Mallory: "What's wrong with him?"

SL4: He suffered total mental shutdown trying to figure out why "Everybody Loves Raymond" is the highest rated sitcom.

Diana: "I don't know. I'm not that kind of doctor."

TBH: I'm the kind of doctor who sits around all day answering those 4 out of 5 doctor surveys.

Mallory <shaking Remmy> : "Rembrandt! Come on guy!"

HTWD: Tell him you have a hot gig for him singing the national anthem for an XFL game. That'll rouse him.

Maggie: "That's not going to help."

SL4: Well, sing about flowers, that'll help.

TBH: Don't encourage her!

Diana: "It looks like he's in some kind of trance."

TBH: Really? What was your first clue, Einstein?

Mallory: "Then give him a few minutes. Maybe he'll snap out of it on his own."

HTWD: Don't you love these proactive heroes? I can just imagine John Wayne saying, "well pilgrim, let's hunker down and wait and see if the problem solves itself."

<Remmy suddenly stands and reaches out imploringly, then he collapses into Mallory's arms.>

Mallory: "That's not exactly what I meant."

SL4: Ah yes. That razor sharp Mallory wit I've been hearing so much about.

<scene change. The Sliders have moved Remmy under a tree. Mallory has produced a canteen.>

TBH: Here's some moonshine to take the edge off the flower hangover.

Mallory: "This might help."

HTWD: Well, that could apply to a lot of things, couldn't it? A pillow and $5 whore MIGHT help. Then again they might not.

Maggie: "I guess that last world really got to him. Had to be the air."

SL4: I'll tell you what, Maggie. You stop trying to give medical diagnoses and I promise to never record a bubble gum pop album.

Diana: "Then why weren't we affected?"

TBH: Maybe because cardboard characters don't really need to breathe air?

Maggie: "Maybe we were. Maybe we just don't know it yet."

HTWD: They have a point. All three of them are so stupid it might take them a while to notice falling into a catatonic state.

TBH: It'd also take a while for anyone else to notice they had. I mean, how could you tell?

Diana: "I feel fine."

SL4: You look fine too, baby. Somebody turn on a Britney Spears song and let's see her boogie.

Maggie: "What worries me is that he called out for Wade."

TBH: <mimicking Maggie> : I thought I had cured him of calling out for that tramp. I'm going to have to start potty punishing him again!

Maggie: "He's been carrying a huge guilt about her for more than a year."

HTWD: "He's been carrying a huge guilt about her" ????? I know that we're never going to see Maggie at a Mensa meeting, but she sounds like a slow three year old when she talks like this.

Maggie: "I hope this is not some kind of emotional breakdown because of that."

SL4: Being in therapy for the past six years in an effort to get over your self loathing does NOT make you an expert in psychiatry, Maggie.

Mallory: "Look, I'm no expert."

TBH: REALLY??????????? <collapses in shock.>

SL4: Timmy? TIMMY! He's in a shock induced coma, Henry.

Torch: <voice of Sabrina Lloyd> : That's okay. The story is between turns so I can sit in for a little bit.

HTWD: Wow. Wouldn't it be ironic to have the voice of Sabrina Lloyd riffing this particular ep? Sure! You can join in!

Mallory: "But he's been Sliding longer than any of us. Maybe it's some kind of side effect."

Torch: Is another side effect becoming insufferable, or have you always been that way?

Maggie: "You mean it might be possible to get sick from Sliding too much?"

SL4: Maybe he just saw you practicing "Tight Socks" ... your next bar routine for the next time you guys need money. That could have made him ill.

Diana: "Well,"

Torch: Oh. My. God. Who authorized one of them to set her up for an incomprehensible I-Really-Do-Have-A-PhD 'explanation' ?

Diana: "when you consider that Rembrandt, and now all of us, are subject to constantly shifting realities ... well, there's got to be a heavy mental and physical price for that."

SL4: What is she babbling about?? These are alternate WORLDS, not alternate realities! Realitywise, it's no different than going to Belgium ... well, okay, THAT'S an alternate reality. The only possible physical toll would be the wormhole itself. But once you get there what difference would it make to your mind or body which world you're on?

HTWD: If you were on No PIE world it would make a BIG difference to your mind and body!

SL4: Touché.

<Maggie glares at Diana.>

Diana <shrugging> : "Just a theory."

Torch: I'll bet I know who the teacher's pet was in every class she was in!

<Remmy begins to stir> Maggie: "Remmy, are you okay?"

HTWD: He'll be fine. Just wave a Monster Ear in front of his nose, that'll rouse him.

Torch: A what?

HTWD: You might know it as a Bear Claw. No? Go to a carnival once in your life!

<Remmy opens his eyes and stares around in confusion.>

SL4: Man, that was sooooooome night! I'll never try to drink Teddy Kennedy under the table again! Whew! The man is a fish!

Remmy: "I'm back? Man am I glad to see you guys!"

Torch: He must be still drunk if he's glad to see any of them!

TBH: <raises his head slowly> : Man, I'm back too! Jesus, what a shock. I've never been so surprised in my life! It was too much for me. Next thing I'll hear is that Clinton is a lecherous lying hillbilly or that Bush is an incompetent dumbass.

SL4: Um ...

Torch: I'm outta here guys, HK has done the preamble and is going to do his bit soon. Later!

TBH: Thanks for keeping the seat warm. Ha ha ha ha ha!!

<a burst of flame shoots out and crisps one of TBH's arms.>

Torch: Another lame one like that and I'll give you the permanent bald look!

Mallory: "How can you be back? You never left."

TBH: <rubbing his arm> : But you're no expert so maybe you should get a second opinion on whether he did or not!