Earth 117  Story Cave  Gate Haven 

 SG-30   "Strange Eons" 
 GameMaster  SGTorch
 URL  1217/74 
[ 0 ]
Story Game #30::: starts here::: SGTorch 5/22/01
Tigs: HK!

SpaceTime: HK, we need to talk.

Tigs: Back off, SpaceBoy. You know I asked him first.

SpaceTime: No, I asked him on IM before you posted.

Tigs: No, you didn't. I IMed him first.

SpaceTime: Yes, I did.

Tigs: I was first.

SpaceTime: No, I was.

MissingSliderRyan: I want to be first!

Tigs and ST: Too late, missy!

BritSlider: Look look. There has to be a better way for settling this.

All four looked around.

All 4: HK!!!!!!!!!!!

Torch <voice of Sabrina Lloyd>: What's with the God-damned yelling?!?!

ST: Hey, have you seen HK?

Torch: ...Yes I have.

Tigs: Cool, where is he?

---

HK, holding a large suitcase shows up in front of a door to a huge condo and rings the doorbell. A few seconds later, David Peckinpah opens the door, wearing only a robe.

Pecker: Ah, If it isn't "Resident Slider" himself. Glad you can make it.

HK <holding back urge to lunge at him>: Well, you called me sir.

Kari <from bedroom>: Who is it honey?

Pecker: Don't worry, it's just a business call. <looks back at HK> Well, come in, come in.

--------

Torch: Peck called him about the further developments of "Resident Slider". Oh and Brit, HK borrowed your DSE for the occasion, saying something about buying paint spray and spraying "It was all a dream" on the bastards back. He said he'll bring it back.

BS: Sure, leave me with the evidence. >:-(

Torch: HK said that he'll be back soon, but for the time being, I'm in charge. And there still the "Enter the Duck" premiere to get to. Oh... before I forget.


Tigs
Recall317
MissingSliderRyan
Blinker ( Welcome Back Man! :-D )
ThomasMalthus
CoolSlider
Yeontoo
SouthernSlider (quack! quack!)
Jenneration_X
SpaceTime
HurriKain
DieselMickeyDolenz
SweetOne
BritSlider

Tigs: See? HA-HA! I told you.

ST: Grrr...

Torch: Oh yeah, one more thing. HK said that SpaceTime should go first on the next game amd MSR would lead #32.

MSR: Sounds Fair.

Meanwhile, CoolSlider was at the concession stand gobbling on Goobers and Chocolate Almonds.

Con. Manager: Uh, sir... those are for the premiere.

CoolSlider: So, I'll eat while I'll wait. Go sweep some popcorn or something.

Tigs, roll 'em.



[ 1 ]
*yawn* Tigs 5/23/01
"Ok, all I need is a plot. Once I have a plot, then I need sliders. Hmmmm. I wonder if they'd let me get away with totally different sliders? Yeah, that's it!" Tigs continued to talk to herself as she sat outside the cave oblivious to anything else. "Don't want to use the preggers plot, gotta use that in a fanfic. Hmm. Could I salvage anything from it?"

Blinker stood behind Tigs with two tall glasses of lemonade. He shifted from foot to foot thinking when one of the very full glasses sloshed just a little over the rim. Tigs looked up and smiled as the lemonade trickled down the back of her neck, "lemonade?" he offered with a weak smile.

"Sure thing," Tigs scooted over so he could sit, "glad you're back."

"Thanks, so what are you going to do?"

"No idea."

The two sat in companionable silence for awhile, sipping their lemonades. "What do you think about Mallory, Quinn, Logan, and Colin?"

"Too many Mallory genes in that combination," the tuft bopped as he picked up a pebble and tossed it over the edge of the precipe.

"Grrrrr. Oh, how about Diana, Maggie, and Wade?"

"Ugh. Too much estrogen."

"All the boys?"

"Group'd be too big. Why not the first four?"

"Boring and overdone."

"What about the final four?"

"I repeat, booooooooring. And overdone."

MSR poured blended lemonades into their glasses as she joined them, "Henry, flame, Michele, and Sid?"

"Yuck," Blinker and Tigs exclaimed in unison.

"The lemonade or the sliders?"

"The sliders," Blinker stated, "bitter."

"Ok, table the sliders. I need a plot," Tigs mused again, "huh, perhaps I should go with the whole injured sliders on a low tech world."

"Isn't that going to be part of your new fic?" Recall joined the group.

"Yeah, same reason preggers is out," Tigs curled her upper lip in frustration.

"We have four of the greatest minds that have ever put pen to fanfic," Recall grinned as he snagged the lemonade pitcher as took a swallow, "yum."

"I need something," Tigs downed the rest of her glass, "any more?" She looked at MSR and Recall hopefully.

Recall quickly wiped the lemonade mustache off, "last to arrive, first to refill," he hit the bar and was back before anyone had a chance to thank him for volunteering. "What would Torme do?"

"Thanks for the refill, but maybe we need a crossover," MSR sipped her freshly filled, blended lemonade.

"Oh, Dark Angel's finale is tonight," Tigs looked hopeful.

"I was thinking X-Files--" MSR started.

"Or Highlander," Recall added.

"Whatever," MSR turned to Tigs, "you could use Ratboy and Duncan," at that MSR lost all semblance of rational thought and drooled into her drink. The other three turned away in disgust.

"She'll snap out of it in about ten minutes," Tigs told them, "back to the grind. Plot? Sliders?"

All three found themselves watching the sunset over the beach front below them. . .

øøøøø

Jessa watched in startlement as a rift opened in front of her. Purples, blues, greens--all of the deepest hues played chaotically with each other. Slowly the rift widened, or perhaps it only seemed slow. As it widened it formed a circle. Automatically she backed slowly, carefully away from the rift. Her feet caught the closest edge of her laundry basket, but she barely noticed the sharp pain as her butt hit the ground. Three figures flew out of the rift and tangled themselves in her full clothesline. "Damn," Jessa muttered unsure of whether it was for the ruined laundry or the shock of the abrupt arrivals.

Slowly the three strangers unwound themselves from sheets, jeans, and clothing lines. "Good Lord," the taller, younger man gasped, "at least her underwear wasn't up," he gave Jessa a cheeky smile.

The woman propped herself up on an arm, "I don't feel like getting up yet," she promptly sprawled back on the ground and clothes.

"Who are you?" Jessa pushed herself up and absently shoved a few towels back into the cracked basket.

