TBH: DON'T be like Mike! Be like anything else, NOT Mike!

Remmy: "I know you're angry."

HTWD: And I know that you said, "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

Remmy: "I know I missed some dates, but I got a good explanation for that."

SL4: I had a zit on my nose the size of a Buick. I can't go on a date with a girl looking like that!

Artie: "Oh yeah? Like what?"

TBH: It involves aliens and loooong probes, you really don't want to know the details.

Remmy: "I was touring Asia."

HTWD: I was opening for Meatloaf, which is why you haven't heard anything about it in the news.

Artie: "What're we talking about here? Outer Mongolia?"

SL4: Nah, inner Uranus.

Artie: "Lotta good R & B clubs there."

TBH: Just kiss his ass like you did in the Pilot! Nuff of this pretending to have a spine!

Artie: "Besides, if you've been touring, where's my ten percent?"

HTWD: No one gets ten percent of my ATM take, you >:-#-er! Don't make me get Midwestern on your buttocks!

Remmy: "Eight percent."

SL4: EIGHT PERCENT??? THAT IS STILL HIGHWAY ROBBERY!!! WHY DON'T YOU STILL STICK A PISTOL IN HIS MOUTH AND TAKE THE F-ING MONEY????

Artie: "Keep it down, will ya? My other clients hear about that missing two percent and they're all gonna wanna get it!"

TBH: <mimicking Mr. Burns> : Ex-cel-lent. Then it's 6 percent from now on, right????

Remmy <scanning empty room> : "Who's gonna hear?"

Artie: "You never know."

SL4: You've got a nubile teen hidden in the closet, don't you? Did I interrupt a screen test? :-P

Remmy: "I'm gonna tell you a secret, Artie."

TBH: I've been in love with you since the first moment I laid eyes on you.

Remmy: "I'm sitting on something."

HTWD: It is sharp and hurts like hell but I'm afraid to get up and see what it is.

Remmy: "And when it goes public, it'll be the biggest thing to happen to popular music this century. Hell, maybe since the dawn of time."

SL4: You're starting to sound like Terence Trent D'Arby now. You're scaring me.

Artie <staring at Remmy> : "Oy."

TBH: <mimicking Tigs> : Don't steal my catch phrase, kitten.

Artie: "You got new songs?"

HTWD: Wow! What a concept! Writing and recording new songs! Naaaa, that would never revive a decrepit career.

Kenny Rogers: Nope, that would never work.

Remmy: "Sure, I've got new songs. But that's not the half of it."

SL4: The other half is that I married Lisa Marie Presley.

HTWD: Who hasn't?

Remmy: "How's your pacemaker?"

TBH: <mimicking Artie> : What does my wife have to do with this?

Artie: "Ticking away. Why?"

HTWD: Because I'm gonna microwave six burritos. When my ego gets this huge my appetite follows.

<scene change to Quinn's phone ringing. He picks it up.> : "Hello?"

SL4: This is your heart calling. If you have one more éclair I'm quitting.

TBH: What part of the country are you from? They're called "long johns" where I'm from.

Wade <from her apartment> : "Quick! Turn on CNN."

TBH: Nude World. No problem, I believe it can happen. A world where antibiotics were never discovered, sketchy but okay. An evil Arturo, no problem. Sliding itself ... I have no problem believing that. But no one can ever convince me that Wade was sitting in her apartment with the TV turned on CNN.

SL4: Maybe CNN is on the channel on this world that QVC is on her world. An honest mistake.

Larry King: "which took the scientific community by storm this morning when he addressed an impromptu press conference on the steps of California University ..."

TBH: ... announcing he was changing his name to an unpronounceable symbol, which looks like a knife and fork crossed at the middle.

Wade: "Channel 22 ... he's on Larry King!"

HTWD: Oh. My. God. After Larry the ass kisser gets done with him, Arturo's head will be larger than the entire Baldwin family.

<Quinn turns on his TV> Arturo: "based on my calculations using my theory of the Einstein-Rosen-Podalski Bridge..."

TBH: <mimicking Larry King> : Uh-huh. That reminds me, Arturo, my new wife is gonna be old enough to drive next week and I'm excited because then she can drive me wherever I want, even across the Azure Gate Bridge if we want...

Arturo: "...I was able to journey - I referred to it as 'Sliding' - to different Earths in parallel universes."

TBH: <mimicking Larry King> : Yes, yes, so fascinating. Now back to my newborn baby, he is SOOOO cute! He's my 17th kid by my 10th wife and boy I'll tell ya, they get cuter each time...

Wade: "HIS Theory?"

HTWD: "Quinn, you told me that YOU invented Sliding! You lying stack of-." "Wade, he's lying about it being his theory and is trying to screw me." "Oh."

Wade: "He's taking credit for everything you did!"

SL4: I know it. Next we're going to see him on stage crying. It's disgraceful.

Larry King: "Helluva story."

TBH: <mimicking Larry King> : I have another story for you., Max. When I was a little boy the other boys used to stuff me in a trash can and roll me down the stairs at school. Boy, those were the days...

Larry King: "Of course, you've got to realize, there are already people – some pretty high caliber scientists out there – calling you a crackpot."

HTWD: Gasp! The Larry King on this world actually has a spine! Ours would be asking him about where he bought his wonderful tie.

Arturo: "Skepticism is to be expected when it comes to an achievement on this scale, Larry."

SL4: Translation: "They are blistering idiots and I will CRUSH them like worms on hot pavement!"

Arturo <pulling out a small arrowhead> : "This extraordinary arrowhead comes from a world where Europeans never colonized the Americas."

HTWD: And WHERE exactly has he been keeping THAT for the past year?

Quinn: "He's blowing our entire cover."

TBH: Really???? What makes you think that, Sherlock?

Wade: "You've got to call in, Quinn, you can't let him get away with this."

SL4: Yeah, that's the ticket, call in. I hope you have re-dial and nothing else to do for the next six hours.

Larry King: "We'll be taking your calls in a minute."

TBH: <mimicking Larry King> : But first, another of my extraordinarily tedious personal anecdotes.

Larry King: "Our guest is Maximillian Arturo, who a lot of people today are calling the Father of Interdimensional Travel."

HTWD: Nobody is calling him that, you butt smoocher! Not after one press conference and before any of his items can be analyzed!!!!

<scene change to the next day in a bar.> Quinn: "What am I supposed to do? Call him a liar in front of the entire world?"

SL4: Start small. Just call him a liar in front of Cleveland. You're never going to be able to get the entire world to pay attention to you at the same time anyway.

Wade: "Why not? You deserve the credit for what you did."

TBH: As well as the trillions of dollars that will come his way, right Wade?

Remmy: "She's right, Q-Ball."

HTWD: Especially since her and I have already cashed in too. :-P

Quinn: "I don't care about credit. It's the way he broke his word."

Season Four Quinn: You sissy! Who cares about hurt feelings over a broken word??? Let's go kill people and turn our backs on our friends!

Remmy: "I don't agree with the way he did it, but I'll tell you one thing. It sure put the jolt back in the Crying Man's career."

SL4: The only thing that could put a jolt back in your career is if you get Kathie Lee Gifford's press agent and Billy Ray Cyrus' luck.

Remmy: "My agent's fielding offers from three major recording labels."

TBH: <mimicking Artie> : NO. He's not going to do a duet with Céline Dion. He is a sell-out, but even HE doesn't need money THAT bad!