what if u flew to a paralel uinverse where dorky and david plech n pah were unstuck? what if dorky was funny? and what if the unstuck dorky/plech turned into meatloaf and wrote episodes?
3 days later, the sliders enter L.A., and decides to go to a coffee shop for breakfast, as Maggie begins to read the news paper, Remmy tells Colin, he hasn't had good pancakes since he left home. Then Quinn says that his mom use to make them for him as a kid, and Colin told them he never had pancakes before, so Remmy ordered him some too, and Colin was willing to try them.
Comprehensive alternate histories:
"Well back in '42 Germany attacked most of central europe, and even my own country Spain, then they attacked the U.S., and now in the late 90's here we are".
Colin speaks up by telling the man, he shouldn't do these kinds of things but the man told Colin to shut up, and then kicked him in the face, and Colin shut up.
As morning came Quinn woke, and knew he was still acting as his double, Daelin kissed him, and they had sex, and after that she went down for coffee and he got into the shower, and went down to breakfast in a dark blue suit, and Daelin told him he looked attractive, but then he sat and ate.
...and hard SF:
"you guys must be out of towners, its been like this ever since the asteroid hit a nuclear power plant nearby, and with it being so hot, no one has slept in, I say at least 45 years."
Prepare for adventures beyond imagination. You are entering... the Fourth Season Machine.
401 | War Zone
402 | Logan's Day
403 | Common Ground
404 | The Spinning Topps
405 | Impossible Things
406 | Control
407 | Anti Grav
408 | Blank Faces
409 | Prime Factors
410 | California Reich
411 | World Of The Amish
412 | De Ja Slide
413 | A Time To Heal
414 | Terrorist U.S.A
415 | Back Step
416 | Femaggs
417 | Altered History
418 | Ship of Dreams Pt 1
419 | Ship of Dreams Pt 2
420 | Insomnia
421 | Know Your Enemies
422 | Confederacy
The First Three Seasons: A Retrospective
What, those weren't putrid enough? You're in luck. Check out this two-part 4SM pastiche... so bad, even Dorky swears he didn't write it!
421-B | Slidewave
422-B | Uncommon Ground
Looking Backwards: Another Retrospective
So, the Sliders' encounters with Hitler, sex-starved Amazon Kromaggs and generally horrible grammar weren't enough? Hang on for the mind-blowing follow-up season, highlights of which include Remmy sleeping with Colin's female double and a guest shot by Pamela Anderson as Wade. All this, and we find out who the Robed Man from the S4 pilot REALLY was: Cristi Conway from "Timecop." Bring Gravol.
As Laura opens the door, she see's Jacob and a woman in the shower making love "excuse me"... "uh sure, I'll be right out"
Ruminations on the nature of Sliding:
"did anyone just notice this, but that same man on his bike just rode past here, and that same woman was at the counter, when we walked in" Remmy comments "she might be someone that eats alot" Quinn says.
...and forays into the Undiscovered Country:
"that was weird, I thought I died for a second, but I just have a headache"
The Fourth Season Machine's Season Five. 'Cause you can't get too much of a bad thing.
501 | Home Slide Home
502 | Revealing Oneself
503 | Airborne
504 | Killing Field
505 | Scavenger Hunt
506 | New Lives
507 | Bird Call
508 | Fearful Awakenings Pt 1
509 | Fearful Awakenings Pt 2
510 | High Society
511 | Faceless Names Pt 1
512 | Faceless Names Pt 2
513 | Brain Teasers
514 | Wrongful Path
515 | Different Turn
516 | Old Crossings
517 | Sliding With The Enemy
518 | Mutants Among Us
519 | Double Jeopardy Pt 1
520 | Double Jeopardy Pt 2
521 | Slide2K
522 | New Opportunities
523 | Down Under
524 | Dust
525 | Revengeful Acts
Recap: The Story So Far
Oh boy! Dorky #2 is also back for another season... er, seasoning. Enjoy the crapful goodness, folks... it's government-subsidized.
501-B | Brekfast at Shawn's
You thought he'd given up. You thought we'd never hear from Jacob, Laura, Sara, Mr. Dansforth, and the whole crazy gang again. Never to cringe at another gratuitous breakfast scene inserted as useless filler...
Well, you HOPED, anyway. Nevertheless, the Pokejedservo of the Sliders world is back for more.
"yeah, its warm and soft to eat." Shauna states in a sexualized manner.
"um.... sure, why not." Joe says.
"sure, its always the women to get the jobs. Fine, if we have to be whores, you will have to get the job in the next world."
"deal." Quinn states.
And yet MORE kinky sex:
"yeah sure, love this idea, how would you like yogurt down your pants!"
Dorky's Season Six. It's okay, dude... you can stop now.
601 | New Alliances
602 | Changes
603 | Sliders Law
604 | El Cinco De Mayo
605 | Ghosts in the Wormhole
606 | 99ers
607 | Shortcuts
608 | Top Secret
609 | Second Chances Pt 1
610 | Second Chances Pt 2
611 | False Representation
612 | A Part Of You Is Waiting At Home
613 | Prisonslide
614 | A Post War Slide
615 | Ultimate Revenge Pt 1
616 | Ultimate Revenge Pt 2
617 | Ultimate Revenge Pt 3
618 | Ultimate Revenge Pt 4
Hey, where are you going? We aren't finished YET. We still don't know how recently Rembrandt has enjoyed the delicious succor of ribs, whether El Sid was a marijuana fiend, or what Sliders would be like if Wade turned into Alicia Witt from "Cybill."
