives you don't know about.

• You are constantly on the lookout for Wade, Colin, the professor, Logan and Colonel Rickman.

• You can name an episode in the first 5 seconds it comes on. For the severely addicted, you can name that episode when you see the vortex.

• You never go to see the fish in a pet store because it's too emotional for you.

• You base your decisions on what Quinn and company would do. Majority rules. For the severely addicted, you break it down by seasons.

• You attempt to steer all conversations to "Sliders."

• Every time you hear the words "wade" and "professor," you get emotional.

• When someone asks you where you are from you respond by saying Earth Prime, Azure Gate Bridge World or Earth (insert number here). For the severely addicted, you find yourself inadvertently claiming to be from Canada.

• When you get angry you say "Blistering idiot."

• You call every person you dislike: Kromagg, Magg, Kromaggot or Humagg.

• You have an urge to add to this list after you finish reading it.

• You pick a character to be that day and stay in character no matter the circumstances.

• When you watch an episode, you turn off the volume because you know all the words.

• You hold up cue cards to the TV so that the actors can read their lines.

• You write down all the dialogue because your VCR tape is almost worn out.

• Even if you've seen that episode a dozen times, even one that you thought was bad, you still watch the rerun.

• You check your front gate or front door every time you come home. If it squeaks, you are home. If it doesn't, it's not your house.

• You name your pets after the sliders (Smallest is Wade, largest is Arturo.)

• You actually think those are the sliders when you see them on other shows (What the heck is Wade doing on Sports Night, and why is Quinn talking to roaches?)

• You decide to write fanfiction and it always involves the following: finding the real professor, finding Wade, splitting Mallory and Quinn, defeating the Kromaggs, resticking Colin, the return of Logan St. Clare or Colonel Rickman and only focusing on certain sliders.

• You write fanfiction crossovers with The X-Files, Star Trek, Quantum Leap, Xena, Hercules, La Femme Nikita, The Matrix, Buffy and Angel.

• You prepare for the day that you meet your double.

• You keep watching an episode just to see the details on the timer being used.

• You are planning to build a time machine so that you can travel back in time to prevent Sliders from being cancelled by SFC.

• When your time machine is finished, you set it to the time before season three starts shooting to try to talk sense into the powers that be.

• You don't watch the four-play on Wednesday. You watch all six hours of it even though you see the same two episodes twice and they are shown two hours later.

• You watch Sliders in a foreign language and still understand it, despite not knowing the language.

• You refer to the Earth as 'THIS Earth.'

• If you live somewhere that doesn't get the episodes first, you have someone send them to you.

• You check the board each day before you check your e-mail.

• Once a year, half your friends and relatives disappear only to be replaced by new ones.

• The Vice-President of Programming at SFC has you on call block.

• You believe that Mel Tormé faked his own death.

• You have an unnatural fear of hopscotch.

• You ask your friends for favours but never follow up.

• Your license plate reads 'CRYNMAN,' 'KRIBABY' or for the severely addicted, '3PCE295.'

• You write the government asking for a job as a re-populator.

• Your handle has the word 'Slider' in it... on EVERY board.

• You blame subliminal messages for your overspending.

• You now believe that zombies, hybrids, and vampires are real.

• You conduct PTSS re-enactments in which you chain up one of your friends in a basement for a week.

• Your life is constantly getting more complicated and less realistic.

• You remember who Michelle was.

• You think that Kromaggs, even the Nazi variety, are scarier than anything in 'The Blair Witch Project.'

• You would buy GeoMash.

• You would buy Maggie's toothbrush.

• You know the jokes behind the titles "Electric Twister Acid Test" and "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou."

• You are very, very careful to pay all medical bills.

• You feed your toddler by flying a 'manta ship' spoon into her 'vortex' mouth.

• You call Court TV, asking them why they won't let you vote on each case.

• You sing a '20s-style jazz number whenever you have half an hour to burn.

• You think Nancy Reagan must've gotten it backwards.