"Oh," the young man stood up as his smile turned sheepish, "I'm Quinn Mallory. He pointed the the woman who had spoken earlier, "that's our wife, Maggie, and her primary husband, Conrad."

"Oh," the one word, drawled out in such a fashion covered a range of emotions. Jessa's jaw worked silently as words failed to form and gush forth.

"Hey baby," a female familiar to the sliders walked out of the house. "Who're these?" the final word lifted in a lovely lilt.

"Right," Jessa seemed to have a thing for drawing out words at the moment, "Lo, meet Quinn, Conrad, and their wife Maggie," Jessa turned to Logan Mallory with a raised eyebrow.

"Sweet Mothers," Logan walked over to the sliders and started pulling dirty laundry from around the sliders. "This is going to get interesting." Before she could help herself Logan doubled over in laughter.

"Thanks," Jessa's minor irritation was becoming obvious, "thanks a lot sweety." She walked over to Logan and lightly swatted her on the back of the head, "we are responsible for them until the leave. You are leaving aren't you?" Jessa asked Quinn.

Quinn looked inquiringly at Maggie as Conrad helped her up, "give me a minute," Maggie groaned. Once she was fully up she grabbed the timer from her inner coat pocket and peered at it, "looks like three months," she rolled her eyes.

"We have to host these three for three months," Logan quickly stopped laughing at that sobering news. "We can't do that? We can't afford that socially, financially, or any other ally." Her blue eyes appealed to Jessa.

Jessa turned her back on her partner and the three strangers. She absently ran a hand through her long, black hair. She and Logan had managed to secure prime dwelling space in San Angel, but people were going to notice the strangers. How was she going to explain it? Thoughtfully Jessa turned and really examined the gregarious Quinn, the exhausted Maggie, and the silent Conrad.

Logan looked at Jessa with an emotion bordering on trepidation, "Jess, baby, I don't like that look."

"Aw, hunny," Jess smiled too sweetly, "this will be just fine."

Gingerly Logan approached Jessa, "you know the rules. How are you going to avoid the Mercs?"

Slinging an arm around Logan, Jessa pulled her towards the three sliders, "Welcome to our home," at the emphasis on the pronoun all three sliders looked rather uncomfortable, "don't get me wrong. Logan and I have an arrangement that keeps the Mercs off our backs and allows us this beautiful home."

Picking up on Jessa's thoughts, as she was so apt to do, Logan continued, "while you are here you will adapt yourselves to fit into the arrangement. If you can't deal, find someplace else to crash."

"Woah," Maggie held up one hand as her husbands flanked her, "what arrangement and what exactly do you expect out of us?"

"You work the book store with us and tell anyone who asks that you are learning the business so that you can open a store up north," Logan ticked off a point on her forefinger, "you claim to be their Wendy."

Before Logan could tick off that point Conrad softly interjected, "what's a Wendy?"

"A woman who bears children for male partners," Jessa tensed, waiting for an explosion.

"Oh my," Conrad whistled softly, "what kind of a strange world have we landed in?"

"All of our safety depends on us carrying this through," Jessa hoped Maggie understood the severity of the situation.

øøøøø

"Wow," MSR looked at the finished seg.

"This is going to be fun," Recall grinned evilly.

"Tigs," Blink pulled her shoulder and turned her towards him, "did you mean to make so ... " his voice trailed.

"Interesting," ST laughed maniacally and yelled for Jenn.

"At least I'm next, in fact, we all are long before they get to it," Recall offered.

"Yeah," MSR looked at the seg again, "hey! Mercs!"

"Just for you girly," Tigs lifted a fresh glass of blended lemonade in a silent toast.

"Excuse me," SL4 led a small contingent up to Recall, Tigs, Blink, and MSR.

"What?" Tigs asked.

"I'm not in the skit as per my contract," as he searched for the lengthy legal document Recall spiked the next batch of lemonade while Blinker added fairy dust.

"You are in now man," Blink offered Pie-boy a glittering pepperoni pizza.



[ 2 ]
Y'all come back now, ya hear! Recall317 5/25/01
Blinker, MissingSliderRyan and Recall317 looked over what Tigs had written.

"Hmmm...this one is a puzzler, " said Blinker. "She's stripped you of all familiar territory. You're going to have to actually think about this next segment."

"Yep, two husbands, lesbian overtones... I don't think you'll be able to fall back on your extensive knowledge of obscure pop culture to pull you out of this one," said MSR.

"Oh yeah?" said Recall. "You just watch me..."

*******

[To the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies]

Oh once upon a time there was a man named Quinn
A poor physics student doing everything he can,
Searching for anti-grav, he hit upon an ace
Lo and behold, there was a hole in time and space

Wormholes, that is...
Vortexes...
Einstein-Rosen bridges...

Maggie and Conrad were grinnin' ear to ear
Quinn said, 'Let's move far away from here!
Other dimensions are where we want to be
Ones that don't frown on polygamy.'

Multiple husbands, that is...
Ménage à trois...
The Tennessee Valley Treat...

********

"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"

"Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Tigs was beating Recall over the head with his own manuscript. She continued to whack him as she told him how he would continue the piece, punctuating each word with a swat of the story.

"You...(Ow!)...are...(Ow!)...going...(Ow!)...to...(Ow!)...write...(Hey, you gave me a paper cut!)...this...(It's bleeding!)...seriously!"

"Ok, ok. Give me back that story," said R317. "I'll try to keep it sane."

"Thank you," said Tigs, smiling sweetly.

********

Quinn and Conrad were staring at the bed in the guest room- queen size.

"This is going to be a tight fit," said Quinn, with a slight smirk.

"The floor is yours, my friend."

"I was afraid of that."

Quinn dropped back on to the bed, arms out in a spread eagle. The bed let out a mighty creak as the sunlight from the window lit up the dust swirling around him. Quinn lay silent for a moment thinking, summing up his situation. 'It's just too easy,' he thought. He looked up at Conrad.

"Did you find it just a little bit strange that our hosts didn’t seem too concerned about where we came from?"

"The thought had crossed my mind."

"I mean, it's one thing not to go running off screaming. It's another to immediately declare us their new housemates for the next three months."

"Maybe this world welcomes strangers. That's the way our world used to work back in ancient times."

"Doubtful. You heard what Jessa said about Mercs. This world isn't nearly that friendly."

"What do you think the Mercs are? Mercenaries?"

"Maybe," Quinn said. "Could be an acronym for something too. Won’t know unless we go looking for one."

