SL4: When IS a group of Sliders ever encumbered by security?

Remmy: "Oh, it's here. Wade is just moving us around it."

TBH: <mimicking Mallory> : In that case, when we meet her we need to talk about banks. :-P

<Footsteps approach and the Sliders duck through an unlocked door. The room beyond is dark and spooky.>

Remmy <pointing> : "This way."

HTWD: Will they >:-#-ing get somewhere already! This MSTie ep would be getting posted faster if the ep wasn't so boring!

Remmy <off his friends' skeptical looks> : "I sense her. She's growing stronger."

Recall317: <mimicking Yoda> : The force is strong in this one.

SL4: Recall! Have a seat. You're the last winner that hasn't already been in here.

HTWD: He also just won a spot on TWIWTA, this is his week!

R317: Well, if you say so. But I won THIS appearance about a month or two ago!

<Remmy moves on. When he is out of earshot ...> Diana: "What the hell are we doing here?"

SL4: That's a question I've been asking myself for this entire ep.

Mallory: "Considering how far we've gotten, I'd call it beating the odds."

TBH: How far have you gotten??? You've gone through a couple warehouse rooms and you've bored us to tears.

Maggie: "I'd like the odds better if I had a nice AR-15 and a couple full bandoleers."

HTWD: A band o' leers? Is that a collective noun?

SL4: I'm guessing Maggie receives twenty or thirty bands a day.

Mallory: "Maybe there's something in here that can help."

R317: The only thing that can help is if you climb into the crate and close the lid!

<Mallory opens one of the crates and peers in. He sees a human head floating in a fishbowl. Electrodes are drilled into the bare skull.>

Mallory: "Guess not."

SL4: LOL! Enjoy this, this is the ONLY amusing Mallory moment in the entire series. Though it's been over a year since I saw the ep, so this bit probably didn't even make the final cut.

<The Sliders are standing together in the sinister chamber, eyeing the shadowy receptacles.>

Diana: "My God, what's going on here?"

TBH: Diana is really in tune with the audience. She keeps saying what I'm thinking.

Remmy: "Kromagg science. The things these guys do would make Frankenstein lose his lunch."

HTWD: The Mel Brooks Frankenstein, maybe. But Mary Shelley's Frankenstein doctor OR monster would have EATEN these Kromaggs and their science for lunch! >:-#

Maggie: "Is this what happened in the camps?"

R317: Look, WE KNOW Remmy was in the Kromagg camps!!!!!!!! WE KNOW! WE KNOW!!!!!!!! Jesus God Almighty we know!!!!!!!! If we didn't know, we sure as >:-# would after seeing this ep!

Remmy: "No. It was pretty bad, but it looks like they've taken things to another level."

SL4: 'Taken things to another level.' Someone inform Rudy Martke we have a new member of the 'all cliché' team.

Maggie: "What if Wade's in one of those things?"

TBH: <mimicking HTWD> : Then we'll play 'fetch the head!'

HTWD: Hey! You can't imitate one of us!

R317: Yes he can. I thought that was a pretty good imitation of you.

Remmy: "She's not."

HTWD: She's in one just like it down the hall.

Remmy <looking towards the darkness> : "She's down there."

R317: From a lounge singer to a psychic in 90 eps! Follow every twist and turn of Season Five Sliders!

<The Sliders follow him as he leads them into the darkness>

SL4: I hope he leads them to a kitchen soon. Being bored makes me hungry.

<A door open ahead of them and an armed Kromagg enters the room. The Sliders flatten against a wall in the darkness but as he approaches it is obvious he'll see them in a second.>

TBH: Oh goody! Something's finally going to happen!

<As the guard gets closer an alarm suddenly beeps. The guard checks a readout on the wall and then returns the way he came and closes the door.>

TBH: >:-# Be still my beating heart. I don't know how much more of this excitement I can take.

<Remmy smiles as he leads them further along.>

Maggie: "What's so funny?"

HTWD: Your outfit. Your CD. Your 'acting' abilities. Your ...

Remmy: "Wade triggered the alarm."

ALL: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! ... Wait a minute! That's not funny!

Remmy <speaking into the air> : "I don't know how you did it, but nice work."

R317: I'll bet that Maggie is glad she has that tranquilizer right about now, as insane as he is acting.

<They reach a corner and peek around. Two guards stand in front of the portal to the main lab.>

Remmy: "Good news is, we're here. Bad news: so are the Maggs."

SL4: If you think THAT'S bad news, wait until you see Wade!

Maggie: "Allow me..."

TBH: I'll bet that's not the first time she's said THAT either.

<Maggie saunters around the corner and approaches the guards with a sexy walk.>

HTWD: Can whoever last used the sickness bag please pass it this way?

Maggie: "Is this where they're having the Veteran's smoker?"

TBH: <mimicking a Kromagg guard> : No, this is where we're eating slut eyes. I see you're right on time. :-P

Maggie: "I'm one of the dancers."

R317: In that case, if we give you a dollar, will you get the >:-# out of here?