Such are the issues raised by Dorky's other sixth season, which picks up from "The Seer."
In case you're wondering, it sucks too.
U-601 | New Beginnings
U-602 | A Slider Led Into The Slaughter
U-603 | An Invisible Enemy
U-604 | Relationship Interrupted
U-605 | Sliding Out Of Town
U-606 | Influenced By Dimensional Travel
U-607 | Selfish Term
U-608 | A What If Situation
U-609 | One Sickness Hurts Another
U-610 | Change of Scenary
U-611 | Where The Past Comes Alive
U-612 | What Your Sliding For
U-613 | A Love Slide
U-614 | Enemies ... Used To Be Friends
U-615 | A Friend Unable To Stick Around
U-616 | The Final Conflict Part 1
U-617 | The Final Conflict Part 2
U-618 | Adding On ... To Death With
U-619 | The Way Life Was
U-620 | To Take The Pain Away
U-621 | Time Travelers
U-622 | Three Minds Are A Crowd
U-623 | Looking Back
U-624 | An Ending Without A Conclusion
The author's imagination is at the top of its game...
"Hey, look guys, theres going to be a concert in the San Francisco Green Gate Bridge Park. And look who the band is"
"Wade Welles and The Rock Stars"
The speculative history is up to its usual high calibre...
"I guess this world's Concord Hotel is backwards from the ones we usually go to. Instead of going to the front desk on the left side, we must go to the one on the right side"
...and the dialogue is at its naturalistic best:
"You mean that woman is Quinn's double? Thats funny" Joe and Laura start laughing, but stop when Quinn exits the bathroom and joins them.
"I would agree that it's funny"
Dorky's Season Seven. Because what other fanfic would feature Kate Moss, God, and Dirk Benedict as a talking bear?
701 | Choices
702 | Two Minds Are Better Than One
703 | A Royal Slide
704 | Quinn's Birthday Wish
705 | Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow
706 | Quantum Slide Part 1
707 | Quantum Slide Part 2
708 | Double Roles
709 | God's Machine
710 | Flashbacks
711 | Finding A Way Off
712 | Addictions
713 | Facing The Past
714 | Ape World
715 | A Slider's Revenge
716 | A Societal Error Part 1
717 | A Societal Error Part 2
718 | A Long Road Ahead
Meanwhile, Dorky's other series on the USA network is churning out, if this is even possible, the worst episodes yet. From his carefully disguised homages to other franchises...
A large cubed vessel closens in by them and contacts the scouting vessel with an audio message only, with their message "We are the Borg, you will be assimulated, resistance is crucial to your well being"
... to his radical new take on Colin...
Colin tells the guy that he really is enjoying it, since it was his first time, but wonders why a man must stick his pickle up another guy's butt. The man tells Colin that was the only possible way to have sex.
...to Maggie's ongoing application of her military training...
Maggie runs into the area, yelling out that she was here to party, and starts dancing, while touching herself all over her body, and soon begins undressing. The men get interested while the women are surprised of this new situation but still watch.
...these stories constitute an altogether new kind of low. Enjoy!
U-701 | A Conflicting War
U-702 | Job Seekers
U-703 | Saving Humanity
U-704 | Shadowed Past
U-705 | The Witch Hunt
U-706 | A Slide Of Life Or Death
U-707 | Leaving Behind The Past
U-708 | Repeaters
U-709 | Prophecies
U-710 | Outpost 82
U-711 | Reunion
U-712 | Spaceslide Part 1
U-713 | Spaceslide Part 2
U-714 | Beneath The Surface
U-715 | Family Values
U-716 | Reality
U-717 | A Past Event ... The Future
U-718 | The Old And The New
U-719 | Fixed Problems
U-720 | A Very Public Slide Part 1
More showers! More breakfasts!
By the following morning, as the sliders begin to awake and move around, Joel returns from his morning jog and tells the others that after his shower he would meet them in the dining room downstairs for breakfast.
More of Colin's naïveté!
Wade stops a couple of kids on bikes, near the sidewalk they are on, asking where the local library was. The boy points that it was two blocks straight ahead, but would need money since he was asked a question. Colin gives the kid a twenty, but the kid tells Colin that he was a joke and rides off with his friend, crumpling up the bill, and dropping the twenty on the ground and Colin bends down to get it, placing it back in his wallet.
More of Colin's naïveté with regards to breakfast!
Colin asks the chief if he had anymore food to eat since he hates skipping breakfast. The chief states that he could eat some bark, since that never hurt anyone. Colin heads to a tree and pulls off a piece of bark; before Colin takes a bite, the chief laughs, telling Colin that he was trying out humor and tosses him some jerky, with Colin smiling and then taking a bite out of some real food.
Why, it can only mean that Dorky's eighth season is underway! Somebody, please, shoot me.
U-801 | A Very Public Slide Part 2
U-802 | 400 Miles Isn't Far Enough
U-803 | The Shaky State
U-804 | Mislead Freedom
U-805 | Deception
U-806 | Equal Opportunity
U-807 | American Natives
U-808 | Honor Thy Soldier Part 1
U-809 | Honor Thy Soldier Part 2
U-810 | An Adventure Of A Lifetime
U-811 | Lucky 13
U-812 | Sliding Prey
U-813 | Wounds
U-814 | Planting Season
U-815 | Missing Person's Report
While coding these pages, I listened to the Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel, Savage Garden, The Offspring, and the insistent nagging of my own conscience that I was doing something horribly, horribly wrong.