(Intro)As the vortex swirled open, Brand_S, TemporalFlux, and HunterD_Raven came flying out. The three of them all collided with each other. S slowly got up and dusted off his clothes. "Man, oh, man!" S exclaimed. "It's good to be in some REAL clothes for a change." "Definitely," Hunter agreed. "I'm so glad we got to change after all that shit we went through with Slider_Sarah's double." "Guys," Flux butted in. "I don't think we'll need to worry about clothes for a while." S and Hunter looked around. Sure enough, everyone was completely naked. There wasn't even anybody wearing a watch. Everybody was smiling, enjoying themselves, walking around completely devoid of clothes and apparently enjoying every minute of it. Slowly, S, Hunter, and Flux smiled the defining grins of their lives and laughed in delight. They jumped up and down cheering. S yelled, "Nude World!" "I could get used to this," Hunter responded. "That's it. I'm joining the culture... then I'm gonna find Stochi's double. Go ahead and throw away the timer, S!" Hunter proceeded to unbutton his shirt. "Good idea!" Flux followed suit. "Hmmm..." S thought for a few seconds. "I like these clothes too much to part with them." "Suit yourself," Flux responded. "Does somebody else want to hang onto the timer? I had to carry it in the last world! Hunter?" Hunter, obviously distracted by the sights and sounds of Nude World, casually responded, "Let Flux carry it." Flux grabbed the timer from S, "I'll take care of it, S!" "Maybe we should split up," S suggested. "Good idea," Flux agreed. "The timer says we slide out at 12:15 am. I'll be back here at midnight." "Later," S said in passing as he walked off by himself. Hunter and Flux continued disrobing. Flux took a look around and saw a number of women walking into the library. The sight of the library made Flux space out. "Mmmm... Research..." It was all Flux could do to stop himself from salivating like a Pavlov dog. Flux absently laid the timer on a nearby bench. Flux quickly responded to Hunter, "DgottagoI'llbeinthelibraryholdontothetimer!" Flux was off and running, by now blending in perfectly with the locals. Hunter was completely free of his clothes as well, but he had no idea that Flux left him with the timer. He was still looking around, keeping a close eye on his surroundings. Eventually, he sighted her in the distance. "Stochi." Hunter licked his lips as he saw none other than Stoker_chick. This was no Valley Girl double either. She had that Gothic black hair and pale skin with many a tattoo. Hunter started chasing her down. Meanwhile, on the corner of the street where the sliders first entered, two separate piles of clothes and a timer lay, completely exposed to the rest of the world. (TemporalFlux)TemporalFlux entered the library grinning like a bandit. He looked around and giggled at what he saw. Not only was the place populated entirely by nude men and women, but there were posters advertising Sliders everywhere. Flux stepped over to the librarian. As he looked at the young woman, he whispered to himself... "Nude Librarians. Awesome." The woman looked up at him. "Can I help you?" "Oh, hi," Flux introduced himself. "I'm new around here. I'm from out of town. I noticed that there are a lot of Sliders advertisements on the walls here." "Of course," the woman responded. "Sliders is the second most popular show ever! It already has six seasons under its belt." "Sliders? Six seasons?" Flux paused, then leapt into the air. "WOOHOO!!!!! Um, thanks. I'll be in the back, using one of the computers." "Um, okay," the librarian responded, a bit dumbfounded. (Brand_S)Brand_S walked down the street, eyeballing the people. He concluded that he was probably in this world's New York city. The streets were packed with cars and pedestrians... although he couldn't complain since none of them were wearing any clothes. Eventually, S decided to hail a cab. He started yelling for a taxi. S noticed a young brunette woman doing the same about a foot to his right. A taxi did pull up. Before S could walk up to it, the woman behind him yelled. "Um, sir?" S turned around. "Can I help you?" "I'm in a bit of a hurry. Do you think we could take a cab together?" "Sure," S said. S and the woman stepped in the cab together. S looked at the driver and thought he recognized him from somewhere. "CoolSlider?" "That's my nickname," the driver said. "Where to?" "The big white apartment building on E Street," the woman responded. "You know which one I'm talking about? "Yep. Will do." CoolSlider hit the gas pedal and the cab was off. The woman looked over at S. "So... What are those?" The woman pointed to S' clothes. "These are called clothes," S responded. "When you wear them, they protect you from cold... and stuff." "What an amazing invention! I've never seen anything like it in my life!" the woman smiled. "I think it's kind of... sexy." "Good," S responded. "It is!" "Driver, slow down," the woman told CoolSlider. "Take your time... I'm not in such a hurry anymore. So, mister..." "S," S