Conrad didn't like the look in Quinn's eye. His adventurous nature had gotten the three into more scrapes than he'd care to recount. It was time to reign the boy in. Conrad was, after all, the cautious one.

"Not so fast, Cortez. For once, could we at least attempt to lay low and not terribly inconvenience those who try to help us. Our best bet is to just stay put until the women get back. Maggie's on top of it."

Quinn sighed.

"That's just the way she likes it."

---

"You do know how to operate a register," asked Logan.

"I think I can manage," replied Maggie, hitting the amount-tendered button. She found being reduced to a store clerk a bit degrading, although no more degrading than her new alias as a baby incubator. The least Logan could do was not make her feel like an idiot in front of the customers.

"Thank you, please come again," she said, barely mustering a smile.

The customer grabbed his wrestling magazines and departed "Al's House o' Books."

******

"'Al's House o' Books'?!" cried Tigs. "I let that Quinn quip slide, but I will not let you call the store 'Al's House o' Books."

"How about 'Big Al's Love Shack o' Porn'?" said R317. "Ow! Quit hitting me!"

******

The customer grabbed his home and gardening magazines and departed "A Novel Idea."

"So who came up with the lame store name?" asked Maggie. "You?"

Logan scoffed. "Some twit back east, probably. This is a chain bookstore with outlets all across the country. If I had my way we'd do things a lot differently, but the arrangement and all."

'Ahhhh, yes,' thought Maggie. 'The all important arrangement that was vital to our survival yet no one would talk about.'

"However, we do like to add personal touches," added Logan. The store had an extensive selection of blank books and other little treats for the aspiring poets and novelists of the community. They were also doing a thriving business if the traffic of shoppers in the few short hours Maggie had been here were any indication. Jessa had been tied up with customers since they had arrived and with a line forming, Logan took over the register. Maggie took the opportunity to do a bit of browsing. First stop, the do-it-yourself home surgery section.

******

"Ahem!" said Tigs

******

First stop, the almanacs.

******

Recall threw down the pen and kicked back in his hammock chair.

"That's it?" said MSR. "You barely did anything!"

"I…uh…named the bookstore," said Recall.

"Gee, thanks, I'm forever in your debt," said MSR.

"At least he stayed on course," Blinker helpfully suggested.

"Only because I beat him silly!" yelled Tigs.

MSR shook her head.

"Just give me the manuscript."


R317



[ 3 ]
Did someone call me? MissingSliderRyan 5/28/01
MSR read through the manuscript once more.

"Stop stalling," Tigs ordered. "No killing of my characters either."

"What's the matter, MSR? Can't follow up my brilliant writing?"

"Brilliant as Kari in her performance in Kiss Your Tonsils Goodbye," quipped Blinker as he watched SL4 eat the pizza.

MSR stared at Blinker. "That bitch was on my man!"

"See that'll always get her started," whispered Blinker to Recall.

"Hey, Ratboy's dead," a smirking Recall added.

"He's not! Recall, your segment it toast!" she replied with *that* smile.

She grabbed a ream and started to write.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Maggie picked an aisle and wandered down it. A rainbow colored journal caught her eye as she scanned across the shelf. She eased it out of its position and turned to a page.

“Wow, a poetry book.” She looked up and down the aisle, looking for a place to sit.

A corner cubbyhole with a plush rattan couch with fluffy pillows beckoned her. She sat sideways; curling her legs around her and began reading.


My Journey

Existing in a living hell
Tortured day and night
Almost sold my soul
For a few hours of rest
Temptations so great
That I prayed for death

One day I was rescued
Finally my guardian angels
Coming to my aid
Liberating me from agony
Taking me into the light

The Hawk
Named for his face
A leader among men
Sorrowful and kind-hearted
But angry and bloodthirsty too
Always planning on the future

The Owl
The wise one amongst them
The voice of reason
Courage, honor and knowledge
All rolled in one
A good man

The Tiger
Her raven black hair
Cut at her shoulder
A thief she is
Sometimes stealing in plain sight
Often the bringer of pain to the Owl

The Cardinal
His red curly hair
Matched his youth
Impetuous, adventurous, foolhardy
So eager to grow up
Sometimes too easy to fool

We vanished into the night
Without a trace
Travelling to distant lands
Always thinking of home
Hoping one day to reach it

Finding a world in need
What were our five lives worth
When hundreds needed saving?
We sacrificed our way home
Now we wait for other travelers

We watched as the others left
Sadness in our hearts
Joy in theirs
Their journey just beginning
Mine was the beginning of the end

My journey has been difficult
The others can only watch
My agony, my pain, my nightmares
Waiting for the time
When I can be healed
In mind, heart and spirit

Making sacrifices in my name
Consciences wracked with guilt
Delivering pain to those left
Promising that it will end
Praying for a miracle
Hoping for the future

No other choice than
Stay on this course
Too late to change it
For death stands on all sides

I’ve told them to save themselves
Leave me and go home
A promise was made
Together we will stay
Till the bitter end

Will I see another day, a week or year?
Will I see another sunrise?
Will I see it snow?
Will I find true love?

Why do I torture myself?
To dream of another day
To seek that which can’t be found
To hope when all is lost
To live instead of to exist


*Maggie, get a grip on yourself. Okay, string theory… think Maggie… What’s string theory? Uh… can’t think… so sad… so lost… I want to go home… Stop it Maggie!*

“What’s wrong?” asked Jessa as she saw a softly sobbing Maggie. Maggie wiped away her tears as she handed the book to Jessa who scanned it.

Jessa raised her eyebrow alarmed. “This wasn’t supposed to be here. Where did you find it?”

Maggie pointed in the direction of the blank journals. “What’s wrong?”

A nervous Jessa glanced around them to see if there was anyone nearby then walked down a couple of aisles. No prying eyes or ears were found. Nevertheless, she pulled Maggie into the office with Logan silently watching them, asking and receiving the reason in her sister’s eyes.

“Maggie, that was written by one of the mercs… a woman… uh… her name is…”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“I say we go now! I want out of here,” the shorthaired man exclaimed as he sprawled on the couch, an open beer in his hand. His hawk-like face momentarily contorted in anger before peaceful contemplation replaced it once again.

“We can’t do that, we promised her,” the red-haired one ventured from the kitchen. “We can’t just let her die.”

His peaceful contemplation was broken when his can was empty. “Blah, blah, blah, you always say that, young one. You haven’t been around as long as we have. You need to learn to survive.” He threw the can into the huge pile in the corner.

