SL4: As much in denial as you were, a herd of dancing clowns shouting "you're not home" wouldn't have registered.

Quinn: "Sometimes you don't see what's right in front of you."

HTWD: Especially if you're a sports referee.

Quinn: "It's going to be okay."

Wade: "How?"

TBH: You'll cash your million dollar check and we'll take the money with us in small bills.

Quinn: "We'll get the timer back. We'll Slide out of here and get home. I promise."

SL4: If I'm lying then have me mind melded with a nerdy loser.

Wade: "My mother on this world, my family ... it's so hard Quinn. They think their daughter's home safe."

HTWD: You don't have to tell them you're going Sliding. Tell them you're going to fly around the world with John Denver or see Europe with OJ Simpson or something if you don't want them to worry.

Quinn: "As hard as it is, just remember our real families are out there."

TBH: Unless an evil empire we've pissed off has taken over our world and killed them.

Quinn: "We've got to be strong, Wade. For their sake as well as our own."

SL4: And for the sake of all those little Sliders out there who look up to us.

Wade: "I'm sorry I didn't believe you, Quinn."

TBH: YOU SHOULD BE SORRY, MENDICANT! After the way you treated him, like his mountain of evidence wasn't enough to ... his one 15 year old schoolbook picture ... his asterisk ... his ... you're right. He was raving like a wino on melted Crisco. Never mind.

Wade: "We thought you were becoming unglued."

HTWD: Crazier than a muskrat on Diet Dr. Pepper, is what Remmy said.

Quinn: "Don't worry about it. C'mon, we've got work to do."

SL4: We only have 20 minutes left to unravel this ponderous plot.

<scene change to Quinn, Wade, and Arturo walking together. Arturo hands a postcard back to Quinn> Arturo: "A postcard of the Azure Gate Bridge. Available at any 7-11 in the city."

HTWD: Although I prefer to get a 88 ounce "Big Gulp" when I stop at 7-11.

Quinn: "You've known all along, haven't you?"

TBH: It's not any big secret where you can find postcards, Quinn. Duh.

Arturo: "Almost from the moment of our return."

SL4: I don't have a PHD or anything, but it's not really a "return" if you're showing up somewhere for the first time, is it, Professor?

Wade: "How could you put us through that?"

HTWD: I was having too much fun watching you and Remmy make total asses out of yourselves. Tee hee.

Quinn: "Because he was gonna be famous, that's why."

TBH: <mimicking Arturo> : Don't forget the cocktail weenies that will be at my disposal, ole bean. I'll be invited to every party in town for years.

Arturo: "On the contrary, fame was merely a by-product."

SL4: <slipping hip waders on> : You're right, it's getting pretty thick in here.

Arturo: "Be honest, were you not overjoyed to be reunited with your families? You wrote as much in your diary, Miss Welles. Are you really so eager to leave it all behind for God knows what?"

HTWD: That depends. Does she have any horrid in-laws? I might leave this world for God knows what if I had certain people in my family.

Arturo: "And you, Mr. Mallory, are you prepared to break your mother's heart again?"

TBH: <mimicking Quinn> : No, but I'm prepared to break your face, Judas.

Quinn: "She's not my mother."

SL4: Hey! He doesn't find that out until Genesis!

Quinn: "You took my timer. I want it back."

HTWD: Or what? I outweigh you by a ton, what are you gonna do?

Arturo: "I can't do that. It's on loan to the Museum of Science and Industry."

TBH: I thought you were a bigshot! Are you telling me a lowly museum curator won't let you have it back?

Wade: "On loan because you stole it."

SL4: He prefers to think of it as a reallocation of necessary resources.

Quinn: "Look, whether you Slide with us or not, I'm getting the timer and we're getting out of here tomorrow."

TBH: <mimicking Arturo> : What if I hid it in a place that even YOU would never think of looking, to say nothing of ever wanting to touch it again?

SL4: Eeeeeeeeew! That wasn't necessary!

TBH: I was just insinuating his dirty clothes hamper, what were you thinking?