gave his name. "S, my name's Sassy. Let me show you a few of MY specialties!" CoolSlider checked out his center mirror and smiled. "I love this job!" (HunterD_Raven)HunterD_Raven carefully followed Stoker_chick through the streets. It was all he could do not to lose sight of her in the middle of the bustling sidewalk. Eventually, he saw her enter a Starbucks coffee establishment, and he ran on in. There was Stochi herself, manning (well, you get the idea) a cash register. Hunter walked up to her. "Hello, sir," Stochi greeted him. "Can I help you?" Hunter decided to try out a pick-up line S taught him. "If I followed you home, would you keep me?" Stochi laughed out loud. "Let's find out. Here's my address and the time when my shift ends. Be there!" Stochi wrote down a few things on a slip of paper and gave the slip to Hunter. Hunter smiled as he took the paper. He left Starbucks thinking how grateful he is that on this world, Stoker_chick lives in New York City. (Brand_S)As the taxi pulled up to the "big white apartment building," Sassy stepped out of the taxi, giving S one final wink and a smile before going into the building. S laughed and shut the door. "So," S said. "What is it you people do for fun around here?" "Personally," CoolSlider said. "I just drive this taxi everywhere. Some of the hottest women EVER take taxi rides! You want to see what everyone else enjoys?" "Sure." "Okay, but I'll warn you," CoolSlider warned. "It's REAL stupid." S thought about it. "Well, stupidity is the spice of life. Let's see what it is!" About an hour later, S found himself out in the middle of nowhere. He was in a barely-habited expanse of farmland. CoolSlider pulled up behind one of the farms. S looked around and saw a bunch of cows in a pen surrounded by about a hundred laughing naked people. S stepped out of the cab for a closer look. "What's this?" S asked. "Cow tipping," CoolSlider responded. "Damn," S commented. "This IS stupid!" "Well, I have to go. My shift's over. Later!" CoolSlider sped away, leaving S staring at the masses of people tipping over cows, applauding, and laughing. S decided to take a look around. He went up to one of the older cow tippers. "Excuse me, how do I get back into town from here?" The old man pointed in a certain direction. "Just go that way fer twenty miles!" "Shit." S looked around, and was shocked to see that there wasn't an operational car in sight. There was just a shanty town of tents next to the pen. He sighed, then stepped up to the shoulder of the road and started walking. (HunterD_Raven)While he was waiting for Stoker_chick's shift to end, HunterD_Raven checked out a nearby bar. He went right on in and saw dozens of women partying. He smiled at the sight. What he didn't see was the banner above the bar's front advertising the title: "The He-She Lounge." Hunter went up to the bar and noticed the bartender, a twenty-something woman (of which there seemed to be many). "Bartender," he said. "What's the legal drinking age around here?" "18," the bartender replied. "You look old enough. What'll it be?" "Take your strongest drink and hand me the bottle!" The bartender complied, opening the bottle for Hunter, who drank it straight up and giggled at the buzz. "You know," the bartender said. "We don't get many 100% men around here!" "Well, babe," Hunter said. "Then I'm your man! Being in a bar with beautiful women is my specialty!" "Oh," the bartender laughed. "We're not really women." Hunter looked around and choked on his liquor. He could no longer hide his thick Louisiana accent. "OH MAW GAWD!!!!!" "That's right, sweet-cheeks," the bartender said with a voice like something out of a horror flick. "We're only women from the equator on up! From the waist down, we're just as male as you!" Terrified, Hunter screamed at the top of his lungs and bolted out of the bar as fast as he could. (TemporalFlux)"Oh, baby!" TemporalFlux spoke in a deep Barry White-esque voice. He kept on typing into the computer. He couldn't believe what he found... a very special Sliders message board. No RealmKeeper, no Executive... just a message board where Flux's double, SpaceTime, and darkslider were worshipped, and their word was law. When Flux started to grow bored with the Sliders Board, he got up and went back to the librarian. Every time he looked at her, she looked better and better. He just couldn't resist the temptation to ask her out. "Excuse me," Flux said. "I was wondering if you'd like to go out for some coffee or something." "I thought you'd never ask," the librarian said. "Let's get going! By the way, my name's TemptressInfinity. What's yours?" "Flux. TemporalFlux." If Flux had any idea that right now one of his teammates was walking thirty miles, or that another narrowly escaped a bar populated by she-males, he'd probably feel like the lucky one. (HunterD_Raven)By the time HunterD_Raven arrived at Stoker_chick's apartment, the sun had long since set. He found himself at a big white apartment building on E Street. Stoker_chick