<HenryTheWonderDog trots past, ignoring him.> : Hey Timmy! How's it going, good buddy?

TBH: <flipping rhrough Story Game printouts> : I've had worse days. I'm not looking forward to more Seer but what're ya gonna do?

SL4: Hey Henry.

HTWD: Did you hear something?

TBH: SL4y's bleating about something but I wasn't paying attention to him.

SL4: All right, Henry, what did I do to piss you off?

HTWD: I could have sworn I heard something that sounded like a traitorous punk trying to suck up to me after stabbing me in the back! But it must have just been a rat scurrying into the wall.

SL4: Oh. You saw what's happened to my website.

HTWD: How could you do this to me? I thought I was your number one dog! This is outrageous!

TBH: What did you do?

SL4: Oh, go to http://home.att.net/~zippyman/index.html and find out.

TBH: <staring at SL4 in horror> : You know, I've seen a lot of shameless, disgraceful plugs in my lifetime, but this "skit" has got to win first prize. Now I hate you.

SL4: What are you talking about? I was just standing here innocently...

TBH: Did you hear something? It sounded like an alien hybrid hamster was talking out of his >:-#.

The Seer - Part V

ACT TWO
FADE IN:
19 INT. BALLROOM - DAY 19
The scene is as we left it. Vernon is still there.

SL4: How comforting.

Mallory, as gently as he can, pries her hands from his face.

TBH: <mimicking Mallory> : You really should use Palmolive, lady. Ouch!

MALLORY: Sorry, lady, I think you have the wrong guy.

HTWD: Funny, we've been thinking that all season.

MRS. MALLORY: Quinn...

SL4: Who is she fooling? A blind Farscape fan on CRACK wouldn't mistake this loser for Quinn.

REMBRANDT (to Claire) : Is she a duplicate?

TBH: <mimicking Claire> : What's this about "duplicates" ? Normal people call them "doubles."

CLAIRE: Sadly, no. The Kromaggs built several work camps on our world. There are refugees here from a dozen Earths. This is who you think it is.

HTWD: There are a lot of weak premises in this ep, but this is by far the lamest. And this stretches the timeline even farther out because they are saying that the Kromaggs were on this world long enough to feel like it was secure enough to start building prison camps and bring in people from other worlds.

VERNON: I'll take care of her.

TBH: <mimicking Claire> : Yes, go with this rabid fan stranger who just happens to be standing nearby. I'll call you in two or three days and see if he got you home alright.

Vernon steps in and gently escorts Mrs. Mallory away.

SL4: You'd think the hockey mask sticking out of his pocket would give the others pause.

HTWD: They're glad to be rid of the crazy biddy.

MALLORY: That's not my mother. Will someone please tell me what's going on?

TBH: <mimicking Mallory> : Because I've completely forgotten that I have a second person trapped inside me and it would never occur to me to think that it might have something to do with him. Especially since she said "Quinn..."

MAGGIE: That was Quinn's mother. Our Quinn.

HTWD: No, you need to be even more specific than that. Which season's Quinn was she the mother of?

MALLORY: I'm your Quinn!

HTWD: And I'm Lassie. Bark bark!

TBH: Timmy's been treed by a rabid rabbit wielding a rotorooter?

HTWD: Bark!

Maggie realizes she's hurt his feelings again.

SL4: Even worse than the time she laughed til she puked when he said Katie Couric was his favorite mindless morning drone.

MAGGIE: I didn't mean it that way.

TBH: I meant to say "the REAL Quinn," not "our Quinn."

REMBRANDT: Where is he taking her?

HTWD: Too late to care now! The Nerdly Stranger could have her in the next state by now!

CLAIRE: Mrs. Mallory sometimes has post traumatic spells.

SL4: Ah yes, the vapors. What is this, a 40's movie? Why didn't she do a dramatic faint when she saw him?

CLAIRE: The work camp, then the knowledge of what happened to her son. Don't worry, we look after her.

TBH: I always knew she was squirrely. Girlfriend DID used to talk to her dead husband.

REMBRANDT: Don't mean to spoil your party, but we're running out of time. And, we were serious when we told you we were leaving.

HTWD: Are you picking up the implications, Claire? They'd rather DIE than spend any more time with you here on this hideous world!

MALLORY: The sooner the better, far as I'm concerned.

SL4: I like the bitter, callous Mallory MUCH more than the "I'm amusing!" Mallory. :-P

MAGGIE: Now about that virus.

TBH: If you need a virus, why don't you just scrape one off yourself? I'm sure you have 5 or 10 of them.

CLAIRE: There's none available.

HTWD: Tom Green was partying here last week. He drank all we had.

DIANA: You don't keep any extra on hand? What if the Kromaggs return?

SL4: Um, Diana, come here a minute, babe. THEY HAVE A PSYCHIC GOD LIVING WITH THEM!! THEY DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT *MIGHT* HAPPEN!!

CLAIRE: The virus has a very short shelf life.

TBH: Even shorter than Bin Laden jokes.

CLAIRE: The key components are stored at military bases around the world but it has to be freshly synthesized in order for it to be effective.

