CRISIS - Part II

From: (EXECUTIVE)
Date: 31 Mar 1997 07:57:28

"CRISIS" --- Act 2 ==> "Cross Country Sliding"

[ Hold on everybody! This is one wild ride! ]

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The wormhole materializes some 6 feet in the air, and the Sliders land safely in the uncut grass in front of a large group of
people. Maggie's eyes widen in amazement when she sees the Washington Monument just 10 yards to her left, "What the hell?"
WADE: "This is kind of weird Quinn - I hope you can explain this!"
REMBRANDT: "What better place to be than our nation's capitol - that is IF it's our nation."

[ Given Washington's rep, I can think of a whole lot of better places ]

QUINN: "Before we worry about where we are, let's get away from these tourists before somebody takes our picture!"
They run several blocks down the street, although nobody follows them. They stop in front of a newsstand.
QUINN: "For once we are going to keep a low profile.

[ That should be easy considering they only fell out of a wormhole in front of a whole group of tourists ]

Guess what? We have 8 weeks until the next slide. It's that extra time that I needed -- and got by making some adjustments to the
geo-stabilizer and a few other circuits.
WADE: "Then how did we get to Washington, D.C. from Fresno?"
QUINN: "That was a result of my experimenting with the gyro. We now have a sliding radius of 3000 miles.
MAGGIE: "And just how does this longer distance help us, Quinn?"

[ It doesn't. Exec just thought it would make him sound smart ]

QUINN: "Very simple, Beckett.

[ Quinn calls her Beckett a lot on the show doesn't he? Or is that just in the lousy scripts that try to use lame pseudo-macho lines to sound cool. ]

Arturo and I have long theorized that
just as the number of parallel Earths is limited, so
are the total number of wormholes.

[ They theorized this despite the fact that it contradicts what they said in the show earlier? No wonder they can't get home. Now
that they have Exec's help, we can pretty much forget about them
making it anywhere, much less surviving for long. ]

There is no way to tell just how many countless wormholes there are on any world.

[ Would it be because they ARE countless that they can't tell how many wormholes there are? ]

It could be billions, even trillions. So as I see it, we have nothing to lose by sliding to various parts of the country.
Sooner or later we WILL find the right wormhole home!"

[ Actually, it makes things worse. Now they'd have an even more
random travelling path with even more wormholes to contend with. ]

REMBRANDT: "So what you are telling us >>> is that this is that this is <<<

[ I'm not certain how well Cleavant could deliver this line. After all, he isn't Max Headroom. Perhaps it is a side effect of walking through that door in part 1 ]

all a crapshoot, and you're just playing us for fools!"
QUINN: "Now you know me better than that, Remmy!"

[ Not in this story ]

BROWN: "I'm not so sure anymore."
MALLORY: "Well, if that's how you feel -- take your best shot! Go
ahead..."

[ AHAHAHAHAHA! I must admit, I did not see that line coming. Too bad I couldn't see it because it is out of character and is a really stupid thing to get upset about (I mean, what an insult that was!) This harkens back to the scene cut from the pilot episode that went like this:

MALLORY (whoever that is): "What do you want for supper, mom?"
QUINN'S MOM: "I'm not sure."
MALLORY: "Well if that's how you feel -- take your best shot! Go ahead..."
QUINN'S MOM: "I ain't gonna hit you, man. You're still my best chance of getting something to eat." ]

BROWN: "I ain't gonna hit you, man. You're still our best chance of making it home again.

[ Gee Exec, don't get all mushy. ]

QUINN: "Well, it certainly isn't home. Maggie would have had an asthma attack by now.

[ Who said they were home? Is Quinn telepathic now as well, in yet another of your astounding revelations to improve the series? It should be interesting when combined with Rembrandt's ability to pass through solid objects. ]

MAGGIE (smiling): "I may be menstruating, but I'm not having any
trouble breathing this world's polluted air!"

[ And to think, Disney hasn't snapped you up to write their next animated family feature. ]

QUINN: "OK, you guys know the drill from the last few worlds." Maggie opens her backpack and removes 4 walkie talkies.
She hands one each to the others.
QUINN: "Rembrandt, you walk down to the Library of Congress. It's just a few blocks from here. Research the political and
social history of this world.

[ What smooth dialogue! I can hear Quinn's voice like he's next to me and speaking the lines ]

Maggie, you and I will find us a place to stay. Wade will handle our employment search."

Maggie buys a copy of the Washington Post from the newsstand, and they all start walking.

[ Where to? Nowhere in particular? In circles? Moon walking? Silly me, they're just walking in place. ]

Several hours pass, and Rembrandt does just enough research to get a general understanding of the world.

[ Much like Executive did with our world ]

BROWN (on his walkie talkie to Quinn): "I'm finished Q-Ball. This
world is as corrupt as a three dollar bill.

[ The expression is "Phony as a 3 dollar bill!", though I'd be willing to substitute "Lame as our dialogue." ]

The system is run almost exclusively by both political parties, and it's hard to know just who you can trust these days. Any luck on
your end? Over."
QUINN (responding): "Well, sort of. Maggie and I found this fleabag motel on Dover Street. Over."
BROWN: "That's the best you can do? Over."
MAGGIE (on her walkie talkie): "On our current budget - yeah!

[ Wow, 3 way communication! You have reached the party line! ]

We
haven't worked anywhere in over 2 months. Over."

[ Yet somehow they were able to afford TWO adjoining luxury suites on the previous world. ]

BROWN (sighing): "Some things never change, I guess. Give me the
directions to the motel, and I'll be right over...and out!"

[ Remmy is coming out? What evidence do you have that he is gay? Do the producers know you're trying to change these things? ]

While Maggie reads the newspaper, Quinn goes outside for some air.

[ Because the buildings in Exec's world have no air inside them ]

Down in the street he spots a homeless man sitting on the
curb smoking a joint in front of the motel. His clothes are tattered, but he seems content.

[ Joints tend to do that to people, as I'm sure Exec knows. Then
again, his frequent outbursts indicate some kind of underlying
psychosis as well. ]

QUINN: "Down on your luck, mister?"
MAN: "No, I just enjoy sitting around in the street with absolutely nothing to do!"

[ What clever dialogue! ]

Quinn hands the man >>> 15 dollars, <<< "Tell me about your world. I'm from

[ Let me guess, a corrupt 15 dollar bill. ]

out of town."

[ When you want to learn about a world, it is always advisable to ask homeless people smoking joints. They're very reliable and think nothing of the fact that you ask something dumb like "Tell me about your WORLD."
Of course, the fact that you are from out of town explains why you know nothing of the world around you ]

MAN: "Thanks. Well, for many years I was involved in a top-secret
government project to illegally sell arms to the Lebanese
freedom fighters. Under the old Clinton Administration it worked
great, but once Bob Dole and his equally slimy cabinet got
into office last year, they put us all in jail...except for me.

[ Well, if he has to beat the information out of the guy.... Nice to see that the man is good at keeping his mouth shut and not revealing important national secrets ]

QUINN: "I hate to ask, but why?"
MAN: "I gave the senatorial committee all the information they needed in exchange for my freedom. Seems they also got my entire life savings of $450,345.

[ That makes a lot of sense. *snicker* I'm surprised he didn't add how many cents they got as well. ]

QUINN: "That's one hell of a stiff fine!"
MAN: "Hallelujah, brother!"

[ Mwahahahahah. What writing prowess! What dialogue! So lifelike! ]

Continued in next topic [ You have been warned ]