“No, Methos, someone helped us before. Now we have to repay that debt,” the wise one remarked, twisting a Celtic hair tie around his long black hair.

Out of the kitchen, Rich swooped, bearing more beer. He tossed a six pack to Methos “Mac’s right. We all made that promise long ago. We *have* to keep it.”

“So it’s two against one eh? Isn’t that against the rules?” Methos quipped right before he downed his favorite drink.

The opening of a bedroom door ushered the men into silence. The news wasn’t good from the long sad face of their friend.

“She’s still hanging on. When she writes, she seems to be feeling better,” she answered as she went to Mac. “We should have slid with the others,” lamented Amanda as she took the beer he kept for her.

“I’m with her.” Methos threw another empty into the growing pile.

Mac shook his head. “You would. No, that would have destabilized the vortex. We couldn’t risk it. It was the right choice.”

“How do you know for sure, Mac? You didn’t try to…”

Mac stared hard at him. “Rich, we didn’t have time. What’s done is done. I did what I could do at that time. I wish I could have done more.”

“Stop it all of you,” came a voice from the bedroom.

Their attentions snapped to the open door where a sickly red-haired woman stood. “The right choice was made. It was the *right* choice.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“… her name is…” Jessa’s darted around the room, terror written on her face.

“Jessa, who is she? Is she the reason why? Jessa? What?” Maggie shook her by the shoulder, trying to snap her out of it. “Come on, Jessa.”

Maggie lowered her into the nearest chair then hit the intercom. In her calmest voice, she announced. “Price check on a journal. Price check on a journal.”

She pressed a button on her watch, activating the comm system connecting her to Conrad and Quinn. “Guys, get to the bookstore. Something really bad is going on here.”

The door opened to a bewildered Logan. “What’s wrong?”

“Jessa, she just froze. I showed her this,” explained Maggie, handing over the journal.

Logan scanned it as Maggie continued working on Jessa.

Logan swallowed. “Uh… this was written by Wade Welles.”

“Wade? Isn’t that a guy’s name?” questioned three voices in unison.

Maggie and Logan glanced at the door. “We’re here.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“You keep repeating it’s the right choice and pretty soon you’ll believe it.” Methos worried more about himself than the others, but he wasn’t going to tell them.

“Let’s get back to bed, sweetie,” Amanda went to her. “Come on, now. You have to keep your strength up.” Amanda added in her best mother hen voice she could muster.

The three men watched as Amanda dutifully helped her friend back to bed. They waited until the door was shut to continue their conversation.

“She can’t go on living like this,” contemplated Rich as he watched the light reflecting on his beer can.

Mac began to pace. “She can and she will as long as she has hope. And hope is what we are going to give her.”

“But this charade we’ve been playing isn’t going to last forever. They’ll find out sooner or later. We can’t force them to have children, hoping that one of them is going to match her. This sucks!” Rich threw his can at the wall, spilling beer all over the place.

*If they only knew* thought Methos as he looked at the mirror.

Three months earlier…

Methos was at the lake staring at his reflection, contemplating their future on this world. He looked up and saw her.

He shook his head in disbelief. “Alexa,” he murmured. “Alexa, is that really you?”

“It’s Jessa. *Not* Alexa,” she corrected once again. “How many times do I have to tell you?”

Jessa couldn’t believe that Rich continued pursuing her sister even after Logan had told him in plain terms that she wasn’t interested. She decided once and for all to end her sister’s torment once and for all no matter what it took.

Momentarily, Methos was taken aback. He cleared his throat then coughed. “Uh… sorry about that. So what did you want?”

Jessa screwed up her courage. “I want to make a deal with you. I’ll do anything you want to get Rich off my sister’s back. She doesn’t want his untoward attention.”

*My God, it is Alexa* Methos thought as he stared into her eyes.

“Deal,” he replied as he kissed her.

Present…

“Dammit, why did you have to make that deal?” cursed Methos aloud at his reflection.

Mac raised his eyebrow “What deal?”

“Nothing. Something in the past,” murmured Methos, getting up.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jessa couldn’t shake the images jetting through her mind. *What did I do? My God, what is he? Who are these people? He’s a killer. Swords. Masquerade balls? Lightning… Somebody help me!*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

MSR stuck out her tongue. "Later, gotta catch all those showings of Endgame!"

She ran out of there before anyone could grab her.

Blink didn't blink when he read the story. "CRACK CRACK CRACK. Get back here, MSR...MSR...N...MSR!"

"Sheesh. I think I like the other one better," Recall remarked after reading the story.

"Nah, I like that one better. She actually followed the story." Tigs replied, putting away her claws.

"So tufted one, whatcha going to write?" asked Recall.

Blinker smiled. "That's for me to know and all of you to find out later."

MSRMSRNMSR



[ 4 ]
Creedence CRACKwater Revival Blinker 6/4/01
Blinker: Damn! I miss the days when every story was set in Season Four, the plotlines were thinner than Charmed07's bulimic alter ego, and I could always fall back on Colin for a cheap laugh.

Keith "Lunchboy" Damron: Me too! I *still* haven't figured out who this >:-#ing "Diana" character is they've got in the writers' bible.

Jenn_X: Uh, the show has been over for two years...

Lunchboy: I know!

[ Blinker gives the stack of unused paper one last wistful look, and begins furiously scribbling on the topmost sheet. ]

Recall: Hmm... seeing as I haven't contributed anything yet but a cheesy pun, how about another serenade? [picks up guitar]

I see a bad author writing
I see trouble on the way
I see the next few segments biting
I see...a whole buncha crap today

So don't think while you write
Or it's bound to take all night
There's bad fiction on the rise

I hear HurriKain's a-rumblin'
I wish the end were comin' soon
I fear the Blink man's endless bumblin'
I know our story's gettin' ruined

But don't think while you write
Or it's bound to take all night
There's bad fiction on the rise...

=====

"What's up with *her?*" asked Quinn, as ever the model of discretion.

Logan glanced down at the journal, as if hoping it would impart some strength or wisdom. Fat chance. All the book and its owner had brought her to date was pain.

Maggie laughed uneasily. It was a sound as ridiculously out of place as a Beethoven symphony on an ABBA 8-track, but *someone* had to break the ice. "So..."

"Wade Welles," Jessa cut in, shaking loose from her reverie. "And her friends. We have... a history together..."

=====

Dunkin' "Donuts" MacLeod stood facing his warped, bitter double from twenty years in the future.

