SL4: That's nothing! The Beatles had twice that many number ones minus him!

Remmy <cracking door open and sticking his face out> : "Thirteen, and they were all flukes!"

HTWD: "C'est La Vie" hitting number one is a fluke. Thirteen number ones means you >:-#-ed up, dude.

Remmy: "What counts is The Cryin' Man's bigger and better than ever."

TBH: On some other world.

Remmy: "He won't need those has been Spinnin' Topps leaching all his glory!"

SL4: Can you guys think of anyone more out of touch with reality than him?

TBH: Michael Jackson?

HTWD: Peckinballs while freebasing mustard?

Remmy: "I'll tell ya Artie, my comeback will shock the world!"

TBH: I don't know about the entire world. How about Kansas?

Remmy: "I'll be bigger than ever."

HTWD: Get used to it. You keep gaining weight each season.

Remmy: "All my fans will be flocking to the field tonight."

SL4: Are you sure all six of them can fit in the stadium at one time?

Artie: "Remmy, you're singing the national anthem at a Giants game, not performing for the Queen."

TBH: I don't know about that. It IS San Francisco.

Artie: "It's a start. That's all."

HTWD: Not as good as a gig on the sidewalk in front of City Hall, but it's not the worst.

Remmy: "It's a rebirth!"

SL4: There are more out on control egomaniacs in this movie than at a NBA Player's Association meeting.

<Scene change to Mrs. Mallory heading towards her front door>

TBH: <mimicking her> : If this is Jehovah's Witness again I'm going to have Quinn send them to a world where Disco never faded! That'll teach 'em!

MM: "Yes?"

Wade: "Hi Mrs. Mallory. I'm Wade, I work with Quinn."

HTWD: Has your son always had Dr. Watson's powers of observation when it comes to women?

MM: "Oh. It's nice to finally meet you."

SL4: Now get out, tramp.

Arturo: "Good evening, Madam."

TBH: Cue drumroll...

Arturo: "I am Professor Maximilian Arturo."

TBH: He carries a drum set around with him for just such an occasion.

MM: "Oh isn't this an honor."

SL4: HEY! Please don't feed the ego! Can't you read the sign, lady?

MM: "My son thinks the world of you Professor."

HTWD: Of course, he thinks the world of Jason Patric, so how much taste can he have?

Arturo: "I'm afraid we've had a bit of a falling out."

TBH: He made fun of grits and I lost control of myself.

Arturo: "You see, Quinn behaved rather badly today."

SL4: Fine. Get him in trouble with his mom on top of everything else.

Arturo: "and this young lady assures me that it was an aberration and that he's terribly distraught."

HTWD: And your ego assured you that you could stomach one more supplicant begging your forgiveness today before retiring to a dinner of Beef Wellington and a Different Strokes marathon.

Wade: "May we come in?"

TBH: Can you wait out here a minute? You caught me in the middle of gutting a yak.

<Wade and Arturo come down the steps to the basement and gape in amazement at Quinn's equipment.>

Arturo: "What in the world?"

SL4: So this is where all my paper clips have been disappearing to! BAD Quinn!

Wade: "Wow, the bat cave."

HTWD: Sadly, with Sports Night in her future, lines like that were actually as good as it gets for Sabrina Lloyd.

Quinn: "Oh great. Great. Come in. Make yourselves at home."

TBH: There are Icypops in the microwave I converted into a freezer. Help yourself.

Quinn: "I'll be with you in a second."

SL4: I just have to finish removing this mole. Um, you'd better stand a little more back if you don't want to get any of it on you.

Arturo: "My time is valuable, Mr. Mallory. Don't insult me by wasting it."

HTWD: I wouldn't dream of it! There are so many more fun ways to insult you, you conceited bagpipe.

Arturo: "If you have something to say to me, I..."

TBH: -'m reluctantly willing to allow you to grovel for my forgiveness. A prone position whilst begging renders the best results.

Arturo <noticing the chalkboard with the equation> : "My good Lord."

SL4: WHO'S YOUR DADDY NOW???? WHO'S YOUR DADDY???????

Wade: "Professor? Uh, Quinn, maybe you better get over here."

HTWD: And bring your camera! It is not often the Professor is speechless! We need proof!

Quinn <looking over> : "Oh that. Yeah I can explain. One sec."

TBH: Just three more levels of this Pac Man vs Donkey Kong game to go! I RULE!!!

Arturo: "You've done it."

SL4: The perfect recipe for Chipped Beef Gravy. I LOVE you!!!!

Wade: "Done what?"

HTWD: It. Weren't you listening?

Wade: "What's he done?"

HTWD: <sighing> : IT!!!!!!!

Wade: "What're you looking at? What is this?"

TBH: A chalkboard!!!! Are you impaired in some way?

Arturo: "Young lady, that is the Sistine Chapel."

SL4: No it's not!!!! Can anyone in this movie recognize an F-ing chalkboard????? Am I going insane???

Arturo: "A Puccini Opera."

HTWD: A what opera?

SL4: I assume he means some kind of good opera, which is impossible.

TBH: Giacomo Puccini was an Italian opera composer, you uncivilized swine.

Arturo: "And the Taj Mahal. By God, it's the Holy Grail..."

HTWD: Wouldn't it be quicker to just list what special fables, works of art, and wonders of the world this chalkboard ISN'T???

Arturo: "...of physics and it is in the basement of this unkempt-."

TBH: You noticed too, eh?

Arturo: "-unassuming-"

HTWD: YOU would find that offensive, wouldn't you?

Arturo: "-unpublished-"

SL4: HEY!!!! What's wrong with being unpublished????????????????? All the cool authors are unpublished!

Arturo: "-unfortunately brilliant boy's house! How the HELL did YOU solve this?"

TBH: Well, actually it was my doub- ... Oh, that old thing? I solved it while I was on the john. I'm going to solve the Continuum problem the next time I get bored.

Quinn: "Wait. It gets better." <holds up remote control> "A lot better."

HTWD: Ooooooo. We're going to watch Turner and Hooch?