Arturo: "You're looking at a court martial, soldier, if you raise that weapon."

HTWD: Don't try this at home, folks.

<The soldiers lower their weapons and salute.>

TBH: These guards went to the "James Bond Movie Guard" training school.

Arturo: "The interior security of this building is scheduled for a surprise inspection. Under no circumstances allow anyone to follow us in. Open the doors!"

SL4: What do you think is going to happen to all these dimwitted guards?

TBH: The way they're waving everyone past them, they oughta become matadors after they get fired from this job.

<The rebels enter the college campus turned prison.> Arturo: "We used to promote free thinking in these halls."

HTWD: Free thinking as long as it was in accordance with what the individual professors believed and wanted to hear, that is.

Arturo: "Now we condemn it."

TBH: Along with sex in the dorm hallways.

<Wilkins, Doc, and several commandos pass by escorting disarmed guards.> Doc: "These boys'll wish they were sent to Siberia."

SL4: Or Cleveland.

Doc: "C'mon. Prisoners are being held over at the Vet Science building. Lower levels."

HTWD: Awwww, they're being held! I love touchy-feely imprisonment. :-P

Arturo <quietly to Quinn> : "That's where they kept the lab rats!"

TBH: Then the accommodations must be excellent.

<Scene change to Remmy in a cell with two other prisoners. A guard slides a dog bowl under the bars.> Guard: "Food coming through for the star of People's Court."

SL4: If I didn't know better I'd think he was being sarcastic.

Remmy <moving eagerly to accept the bowl until he sees what's in it, an aged onion and a puny radish.> : "What the hell's this? Dog chow?"

HTWD: HEY!! Where the smeg did you get the idea that dogs eat rabbit food??? Now if there was a nice medium rare steak and a twice-baked potato in it you could make that comment.

Prison Guard: "Bon appetit."

TBH: So we've got Russian guards in America speaking French. Oooookay.

<The guard laughs evilly but turns to find a rifle in his face.>

SL4: Speak either Russian or American or I'll blow your head off!

Rebel: "Open the cage."

HTWD: Remmy is just licking his chops over this one. "Who's eating the dog food now, BEEEE-ITCH???" < SMACK !!! >

<Remmy is freed and rushes to Arturo and Quinn.> : "Never thought I'd be happy to see you guys!"

TBH: Three seconds of freedom and he's already insulting them. I say give him another 24 hours in the gulag.

Remmy: "Hey ... where's the girl?"

SL4: She's with the Gold Watch and Everything, where did you think?

Quinn: "She's uh ... off. Looking for herself."

HTWD: Tell her to don't bother looking on ABC.

Remmy: "Huh?"

TBH: He said, "take an F-ing singing lesson!"

Arturo: "We'll explain later. Come on."

<Scene change to guard tower.> Sentry: "The Citizen General is home in bed."

SL4: Awwwww. Is it past the poor widdle general's bedtime???

Sentry: "Send for reinforcements and sound the alarm."

HTWD: Cuz we're gonna need someone to put out the fire we light under these >:-#-ers who fooled us and made us look like total mindless nitwits.

<Scene change to the rebels releasing prisoners from their cells. An alarm suddenly sounds.>

TBH: Smeg! At least one of the guards has half a brain cell!

Doc: "Trouble!"

SL4: Ya think?

Doc: "Get those trucks over here now! We're on our way!"

HTWD: We're just gonna TP the warden's office and then we can be off.

Quinn: "Wait! What about Wade?"

TBH: After seeing season four it seems odd to hear him say those words.

Doc: "She'll be okay. She's in the other building with Wilkins."

SL4: That's what I'm worried about! I saw them two kiss!

<Outside there is gunfire. The rebels are laying cover fire for the escaping prisoners and Sliders to make it to the truck.>

TBH: <mimicking Arturo> : This is just a drill, you blistering idiots! I had my valet tell you I was home to test you! Cease firing or I'll have you court-martialed!