"I've come back to shave you all," declared the elder Dunkin'.

"Huh?" replied his younger self.

"Ach, I'm being played by Shawn Connery," came the explanatory reply. "Now lishen closhely. If you don't return to earthPRIME™ right away, Wade will shortly die of her perfunctorily introdouched neurological condition. You shee, for shome reazhon our homeworld is the only Earth capable of treating her in time. It *alsho* sho happenzh that there izh a natshural wormhole leading home in Golden Gate Park... but it'sh guarded by a nefarioush, drunken Taiwanezhe leprechaun."

Dunkin' Jr. could only shudder at the etymology of the word "introdouche."

"That'sh why," continued the future visitor, "I've brought you thish Deush Ecsh Machina™ brand Bat-Armour..."

=====

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

Blinker: Hey! Enough with the whip! 7>:-O

MSR: Then tear up that last shec -- ugh, SECtion -- NOW. That isn't even the RIGHT 'Endgame'!

Blinker [grudgingly obliging]: All right. But I'm warning you... you're NOT gonna like the only *other* segment I can think of...

=====

Wade's ragged breathing was the only sound. In, out. In, out. Amanda paused at the doorknob, letting the noise scrape fresh wounds into her heart.

A miniaturized cardiac surgeon injected into her bloodstream a la "Fantastic Journey" would have observed the marks to spell out "GUILT."

It was the strength she needed to force herself into keeping the faith indefinitely. To prop up her friends, and if any strength was left, herself.

Masochism had its uses.

Amanda had only just channeled some of that strength towards turning the knob when the rasps abruptly petered out. She stood frozen for a second, numb, before panic overrode shock and she rushed to her friend's side.

No breath.

No pulse.

The facts struck her one after another, mocking the hope she'd carried for what seemed like an eternity.

IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!

As she sank to the floor, Amanda wasn't sure if she thought the words or screamed them.

=====

[ Blinker finishes with the manuscript and passes it off to Thomas "Damage Control" Malthus. TM's eyes grow wider and wider with each successive chapter, briefly turning green with envy at the ladies' writing mojo (and purple to match Blinker's prose.) SL4ever sticks his head in the frame and shouts "PIE! :-P" as per contractual obligation. ]

Recall [starts crooning again]:

Hope you got your things together
Hope you are quite prepared to die
Looks like TM's hell-bent for leather
Let's sit, and watch the feathers fly

TM [mimicking Action!Quinn]: What was that about not carrying your weight?...

Recall: Just a moment of...

TM: ...'cause I was hoping you could go back to it.

- Blinker 7:-P
http://slidersweb.net/blinker

"There's something in the way they work,
Making nothing into so much worse..."



[ 5 ]
Uh, Blinker... ThomasMalthus 6/6/01
You might not have known this, but I lost my "Damage Control" title a long time ago. Now I have trouble controlling my own damage, much less other people's.

"Just get on with it!" the Torch cried out, as usual.

***

Conrad Bennish, Jr. walked into the bookstore operated by Jenna and Logan. Looking around the place, he still couldn't believe he'd gotten us into this mess. Well, he'd started it anyway.

The hand of Maggie Beckett in marriage. That was the gift of her father, the general, to anyone who could perfect sliding. Very appealing to a group of scientists who could count the number of relationships they'd had on one finger. Bennish immediately started working overtime to get the job done. So did his best friend, Quinn Mallory. Eventually they were ordered not to work together, in order to promote fair competition.

But that just threw another monkey wrench into the situation. Bennish unveiled his sliding machine the same day Quinn did. It was quite the conundrum, that was until the general pulled some strings and got some old anti-polygamy laws repealed. It wasn't an ideal situation, but Maggie seemed happy enough with it.

The new "family" couldn't stay there. The marriage had caused a scandal that ruined General Beckett's shot at the consulship, which had been a good one. The first world they'd landed on was hardly ideal for a honeymoon. A group of bandits had taken over the state government in California and had turned the entire area into a war zone. Bennish advanced the timer...and stuck them sliding randomly for some very long stays. Three months, the duration of their time here, was actually one of the shorter countdowns that the group had to deal with.

"What's goin' on?" Conrad Bennish, Jr. asked brashly.

Quinn looked at Bennish. "Maggie read some journal of a girl named Wade. It made her cry. I think she's OK now."

"Wade?" Conrad asked. "Wade Welles?"

"Yeah," Jenna replied. "You know her?"

The long-haired scientist only paused in thought a moment. "Ex-girlfriend." There was an awkward pause.

"So," Quinn said, deciding once again to break the ice clumsily, "what's the story on these Mercs?"

"Yeah," Maggie chimed in. "What does Merc mean anyway?"

"Maggot eating rotting corpses." Logan said in a deadpan voice.

"Really?" Quinn asked with some degree of excitement. "Like zombies?"

Jenna finally released a stifled laugh. "Sorry. Just some veteran humor. They've actually never deemed it necessary to tell us who they were, where they came from, or why they wanted to conquer us. Not many humans have even seen a Merc's face."

Bennish' brow furrowed. "I thought you said you have to incubate their children?"

Logan explained. "Their parentage doesn't seem to manifest itself at birth. The children look like perfectly normal humans."

"Then how do you know the Mercs aren't?" Quinn queried.

Jenna sighed and leaned in to where she could just whisper to the sliders. "No humans could do what they've done."

***
Amanda wailed. She cradled Wade in her arms. "They can't do this, they can't!!!"

"Calm down, Amanda," Methos said, his hawkish face looking stern now. "This'll turn out fine."

"How the hell will anything be fine?" Rich asked spitefully. "Wade was our one shot at getting out of here, now we're stuck..."

"Not necessarily," Methos countered. Amanda sounded like she was starting to say something under her breath, but none of the others were paying attention. "There are always ways of getting around obstacles like this. We've done it before."

"And we were lucky then," Mac retorted angrily. "I think our luck's run out." Finally the angry trio heard the words Amanda was speaking.

"Vamane et laraban, syipugh il tranuv unartl ihgup iy snaba raltee namav!" She chanted.

"No!!!" screamed Methos. His cry was drowned out, however, by blue lightning eminating from an unseen force above them. It seemed to consume Wade and before long her body was taken from them.

"You stupid cow," Methos cursed at Amanda. "What have you done to us?!?"

***

As Jenna, Logan, Maggie, Quinn and Bennish were speaking a blue light appeared and deposited a young woman in their midst.

"Oh my God!!" Jenna remarked blasphemously.

