Remmy: "I'm getting real tired of cooling my heels in Kromagg jail cells."

SL4: You're the one who got everyone into this, so you're the last person who should be bitching!

Remmy: "And I'll be damned if I lose any more of my friends to you sick bastards!"

TBH: Hold on there, remember who you have left. Do you really wanna risk your life for Mallory, Diana, and MAGGIE????

<Remmy stabs the first guard in the neck with the dart.>

TBH: <mimicking Kromagg guard.> : Oooooooo. I think this is CRACK! Thanks buddy. Hee hee hee, '3rd Rock From the Sun' is hilarious! That means it MUST be CRACK.

<The guard collapses immediately.>

HTWD: I always love the magical instantaneous tranquilizers and knockout potions and drugs in movies. If someone's body is so weak that they're knocked out one nanosecond after a drug hits their bloodstream, why not just "Danza slap" them unconscious?

<The falling guard hits the jail cell and the barred door slams shut.>

V62: I've never understood the way Kromaggs hold prisoners. They can keep a HEAD alive and make it open wormholes with the power of its imagination but they're locking people up with 1840's technology? What happened to forcefields or paralysis beds? The Hardy Boys could get out of this weak >:-#-ed setup!

<Remmy turns his attention to the second guard who raises his weapon.>

TBH: <mimicking Remmy> : Thanks for waiting.

<Remmy slaps the weapon out of the guard's hands.>

SL4: I don't know how much he's getting paid, but if he's letting overweight 50 year old lounge singers swat his gun out of his hand, it's too >:-#-ing much!

<The guard produces a nasty looking knife and swings it at Remmy.>

HTWD: Why pull that out? You're just going to let him slap that out too!

<The guard cuts Remmy's arm, but Remmy proceeds to beat the guard like a bad habit.>

V62: Go Remmy! Go Remmy! <V62 gets up and swings his hips in rhythm with his words> Go Remmy! Go Remmy! It's your birthday! Go Remmy!

<Remmy stands over the guard, holding the knife, murder in his eyes.>

TBH: <mimicking Tom Selleck> : Guard? Did you see the sunrise this morning?

Maggie: "Rembrandt?"

SL4: After you cut him up like a dead yak, could you ... oh, I don't know, GET US OUT OF THIS SMEGGING JAIL CELL???!!!???

Remmy: "Don't worry, Maggie. I lost the taste for killing Maggs a long time ago."

HTWD: Translation: "I'm no Tom Selleck."

<Remmy opens the cell door, and then starts to get woozy. He looks down at his wound as the others rush to his side.>

V62: Maggie? Can you kiss my booboo?

TBH: Is that what they're calling it these days?

Diana: "Find some bandages. Sheets, towels, anything."

SL4: Don't tell Mallory to find "anything" !! He'll bring back a Snoopy lunchbox or John Tesh CD or something!

Maggie: "That was some stunt you pulled."

TBH: <mimicking Remmy> : Aw, shucks. That's nothing compared to the one where you hang from the ceiling in a basket.

Remmy: "I'll die before I let that happen again. Before I do that to anyone again."

HTWD: Don't worry, stick around this show long enough and you'll certainly die!

Maggie: "Do what, Remmy?"

V62: It involves apple butter and a Pokemon doll. You really don't want to know.

<Mallory returns with a sheet.>

TBH: <mimicking Mallory> : Um, I couldn't find a lawnmower, will this sheet do?

<Diana rips the sheet and applies it to his wound.>

Remmy: "At first they kept Wade and me in the same cell."

HTWD: But then Wade sold me to Bubba in the next cell for a pack of squares, a box of cakes, and some rolling paper.

Remmy: "We knew the Maggs were listening, so we didn't talk much."

V62: We mostly smoked our mattresses and sang showtunes.

Remmy: "But it helped just seeing each other. Being together."

SL4: But then the Maggs' refusal to let us take showers began to affect our relationship.

Maggie: "Yes."

TBH: <mimicking brainiac> : Yes Alex, the question is: What is Kari Wuher's answer any time a male ages 18-88 asks her for sexual favors?

Remmy: "They split us up for questioning. I'd be gone for hours. When they finished they'd dump me back in my cell. Sometimes Wade'd be there, sometimes she wouldn't."

HTWD: She had that other gig at Sports Night by that time, remember. They kept her pretty busy.

Remmy: "They messed with my head pretty good, you know?"

V62: I've endured this season of the X-Files, so I know exactly what you mean about mind games.

Remmy: "Pumped me full of drugs,"

SL4: Ah, the Keith Richards questioning technique.

TBH: When the Kromaggs captured Keith, they tortured him by NOT pumping him full of drugs.

Remmy: "made me see things that weren't there."

TBH: The most disturbing was the cat dancing the tango with a mouse. I never understood that one.

Remmy: "After a while I didn't know if it was really Wade or some Kromagg impostor. I mean, how was I to know for sure?"