• You're afraid to dig in your backyard lest you unleash a plague of blue-skinned cannibal monsters.

• You mail R.K. Weiss twice a day... asking to be IN the movie.

• You look up Daelin Richards in every city you pass through.

• You blame everything on right-wingers.

• You drive a humvee.

• You point out to the manager that his Motel 6 has the wrong number.

• Things that should take 60 seconds invariably take you over 2 1/2 minutes.

• You have a strange mental handicap which makes you unable to distinguish the words "Chancellor" and "Chandler."

• You believe the ancient Egyptian dynasties spoke English.

• When walking through a door with a group of friends, you manage to emerge in a different order than you entered.

• You gave up your pet dog after one week.

• You actually sat through "Slither."

• You make a humorous post using the Sliders cast instead of flaming someone. The problem comes when you post it on all message boards you come across including the IRS, the FBI, and the CIA.

• You are trying to take apart your tv remote to see if there is a wormhole tracking device in it.

• You answer every question with "I'm from Canada." even if the person asks your name, the time, day, etc.

• You watch a tape of an episode just to see what Quinn and company wore in that episode.

• You put your tape of PTSS in your VCR on continuous replay just in case you can spot a clue proving that the real professor is still alive.

• You can't believe you keep adding more things to this list.

• You fear Halloween because a real Kromagg could come to your house and no one would notice.

• You don't want to go to an optometrist or ophthalmologist because you never know if he/she is a Kromagg.

• You wish you had the Kromagg ability to trick an ATM to give you money even when your bank account is empty.

• You hope Santa breaks into SFC and switches the happy ending episode of "The Seer" with the rotten one that they are going to show.

• You hope Santa gives the execs that cancelled "Sliders" more than coal in their stocking. How about coal upside the head?

• You believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy... why not a sixth season?

• You call everyone you know Mister or Miss.

• You mutilate your cell phone trying to make it into a timer.

• You piss people off and then go back and blame it on your double from a parallel world.

• You call you your friends by weird nicknames like "Q-Ball."

• You are thinking about writing a Sliders ending fanfic.

• During the Sci-Fi Channel's "Four-Play" promotion, you planned nothing for Wednesdays so that you could watch Sliders for four hours.

• You grow up, get married, have kids, and name them Quinn, Max, Wade, Rembrandt, Maggie, Colin, and Diana.

• You wear black every day they reshow 'Exodus Part Two.'

• You scream at the people who spell Wade's name "Wells."

• You can't stand people who refer to it as 'That time travel show that Fox cancelled.'

• You always turn around to ask when the next slide is.

• You can put the show on mute and list off the lines.

• You join Rembrandt or Quinn in the intro.

• You hum the Sliders theme while you go to school/work.

• You had nightmares about what 'The Seer' would turn out to be.

• You have watched PTSS over and over to see if it was the real professor.

• You know all of the 'slide rules' (ex. #2a).

• You have the book Everything I Say Is Right by Maximillian Arturo.

• You want to work at Doppler Electronics.

• You have a copy of Wade's diary.

• You've been searching for the first album Rembrandt made when he split up from the Topps.

• You've read some of Arturo's theories ... and consider them light reading.

• You have artifacts you claim to be from different Earths (like one from a world not colonized by Europe, or currency from a world where the Russians rule America.)

• You change your name to Quinn (or Wade for female fans).

• You choose your screen name based on Sliders.

• Your home page is sliders.com.

• People mention the name Rembrandt; you think of the slider and not the painter.

• You take off from work or school to watch a Sliders marathon (if they ever showed one.)

• Every time you hear the Goo Goo Dolls song "Slide", you think of Sliders.

• You hate FOX because they cancelled Sliders, and hate Sci-Fi because they're going to cancel Sliders.

• You watch every movie and show that Jerry O'Connell is in, just because you loved him in Sliders.

• You dream about meeting Jerry O'Connell (or another slider.)

• You dream about marrying Wade Welles (or Quinn Mallory.)

