BritSlider, as usual, was fast asleep on the sofa in the Story Cave.SL4ever: Well someone had better wake him up, it's his go.
DMD: Yeah, then he can write his part and we'll move onto the next story.
SouthernSlider walked over to the sleeping Brit, and gently shook him by the shoulder to awaken him.
Brit: Huh, wassup? Is the pizza here already?
SS: It's your go hun, time to put this story to bed.
Brit: You've got to be kidding me! We only started this story a couple of weeks ago, we can't be more than half way through by now!
Mychand: It's true, everyone has really got their butt into gear, so hurry up and write your part. Not that it turned out quite how I envisaged it, but never mind!
BritSlider walked over to the bar; no way was he going to write his part without getting a drink first.
ThomasMalthus: Your usual Brit?
Brit: Yeah, knock me up a cold one old boy.
Slider_Sarah: I'll have one too! Now that I'm eighteen I can actually order beer legally!
TM: Ah, but that's the wonderful thing about the Story Cave; we aren't exactly bound by the laws of reality, so there are no age restrictions at "TM's Bar 'o Plenty".
Sarah: You mean I could have been drinking beer all this time?
TM: Yep!
Sarah: Oh fu....
Torch (voice of Sabrina Lloyd): Will you get on with it!!
Everyone in the cave turned to look at the torch.
Dellyone: My, my; aren't you the impatient one today?
Tigs: Yeah, like, totally chill out babe. We, like, totally don't need that kind of attitude here.
Torch (bashful voice of Sabrina Lloyd): Sorry, I guess I was getting a little ahead of myself there; I was just so excited by the fact that we are going to get this story completed so quickly!
Jenn X: That's okay, but just wait until a more appropriate moment next time.
Brit walked over to the desk to see what SL4ever had done with his part of the story. He fully expected to have been painted into a corner; but instead was pleasantly surprised that nothing too horrible had gone on so far. That was until he got to the last bit of the story. Brit's normally calm demeanour was in serious danger of slipping away.
Brit: SL4ever, you utter, utter bastard! That's twice in a row you've stolen my patented "yooouuuu!" ending to a segment!
SL4ever: Easy dude, you're writing the last part; I figured you wouldn't be using it anyway.
HurriKain: He's right Brit; you can't finish a game with a cliff-hanger like that. At least, you'd better not finish the game like that, or I shall be forced to become angry; and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!
Tigs: HK, no-one likes you when you're angry, but it's when you calm down that things get even worse. You do realise that your clothing rips to shreds every time you turn into the Incredible HK, and then when you calm down.... Well... Sometimes you're not quite as... erm.. discrete as you should be, shall we say?
HK suddenly looked embarrassed.
HK: Hey, it's cold in this cave, I told you we needed to turn the heating up!
SweetOne: Yeah, whatever HK; we believe you.
Torch (voice of Sabrina Lloyd): Erm... I don't wish to interrupt, but... erm....
Brit: ...will I get on with it?
Torch (voice of Sabrina Lloyd): If it's not too much trouble?
Brit: No problem old girl.
And with that, BritSlider began to write........
---------------------------------------------------
"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!"
The word echoed around the undressing room as the four Sliders stared at the person in the doorway. She was of average height, brown hair, glasses, rather overweight, in fact; the only remarkable thing about her was the large calibre pistol that she was now pointing at them. It took the four of them a few seconds to realise that they had absolutely no idea who this person was!
"Madam," began Arturo. "I don't wish to seem rude, but just who in heaven's name are you?"
This only seemed to enrage the woman with the gun more. She was positively seething with resentment, little flecks of spittle flying when she spoke. "That's typical, bloody typical! No-one ever recognises the writer! All they care about are the naked sluts that appear in front of them! No-one thinks that someone has actually put time and effort into writing what they see!"
The Sliders seemed a little confused by this turn of events. It was Wade who spoke first; "We thought that Peck wrote this piece of crap; are you telling us that you wrote it?"
"Is that what this is all about?" Asked Remmy. "Peck stole your idea, and so now you are trying to sabotage the production to get your revenge?"
The gun-toting maniac was just about to reply when another woman appeared at her side. This time the Sliders did recognise her; it was Milly-Sue Ross, one of Peck's assistants. "Come on Magda, just kill them and let's get out of here!"
"Not yet Milly-Sue", hissed Magda. "I want to make them suffer for a bit first!"
Milly-Sue looked up at her with adoring eyes; "Whatever you wish, o' great one."
Magda sneered at her four captives; none of them could have known what kind of fate she had in store for them. "You see," she began. "It wasn't always like this. I used to be a teacher; trying to educate the minds of children, to fill them with the joys of great literary figures like Shakespeare, Homer, Hemmingway. But all they cared about were the gratuitous displays of nakedness that they would see on television, and at the theatre. So I gave up my teaching job, and came here to be a writer. I hoped that I could get my message across; but everyone just thought that it was because I was sexually repressed. They said that if could get laid just once then I would realise that there was more to this world than writing depressing and naive poetry! Bastards! What do they know! Milly-Sue, get the car started; we might need to make a quick getaway."