walked up to him. "Hey," Stochi said. "So you showed up." "Ah sure did," Hunter said, his ability to cover his Louisiana accent burnt out by what had happened to him only a few hours ago. "Well, come on in!" Stoker_chick followed Hunter in the apartment building, through an elevator through a maze of halls. Eventually, Stochi stopped and opened one of the doors. She and Hunter stepped right on in. The lights were already on, and another woman was laying on a couch. Hunter followed Stochi and the two of them sat on another couch a few feet away from her. "Hey Sassy," Stoker_chick greeted her roommate. "Do anything interesting today?" "Yeah," Sassy said. "I met the most interesting guy when I was coming home from work." "Good," Stochi went up to Sassy and whispered something in her ear. "Okay," Sassy responded out loud. "I'll just be in my room." Sassy did just that, closing the door behind her. "Let's get straight to the point!" Stochi said as she grabbed Hunter by the shoulders and dragged him into a laying-down position. Hunter could have theorized that, on this world, the entire procedure of dating was changed to something much more physical. He could have theorized that, since people were already naked, they focused on physical love first and put personal relationships second, since it was easier that way. He also could have theorized that, because of this, getting laid is extremely easy for everyone on this world. Finally, he could have theorized that maybe, just maybe, polygamy could become popular on a world like this. But Hunter didn't bother with thinking about any of this, and decided to focus a bit more on the task at hand. This went on for about an hour before Hunter heard a loud knock at the door. Stochi got up and answered the door. "Um, hi," Stochi said. The man stomped into the apartment. Hunter was shocked. The man was obviously his double, but on Nude World, the double apparently did a little more iron-pumping than the Hunter we all know and love. The double, Alt-Hunter, looked as if he weight three-hundred pounds of pure muscle, and having to look at every last one of those muscles made our Hunter's knees buckle wildly. Alt-Hunter pointed to Hunter. "Who is he?" He said in a booming, spine-tingling voice. "Answer me!" Hunter got up and made his way to the door. "I better go." "You've been cheating on me again, Stochi?!" an incensed Alt-Hunter yelled. Hunter found himself running out of the apartment. Alt-Hunter started chasing after him. Hunter's heart raced in his chest as he ran through the apartment building, but Alt-Hunter just kept gaining and gaining and gaining on him. Hunter decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator since he didn't want to risk Alt-Hunter catching up to him. Hunter just kept running, but he could feel himself wearing out more and more. (TemporalFlux)TemporalFlux and TemptressInfinity found themselves walking home from a Starbucks establishment (the same one, in fact, where Stoker_chick works). TemptressInfinity had her own house a few blocks down from the big white apartment building. "You know what I like to do on a first date?" TemptressInfinity asked. "Oh, baby!" TemporalFlux said to himself. "What?" "Watch my favorite TV show!" TemporalFlux found himself stuttering. "S-s-s-sliders?" "No, silly," TemptressInfinity smiled. "Sliders is only the SECOND best TV show. You know what the best one is?" "What?" "First Wave!" TemptressInfinity laughed, turned around, flipped on the TV and VCR, and played a tape of First Wave. "Oh dear God no!" TemporalFlux screamed in terror. "Come," TemptressInfinity spoke monotonously... like a cultist. "Join me. Watch First Wave." TemporalFlux got on his knees and screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" "Watch." "I gotta get out of here!" TemporalFlux got up and ran for the front door of the house. (Brand_S)Brand_S was still walking down the road when he sighted what could only be described as the most beautiful 18-year-old woman EVER. She was pacing up and down the street with her arm extended out, thumb up in hitchhiking position. Brand_S went up to her. "What are you doing?" "Riding my thumb. What does it look like?" "No, I mean, what are you doing out here, in the middle of nowhere?" "I'm trying to get back in town," the woman answered. "My family made me go with them to do some cow tipping, but their car broke down when they got there. I didn't want to stay, so I decided to go back. What about you?" "I got stuck back there too," S responded. "But wouldn't it be safer to just walk? It can't be more than fifteen miles now. Besides, it's a lot more scenic than the inside of a car." "I guess you're right," the woman said. "I'm not getting anywhere doing this anyway. Mind if I join you?" "Not a problem," S said. "What's your name, anyway?" "S," the woman said. "What's yours?" Brand_S' heart skipped a beat... but he realized it was only logical that his female double would be so incredibly hot. "Cool. My name's S too. I think I'm your