• You take a second mortgage out on your house just so you can have all the Sliders merchandise that's out there.

• You actually know what the Einstein-Rosen-Podelski Bridge is.

• You name your cat Schrödinger or your dog Bopper.

• You tape every episode of Sliders even though you watch them while they're on, just so you can see them again later.

• You went through serious Sliders withdrawal after FOX cancelled Sliders and before Sci-Fi snatched it up.

• You actually build a timer so you can travel to parallel worlds.

• Instead of going to another city, state, province, or foreign country, you plan to go to a parallel world for your vacation.

• When you visit San Francisco, you actually look for Quinn's house.

• Your family hates you, because you monopolize the television and all you watch is Sliders.

• You post on the Sliders bulletin board more than once a week.

• Whenever you get off a plane or any other mode of transportation, arriving somewhere you've never been, you look around and turn to the person next to you (whether you know them or not) and ask, "How long until we slide?"

• You find it strange that your digital clock is counting up.

• When at bars (this one is for guys), you look for a girl who is like Wade.

• Whenever changing channels with your remote, you stick it up at eye level and press the button.

• You avoid the ape house at the local zoo. For the severely addicted, you've been banned from the zoo because one time you tried to get into the ape house with a gun.

• Ever since seeing "Dream Masters" you are overly kind to nerds or other social outcasts.

• You look up characters' names in the phone book.

• You tape silicone implants inside a Halloween bald cap and put it on, then ask your parents if you can serve their eyes on a platter to all your friends.

• You make a 'Pshhhew!' sound every time you go down a waterslide or throw clothes in a dryer.

• You yell 'Ahh!!!' every time you go in a highway tunnel and ask the driver to 'Hit that British guy!'

• You make a montage of all songs you've ever heard with the word 'slide' such as The Red Hot Chilli Peppers' 'Otherside' (How long will I slide?) and Third Eye Blind's 'Narcolepsy Slide' (Slide into another nightmare!).

• You cry when you eat grapes and apologize for 'eating your eyes, Nuclear God Bennish'.

• You ask the Monkey Keeper at the zoo if he ever had an "improper relationship with the monkeys and then shipped the offspring to a parallel universe".

• You go to a music store looking for CDs by Danny Lux.

• You try to remember little details of everyday life in case you will get to a parallel world and you will have to tell the worlds apart.

• You visit the park statue to see whether it has changed.

• When you see something lying on the floor you pick it up to see if it can help you fix your timer.

• You believe Santa exists in a parallel universe.

• When someone asks you to come with him, you tell him you tell him you can't because you will miss the slide.

• When someone asks to let him come with you, you tell him the vortex isn't strong enough.

• You're always looking for someone to save in hope he's a slider and he'll take you with him.

• You know the Latin for "So Long, Suckers".

• Whenever you hear a word that even remotely sounds like "pulsar," you scream and burst into tears.

• You can't look at a fish tank without crying.

• You try to imitate the facial impressions of (insert favorite Slider here.)

• When you see a computer, you think of Wade.

• You sliced open your mother's arm to find YOUR microdot.

• You always manage to say "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I'M NOT ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS" to everybody, even if they aren't remotely teachers.

• You've never been to the East Coast and don't even know what it is.

• You don't go to concerts as you fear the band members will cast a spell on you.

• You are afraid to play the piano because a vampire will approach you.

• You dyed your dark brown hair red and no has mentioned it.

• When your father shaved off his moustache, it took you 2 TV seasons to believe that he wasn't a double.

• You don't remember anything that happened before March 22, 1995.

• Your headstone reads February 4, 2000, even though you aren't actually dead yet.

• You refuse to play the lottery.

• When you watch Sports Night, you get angry because Wade doesn't act dreamy anymore.

• You want to enroll at North Shore Junior College, majoring in Poetry and Prose.

• You comb family pictures and history books so that in case you are lost in the multiverse, you'll be able to spot out differences easily.

