SL4: Oh, it's this whole tourney thing. I can see now that SpaceTime paid off Brand_S to make the ToFGaL disappear. If the tourney continued then SpaceTime would have been exposed as the panty wearing punk we all know he really is. The only graceful way out was to have it disappear and fade into the past.

HTWD: So what? Ten years from now would you even remember if the tourney had continued?

SL4: Ten years from now I'm going to be MSTing "Sliders: The Next Generation," so no, I won't care. But I care now. I had it all planned out. I was going to spank RMScream like a red headed stepchild in the second round, mop the floor with SpaceTime in the championship round and win the title. I was going to sweeten the pot with SpaceTime by making a side wager with him. The loser of that round would have to host the winner's hideous fan fiction on his own site. For me to host SpaceTime's unreadable drivel on my site would be a pain I would never forget, and I'm sure he would feel the same about hosting mine. So that would have made it more interesting.

TBH: I guess. This is assuming SpaceTime would even have the balls to take the wager and that he wouldn't welsh when he lost, of course.

SL4: Oh, and remember that the tourney winner was going to get the boon of being able to challenge one of the judges to a 24 hour flaming cage match. I was still debating which judge I would challenge and subsequently incinerate. I was leaning towards dellyone but DMD might have been interesting as well. I probably would have gone with delly though. :-P

TBH: It would have been a beautiful thing. They would have written songs about your dominating victories.

HTWD: Conquest! To rule! Finally! To rule!

TBH: Fairies would have appeared and donned your head with flower crowns.

HTWD: Alexander the Great would have been spinning in his grave!

SL4: I know! I have all these urges to crush people's skulls to powder under my steel toed boots in a flaming arena and no way to express those urges now. Let's face it, flame tourneys don't grow on trees.

TBH: The dingoes would have come out of the Outback and staged parades in your honor.

<The other two stare at him wordlessly.>

TBH: I'm sorry. The momentum carried me. Forget the bit about the dingoes.

<SL4 sighs wistfully.>

HTWD: Well, you might as well stop crying because there is nothing you can do about it. You don't own the ToFGaL. It's trademarked, you'd get the stuffing sued out of you.

SL4: What if I started my own league? The XoFGaL?

TBH: Do you have mostly naked cheerleaders too gorgeous to work for Hooters?

SL4: Um, no.

TBH: Do you have THE ROCK?

SL4: Sadly, no.

HTWD: Then you don't have a XoFGaL!

SL4: <opening the freezer> : Oh well, there's always chocolate covered frozen banana pops! :-P~~~~~~~~~~~~

Requiem - Part III

Remmy: "Hey, I was gone. I don't know how or where, but I sure wasn't here."

SL4: As gone as you were, you'll never be as far gone as Peckinballs.

Remmy: "And I think there was someone there with me."

TBH: Oh God, not this about the 7 foot tall rabbit again. You need help, Remmy!

Maggie: "Remmy, at one point, it sounded like you were talking to ... Wade?"

HTWD: He was trying to get her out of her trailer. Think maybe you could stop pissing her off so we can get this ep finished?

Diana: "Maggie told us about her."

SL4: NOW she tells you guys! >:-#

Diana: "The friend you lost to the Kromaggs."

TBH: <mimicking Remmy> : What are you explaining to ME for? I remember who Wade is!

Remmy: "I saw her, I think."

HTWD: It was hard to tell if it was her for sure with all the goldfish swimming past her face.

Remmy: "I saw a lot of things. Couldn't straighten out the other images though. It was crazy."

SL4: How did the film editor's memo to Peckinbals get into the script?

Remmy: "You think I'm going nuts?"

TBH: No! Of course not! Now put this white vest on. That's the sport.

Maggie, Diana, Mallory: "No. We don't."

HTWD: Interesting. The three of them together still don't emote the acting range of one JRD.

Remmy: "Yeah, but I'm telling you I was someplace else."

SL4: OKAY! You were someplace else but they don't believe you! WE GET IT! God, could this be any more tedious?

Maggie: "Why don't you get some sleep."

TBH: Because when you snore you sound like a pig being strangled and having sex at the same time.

Maggie: "We should all do that."

TBH: NO, we shouldn't all snore like that or we'd get thrown out of every hotel we stayed in!

Maggie <checks timer> : "We Slide at daybreak."

HTWD: Oh, and by the way, SNATCH! Give me that timer! Who the >:-# left YOU in charge of it anyway???

Remmy: "Must have been the bad air."

SL4: That's the last time I have cabbage, beans, AND radishes in the same meal.

