SHINY:
a Kari Wuhrer albumMSTed by HurriKain Lyrics courtesy
kariwuhrer.net
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HK sat in a circle with five other people. Kari had been pushing him off the deep end so he decided to attend a support group at a local church. A lady wearing thick-as-hell glasses spoke up as she address the attendees.Woman: Okay, I want you to close your eyes... HK, along with everyone else, did what he was told. W: Imagine yourself inside a beautiful forest... His state of consciousness transported him inside a remote forest, with a few trees already cut down and the remaining stumps covered in flowers. W: You are quite lost... HK: Yeah, no shit... <collective gasp> HK: sorry... W: Ahem... You walk around a bit, and what do you find? You find your cave... HK now visualizes himself entering an icy cave. W: and at the end of the cave, you will see... your power animal... HK looks forward, only to see a topless Kari smoking a joint. She turn to him, looking nonchalant, and says something. Kari: Slide.  Ladies and gentlemen. This may come as a shock to you but... ITS ANOTHER :-#ING SONG ABOUT FLOWERS!!! SWEET MARY, MOTHER OF JESUS!!!!! Okay... okay... calm down... let's get this song ready so it can be burned at the stake.Her name is Lily, she's not so very young
Her only dream to be the brightest star That's it, Kari. I'm oughtta started taking you to my English class because your idea for skipping words and phrases are having worried me.Spending time making pretty pastel flowers GAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! <doubles in size and turns green. Cars crash. Metal bends. Car alarms go off. A cat screams. after a few minutes, HK returns wearing torn clothing.> Dammit, I just BOUGHT these jeans!To float away on down the stream
there goes the dream ... What the hell are you talking about?Chorus:
She's coming down with happiness
She's coming down with happiness
She's got little birds <Twang!!> What the hell? <Looks over to see his cooking timer lying on the floor, gears and springs falling out of the thing> KAAAAARRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!Uh... no...acting silly
now she's only four years old First you tell me that she's not so very young, and now you hit me that she's four years old? What kind of sick game is this?Frantic smile
oh, and a foolish heart Maybe this song is autobiographical. Maybe it was the first time Kari found her Daddy's CRACK! She was never the same agian...Tired eyes watching rainbows turn to vapor
Sits alone, ties her shoes in knots
reflects her thoughts <then every appliance around HK starts breaking with a loud sucession of Twangs> damn... Damn... DAAAAAAAMN!!!!( Chorus. Kari's little birds have flown the coop. )I'm alive, so alive (x3) Whoa, hold on... I thought this song was about "Lily". Can't "Lily" have the spotlight for herself for once?!<pictures Kari in some sort of lab, creating a well-endowed (as in elephantine) monster, screaming this line.><shudders> Ladies and gentlemen, we have successfully caught Kari having an orgasm while singing. CONGRATULATIONS!Her name is Lily, she's not so very young
Her only dream to be the highest sun Wait wait wait. You said earlier that Lily wanted to be the brightest star. Is this "Lily" as indecisive as you?Spending time and she sells roses for a dollar Hey, that's a good deal! You know how much flower shops charge for roses nowadays. Just tell me what street corner you're at and I'll be right there!Hides in bed where the canopy is a willow tree Oh, this song is about a BIRD! Now it makes PERFECT sense! >:-(( Chorus. Cuckoo Cuckoo Cuckoo Cuckoo. ) SWEET JESUS! GOD ALMIGHTY! My head hurts! Two more songs! Just two... more... songs... need Tylenol....
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