"It's...it's..." Logan went on.

"Wade," Bennish said sullenly and definitively.

*****

"So let me get this straight," said HK. "You went to all the trouble of posting on the main board about how you knew you were up and you'd probably have your part of the story up by the weekend, only to put your edition up on Wednesday."

TM shrugged. "Hey, I didn't know I'd have so much free time. I thought I'd have to stop by somewhere and pick up 'Fray'. Since no store around here seems to have it yet, I don't have to."

HK sighed. "Fine. Coolslider, if you can do as fabo a job with the story game as you did with TWIWTA, then we should be in good shape."

ThomasMalthus



[ 6 ]
Death By Chocolate Yeontoo 6/13/01
HK reached over, taking a pinch of Yeontoo’s double Dutch death by chocolate Peanut Butter Fudge cake from her plate. “You’re up!”

“Hey!” Yeontoo’s mouth flew open. “You can have your own!”

“Maybe later,” HK swallowed. “Hey! That’s good!”

Torch yelled” Get on with it!”

At the desk, SE read the manuscript the third time with Y. “Jeez baby, this is hard. What do you think about….” He bent down whispering in her ear.

“That might… yeah!” Yeontoo smiled.

Torch yelled again. “Get. On. With. It.”

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

“Wade?” Quinn looked down at the ashen face woman. “This is the writer? Why, she looks dead!”

Logan fainted. Conrad only half-heartedly tried to catch her, his attention was on Wade just appearing.… Just…. Appearing! Maggie actually screamed… not that she would acknowledge that fact later on.

A completely still, dead-faced Wade glowed at them. Suddenly, she gasped, sitting straight up, screaming. She looked anxiously at the group around her… they were closing in! She screamed again, covering her head.

“Wade, its me…Conrad.” Conrad spoke up above the yells of the hysterical woman. “It’s OKAY! IT’S OK…” He trailed off as she clutched her abdomen.

“Don’t hurt the baby… I… Conrad? That can’t be you, Conrad… You aren’t my Conrad, you’re a double or a clone.” Wade was whispering, trying to not be hysterical again.

++++

“Where did you send her!” Duncan pinned Amanda with a grieved look. “It wasn’t for us – for you, to use a spell, to make her live again. And now she is Elsewhere… and doesn’t know.”

“I couldn’t let her just die! I couldn’t! She is our only hope of going home!” Amanda broke down. Sobbing, she fell to the floor, “I thought I kept her here, where she writes, where she pours her heart out. Oh DUNCAN?! Where could she be?!”

“Stop the hysterics Amanda… it doesn’t become you.” Methos, ever tainted to be the pessimistic one, said in a calm voice. “You just wanted the prophecy fulfilled.”

Stopping any and all signs of female emotion, Amanda grimaced. “Well?!”

“The words of the spell… you mixed the last one up… instead of being here, where she writes… she is where someone else is reading her writing… someone who saw her heart and soul in the writing, and felt strong emotion… you’ve done it now thief” Methos grabbed his coat as Duncan finished buttoning his.

“Ideas?” Duncan growled to Methos, ignoring the fuming Amanda (she didn’t like to be caught bluffing).

“Yeah. Wade’s Journal was only in one bookstore. It’s in San Angel.” Methos looked over at the door as Richie came in. Lowering his voice, “It’s ‘A Novel Idea’, Jessa and Logan’s place.”

“That’s where ….”

“Yeah, it’s where…..”

“Let’s hurry, it’s an hours drive from here.”

“I’m go…” Amanda moved swiftly.

“No, you stay… “ Duncan gave a meaningful glance over at Richie.

“Hmpf” Amanda stalked away.

%%%%%%

“Baby? You’re expecting?” Conrad looked down her form, noting that she was indeed bulging. He blushed as he tried covering his mistake. “Um, when are you due? Where’s the daddy? I mean… Where’s… who’s your husband? Wait, no ring… well, do you use rings… I mean…”

“Shut up!” Jessa pushed Conrad aside, still trying to catch her breath. Seeing the Merc here was most upsetting… most upsetting.

“Are you Mercs?” Wade asked cautiously.

“No, we are your servants Madam.” Jessa bowed.

“Don’t bow to me, Ma’am. I am not a Merc, but a pawn.” Wade stood and stretched slowly. “I … I… I’ve been with …with…” She trailed off, not knowing how much to tell. “I’ve not been with the Mercs for a time.”

"I don't know what all this Merc stuff is… but I don't like what I've heard so far!" Quinn announced foolishly and loudly.

Logan whispered to Bennish. "I saw a Merc once. I saw his face change to the devil, then back again. Don't tell Jessa I told you. She'll be very very angry."

"SSHHHHHHHH" Jessa went as white, her hands clenching. "You'll bring their wrath upon our heads!"

&&&&&&&&&&

“Amanda is so stupid.” Duncan hit the steering column again. He was very agitated.

“She’s sweet on you.. why don’t you control her better?” Methos grinned slyly.

“If it wasn’t for that dogone Prophecy… we wouldn’t be…”

“We wouldn’t even be on this world.” Methos interrupted Mac. “ ‘Offspring of a Flying Devil Conqueror’ and ‘Not-Fully Man’ what a crock! You believe that Wade is carrying the chosen one of the prophecy. She’s just pregnant from one of the Maggs.”

“That fulfills the prophecy! You believe it too, or you’d not have stayed.”

“I stayed for another reason!”

“Oh yeah? What?”

%%%%%%%%

Yeontoo put the quill down, flexing her fingers. “I was hoping Coolslider would give me more to work from.” SE grunted as he stretched his neck around.

“You tried tying all the plot twists together? With ST still coming up on the list?! “ MSR laughed til tears formed.

“I’m gonna chop everyone’s head off.” ST winked. “Carnage is my middle name. Yeppers, it’s Space Carnage Time at your service.” He mockingly bowed.

“Who’s next?” HK went in search of Southern Slider.

Torch: “Daylights’ a wasting! Get on with it!”



[ 7 ]
Hmm... Jenneration_X 6/21/01
Jennx walks into the cave.

Y: And where have you been?

Jenn: Ugh.. nowhere.

CS: Well you're up in any case.

Jenn: What right now?

Cs: NO.. next year.

Jenn walks over and sits down by the story. She reads it over.

Jenn: What Kind of Story is this? I leave ya'll alone for 4 weeks and you make Polygamy and homosexualism a regular thing around here?

Tigs: Hey! You didn't exactly help me out when I started this thing!