Milly-Sue ran out of the undressing room, headed for the parking lot. Carefully Wade approached Magda, hoping that she would be able to talk some sense into her. "But what would killing us solve? We're not even from this world; we're from a parallel dimension, our death's would mean nothing."
"It will show the world that all those involved with this despicable industry are in danger of retribution from the Christian Loving American Writers!" She spat.
"CLAW?" Said Remmy incredulously. "What kind of name is that?"
Magda turned her steely gaze to him; "We had to think of something snappy, something cool; that was the best acronym we came up with. Are you saying that you don't like it?"
Remmy backed off a little; "Heck lady, you're the one with the gun; whatever you say is cool with me."
"Then I hope you'll enjoy dying; because I've had enough of this small talk!" Magda grinned evilly at them, as a shadow fell across her from behind. "Dammit Milly-Sue, I told you to wait by the car!"
Magda turned, and as she did so the Sliders could see that it wasn't Milly-Sue returning, but instead it was a naked Colin. Everyone seemed to have forgotten about him, but from the residual food crumbs around his lips they could only assume that he had stayed to finish off the rest of the props.
The next few seconds seemed to last for an eternity, as if the camera had slowed down to only four frames a second. Magda span to point the pistol and fire at Colin. Wade had a flash of inspiration resulting from her last encounter with him, and lifted her top up, thrusting her now exposed breasts at Colin. His reaction was instant, and much, much bigger than anyone could ever have imagined possible! With one twitch of his now incredibly massive erection, Colin sent the pistol spinning from Magda's hands. Quinn and Remmy jumped on her, and dragged her to the ground where they held her tight. Arturo rushed over, but the situation now seemed to be under control
"That was very quick thinking Miss Wells, and very, erm, 'impressive' work Colin" He said.
Colin smiled bashfully; "Well, my pappy always said you had to use the right tool for the job!"
Wade looked at Quinn, smiling hopefully; "Is there some kind of family trait that you want to share with me?"
Quinn looked a little embarrassed. "I guess I must have got the brains in our family then." Was all he managed to say.
Magda had stopped struggling, which had given the others a chance to tie her up. Just then, Milly-Sue came rushing back to see what had happened; only to be grabbed by Arturo before she could escape. The Professor paused for a moment, and then bent to study her up close. "You know, I don't think this woman is who she really says she is. This looks like a latex mask to me." Saying that, he put his hand under her chin, and peeled off a very convincing rubber mask. Underneath was revealed an old man; seventy if he was a day.
Colin gasped in shock; "It's Old Man Withers, the studio head! But why would he be involved in something like this?"
Old Man Withers looked crestfallen. "The studio was in financial trouble, everyone is making nude, science-fiction musicals about food these days; what we needed was a selling point. I thought that if I could get Magda so outraged about the changes to her original script, then she would kill Wade and Quinn. Naturally this would make my film the hottest property in town, the box office alone would be more than enough to save the studio. And I would have got away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling Sliders!"
Colin summoned the studio guards, who held the two conspirators until the police arrived to take them away.
The four Sliders were left in Wade's undressing room. Remmy pulled the timer from his pocket and looked at the display. "Well, would you believe it, we slide in twenty seconds! Why do we always cut these things so close?"
Wade smiled at the others; "I only hope the next world is a bit more fun than this one was."
"And let's hope they wear a few more clothes as well!" Interjected Quinn. "I wonder where our next slide will take us?"
"That is the fun of this mystery machine, my boy," said Arturo. "We never know where we will end up."
Remmy pressed the button on the timer, and the familiar blue swirling vortex opened in front of them. One by one the Sliders jumped through, not knowing where they would end up next.
---------------------------------------------------
BritSlider stood up, and walked away from the desk. He was carrying the manuscript, and handed it to HurriKain for the final "Completed" stamp to be put on it.
HK: Dude, what's with those 'Scooby Doo' references at the end?
Brit: SL4ever said that he wanted to make the next story a really dark one, so I thought I end this on as light a note as possible; and what could be better than the 'Scooby Doo' ending?
Mychand: Well, if you're aski.....
Brit: It was a rhetorical question!!
SouthernSlider seemed to be fanning herself rather more than normal, considering how cold it was in the cave.
(HK: See! I told you it was cold in here!)
SS: Oh my! I just knew that mah Colin would save the day in such an, 'impressive' way!
Brit: I thought you might enjoy that one my dear. Can you believe that we finished the game so quickly?
TM: I know, it's just like back in the old days.
DMD: Now don't you kids go getting all nostalgic on us, maybe this will usher in a new, quicker story game for all of us?
The rest of the writers in the cave just smiled, they knew that it would be a long time before another game was finished this quickly.
HK: Don't forget to put your name on the sign-up sheet for the next game if you want in!
TM: I'll start making the cocktails.
Brit: I'll phone out for pizza.
SL4ever (evil grin): And I shall prepare for my evil masterpiece BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, and don't forget to order my pies as well!!!!!
And with that, the people in the cave went about their normal business.................