Maggie: "You're probably right."

TBH: <mimicking Maggie> : Especially since you're going along with my theory. :-D

<scene change. The sliders are sleeping near the tree. Suddenly a blast of wind and an off screen flash of vortex light appears.>

HTWD: I love it when they're too cheap to show the vortex so they fire up a klieg light off camera.

SL4: Now wait a smegging minute! The script says this: "Remmy looks up and sees a strange misshapen, not our usual vortex. It's not circular, more like a RIPPLING CURTAIN OF ENERGY. And, unlike our normal vortex, there is no wind but an eerie high pitched whine." But the paragraph right above it says "suddenly a blast of wind and the O.S. FLASH OF THE VORTEX lights up the scene." So which is it??? Is there a :-#-ing wind or not???? And why can't the scriptwriter keep it straight from one paragraph to the very next one down?????? I can see a couple pages later, though that is still sloppy. But the next paragraph?????

<Remmy looks around and realizes he's the only one awake.> : "Hey guys, wake up!"

TBH: <sleepy voice> : No way! This is the only way out of this horrid ep! Sleep can be self-defense!

<The vortex curtain vanishes. The others begin to wake up, too late to see it.>

HTWD: I thought we were getting the return of Wade! Instead we're trapped in a Alfred Hitchcock every-coincidence-is-designed-to-make-everyone-think-you're-insane ripoff.

Remmy: "What the hell is going on?"

SL4: That's our reaction during every season five ep, Remmy. Then after it's over that changes to 'what the hell happened?'

Mallory: "What's wrong?"

TBH: Your alleged 'wit' is about as amusing as "Suddenly Susan" was, for one thing.

Remmy: "We just missed the Slide!"

SL4: Um, Remmy? The vortex doesn't suddenly appear on it's own when it's time. Try again.

TBH: Since when have they bothered with continuity?

SL4: You're right. Never mind.

Maggie: "What are you talking about? We've still got 45 minutes."

HTWD: WHAT IS SHE *STILL* DOING WITH THE TIMER!!! ***!!!SNATCH!!!*** What morons in their right minds would leave the timer with someone dumber than W. Bush on CRACK at 3 in the morning watching that Jamaican psychic woman on TV???

Remmy: "Are you sure?"

TBH: I'm with you, Remmy. I'm not convinced she can correctly interpret a digital readout.

Remmy: "I just saw a vortex open. Maybe you triggered the timer in your sleep. Rolled over on it or something."

Blinker: <from the hallway> : Um, excuse me, Professor Remmy, but if you could open the vortex any time you want to, why are you waiting for the timer to count down????????????? <muttering as he closes the door> Where are the Continuity Police when you need them?

Diana: "We're fine Remmy, it was a dream."

SL4: I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not comforted a bit by Miss Hawking's assurances.

Remmy: "Yeah, that's it. Must have been."

TBH: Good boy! Cover the madness! Cover it well! A lunatic good at duplicity can live among us for years before his madness is exposed.

<The other three exchange looks and then start getting up to get ready for the day.>

HTWD: I'm scared. I don't see nary a one of them pulling out a toothbrush. :-O Or even one of those doggie dental hygiene treats.

TBH: All graduates of the Survivor School of Hygiene.

<Scene change, the Sliders appear from above and land on a hotel bed together.>

SL4: Woo Hoo! The Sliders ep we've been waiting for! All four of them in bed! :-P~~~~~~~~~~~

TBH: I want to see some proof that they scrape something across their teeth after they wake up before I see any of them having sex. Blech.

Mallory: "Wow!"

Diana: "We Slid right into the hotel."

TBH: Better make sure it's not the Presidential Suite before you get too happy.

Maggie: "This hasn't happened before. I mean, we fell into a closet once-"

HTWD: Gasp! A reference to a past ep! This is the first hard proof that the scriptwriter has actually seen a Sliders ep before!

Maggie: "-but this is what I call room service."

SL4: Hee hee, I get it! Very funny, Maggie!

Mallory: "Maybe-"

TBH: RUN!!! Mallory has to top what Maggie just said! HE'S ABOUT TO TELL A "JOKE"!!!

<SL4, HTWD, and TBH dive for the floor and cover their ears with sandbags>

Mallory: "we're Inter-Dimensional Preferred Customers. Least they could do."

<SL4, HTWD, and TBH rise slowly, ears perking up like deer at a water hole.>

SL4: Is it safe? Has his "wit" urge been sated for the moment?

TBH: Unfortunately I didn't cover my ears in time. I heard it. <reaches for barf bag> I'll be back in a minute.