CRISIS - Part V

From: (EXECUTIVE)
Date: 1 Apr 1997 07:18:16

"CRISIS --- Part 2 --- Act One ===> "A >>> Fsmiliar <<< Face in a Unfamiliar Place"

[ "Fsmiliar"? What's that mean? "Far smellier", perhaps? I'm afraid that your command of the English language is so far above that of the ordinary person that you will need to include footnotes. ]
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Hours later the foursome arrive at Eppelee Airfield in Omaha. After leaving the airport at 10:20 PM [ Exactly 10:20! ], they get into a cab and over to the expensive suburban area of town. Rembrandt pays the driver, and he and the others get out of the
vehicle. The Crying Man is gleeful, singing his own rendition of Ray
Charles' "Georgia". The cab driver, in an East Indian accent mutters "Americans!" and drives off.

[ That is sooo funny! I laughed so hard that I could barely breathe for an entire 1/100,000,000 of a nanosecond. Too bad that it is the funniest intentional laugh in the whole thing. ]

They walk towards the house, which is a beautiful white colonial
-style mansion. MAGGIE: "It reminds me of Tara, the mansion that
Scarlett lived in in 'Gone With the Wind'.

[ And we all know how often Maggie refers to things like that! ]

REMBRANDT: "My great-grandfather wouldn't have agreed with you!"

[ Care to explain why? Did his great-grandfather build the place? ]

QUINN (approaching the door): "Are you sure you can handle this,
Wade?" --- WADE: "Are you kidding? How many times have
you met your mother on different worlds?" --- QUINN: "Well, the last time you met your father's double he didn't know the
first thing about physics or any other kind of science."

[ Much like Executive, except you'd have to add, "or anything else" to the end of the sentence. Besides, her father could be "as corrupt as a 3 dollar bill" ]

--- WADE
(ringing the doorbell): "Then I guess we better let you
do the talking then!" Wade is still smiling when a middle-aged
gentleman around 50 answers the door. He is of average
height and build, and his hair is slightly grey. Wade's smile turns to amazement as they make eye contact.

[ How can a smile turn into something intangible like amazement? Wade must be some kind of shapechanger. What a revelation! And Remmy is gay and Quinn is telepathic. You're a bundle of surprises, aren't you Ex? ]

DR. WELLES: "My daughter told me about you people. Please come in."
They enter the house , as Welles closes the door behind them. The living room is lavishly furnished with two matching black leather sofas and two plush canvas-backed cushion chairs. Paintings of ancient Greek philosophers Plato and Aristotle, as well as one of the poet Homer adorn one of the walls. There is also a painting of the Parthenon below them. On another wall are photographs of Dr. Welles, his wife and daughter, and business associates including Professor Maximillian Arturo. Beneath the pictures are various awards and plaques.

[ But they're probably as corrupt as 3 dollar bills, and possibly at close range as well. ]

Wade walks over to the photos and looks at them
longingly. WADE: "It reminds me of home. My father wasn't a
scientist, but he knew engineering. He could fix just about anything
that broke...except our clothes dryer. My mom always
told him to hang his clothes on the line outside instead!"

[ So very deep and moving. Only Executive could turn a malfunctioning household appliance into an object of such moving sentimentality with such....expertise. That poor dryer is easily the most sympathetic character I've seen in years. *sob* Excuse me, I have to wipe the tears of compassion from my eyes. ]

--- QUINN:
"I hear that your Arturo knew about sliding also."
DR. WELLES: "Oh, yes! Would you all sit down and make yourselves
comfortable? I'll fill you in on all of the details."
They walk over to the sofas, which are perpendicular to each other.

[ That makes for an interesting set-up. Whomever is on one of the
sofas will have to turn their head 90 degrees (over the armrest) to talk directly to the people in the other sofa. And if someone is on the far end of the other sofa, they'll be talking at the back of the heads of the people on the perpendicular sofa. Or do the characters just stare ahead and talk at the wall? It must be one of those secret agent tricks so that the characters don't know who they are talking to and can't implicate anyone if they are tortured. No doubt Exec is drawing on his many years in the CIA to write this.

Yes, I know what he meant by perpendicular, but a letter 'T' shape sprung to mind first and I thought it was funny. Over. ]

The men sit down on one, and the ladies on the other.
Dr. Welles remains standing: "Mimi is our housekeeper. Mimi, would you please get our guests some Cokes?"

[ Interesting product placement slipped in there ]

Mimi goes into the kitchen. WADE: "Is Mrs. Welles home?" --- DR. WELLES: "No, she is in Lincoln visiting her sister and the family...
You know, I >>> can't over <<< how much you look like my daughter. Of course,

[ I "can't over" how dumb this story is ]

her hairstyle is different, but then because she is working out East I haven't seen her in 2 months." Welles pauses as he puts his head in his hands.

[ He removed his head! Wow. Is he a robot? ]

"If only I could afford
to pay the ransom!" He looks up, and the concern on his face is
apparent. --- QUINN: "What are you talking about, sir?"

[ Sir? ]

WELLES: "A few hours ago I got a phone call from a man in Washington, DC. He's a Secret Service agent...He put my Wade on
the phone very briefly. I recognized her voice. She told me that he
would kill her if I don't wire exactly $5 million into
his account!"

[ As a character in this story, it's a surprise she didn't opt for death to get away from the "literary genius" of Ex-Lax. ]

--- REMBRANDT: "I sure wouldn't want to be in your shoes!" --- DR. WELLES: "Even if I put this house up for sale, it wouldn't be enough to cover it. --- WADE: "Doctor, I know how
much your daughter means to you. But you can't give
in to this creep's demands. There must be another way. --- Mimi comes

[ No quotations AGAIN! ]

out of the kitchen with a tray containing four tall
glasses of Coca-Cola. She hands one to each of the guests.

[ Wade appears to have contracted Quinn's tendency to describe what is happening, in third person narrative ]

QUINN:
"What about the Institute?" --- DR. WELLES: "It may
still have my name on it, as well as my late partner's.

[ Doesn't he know if his name is on it? Has he checked the front of the building? ]

But the fact is, that the business is government owned.
QUINN: "Sounds like some kind of socialism."

[ What an appropriate, insightful statement. I say things like that all the time. ]

In the course of the next 15 minutes, they all discuss sliding and each other's experiences with their own Arturos.

[ All that in 15 minutes? How fast were they speaking? ]

The Sliders finish their sodas. DR. WELLES: "I'm sure you're all tired from your long flight, and it is getting late. Mimi has prepared four bedrooms for you upstairs. Tomorrow morning >>> well talk <<<

[ I wasn't aware Dr Welles was into well drilling. ]

more over breakfast, and then leave for the Institute." Welles looks at Maggie and tells her, "Are you any good with
that gun?" The others smile.

[ While the people reading this roll their eyes ]

MAGGIE: "Doctor, you are looking at a
professional sharpshooter who graduated at the top of
her class!"

[ Reader, you are looking at a story written by a grown man whom it would appear, couldn't graduate at the top of a Grade 1 class, even today! ]

--- WADE: "I wonder how many guys she had to sleep with to
make that grade?"

[ About as many as Exec did to graduate, assuming he ever did. ]

Rembrandt and Quinn snicker as they all start ascending the spiral staircase.
REMBRANDT: "Now if only she could learn to shoot a car's tires while going 85 miles an hour!"

[ Wasn't Quinn going 86 mph? Well, I guess you can't expect a silly thing like "internal consistency" in a plot this stupid. ]

Continued in the next topic

[ What scope! What drama! I can't wait for the earth shattering excitement of the next part! ]