Jenn stares at her blankly for a moment: The fairy Dust finally got to you!

Tigs turns and walks away.

TM: Well it's about time someone got here and continued the story.

Blinker runs by frantically screaming: CRACK CRACK CRACK!! ALL OF YOU ARE ON CRACK!!!!!

This strangely seems to upset or startle no one.

SpaceTime: Well It doesn't matter Jenn. I'm up after you so don't screw up the story. Leave that to me.

=====

"You wouldn't care." Methos whispered looking out the window.

"No, I would care. That's why I'm asking you!" Duncan shouted.

"I feel in love with Jessa. That's why I stayed. Jessa is my whole life!!" Methos shouted with a crack in his voice as he recalled all the countless hours spent with her. Duncan seemed awestricken for a moment.

"Jessa.. IS A LESBIAN!!"

"You don't know that!"

"Oh really? Then why does she sleep with Girls?"

"Shut Up! SHUT UP!!! JESSA LOVES ME!!! AND NOT YOU NOR THAT CHEAP WHORE LOGAN IS GONNA CHANGE THAT!!!"

~~~~~

"Where did she come from?" Maggie asked.

Conrad helped Wade up. Wade turned around and stood staring at Quinn.

"Quinn??" She shouted.

"Me?" He answered.

"Oh My god!! It's You!!" she ran over to him and threw her arms around his neck. "I knew I'd find you again."

"Whoa.. Slow down.. Wade? Was it? I don't remember you!"

"What are you talking about? Remmy? The Professer! Kromagg Breeding Camps! That time in your basement! Come on Quinn Remember!!" Wade shouted as she slowly backed away.

"I'm sorry. I don't know you. But Conrad seems too."

"I knew a Conrad once. He was your best friend in College."

"I must be a double of your Quinn then."

"NO! My Quinn had a gleam in his eye that I've never seen in any Double! You have that Gleam!"

"I'm Sorry!"

"Come on Wade. You need to lie down!" Jessa suggested. She took her arm and pulled her to the back of the store where Wade rested on a sofa. Suddenly, Duncan and Methos barged into the store.

"Where is She?" Duncan Yelled.

"Who?" Logan answered. Jessa ran out of the back and saw Methos.

"Methos?" she asked. She couldn't believe her eyes. They had lied to her so many times.

"It's me Jessa!" He answered. Jessa ran up and kissed him.

"Jessa!!" Logan was very offended. She ran into the back of the store and started to weep.

"Where's Wade?!?" Duncan demanded.

"Come on Quinn, This ain't our business." Maggie suggested. She grabbed Quinn's and Conrad's arm and pulled them out of the store. They went back to Jessa and Logan's place. Up in their room, Maggie laid down on the bed. Conrad was down in the kitchen making a sandwich and Quinn was sitting on a chair. Maggie rolled over and faced him. "Hey Quinn? Up for a little Q-Ball?" She asked seductively.

"Q-ball.." Something struck him about that name. He'd heard it before. Screw hearing it, He's been called it before. Yes.. Images of Remmy, The Professer, Colin, and Finally Wade popped into his head. He stood up, grabbed his coat and ran out of the room. He raced over to the store where Wade was being loaded into a Truck. "WAIT!!" He shouted. The driver looked at him and then drove off.

=====

Jenn: There we go!

Recall: You ruined our hard work!

Jenn: No I didn't. I just can't wait to see what Space time's going to do with it.

SpaceTime: I'm already planning my devious sceme.

MSR: Well Just don't :-# up the story ok?

Torch: NEXT!!!!



[ 8 ]
Occam's Razor SpaceTime 6/21/01
"Good Lord," ST said, taking a look at the mish-mash before him. "I can honestly say that I am stunned."

"That good, eh?" Recall said with a smile.

"That confusing," ST countered. "I can buy the battiness of the first two parts; at least they're coherent. But Dellyone's addition of these four Highlander characters is MADDENING."

"Well, look on the bright side," Coolslider said. "We just got some new additions to the game - Brand_S, TemporalFlux and HunterD_Raven."

"Seriously, what the hell am I supposed to do?! They've been there A DAY, and they've got THREE MONTHS on this earth."

He looked at the paper and thought of those POOR, MISERABLE BASTARDS trapped in the Unreality. There must be a way to free them...

"F it. I'm going balls out."

---

Quinn spun faster than HIS BACKSTORY and walked back up to the house. Wade Welles was in that truck, and she was worse off than Schrodinger's Cat - alive when it suited the purposes of some God-King with no ability to FOLLOW CONTINUITY.

Up at the house, Logan and Jessa had just finished their infinitely BRISK walk of 400 kph, which gets them from the store and back in just under a minute. They were bickering over whether or not HOT LESBIAN LOVE was appropriate now that Jessa had swallowed Methos' TONGUE or because they had suddenly become SISTERS.

Bennish sat like a squat mute, braiding his hair while his slut of a wife begged for some "Q-Balling."

Amanda cried in palindromes. Rich sat and offered pointless exposition. Duncan "Donuts" MacLeod sat outside trying to figure out if his future self had gone against the Immortal Prime Directive by trying to equip him with a TRANSPHASIC SWORD, capable of cutting off MARIO VAN PEEBLE'S HEAD AND THUS PREVENTING A MOVIE THAT SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN MADE.

Leaving Methos. He was also off doing something weird. Maybe he was driving the truck taking Wade to the obscure location where he and the Mercs lived, a place also located close to the bookstore.

All of these things made the Living Tribunal mad.

He struggled to make sense of a world where it seemed that homosexuality was the preferred lifestyle, but that assumption radically shifted almost immediately. He tried to ponder the consequences of a group of five living somewhere in the vicinity of a City with no possible Spanish-English translation that TERRORIZED THE WORLD but seemed more wrapped up in petty squabbling and drinking Meisterchau than in killing, maiming and raping.

Lastly, there was the the entymology of the term "Mercs," which might be a term for the Kromaggs and yet it also strongly suggested that the Immortals from a different story that shares about as much in common with parallel universes as Rosie O'Donnell does with HETEROSEXUALITY could also be the world-razing EVIL everyone ran from.

