TBH: <snotty tone> : What WERE you thinking, ole chap?

Quinn #2: "I solved that old thing months ago."

TBH: Yessss. Because I am a much better model of Quinn than YOU, ole bean.

Quinn #2: "Now, thanks to me, you've got the answer too, and you owe me BIG, hombre."

HTWD: Wait a minute, is he Arturo's double or Quinn's double? I'm confused.

SL4: Any white man who says "hombre" is just begging to get danza slapped.

Quinn: "Thanks to you I lost my job!"

TBH: And I was just two more rebuilt computers away from getting the "employee of the month" special parking space!

Quinn #2: "Computer hell? I did you a favor."

HTWD: Oh really? Then cough up a couple hundred bucks to cover my lost pay while I look for another job, HOMBRE.

Quinn #2: "That guy Hurley's a dick on every world I've been too. Amazing."

SL4: Not amazing. Do you really think that Jack Nicholson has ONE nice double anywhere in the continuum? Some people are born to be dicks.

Quinn #2 <checks watch> : "Aw hell. I gotta go. Wife's waiting."

TBH: Oldest excuse in the book for ditching someone. She's really on Spa World getting a mud rub on her neck.

Quinn #2: "You're gonna love Sliding, Quinn."

HTWD: I guess if you define getting stuck with Colin as a brother and Pink Floyd's nerdy little brother as a mind buddy as a lovable experience, you're 100% correct.

Quinn #2: "I've been to a world where the Cubs've won three straight World Series."

SL4: Now I know he's smoking CRACK.

TBH: Next he's going to try and tell us that the Rams won a Super Bowl.

Quinn <amazed> : "Get out."

HTWD: Yeah! If you're going to lie to me so blatantly, just GET OUT.

Quinn #2: "I once stepped onto an world Earth just this side of paradise."

SL4: What? Celine Dion took up ballet instead of singing?

HTWD: No, Jerry Jones bought a hockey team instead of the Cowboys and convinced that young punk JJ-wanna-be owner of the Redskins to do the same.

TBH: No, Jerry Springer was smart enough to NOT pay a hooker with a CHECK, of all things, so he stayed Mayor of Cincinnati and his horrid show never existed.

Logan St. Clair: No, the WWF declared war on the Monster Truck Federation and the whole lot of them killed each other off.

SL4: Logan! What are you doing here?

LSC: I'm on break from the 96 fan fictions I'm appearing in this year so I thought I'd stop by for a couple minutes of riffing. There is WAY too much testosterone on this show. It's past time for female riffs. :-P

TBH: Welcome aboard. Now have a >:-#-ing seat, you're blocking the projector!

LSC: Nice to see you're in as good a mood as ever.

<projectionist starts movie again>

Quinn #2: "No pollution."

TBH: You could have no Jerry Springer and you pick no pollution instead????????????????????????????????

Quinn #2: "No crime or hate."

LSC: I might buy no crime, but no hate? What is up with this world? Prozac based water?

Quinn #2: "People were happy."

SL4: They sang and danced all the time. There were orgies at 7 and huge banquets at 9 ... oh wait, that's MY idea of paradise, never mind.

Quinn #2: "And a stranger was welcomed with love."

HTWD: And with the Mr. Rogers theme song. Despite that, there was no violence. Amazing.

Quinn #2: "No one was afraid there, Quinn. Think about it..."

LSC: Oh, so this was a world ruled by Bobby McFerrin? I get it now!

Quinn #2 <as the vortex behind him grows louder> : "I'd set the timer for 20 hours before I left home that day."

TBH: But why am I telling you how long I boil my eggs? Back to my story of paradise...

Quinn #2 <some of his words are drowned out, then> : "Not nearly enough time for a world like that."

SL4: >:-#, how much time do you really need to love thy neighbor, not be afraid, and sing campfire songs? I can cram all that into an afternoon.

Quinn #2: "I'll always keep looking."

LSC: I'm also on the lookout for the ignoramus double who Slid into my bedroom and stole my dreamcatcher! I've had erotic dreams about fish ever since. If I ever catch that >:-#-er...

Quinn #2: "Oh, and about the timer."

HTWD: Oh, so we're finished with your narcissistic bragging and your pipe dream about Hot Fudge Sundae World and NOW we get to something I might EVER need to know??????????

Quinn #2: "I gotta warn you."

TBH: Things get REALLY bizarre at the beginning of season four, and stay that way.

Quinn #2: "No matter what happens during a Slide, never ..." <drowned out>

LSC: Let Remmy eat beans AND cabbage the same day if you're sharing a room with him that night.

Quinn #2: "...the timer before it's..."

SL4: Done changing channels?

<Quinn #2 is sucked through the vortex and is gone>

HTWD: Tell Rickman I said "hi" when you see him later on!

<Quinn stands there, excitedly shaking his head>

SL4: Grrrr. I forgot to beat his >:-# for kissing Hurley.

<Quinn walks over to the phone> : "Wade, it's Quinn."

TBH: <mimicking Quinn> : No, I'm not naked. Must we go through this every time we talk on the phone?

Quinn: "I need to ask you a huge favor."

LSC: Meet me at the Road Hog biker bar and wear your tightest spandex.

<scene change to Remmy's house. On the TV is a 70's group, the Spinning Tops, singing> : "My friends ask me why I cry."

SL4: It's cuz I, too quickly, zipped up my fly.

ST: "It's cuz I feel like I wanna die."

HTWD: Cuz I'm wearing this hideous 70's tie.

ST: "These tears spring from my eye..."

TBH: Like stink pours from a pig sty.

ST: "Ever since you said good-bye."

LSC: Faster than a sausage on a plate in front of Glen Frye.

<the camera shows more of Remmy's apartment as the song continues> : "I'm gonna cry like a man."

LSC: In a closet in the back room, hidden from the world?

ST: "Hard as I can."

SL4: I'm getting ready to cry as hard as I can if they don't give us relief from this song.

ST: "And if you had a heart..."

HTWD: Then you wouldn't be a Tin Man.

ST: "Maybe you'd start to understand."

TBH: Crying hasn't been this played up by a man since Dick Vermeil retired.

Remmy: "Turn that off, will ya Artie!"

LSC: And put on some good music like Billy Ray Cyrus!

Remmy: "Don't need to be hearing any of that OLD stuff on the night of my big comeback!"

SL4: If you think that singing one of the 1,000s of national anthems performed in the US every year is coming back, then I suggest going to Vegas to perform next.

Artie: "But I love the Spinning Topps!"

HTWD: What more proof do we need that agents are the most tasteless people in the world?

Artie <muttering> : "I wish to hell you'd never left 'em."

LSC: What for? So we can have one more ancient has-been band touring every summer, charging $200 a ticket? That's what we need.

Remmy: "They ain't nothing without Rembrandt. Straight down the tubes the minutes I walked."

TBH: From where I'm sitting, you were flushed down there with them, weren't you, Peter Cetera?

LSC: <rising> : I better leave it at that. I'm due in Chapter 7 of Sherman Periwinkle, of Bumfreak, Idaho's fan fic in ten minutes.

SL4: Later!

HTWD: Arf, arf.

TBH: Don't let the vortex hit you in the >:-# on the way out.