SL4: Which is a nice way of saying that they stared at the timer, watching it tick down to nothing like ineffectual morons.

Dr. Whelan: "How did that make you feel?"

TBH: Like strangling you if you ask me one more stupid stereotypical therapist question!

Dr. Whelan: "That expression of loyalty."

HTWD: Don't talk to me about loyalty, DOCTOR. I'm a DOG! I know all about loyalty! I gave my family a smegging YEAR of abject loyalty and what did I get in return??? They told me we were going to the park! Were we going to the park? >:-# NO!! I was taken to a waiting room, drugged, and then I woke up with my pants down around my ankles, my face in the spit cup, and my F-ing >:-#s snipped off! THAT'S HOW THEY RETURNED MY LOYALTY!

Remmy: "It made me take stock of things, that's for sure. They're my real friends. Not like certain Topps I could name."

SL4: Get real. Friends already have an inclination to stab you in the back at the first opportunity. Why in hell would you go into business with a friend???

<An intercom buzzes.> Miss Jennings: "Sorry to interrupt your session, doctor. I'm wondering if you need anything before I go."

TBH: Yeah, put on that lacy outfit and prance through here one time. And make sure that you have the peacock feather this time!

Remmy: "Look at the time. I'm supposed to meet my friends at six-thirty in the lobby so we could Slide out of here."

HTWD: Then we just have the small matter of my bill. You've been in here boring me for six hours. That will be $125,000. And I'm sorry, but it's our policy to not take checks from Sliders.

Dr. Whelan: "But we're not finished. I would hate to stop our work mid-narrative, just when we're making so much progress."

SL4: Is it unethical for a person who charges $150 to $300 an hour to coax you to stay longer?

Remmy: "True, I do feel a little better."

TBH: I'm not surprised. As swelled up as your head has been, a head-shrink was the best person you could see!

Dr. Whelan: "Of course you do. Excuse me a moment."

HTWD: You're going out there to make fun of me and call the men with the butterfly nets, aren't you doc?

SL4: Never let the doctor you've been talking crazy to go out of your sight for a minute!

<Whelan leaves the office and closes the door behind him. Miss Jennings looks up.> Dr. Whelan: "Call Gate Haven Hospital."

TBH: Any resemblance to the website of the same name is purely intentional.

Dr. Whelan: "Have them send a team. This is the most extraordinary case of florid, off the wall dementia I've ever experienced."

SL4: ... since the time I had Executive in here.

Whelan: "The details of his fantasy life make Freud Wolfman look like a high functioning neurotic.

TBH: <mimicking Wolfman Jack> : This is Freud Wolfman Jack coming to you LIVE over the airwaves! Tonight we're going to talk about dreaming about the Washington Monument and how gay that makes you. Then we'll talk about dreams about mashed potatoes ... they're not just about secretly wanting to have sex with your boss anymore!

Whelan: "Hurry! I don't know how long I can hold him."

HTWD: Ahhhhhhh. He wants to hold Remmy. Now that's my kind of therapy! Group hug everybody! :-P

Dr. Whelan <rejoining Remmy.> : "Sorry, minor housekeeping. Where were we?"

SL4: I was just leaving. If you can't afford to hire someone to vacuum your floors and clean your bathrooms, then you must suck. Goodbye.

<Scene change to Quinn and Wade joining Remmy, who bailed them out of jail.> Remmy: "... so after the Topps pulled out and hit me with an injunction, I got ahold of some of the sheet music. On this world those leeches actually shared credit on some of my music."

TBH: Nothing says "YOU'RE NOT HOME, YOU CLUELESS MENDICANT" to Remmy like someone crowding his song credit action.

Wade: "On this world?"

HTWD: Well, he wasn't talking about Pluto, Miss Hawking.

Remmy: "Damn skippy."

SL4: I couldn't agree more. Though I prefer the Peter Pan brand myself.

Remmy: "That's when I realized that Q-Ball was right all along. Those losers couldn't write for Barney!"

TBH: Man, if you can't write a lame Barney song then you need to pick up a shovel and start digging ditches.

Quinn: "Taxi!"

HTWD: Cheers!

TBH: All in the Family!

Wade: "Where are we headed?"

SL4: In the TV series graveyard if Peckinballs gets ahold of us.

Quinn: "We're getting the timer back."

TBH: Or to get some Ben and Jerrys, I haven't made up my mind yet.

<scene change to a window breaking. A hand snakes through the window and unlocks the door.>

HTWD: I see that the Professor employed the same security agency that "protected" Los Alamos.

Wade: "Are you sure this is a good idea? We're breaking into the Professor's house."

SL4: No >:-#??? They would have never known whose house they went to and broke into. So why exactly are you a master of the obvious this episode?

Quinn: "Yeah, well, he broke into mine first."

TBH: I like his logic. Speaking of Peckinballs, let's go over to his house and take a >:-# on something he holds near and dear. I hope to GOD he has an original Picasso or something.

<scene change to the Sliders rifling through his office.> Remmy: "Nothing but science journals and research books."

HTWD: Ooooo, any dream journals? We can call into Freud Wolfman Jack's show and have him interpret them. I hope he dreamed of dolphins. Hee hee.

Wade <holding up a pair of glasses> : "Hey, I didn't know the Professor wore bi-focals."

SL4: Clue #135,000 ... totally ignored.

Quinn: "Guys, c'mon. We're not taking inventory here."

TBH: Why not? There has GOT to be something there you could use for blackmail! A porcelain Disney knick knack, a Barbara Streisand concert ticket ... anything that could be used to disgrace him!

<there is a slight tapping sound> Remmy: "You hear something?"

HTWD: You mean something that sounds like a man, bound like a hog ripe for the slaughter, in the basement, sobbing? Nope.

Wade: "Sounds like it's coming from the basement."

SL4: Wait a minute! I've seen all the horror movies! This is the way they always start! A sound in the basement!

<they approach a heating grate> Wade: "Mice?"

TBH: Oh please. The only sound mice make is an evil chuckle as they pee in your box of cornflakes.

Quinn: "Pretty big mice."

HTWD: Live, in San Francisco! It's Mice On Steroids!

Arturo <from below> : "Mr. Mallory? Is that you?"

SL4: Mmmmm, could be. How much money do you have on you?

Quinn: "Professor?"

HTWD: No, I'm the Maytag repairman. Of course I'm the Professor!!

<scene change to the Sliders coming down the basement stairs.> Remmy: "Professor? What are you doing down here?"

TBH: I'll let Arturo take this one, though he SHOULD be chastised TWICE for so stupid a question.

Arturo: "Having a tea party!"

HTWD: Heeeere's your sign.

Arturo: "What does it look like I'm doing? My insane double and his devious assistant have had me chained down here since Monday week."

TBH: I don't even want to think about what he smells like, then.

Quinn: "I knew it."

SL4: That's easy to say now, genius. The time to look like a smartypants is BEFORE the key plot twist is revealed.

Arturo: "There's a hammer on the workbench! Hurry!"

HTWD: Not so fast, sport. While you're tied up, what was that >:-# you said about my cooking last week???

Remmy: "His double? I thought the doubles were off Sliding."

TBH: Sliding requires some modicum of backbone, which only three of the doubles possessed on this world.

Arturo: "Apparently not. On this world, my counterpart chickened out at the last minute and missed the Slide."

SL4: I think he's more pissed off about this than about being kidnapped and held for two weeks.

Arturo: "He's been off on sabbatical in Grass Valley, trying to crack the equation so as to take credit for it."

HTWD: And smoking grass. They didn't get their name because of their lawns, you know!