HTWD: Very simple. Tormé was gone by then, so the Kromaggs lost all subtlety and intelligence. So there wouldn't be any "Invasion" style tricks.

Maggie: "You couldn't have. We've all seen what the Maggs can do."

V62: What can they do? Be annoying? Look different every ep you see them in? Have a different hare-brained scheme for conquering the entire multiverse every other day?

Remmy: "Yeah, so I – I shut her out. She begged me to talk to her."

TBH: <mimicking Maggie> : Look, I hate to interrupt this sob story, but all I said was "Do what, Remmy?" I didn't ask for Doctor Zhivago!

Remmy: "To look at her. To say something, anything, just so she'd know she wasn't going crazy!"

HTWD: Raping her and cutting her head off wasn't enough? Did we need to know Remmy treated her like >:-# before they did it?

Remmy: "But I wasn't going to fall for some Magg trick."

V62: Excuse me, but how exactly would saying "hello" or making a little small talk be falling for a trick? I could see refusing to talk about the past with her or any crucial secrets, but she just wanted you to comment on her hair for crissakes!

SL4: No doubt! I'VE HAD IT!!! WHO WROTE THIS >:-#-ING EPISODE???

TBH: Um, looks like Michael Reaves.

SL4: GET HIM IN HERE! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A LITTLE TALK WITH HIM!!!

TBH: At the next break I'll go track him down.

SL4: Moist excellent. At the end of this ep we're going to have a heart to heart conversation with Mr. Reaves.

Remmy: "Then they took her. She screamed and fought and I – I just sat there. They said they'd send her to a breeder camp unless I talked. But I just figured it was all for show."

SL4: Boy were you wrong! By the way, just what the hell were you supposed to know???? I've never understood that. They already knew where your home world was. How could they track down any other world from what you remember? How could they find Quinn and Maggie from what you knew? What did you sell out Wade to protect? WHERE IS MICHAEL REAVES????

Remmy: "I never saw her again."

TBH: <mimicking Remmy> : Her body, I mean. I just saw her head five minutes ago.

Diana: "You didn't know it was her."

HTWD: So are we just going to sit here until the other guards wonder where their buddies are?

V62: There are no other guards. We've seen four or five Maggs all day.

Remmy: "Oh, I tried to convince myself it was a scam, you know?"

V62: No, I don't know. I've never sold out my best friend to protect useless information.

Remmy: "Some magg headgame to get me to talk. But that was all crap, and you know why?"

SL4: <sighing> : No, but I'm sure you'll spend another ten minutes telling us.

Remmy: "Because I saw the fear in her eyes as they took her away. It was her."

TBH: I'm about ready to slit my wrists here, can we wrap this up? Boy, Michael Reaves is probably the life of any party, eh? I'll bet anyone who spends a lot of time with him is mainlining Prozac.

Remmy: "So I told them everything about us and I begged them to bring Wade back."

HTWD: Oh, smooth move, tell them all this precious information AFTER they send Wade to Rape Camp.

Remmy: "Two months later you and Quinn came and got me."

V62: And two months is about how long this story is taking! <getting up> Well, I'm going to go hang myself now. Thanks guys, the next time you wanna sit around and get really depressed, forget to invite me, okay?

SL4: Sure thing.

Remmy: "And now I've let her down again."

SL4: I think she's beyond being let down at this point. The biggest letdown in her life these days is when the goldfish swim up her neck.

<Remmy gets to his feet shakily.>

Mallory: "That isn't entirely true."

TBH: So what you're saying is that it isn't entirely untrue either!

Remmy: "You shut off Wade's tranquilizer."

HTWD: You had everyone fooled with the punk bitch display you put on! Good job!

Mallory: "I figured that if you can maintain that link with her ... well, we'll need all the help we can get."

SL4: Yes, yes, fine. You did good, boy. Do you want a cookie or something???

Remmy: "Then what are we waiting for?"

TBH: Mostly for you to shut up.

<Maggie retrieves the timer from the unconscious guard>

HTWD: They let the guards transporting the prisoners carry the timer??? Not even Bond film villains are THAT stoooopid!

Maggie <to Mallory> : "You sure keep me guessing."

SL4: That's the thing about retards. You never know WHAT they'll do next!

<The Sliders leading the holding area and go down a corridor.>

TBH: Christ Almighty! Theseus didn't have to walk as many hallways as they have in this ep!!

Maggie: "Are you all right?"

HTWD: Except for this geyser of blood streaming from my arm, I am. What moron tied this tourniquet? Diana?????

Remmy: "Tranq must be wearing off. I'm starting to sense Wade again. They must have moved her."

SL4: They must need a doorstop somewhere.

Mallory: "Where?"

TBH: We're mercifully running short on time this ep, so you're going to stumble across her in a minute, never fear.

Remmy <moving to a window and looking out> : "There!"

TBH: See?

Remmy: "It's the launch control for the Manta ship! The invasion is about to get underway!"

HTWD: Don't even use that word! This ep isn't a pimple on Invasion's >:-# !!!