SL4: Um, never mind.

Arturo: "You will do what you must. But so will I."

HTWD: Those are fighting words! Man, WHEN is Quinn going to get medieval on his buttocks??????

<Quinn and Wade leave Arturo>

Wade: "It's like I don't even know him anymore. How can you spend so much time with somebody and not know how much of a creep he is?"

SL4: I don't know, ask Drew Barrymore. She's engaged to that hideous Tom Green.

Quinn: "He's scared, Wade."

TBH: He's scared that if we keep Sliding we'll end up stuck on world that has never heard of butter.

Quinn: "He's accepted that we'll never get home, so why not settle for a close approximation of his old reality?"

HTWD: Why not? Because ANY world where the Jets can make the Super Bowl is far too scary a place for me!

Wade: "What if he's right?"

TBH: Here comes the downer.

Wade: "What if we never do get home?"

TBH: Then we can use your head for a door stop! But why get all negative when we need to get the timer back???

Quinn: "We can't think like that."

SL4: Instead let us join hands and sing inspiring songs about what lies just beyond the rainbow.

Quinn: "Your parents, your friends on this world … it's all a mirage. Our real families are still out there, Wade, we can't give up that hope."

TBH: I'm never going to give up hope if I have to get every last one of us killed!

Quinn: "Come on. We're gonna have our hands full with Rembrandt."

HTWD: He's been in a recording studio for days with just Artie and sycophants for company. His ego has been allowed to run unchecked! He IS going to be a handful!

<scene change to Remmy in Whelan's office.> Remmy: "Meanwhile, with all this going on, I had the tiger by the tail."

SL4: And ole Tony is really grumpy when he doesn't get a chance to eat his cereal!

Remmy: "The reissue of 'Cry Like a Man' was the fastest selling single in history, man."

TBH: <mimicking Remmy> : Except for that >:-#-ing Achy Smegging Heart song!! God I hate that one!

Remmy: "You try to keep perspective on something like that."

SL4: But it's hard because perspective requires some modicum of humility.

Remmy: "My agent booked me on MTV Unplugged."

HTWD: So I immediately fired him.

Dr. Whelan: "MTV Unplugged. Quite an honor."

TBH: Now I KNOW you're just humoring me! I was just testing you! Goodbye, "doctor"!!!

Remmy: "You'd think so right?"

SL4: Maybe you would if your career was as dead as the losers they get on that hideous program.

Remmy: "Only some scheduling genius had the notion of reuniting me with my old back-up singers."

HTWD: Which went about as successfully as the "reunion tour" the Supremes staged this year.

<scene change to Remmy's dressing room.> Remmy <to his make up artist> : "Make sure that's a waterproof base, I plan to do a lot of crying tonight."

TBH: I just saw how much Artie's office is billing me for phone calls. I won't need any help crying tonight.

Artie: "Remmy, the Topps want to have a word with you."

SL4: They said that if you don't fire your other backup group, the Carrots, the Topps are quitting.

Remmy: "What? All two of them?"

SL4: I don't know why, but this line strikes me as really funny. :-P

Artie: "We've been through all this. Maurice Fish says he won't appear on stage with you until you apologize."

HTWD: Or until you let him kidnap and torture you.

Remmy: "I'd call him a has been, but he's more like a never was."

TBH: Ho ha ho ha!!! <slaps knee> That's almost as old and as unfunny as our riffs!

Artie: "Forget Maurice. Two Topps are better than no Topps at all."

SL4: That's not entirely true. Two Topps are better than one Topp and a spider monkey. One Topp and a spider monkey are better than no Topps, and Yoko Ono is better than any combination of the above. But only if she's on acid.

Remmy: "And no Topps are better than two Topps."

HTWD: This is too much math for me. Let's switch channels to the interminable ballot counting coverage.

Remmy: "How'd I let you talk me into this?"

TBH: Don't you remember? You were in the hot tub with the Barbie Twins and you wanted to get rid of Artie however you could.