double!" "What now?" The two of them went on together, as Brand_S explained that he was from a parallel earth and how he ended up on Nude World in the first place. "So," Alt-S said. "If you don't have the timer, then who does?" "I gave it to TemporalFlux, one of my teammates," S answered. "You know," Alt-S said. "All this walking is making my feet really tired. Maybe we should stop and rest." "Good idea," S said, pointing. He had completely forgotten that he needed to be back in town by midnight. "There's a farm over there!" The two Brand_S doubles went to the door and rang the doorbell. A farmer answered. The man looked like a really skinny, really old, really bald Cousin Eddie. "Well, howdy, there sump'n ah k'n do ya for?" "We were just wondering if there was a place where we could rest," Alt-S said. "Ah reckon you could use the barn," the farmer said. "Wow, really? Thanks!" Alt-S said. "For cute li'l trav'lers like you, anythin'," the farmer responded with a smile that showed a remarkable lack of teeth. Brand_S fought back the urge to ask how such a toothless hick could live on a farm outside such a big city. "If y'need anythin', I'll send ya all the food y'can eat. I got real comf't'r'ble beds too. Just one condition..." "What's that?" S asked. The farmers smile turned into a threatening frown as two adolescent girls came oustide to see what was going on. Fortunately, neither looked anything like the farmer. "Don't EVER touch mah daughters!" A half hour later, S and Alt-S bolted out of the barn and ran for their lives through the farm, and out onto the road. In hot pursuit was the farmer, brandishing his shotgun, aiming, and firing. The fightened S doubles both suspected that the farmer was a crappy aim, but they weren't about to find out the hard way. They ran off as fast as their feet could carry them away from the farm. "Ah'll kill ya both, ah swear ah will!" The farmer screamed at the top of his lungs. "But ah love him, pa!" one daughter cried. "But ah love her, pa!" the other daughter cried. S and Alt-S just kept running until the sound of the bullets firing died down. After that, they kept walking and talking for a few more hours, until eventually they found themselves back in New York City. "I just remembered how much I love the city," Alt-S said. "Tell me about it," S chuckled. "Country life sucks." "Hey, I gotta go home. All that walking made me tired," Alt-S said. "Save this world's coordinates or whatever. Maybe you and I can get together again and harass that farmer some more. Later!" "Yeah, have fun," S waved goodbye to Alt-S as she left. S kept walking down the street. Fortunately, he remembered which street corner at which to meet Hunter and Flux. He only hoped they'd show up in time. (Outro)While S was still out in the middle of nowhere walking his way back to civilization, TemporalFlux, already in the heart of civilization, was escaping TemptressInfinity's house. Just when he was about to get to the front door, he tripped and fell flat on his face. TemptressInfinity grabbed him from beind. "Don't EVER reject me!" TemptressInfinity admonished. "You WILL watch my special show with me!" Flux found himself hogtied, placed on a chair. TemptressInfinity sat on a nearby couch, watching First Wave. TemporalFlux was forced to watch as well... or at least listen with his eyes shut. For hours he watched the show, unable to move. "I'll be right back," TemptressInfinity eventually said as she left for the bathroom. As soon as TemptressInfinity left. TemporalFlux fell out of the chair. He found that he was bound entirely by ropes, but none were actually connected to the chair. Like a snake, he slithered his way out of the living room. This proved to be incredibly time-consuming, but fortunately TemptressInfinity was taking a while in the bathroom. TemporalFlux eventually reached the front doorstep. Luckily, once there, he found that there were cement steps leading up to the front door. Flux found a way to position himself so he could get up. When he was done, he was standing straight up, hopping his way out of TemptressInfinity's house. At about this time, Hunter was busy running away from his double. He had his work cut out for him. He was three blocks from the street corner where he was to meet S and Flux, and it was about 11:50. At this time of day, the streets were almost completely empty. On the third block away from Hunter was an obstacle, a very fat old man with a huge white beard, carrying three large, full paper bags between two hands. This old man had just raided an am/pm convenience store, grabbing all the hot dogs, breakfast burritos, and Lunchables he could find... at 300 pounds, this old man had learned that when he's hungry, he's HUNGRY, a lesson that has made him resemble a naked Santa Claus. Hunter had no idea this old man was even there; he was distracted by the thought of the muscular one chasing after him. On the second block away from Hunter was TemptressInfinity's house. TemporalFlux was just now hopping his way out of the