I have unraveled the greatest list of plots ever created by the one, the only (thank God), David Peckinpah during his idea sessions! That's right; these are the top ten Season Three plots which were never developed into episodes. Here we go...10. "Return To Neverland" - Here, Maggie dreams up a world full of drugs, alcohol, and men with hats! Things go downhill when the Queen tries to chop off her breasts for talking out of turn. Peckinpah axed this because he was afraid Maggie's breasts would indeed be chopped off, and because he forgot to mention the first time Neverland was visited. I mean, why else would it be called "Return To Neverland?" It's not like anyone's done it before!
9. "CinderRemmy" - Okay, here Peck pictured a world where one man fit the magic platform shoe. Princess Charmin (pronounced like the toilet paper) is looking all over the world (San Francisco) for the man she fell in love with at her last Disco Bash. The man is Remmy's double, who with the help of his Fairy Godfather of Soul (Peck wanted James Brown to guest star), dressed up in full disco attire and went to the discotheque against the will of his evil Agent and his three Record Producers. Our Remmy is mistaken for him, and hilarity ensues!
8. "The Uncanny A-Men" - In an age of mutants, in a world of fear, one team of Sliders are mutantkind's only ambassadors of freedom. They are the A-Men! Professor A, Marvelously Well Endowed Girl, The Goddess, One-Eyed Quinn, and The Crier! Together they must battle the evil Colonel Magnet and his Collaboration of Not So Nice Mutated People! Oh, and just so you know, it is not explained at all why Arturo is alive, or how any of these people became mutants. Other than that, it's fun for the whole family!
7. "Back to The Future Slide" - Here is where Peck gave up on clever working of Slide into movie titles and just added the word at the end of the title. An early Season 3 episode, this had a double to Arturo creating a time machine and incorporating it into his old Jalopy. Then, for no apparent reason, he seeks out his best pupil to help him on his time travel journey. He finds our Quinn and his double and believed they are from the future. Quinn and The Professor go along with it, and decide to help the Arturo double on his quest to alter time so that he could stop his past self from inventing the machine to begin with. Confused? So was Peck, so he scrapped the thing in favor of Electric Twister Acid Test. Yay!
6. "Stripperslide" - Maggie. Strip club. Rip-off of Strippers. Need I say more?
5. "Slide Trek: The Next Generation" - Inexplicably, the Sliders slide onto the bridge of the Slideship Entrepreneur on its maiden voyage. The whole idea behind this episode was that the crew would be the offspring of the Sliders cast. The only problem was that Peck made the characters offspring of the CAST, not the actual CHARACTERS. So, fans would have met such lovable lunkheads as Captain Jean Luke O'Connell, Jordie Derricks, Lt. LaRhys Davies, and, of course, Worf Lloyd. The point of the episode: to boldly go where no Sliders have gone before. Home you ask? No silly. Canada! Yup, they beam them down to Canada where the Sliders can no longer use the excuse "We're from Canada." Ugh.
4. "Afraid of Spiders" - Peck couldn't use Arachnophobia because it was trademarked, so instead he went to a dictionary for the first time in his life and looked up the meaning of the word. Thus, the title of this delightful tale involving the Maggie team of Sliders is born. Stuck on the world for three months, the sliders turn to pest control for some cash. Peck writes in that Wade was an exterminator before she worked at Doppler, giving him a reason for them to turn to such a job. Yeah, right. Anyway, they respond to a call about spiders taking over a house, and the Sliders jump into action! Sporting their insecticide and their sex appeal, Quinn and Maggie kick spider ass for about thirty minutes, while Remmy and Wade just look on with an interested look on their faces. The idea was scrapped after Sabrina threatened to rip off Peck's balls and feed them to him if he dared to make her sit and watch this insanity for thirty minutes.
3. "Hey Kids, It's the Sliders Muppets Happy Hour!" - You guessed it, a world completely inhabited by Muppets! With the timer broken (haven’t seen this enough have we?), Quinn and the others must seek out the greatest scientists of this world, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and his lab assistant Beeker! Witness a duet between Rembrandt Brown and Fozzie with Animal on drums! Witness Gonzo going gonzo over Maggie! Witness Kermit going after Wade, and what a jealous Miss Piggy will do to win back her man! This episode would have happened, had Peckinpah ever even called the Henson company to ask about it. Ah well, I guess we'll never get to see the Swedish Chef teach Quinn how to cook after all. Drat!
2. "Honey, I Shrunk The Sliders" - On a world where instead of a Sliding machine Quinn Mallory (wearing glasses to make him look more like Rick Moranis) invented a shrink ray, the Sliders end up his accidental first subjects! After the usual open the gate trick, Quinn and the others enter his house and go straight to the basement where they accidentally walk into the shrink beam. What would the Sliders do to escape the vacuum, the cat, and the box of Honey Nut Cheerios? Sadly we'll never know. Too bad, cuz I know I'd love to see Maggie get stuck in the bag.
And now, the #1 rejected plot is...
1. "Who Ya Gonna Call?" - I ain't afraid of no movie rip-off! Well, at least he didn't call it Slidebusters or Ghostsliders. Anyway, the main plot of this episode involved the Sliders chasing around ghosts all episode to save this San Fransisco from the evils of the Stayfresh Bubblegum Man. Oh, and Remmy is accidently called Winston twice in the script, and Arturo is called Egon four times. Ah well, at least there's an alternate world premise here. "They land in San Fransisco, not San Francisco. It's spelled differently!"
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"What shall we do to defeat the evil Stayfresh Bubblegum Man? I know, I'll eat him!"
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