• When you meet Sabrina Lloyd, she screams and tells you that she doesn't want any more dead roses and notes that tell her to dump Sports Night and go back to Sliders "or else." You just blink and tell her that the dead roses represent your heart without Wade and that the notes are just friendly "reminders" to go back to Sliders. (I've watched TOO many TV movies.)

• Every cast member of Sliders has a restraining order against you.

• During fights with your parents, you yell that they are just doubles of your REAL parents.

• After earning a rep as the local tramp, you blame it all on those pancake thingies and expect people to believe you.

• You take an instant dislike to anybody who would try splitting up Quinn and Wade - i.e. Prince Harold, Ryan, Derek Bond, etc.

• Every night, you have nightmares of being hunted by Logan.

• Your video collection consists of every movie and TV series the stars have been in - i.e. My Secret Identity, Father Hood, Moscow on the Hudson, etc.

• You own every prop that was used, i.e. the various timers (including the one that got smashed by a lamp in The Seer), Wade's necklace, etc.

• Some guy mentions "Carpe Diem" and you launch into a diatribe about how that phrase reminds you of what nearly happened to Rembrandt when Monique's real fiancé showed up.

• You hang around a girl you like a lot in hopes that you will both be snatched into a bubble universe.

• You nervously watch your parents each day, in fear that they will pull a gun on you and tell you that you aren't from this earth.

• Each time you walk through the park, YOU hear Wade calling you to rescue her from the Kromaggs.

• You are convinced that one of your long lost friends that you can't track down is, in fact, unstuck in a vortex somewhere.

• You recognize Robert Englund from "State of the A.R.T." and scream at the teens in the Nightmare on Elm Street movies to kill Freddy by pulling his electronic spine out.

• When you hear two different versions of the same story, you freak out thinking your continuity just got screwed up.

• You know the words to "Tears in My 'Fro" and sing it in the shower.

• You change the channel from Sports Night when Sabrina's scenes aren't on.

• You have a dartboard with Peckinpah's picture on it and ritualistically throw large, sharp objects at it.

• You scream periodic table elements when you play Othello.

• You try to get a fellow student to start smoking pot.

• Upon succeeding in the above, you begin referring to him as Bennish.

• You bought all of Roger Daltrey's CDs after watching "Exodus" with the intent to burn them.

• You started college an innocent student and eventually became an action hero.

• You attempt to build a timer with the purpose to find Guardian World and beat up the doubles of the punks that harassed you as a kid.

• When a large man goes down a waterslide ahead of you, you immediately follow behind him and try to land on him at the bottom.

• You plan to fly to New Zealand to be a JRD "Gimli Groupie."

• You can tell what episode is playing by what your favorite character is wearing.

• When you go to the store, you search for clothes that resemble something Wade wore once...

• You read books about quantum physics constantly.

• You get pissed off when people spell Wade's or Logan's last names wrong... it's Welles and St. Clair!

• Your friends just walk away when you start saying anything involving the words "slide", "vortex", "timer" or character/actor names.

• Your friends walk away a lot...

• You've downloaded the theme songs off Napster.

• You have every single episode on tape, in order, without commercials, neatly stacked.

• You scream at your TV.

• When watching other TV shows, you keep expecting to see a vortex open.

• OTHER TV shows???

• If someone says something that resembles a line from Sliders, you begin to quote the rest of that episode.

• When invited to go out with friends, you respond, "I'd love to, but I'm in the middle of watching Sliders!" even though it's a tape you're watching.

• You've memorized the Bill of Rights, Constitution, Declaration of Independence, etc. in case another world doesn't have them and needs your help.

• Your hairdresser is getting annoyed because every time you get your hair cut, you bring in a picture of your favorite Slider and ask to have your hair done like that.

• You've turned your basement into a lab.

• The greatest compliment you've ever received was when someone told you that you reminded them of Sabrina Lloyd (or your favorite).

• You have the ability to change your clothes in about three seconds, about the amount of time it takes to get through a wormhole.

• You've stopped changing your clothes.

• You can go a whole day speaking nothing but Sliders quotes.