The Crapparatus
SHINY:
a Kari Wuhrer album

MSTed by HurriKain

Lyrics courtesy
kariwuhrer.net

Okay, so it's really a screencap from 'Data World.'

 SHINY - Part II

    "Your Octopus"
See Kari. See Kari smell flowers today. Pretty flowers today. Hey hey. After yesterday's CRACK-fest, our favorite songbird bounces back on a song about the human spirit... well, not exactly, but she DOES seem kinda bouncy!

Anyway, with the CRACK-o-meter still in the shop, it looks like I'll be flying solo...

    When I walk in late last night
    Dance beneath the crystal stars
    Break for freedom in this lonely world
    I'm not feeling lonely now
    'Cause I'm ready to try
    And I'm ready to fly
    I'm ready now...
It seems that Kari wrote this on her latest porno shoot. 'Furthur' analysis reveals her sentiment that a normal day of s--ing and :-#ing wouldn't be complete without a hit of good old "Ecstasy". One gulp and she's ready to spread her "wings" like an eagle.
    Chorus: ( Note - I am NOT making this up! )

    I smelled the flowers today
    I smelled the flowers today
    I smelled the flowers today
    I smelled the flowers today
    What more is there to say,
    Smelled the flowers (flowers)
    Pretty flowers today
    Hey Hey

What a shame this isn't playing on the radio... it took her an entire TWO WEEKS to write that chorus.
    Put a mirror into your octopus
    And quit your grabbin' for awhile
Yeah, Peck! Get your grubby hands off of her. The show's been over for a year and she has nothing to gain from you anymore... well, maybe $20. And one more thing... putting a mirror to your "octopus" will NOT make it bigger!
    I see the sunshine in the way the clouds are moving
    But they don't
    No
    They don't fool me
    'Cause I'm ready to give
    And I'm ready to live
    I'm ready now...
Yeah, clouds're always trying to fool people nowadays... but not you, Kari. No, you're WAY too smart for them. No cloud is gonna get in the way of a good :-#. 'Must have sex before it rains.'
    ( Chorus. Give this woman pretty smelling flowers and you too can sleep with Kari Wuhrer! )

    I know a part of me is dying
    (I know a part of meeeee)
    Just like everybody else

Uh oh, looks like it's time to get those boobies checked. You know what leaked silicon can do to you. So far the only part of me dying is my brain from all of your tumor-inducing songwriting.
    But I know God made me HIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHH
    So why can't anybody else be, yeah
Hey, don't blame Him!!! It's not like God meets you in a back alley every week, giving you Holy CRACK, Holy Acid, and Hol-E. I bet God made that super cool bong back in your rented shack, too. Maybe it's time you should seek help, what with blaming GOD for your sinful habits!
    ( Chorus x2 )
Is it me, or is Kari suffering from that "Mighty Mouse" syndrome? When she smells flowers, she gets super happy and horny.

Better end this review before I slowly slip into insanity. I think I hear God calling. :-) Stay tuned for another trip into the mind of Kari…