HTWD: Kinda like pop music.

DIANA: How long does that take?

SL4: You trusting lamb. You're asking the person who wants you to stay here past your Slide date!!

CLAIRE: From what I understand, the incubation period is two days.

TBH: <mimicking Claire> : That's not too long is it?

The Sliders look at each other. Another major disappointment.

HTWD: I also feel that every time I look at this bunch.

MALLORY: We've got a little more than two hours.

SL4: Which is longer than Kari's music career lasted.

CLAIRE: Look, I have to introduce my father. But afterwards we can talk business. Please reconsider. Your lives are at stake.

TBH: They've made up their minds, they'd rather die than look at you the rest of their lives!

She crosses away.

HTWD: Did either of you notice this river they keep crossing?

REMBRANDT (to others) : We already have.

SL4: Well, you have, anyway. The others are following the Big Dog.

TIME CUT TO:
20 INT. THE BALLROOM - DAY 20
As Claire takes the stage. The other guests are taking their seats.

TBH: <hopping from one foot to the next> : Um, um, the stage and seats are taken, um can I have the wallpaper?

CLAIRE: Ladies and gentlemen. Dear friends and fellow 'Sliders.' Welcome. Before we adjourn to the dining room,

SL4: Yeah, yeah, they're all talk and no food. :-I

CLAIRE: it gives me great pleasure to introduce, our leader, The Seer.

TBH: <mimicking crowd> : Booo! We want the dancing spider monkeys! Bring on the dancing spider monkeys!

The Seer takes center position in the room of enthusiastic APPLAUSE.

HTWD: Enthusiastic applause? These people really need to get out more. If this makes them wet, Gallagher would kill them.

THE SEER: This is indeed a joyous occasion.

TBH: <mimicking Seer> : I knew it would be.

THE SEER: The heroic young people I've been viewing from afar are finally with us.

SL4: It's kinda like looking at a kitten through a store window, isn't it? Now that you have it home, what the hell do you do with it?

He turns and smiles at the Sliders.

HTWD: UG! Don't do that again!

21 ANGLE ON BALLROOM 21
The room goes nuts.

SL4: Very appropriate, they HAVE to be in a loony farm to be getting this kind of reaction.

The Sliders tolerantly wave and nod.

TBH: How sweet of them to be tolerant. They are Zen masters.

22 BACK TO SEER - INTERCUTTING 22

THE SEER: As most of you know, I have seen a future

HTWD: MOST? The food must be fire if there are people here who don't know he can see the future! Because so far they're not here for the stage show, it sucks.

THE SEER: for our friends that is bleak. Certain death lies beyond the next slide. It is for that reason that our friends have decided to remain with us to help lay the foundation for our new order, Slidology, the ideological discipline for tomorrow.

SL4: TEE HEE. He's getting ready to experience what every moron who asks a woman to marry him in public; without finding out privately what her answer will be; experiences.

The Sliders react.

TBH: They do that a lot in this ep, don't they? I think that every time the scriptwriter was stuck he wrote about somebody reacting. "The actors reacting will take up ten minutes total, so I only have to write 35 minutes of crap. WOO HOO!!!"

MAGGIE (sotto) : What does that guy think he's doing?

TBH: <mimicking scriptwriter> : And sotto voices and whispering will take up another ten minutes! WOO HOO! I can knock off early tonight and catch the ball game!

DIANA (sotto) : That would be the business part his daughter spoke of.

HTWD: I guess she didn't spend her whole life buried in books. She knows a weasel when she sees one.

MALLORY (sotto) : Seems we're only silent partners.

SL4: No, you couldn't be, because in order to be silent you have to shut the >:-# UP once in a while!

REMBRANDT (not so sotto)

TBH: <raising hand> : Who knew this was going to happen? The scriptwriter looked up and saw he'd used "(sotto)" three times in a row so he thought it was time to plug in a "joke." <voice filled with awe> This is "jubblies" level of genius here.

REMBRANDT: Not this group. Come on.

HTWD: You're a better man than I am, Remmy. I'd been outta there as soon as I realized the food gambit was a scam.

The Sliders rise and move toward the Seer. He notes their approach with a warm smile (assuming they're stepping up to address the group).

SL4: TEE HEE. This is fugly. I love this.

THE SEER: Before we proceed further we'll ask our honored guests to say a few words.

TBH: YESSSSSS. Keep digging yourself in deeper. :-D

He turns just as Rembrandt is passing behind him.

TBH: <mimicking Remmy> : How come you didn't see THIS coming, Prediction God? MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

REMBRANDT (turns to audience) : Thank you and good night.

SL4: <snickering> : I think I'm aroused. This is sweet.

TBH: <sliding away from SL4ever and then mimicking Remmy> : Yeah! Sandbag us AGAIN, >:-#! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

And they are gone, leaving The Seer and followers in the lurch.

HTWD: They did more than that. Considering he can see the future, they left him looking like an old, incompetent buffoon! TEE HEE.

TBH: Remmy should have been wearing a condem considering what he just did to the Seer. :-D