<Remmy and Arturo make it to the cab of a truck. Quinn searches desperately for Wade.>

HTWD: Wade?! WADE!? Come on! If you come here I'll let you do that thing you asked me about once with the gravy and hot oil!

<Quinn finally spots Wade fleeing a building with Wilkins. Quinn rushes to Wade, takes her hand, and leads her to the cab where Remmy and Arturo are waiting.>

SL4: So she is just gonna leave her lover and go with this man she has never seen before? Well alrighty then.

TBH: Shhhh! You'll spoil the O. Henry shocker coming up.

SL4: If this hideous MSTing is someone's first exposure to the Pilot I feel sorry for them.

<Quinn and Wade leap to the truck driven by their friends as it starts to roll away while under Soviet fire. Quinn holds Wade tight as bullets riddle the truck.> Quinn: "Hold on! We're almost there!"

TBH: <Mimicking Wade> : Hold on, then? I'm glad you said something because I was getting ready to let go and fall from this speeding truck onto the hard pavement below.

<The truck crashes through a sentry gate and races out to the street, followed by the other rebel vehicles.>

HTWD: Um, this seems to be a little different than the version that aired.

TBH: Apparently their budget was blown by hair spray for JRD. A couple kegs of that stuff is EXPENSIVE!

Quinn <while clutching Wade to him> : "We made it. It's over ... We can all try to get home now..."

TBH: <mimicking Wade> : Two questions, zippy. First, who the smeg are you? Second, when are you going to notice that I'm dead?

<Wade doesn't respond. Quinn takes a closer look at her. Her skin is pale and she is barely breathing. He suddenly realizes that her shirt is covered with blood.>

SL4: Please tell me that you and Wilkins had to race through the kitchen on your way out and you crashed into a ketchup cart.

Quinn <holding her face in his hands> : "God, Wade – no! Don't die on me!"

HTWD: It's all about you, isn't it? Maybe, if it was within her power to "not die," she might want to do so for herself? Ever think of that, Arturo Jr.????

Quinn: "I – I never should've brought you here! It's my fault Wade. It's all my fault."

TBH: I hate to interrupt this self-indulgent guilt trip, but how about, oh, I don't know, DOING SOMETHING TO STOP THE FLOW OF BLOOD FROM HER RAPIDLY WEAKENING BODY????

Quinn: "Stop the truck! Stop!"

SL4: The only way I can suddenly see MY Wade is if we stop! Stop the truck!

<The truck has pulled over. Wade is laying on the grass and Arturo is frantically applying "resuscitation techniques" to try and keep her alive. Remmy and Quinn sit helplessly next to them.>

HTWD: "resuscitation techniques" ????

TBH: That's what the script says.

HTWD: I guess the writer figured he'd bring in some medical expert later to cover his ass on THAT one.

<The other trucks stop and Doc races over to them and takes over for Arturo.>

TBH: <mimicking Doc> : Is this a bad time to mention that I got my nickname due to my love for Doc Martens and not for any medical ability?

Doc: "Get back! Give me some room!"

SL4: My magic fingers needs some ROOM, people! Ow! :-P

<Remmy gets to his feet and pulls Quinn up with him.>

Wade <from offscreen> : "Quinn?"

HTWD: Can you hear me or is this one of those out-of-body experiences when you're dying I've heard about?

<Quinn turns and discovers his Wade walking towards him from the truck Doc had leaped from. Quinn rushes over and hugs her with all his might.>

TBH: <mimicking Wade> : Oooooo. I'm gonna have to kill me some doubles every time you start taking me for granted again. :-P

<Wade tries to peer ahead to the group of people surrounding the fallen Wade.> Quinn: "Don't look."

Wade: "But-."

Quinn: "TRUST me! Close your eyes."

SL4: Boy, it didn't take long for him to switch back to being a bossy cow, did it? Three seconds out of the grave and he's already telling her what to do.

Quinn: "I'm gonna get you home."

HTWD: Maybe not your entire body, but your head for sure!