house. Hunter kept running, oblivious to TemporalFlux and the portly eating machine. By the time Hunter saw the old man, it was too late. Hunter couldn't stop in time, and hit the old man in a head-on collision. Food flew everywhere. Hunter was so stunned by the sight he couldn't get running again. TemporalFlux came up to the scene from behind. Alt-Hunter also caught up. The old man regained his composure and looked at the three of them. "Which one of you little bastards destroyed my midnight snack?" Hunter pointed behind him. "He did it!" Hunter thought he was pointing at his double, but was actually pointing to TemporalFlux. Hunter kept running. The old man growled like a bear at TemporalFlux. Flux started running in the same direction as Hunter. As it turned out, Hunter was running towards the street corner, followed by Flux, followed by the old man and Alt-Hunter. TemporalFlux yelled to Hunter, "You better still have the timer, D, for all the shit I'm going through right now!" "Hey, Flux," Hunter yelled, only now aware that Flux was behind him. "S has it!" Meanwhile, S was standing alone on the street corner. He chuckled as he saw the two piles of clothes. He thought to himself at how glad he was it was Flux carrying the timer and not him. Suddenly, Hunter ran up to him. Hunter was unable to stop himself and collided with S. Both hit the ground. TemporalFlux tripped over both of them and hit the ground too. The three of them got up. The old man and Alt-Hunter were gaining on them. S asked the others, "Who are those people?" Hunter replied, "They're gonna kick our asses if we don't keep running!" "Wouldn't it be easier to just turn and hide in a back alley?" "Good idea!" Flux said. The three of them turned a corner, stepping out of the pursuers' line of sight. The pursuers turned the corner and kept on going, completely passing the three sliders, who were hiding in a back alley. S and Hunter untied Flux. "So D," Flux said. "You said S has the timer?" "Yeah," Hunter replied. "How much time do we have, S?" "I don't have it, Hunter," S said. "Flux was supposed to have it!" "I thought Hunter had it," Flux said. "But S..." Hunter paused. The three of them thought this over, then yelled simultaneously, "SHIT!!!" "Let's go check the corner," Hunter suggested. The three sliders checked the street corner where they first entered. The clothes were still there in two neat piles, but the timer was gone. Hunter and Flux put their clothes back on as they talked. "Where the hell could the timer be?" Flux asked. "If I knew," Hunter said. "Then we wouldn't be screwed, would we!" "I want out of this damn world," S said. "Today I had to see the dark side of human nature, and I don't like it!" "Damn straight," Flux said. "Couldn't agree more, man," Hunter said. "Wait a minute..." Flux said, losing himself in deep thought. "What?" Hunter inquired. "I remember..." Flux remembered. "I made a tracking device for finding the timer in circumstances like these." "So," Hunter said. "Where's the device?" "Why," Flux responded. "I simply put it in the one place we could all access, even if we had to change our clothes." "So, where would that be?" S asked. "On the timer?" "Yeah," Hunter said. "The best place for a piece of equipment would be attached to the timer." "Yep," Flux said. "So, to find the timer," S said. "We need to find the timer." "Seems simple enough," Hunter said. The three of them all thought about this for a second, then shouted in unison, "D'oh!" "Looking for something?" The three sliders turned and saw TemptressInfinity with the timer. "I found this on my break today. I suppose you three know what it does. Tell me." "We can't let her slide with us, guys," Flux said. "We have to get that timer back from her." "So we knock her out," Hunter suggested. "No way!" Flux said. "You can't hit a lady, even if she's an evil double! We have to be persuasive. We have to... Aw, fuck it." Flux punched TemptressInfinity in the eye. She hit the ground. Flux picked up the timer. In a few seconds it activated, opening a vortex. Even as Brand_S jumped in, he considered picking up his hot female double to be the fourth slider. But he jumped in anyway, and swore not to even think about looking back for five or six more slides. HunterD_Raven picked up his sword, (which, in case you're wondering, he had the whole time, but he never thought to use), finished putting his clothes back on, then jumped in, praying that somewhere out there was a Stoker_chick double who was both smart AND not currently dating a Hunter double. TemporalFlux finished putting back on his clothes and leapt in, hoping someday that there would be another clothes-free paradise... without angry old men or obsessed First Wave fans. In fact, he vowed to find a world where First Wave never saw the light of day. But he had something more important on his mind... strangling the shit out of Hunter for that little stunt with that department store Santa-looking guy.
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