<The guards start towards her. Maggie backtracks, leading them past where the others are hiding>

SL4: I guess the guards aren't allowed to use their weapons. Instead they'll follow her like puppets.

<Remmy and Mallory come out to confront the guards.>

Remmy: "Yo, Magg!"

TBH: <mimicking Maggie> : What?

<Remmy and Mallory hit the guards with a couple haymakers, but it is not enough to bring them down and a serious fight ensues.>

HTWD: Fight choreography by the producers of the 60's Batman television series.

<The Maggs manage to draw their blasters and one of them fires a bolt that just misses Mallory and blows a hole in the wall.>

R317: Aw, man! He missed Mallory!

<One of the guards breaks free and lunges for a wall alarm, activating it, before Maggie hits him with a flying kick.>

SL4: Boy, that special effects is something, isn't it? If they can make a kitten like Kari Wuhrer seem at all dangerous, they can make you believe anything!

Remmy: "Wade! Can you get the door?"

TBH: <mimicking Wade> : No! I need a hand!

<The door slides open. The Sliders grab the Maggs' weapons and rush into the main lab. The door slides closed behind them.>

HTWD: Wade! This is a bathroom! D'oh!

<The Sliders approach Wade from her POV>

Remmy: "Wade?"

R317: You were expecting maybe Arturo?

Maggie: "Oh my God..."

SL4: It's about time you start addressing Wade more respectfully! :-P

<POV change to show Wade's head bobbing in a fishbowl. A goldfish swims in and out of her mouth before ducking down to hide in a toy castle at the bottom of the fishbowl.>

TBH: Someone needs his >:-# whipped for this.

SL4: Amen. >:-#

Maggie: "She's alive?"

HTWD: I imagine that Marge Schott hears that question a lot as well.

Remmy: "Haven't you been listening to me?"

R317: Oh, she listened to you! She just thought you were a drooling, gibbering, madman.

<Maggie pulls out the dart kit and hands it to Remmy. He takes it with a hurt look.>

SL4: I see how it is, >:-# ! See if I ever turn my back on you again!

Maggie: "I'm sorry I doubted you."

TBH: <mimicking Remmy> : You can show me how sorry you really are by climbing in the fishbowl and pretending you're Wade so they won't notice she's missing until after we get away with the head.

<The doorway across the room fills with Kromagg guards. They rush in and take the Sliders captive while Mallory and Diana just stand there holding their captured weapons.>

HTWD: Those two are about as good at watching your back as Scooby and Shaggy.

Remmy: "What have you done to her?"

R317: Isn't it obvious? I know you don't have a PHD like Diana, but do we need to spell it out for you?

<The guards seize his arms to keep him from throwing himself on someone.>

Remmy: "Let her go, you filthy Maggs!"

TBH: <mimicking Kromaggs> : Oh, okay. Since you asked, here you go.

<Remmy breaks a hand free and slams a guard against a bulkhead. There is a brief scuffle but the Sliders are all subdued. Their weapons, the paddle, and the timer are all taken from them.>

R317: This is the saddest rescue mission since Mission to Mars.

Captain Kesh <after a guard hands her the timer> : "Transdimensional travelers. You are no doubt aware that it is illegal for humans to utilize this technology."

SL4: I don't care how many big words you use, no one with a grill as nasty as yours could possibly be intelligent.

Maggie: "Write us a ticket."

TBH: Leave the lame 'jokes' to Mallory before you hurt yourself.

R317: <getting up> : Well, I'm outta here. Just one more thing before I go. http://slidersweb.net/otherworlds/317/index.htm !!!!!!!

SL4: You are a horrid human being! I like that about you! :-P

<Kesh makes a gesture and a guard slaps Maggie. Then, with a smile, Kesh crosses the room and adjusts a dial on Wade's fishbowl.>

TBH: <mimicking Kesh> : Can't let the water get too cold. The fish die.

Wade <in a fading voice> : "Remmy..."

HTWD: ... can you feed the fish? I hate it when they nibble on my ears.

Remmy: "No! Wade..."

SL4: ... I don't have any fish food on me!

Maggie: "What's wrong?"

TBH: Her @*$*%)(@%*(%&@*&$(*)(#)@(#(&%$*@&^% head is cut off and you're asking 'what's wrong' ???????????????????? You really are as dumb as Tom Green's toenail clippings, aren't you?

Remmy: "She's gone."

HTWD: Yeah, we've noticed Remmy. For over a season and a half now. It's about time you noticed.

Kesh: "Just a slight increase in voltage in her cerebellum electric field and she becomes more ... compliant."

SL4: Talk like Diana all you want to. All I see when I look at you is someone who doesn't have sense enough to brush her teeth.

Kesh: "Only now did we figure out that she was leading you here. That she was able to displace you dimensionally to this world."

TBH: That's what you remade her to do, you insipid moron! How could you not realize she was able to do that??????

Mallory: "So Wade did create those wormholes."

SL4: We've reached the next Riff-It-Yourself line! Even if you've won before, take a crack at this incredibly astute observation by Mallory. :-P~~~~~~~~~~~