SS: "Rembrandt, we've been thinking…"

SL4: This is NEVER the first thing you want to hear from your underlings.

Remmy: "That's your first mistake. What's there to think about? Just stay in the background and everything'll be fine."

HTWD: "How to win friends and influence people," a five week course taught by that motivation genius, Rembrandt Brown.

SS: "If we're gonna kick off this gig with 'Cry Like a Man' some changes gotta take place."

TBH: We want to wear those hilarious ball caps with the propeller on top. Hee hee.

LRH: "Yeah, changes."

TBH: <mimicking LRH> : Duhhhh, Sebastian is my hero. I'll cosign anything he says.

SS: "You plan on crying, like always?"

TBH: <mimicking LRH> : Duhhhhhh, good question! That's a brilliant question that cuts right to the heart of the matter.

Remmy: "Of course. Fans would riot if I skimped on the tears."

SL4: I'll tell ya! I want my R & B singers to remind me as much of Richard Simmons as possible!!!

SS: "Well, if you're gonna cry, we're gonna cry too."

HTWD: I'm sure the fans 50 rows back give a rat's rump about whether you squeeze your >:-#s to produce tears at the appropriate moments. Why don't you invest your time and energy into finding some kind of way to be less dorkwads.

LRH: "That's right! Why should you be the only guy weeping? We get just as sad as you do!"

TBH: <mimicking LRH> : Like the time you wouldn't let me follow you around and cosign what you say when you went on that date. I was devastated!

Artie: "Um, Rembrandt? Somebody named Quinn Mallory's on the phone. He says it's important."

SL4: "Someone named ..." Okay, Artie's not the sharpest needle in the knitting circle, and I doubt he watches the news much, but the combined publicity generated by Arturo, Wade, and Remmy himself has GOT to have created some awareness of Quinn. Artie's acting like it was Simon Goldthwat who called.

Remmy: "Take a message."

HTWD: I specifically told you that the only person I wanted to hear from was Casanova Frankenstein. No messages from anyone else!

Remmy: "Listen, I'M the Crying Man. You're the Second Bananas. That's the natural order of things. If you all start crying it'll confuse the audience."

TBH: I think that statement says more about his fans than I could do in 100 riffs.

SS: "We cry or we walk. Simple as that."

SL4: Even a five year old can cry and walk at the same time. What's wrong with these guys???

<scene change to Quinn and Wade>

Wade: "I don't understand. Why wouldn't he take your call?"

HTWD: I'm sure it has nothing to do with Quinn's interminable obsession with not being home, his endless tedious proofs, or his condemning of Remmy selling out.

Quinn: "We'll worry about Rembrandt once we get the timer."

TBH: Yeah! See, if we took him with us now, there'd be no one to bail us out of jail. We'd rot there until a bondsman finally agreed to meet us, long after the timer ran out.

Quinn <holding up a fishing pole> : "There it is…"

SL4: I once caught a 17 pound boot with this sucker. <pauses> It was a stagnant lake, we took what we could get.

Wade: "What's that thing?"

HTWD: It's called a fishing pole. You don't get out much, do you?

Quinn: "It's called a pocket fisherman."

TBH: HEY, hey, hey!!! NO talk of pocket fishing! This is a family show!

Quinn: "My Dad gave it to me when I was a kid. My double's Dad, in this case."

SL4: Nice to see my double's Dad was as hideous at gift giving as mine was.

Wade: "What good's it gonna do?"

HTWD: Fishing reduces stress, sweetie. Especially when you bring along peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. :-P

Quinn: "It's gonna get us home."

TBH: I'm gonna catch a Slide Fish with it. It'll swim us back to our home world! As long as the line doesn't break.

<scene change to the museum at night.> Guard: "First floor clear. Alarms set."

SL4: One more thing, is the hot light on at the donut shoppe across the street yet?

Quinn <with fishing rod ready> : "It needs more weight."

HTWD: Ask Arturo, he might have some.

Quinn: "Your necklace. Let me have it."

TBH: No need to be such a bossy cow, sport. A please would be nice.

Wade: "Penny Marshall gave me that when we closed her directing deal."

SL4: Be glad that's ALL she gave you. :-P~~

<Quinn weighs the fishing line and lowers it down through a ceiling window until it intercepts one of the motion sensors in front of a display case.>

HTWD: So that defeats the motion sensors, what about the alarms on the ceiling window?

Quinn: "Three more false alarms and they'll be ripping the alarms systems out of the walls."

TBH: This would be an even better idea if he'd dangle a hot donut. The smell would drive them crazy and they might abandon their posts.

<The alarm goes off.> Guard <into his radio> : "I don't know what the problem is, Ted. It's three times now. Shut the damn thing down and call the alarm company."

SL4: If you think that's best, Frankie. But you know that every time we shut the alarms off, William goes back and sleeps on the stuffed panda.

Quinn <after the guard has left.> : "Come on."

<They make it to the timer display case> Quinn: "It's at thirty seconds! I must have timed the countdown wrong!"

HTWD: Which wire am I supposed to cut??? The red one or the green one???

Wade: "What?"

TBH: HE SAID QUIT TAKING LOSER TV JOBS AND GET BACK INTO MOVIES WHERE YOU BELONG!!!!

<Quinn rips the plexiglass cover off. Alarms sound.> Wade: "We tripped another alarm!"

SL4: Boy, she's right on the stick today. How did she ever figure that out?

<Quinn grabs the timer and they run>

<The two run down the stairs, several guards in hot pursuit.> Wade: "We can't Slide without the others!"

HTWD: Sure we can, we just hit the button and jump through the vortex!

Wade: "What are we gonna do?"

TBH: We're going to run around ineffectively while you ask shrill questions and I stare at the timer like a deer caught in the headlights.

Wade: "Quinn, we're gonna be stuck here."

SL4: An hour ago you were all for that, so get off my smegging back!

<Guards barrow in on them as the timer ticks down to zero. Quinn hesitates, and watches in confusion as the timer resets back to 24:00:00>

HTWD: D'oh!

Wade: "It reset? How can that happen?"

TBH: It happened because we were hoodwinked again by that lying dirtbag. The next time I see the Professor I'm gonna stuff his beard right up his-

Quinn: "It's a facsimile."

SL4: I feel so stupid. I should have realized when I saw the sports scores update button.

<The guards reach them as the scene fades out.>

TBH: <mimicking Quinn> : Um, can you tell us where the Titanic Exhibit is?

<The three rise and leave the theater.>

TBH: Okay, let's tally the votes for the next MSTing so far.

SL7ever: So far, the results are as follows:

HTWD: HEY!! You stuffed the ballot box!

TBH: Is that result counting pregnant chads? Because I don't believe in ballots having sex without protection.

SL7: I don't know what you're talking about.

SL4: <entering> : Hey guys, what's up?

TBH: It's another evil double! Jump him!

HTWD: Which one?

TBH: Oh, let's just trounce both of them, I'm too tired to think up some clever way to tell them apart, and even the real one deserves a trouncing for general purposes.

HTWD: I'm down with that. :-P~~~