John Fatten: Well, Sliders had a strong season last year, finishing 10-2, so there was high hopes coming into this season. They really laid an egg last week, but everyone has trouble against Bitter Irony.

AP: Especially when all they had left in the fourth quarter was the squeaky gate play. So how do you see tonight's matchup?

JF: Sliders did well against Grim Reality last season, outscoring them 37-14 in "Fever" and 30-19 in "The King is Back." Look for them to have a tougher time tonight though. I mean, if the title "Love Gods" tells us anything Grim Reality might be poised for some sweet sweet vengeance.

AP: With that we're all set for kickoff.

Love Gods - Part I

ARTURO: Bloody asphalt again!

QUINN: Don't complain. Next world it could be spikes.

AP: Not bad, a little banter to start off the game. Should bring a smile.

JF: Yeah, but Grim Reality stuffed the spikes joke for no gain, what are the chances they'd ever land on spikes?

AP: It's a joke, Jesus. Anyway, Sliders is moving right down the field with good chemistry between the four Sliders. They look ready to play today John.

as they emerge out onto the street -- come and go carrying
shopping bags; teen-age girls laugh as they exit a store.

QUINN: Must be a Saturday. Lot of people out shopping.

JF: Oh! Big sack for Grim's right outside linebacker Highly Unlikely! Let's look at the coach's clicker:

JF: See how Quinn opens his mouth?

QUINN:

JF: So far so good, but then he trips over his >:-# when he says:

Must be a Saturday

JF: Highly Unlikely slipped right through the line at that point with shouts of "He doesn't know what day it is???? What the >:-#????" And then Faulty Logic comes in with the assist on:

Lot of people out shopping.

JF: Women shop every day of the frigging year! What kind of logic is this? When has work ever stopped women from shopping? What about Sunday? People don't shop on Sunday? Get real! Sliders is going to have to punt after this huge blunder.

AP: Grim Reality takes over at its own 20 yard line. Plot Warp Speed is in the backfield, you have to really watch this guy, he can MOVE.

THE STORE WINDOW
filled with an array of toys either for girls or non-gender
specific (e.g. Leggos, erector sets). Lots of dolls --
life-size (in some cases, eerily so).

WADE: No guns or war toys. Not one item is a weapon of any kind.

AP: Plot Warp Speed breaks a tackle at the 50! He's still moving! The entire Sliders defense can't pull him down! They finally gang tackle him at the Sliders 11! This kid can really haul ASS!

JF: It was smart for Grim Reality to bring him off the bench, all the 45 minute dramas are vulnerable to Plot Warp Speed, they just don't have enough time to properly develop things. I mean, how could Wade have drawn that conclusion that quickly by looking into a store window? They didn't even go into the store for crissakes!

AP: A couple end runs and the ball's in play at the Sliders 4 yard line.

ARTURO (sotto) : Considering our reception, is it conceivable we've landed in a world without men?

AP: Touchdown, Grim Reality! And just like that, Grim Reality is ahead 7-0!

John Fatten: Jesus Christ, could Arturo really be that stupid? He left the middle WIDE OPEN with his moronic question! This ep is going to have a tough time recovering from this gaffe.

AP: Sliders receives and advances the ball to their 23. Let's see what they can do with it this drive.

JF: Al, the way the Sliders are lined up it looks like they're going for the Uncharacteristic Professor Play. I don't know if this is a good idea, Grim Reality is very good at defending against unlikely character swings.

ARTURO: Mister Brown, if this is indeed the case, I believe we've found Nirvana.

AP: Oh my! Professor Arturo is SLAMMED down behind the line of scrimmage. Characterization Police, the tough middle linebacker for Grim Reality, was all over that play!

JF: I tried to tell ‘em.

ARTURO (going for charm) : Look -- What's it matter where we've been? Or where we came from? We're here now. (cheerful) Ready, willing and able.

AP: Oh! Arturo is positively CRUSHED this time! John, he was hit so hard this time one of his ribs went flying into the stands!

JF: What are they trying to do? When else has Professor Arturo ever acted this way? This is beyond bogus!

REMBRANDT: Blacked-out windows. Extra security -- Like being on tour. At any moment you could be overrun by groupies.

ARTURO: Not a totally unpleasant thought, time permitting.

AP: They tried the same thing three times in a row? Now they're going to have to punt again! Whoever is scripting these plays is an abject moron, John.

JF: This is even stupider than trying to baste chicken with mashed potatoes! You just end up hungry with a burning stove!

AP: We'll be back, right after these messages. 7-0, Grim Reality.