SHINY: a Kari Wuhrer albumMSTed by HurriKain Lyrics courtesy kariwuhrer.net
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( The screen is black. The intro to "The Real Slim Shady" begins playing. )May I have your attention please...May I have your attention please... Will the real HurriKain please stand up... Will the real HurriKain please stand up... ( The music stops as a spotlight lands on HK, wearing a straitjacket. )It's time you got back to your cell. That is all. HK: DAMMIT!Hey, fellow music fans, welcome to another edition of Kari Wuhrer's "Shiny". This time we'll see the brokenhearted side of Kari in "Hands of Mary", a ballad that is also a tribute to late-80s, early 90s rock. READY THE FIRING SQUAD! Where have all the flowers gone today? Earlier that day, she found this letter in an empty field:Dear Kari, We can't take this no more. Every day the constant plucking and sniffing, and your shirts reeking of CRACK vapor. And that song you made about us was so :-#ing horrible that we damn near wilted. So, we think it's best for you (and more importantly, for our own well-being), that we pack up our petals and leave. Hopefully, we will find a place where neither your fingers nor your singing will ever reach us. Sincerely, the Pretty Flowers (hey hey) I'm drowning in the pool of words you say Back at ya, Kari.and hold me down words, all unfound in the Hands of Mary You're having visions of the Virgin Mary raping you?!?!?!!?! Kari... it's time to step down and call Betty Ford...She floating off the walls she said today Huh? <Twang!!>Bringing in her world in all her ways Just a couple of hits of E, and Kari's transporting herself to exotic and imaginary locales.NO!! NO NO NO NO NO!!!Words, all unfound in the Hands of Mary I'm just wondering, is this a proper use of the word "unfound"? IS "unfound," for that matter, a word?What IS it with you and your fascination with flowers? Is it a fetish?It's the "Mighty Mouse" syndrome, I tell ya. I'm drowning in a pool of words you say You are drowning ME, missy. In a pool of madness. Your words make no sense and that hinders my intelligence and sanity. You'll hear from my lawyer! >:-(For the last time, NO!!!!!!!!Words, are unfound... ( Drums and guitars starts to pick up ) I'm drunk in your splendor Warm in your splendor HIIIIGH in your splendor (x2) Yet another 'holiness' reference associated with substance abuse. Jesus, Kari.Yes, you are.Hope you like (or dislike) today's song. Boy, I'm beat…
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