Thus the Tribunal descended from the heavens upon San Angel [or Saint Angeles as the ancient Nords called it], driving the populace into a panic. He called forth the latest victims of storytelling and bade them sit. Wade was wheeled up in a cryogenic suspension tube.

LISTEN AND LEARN, the Tribunal said without speaking. THERE IS SIMPLY TOO MUCH SHIT GOING ON HERE AND IT MUST BE PARED DOWN.

He pointed his massive, golden arm at Quinn Mallory. DESPITE ALL EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY, VIA PSYCHIC INTUITION OR WHATNOT, YOU ARE NOT THE QUINN MALLORY WADE KNOWS. YOU ARE THE BISEXUAL LOVER OF BENNISH AND MAGGIE. NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS.

MAGGIE, it continued, IS THE ILLITERATE SLUT OF A GENERAL GIVEN OFF AS A PRIZE FOR INVENTING A DOODAD. BENNISH, YOU MAY HAVE WON THE BET BUT YOU ARE FLAGRANTLY HOMOSEXUAL. ANNOUNCE YOUR LOVE FOR QUINN AND GET OVER YOURSELF.

"It's true, dude, I do love you," Bennish sheepishly admitted. "I even wear my hair long so you might think of me as the flat teenage girl you've always craved."

"Aw, thanks bro," Quinn said as he simultaneously ATE BENNISH'S TONGUE FROM INSIDE HIS MOUTH and goosed Maggie's big plastic cans.

The Tribunal then focused its attention on Wade Welles. WADE, YOU ARE ALIVE. TAKE SOME POETRY CLASSES. AND DYE YOUR HAIR BACK TO ITS ORIGINAL COLOR. Wade's box sprung open and there she was, whole, healthy [physically - she's still got an assload of emotional issues to deal with] and looking as she did in "Time Again and World" -- namely, HOT.

Jessa and Logan were next. JESSA, YOU AND LOGAN ARE LESBIANS, NOT SISTERS. MAKE OUT SAFE IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU BOTH CRAVE THE LOVE OF A WOMAN.

Jessa was singled out. YOU DO NOT LOVE METHOS. IT IS CONTRADICTORY. PERIOD.

Logan was next. LOGAN, QUINN IS YOUR MALE DOUBLE IN CASE YOU WANT TO EXPERIMENT WITH THE DUALITY OF NATURE AND SELF.

"Wow, I can explore my inner psyche!" Logan yelled.

"Me, too!" As Quinn approached Logan and proceeded to make out with her LIKE A CHAMP. Everyone laughed heartily at this.

Finally, the Tribunal turned to the four Highlander people. IF YOU EVER APPEAR IN ANOTHER CONVOLUTED STORY LINE, I WILL DESTROY YOU. UNDERSTAND?

The four nodded their heads in agreement.

DUNCAN, YOU NOW LOVE AMANDA. IT HAS BEEN HINTED BUT I AM REMOVING ALL DOUBT. RICH, I AM ROBBING YOU OF THE POWER OF SPEECH AS YOU ARE USELESS. PEOPLE WILL REFER TO YOU AS RICK, THOUGH, SO YOU DON'T SOUND SO LAME. AND SEEING AS HOW LOGAN IS NOW UNQUESTIONABLY LESBIAN, GO FIND A FIRE HYDRANT TO LOVE.

Rick walked over to a nice new hydrant and began to nibble a bolt seductively.

METHOS, WHO THE FUCK IS ALEXA? NO ONE KNOWS, SO NOW NEITHER DO YOU. FORGET ABOUT HER. YOU NOW ALSO LOVE AMANDA. MAYBE YOU AND MACLEOD CAN FIGHT OVER HER. THAT WOULD INTERESTING.

Methos grinned. It *would* be interesting.

FINALLY, THE MERCS. THEY ARE NOT KROMAGGS. THAT IS TOO CONFUSING AND IT BRINGS AN ENEMY BACK THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT, LEAST OF ALL A GROUP OF SLIDERS WHO HAVE NEVER ENCOUNTERED THEM. WADE IS CARRYING A KROMAGG BABY, THOUGH.

"Shit!" Wade yelled as she ran her fingers through her gorgeous brown hair.

"I've got a quick question," Maggie asked. "The book store - is it in walking distance of the house or is there transporter technology on this world?"

GOOD QUESTION. GO WITH TRANSPORTERS.

Everyone felt that this was good. All the ambiguity was gone. All that was left was the fact that they'd only been there 29 hours and had already been through every major plot twist, emotional revelation and character revamp as they possibly could, and yet they still had three months to go.

BY THE WAY, I'VE SPED UP THE CLOCK. YOU'VE NOW BEEN HERE FOR ALMOST THREE FULL MONTHS.

"Hey, thanks Living Tribunal!" Quinn said. Sure enough, the timer was counting down to 48 hours, and the fall leaves were changing color.

LATER, FOLKS, the Tribunal said as it blipped back into the Continuity Zone.

"Now what do we do?"

That was when the klaxons sounded. People began running through the street as the group realized that the missiles were coming. Lichtenstein was about to destroy all vestiges of Richard Simmons from the planet.

The missiles struck with swift ferocity. The Richard Simmons Center for Beautification and Sexual Reorientation in San Angel was destroyed.

As he stepped from his HumVee, Wesley Crusher of the MERCs surveyed the carnage.

He could hear Transmodiar cackling that evil LAUGH OF THE DAMNED from atop his flying turtle. The oddly SEXUAL sound of nuclear bombs hissing their way through the atmosphere began to fill his ears, but for the moment Transmodiar, GOD OF SLIDING, was winning the aural assault.

At Crusher's DAINTY, WOMANLY feet lay the bodies of a half dozen people who looked familiar, but he knew that to be a LIE. He smiled. Armageddon was nigh.

And then Wade's water broke.

---

"We have equilibrium, people. EQUILIBRIUM."

ST tossed his 2 pages of handwritten notes he'd made to make sense of all the nonsense in the trash.

"Please don't tip the scales," he said as he walked back to his recliner and punched Coolslider in the back of the head as a way of telling him to GET ON WITH IT.

- ST



[ 9 ]
Hrm... CoolSlider 6/30/01
I had about half a story written out...then stuff changed, I got confused and tossed it. Whatever follows here will be whatever comes to my mind; meaning that I'm writing this as I go along. The game's pretty messed up anyhow. I doubt my contribution will make it any more retarded.

--

Wesley Crusher stared sternly at the mass of people in front of him. In a squeaky voice, he spoke:

"How nice to MEAT you."

Unfortuantely, "meet" and "meat" sound the same when you actually SAY it, so the effect was lost.

"Oh, no...", Jessa said in dismay.

"Who is he?" Quinn asked

Logan continued what Jessa had started. "It's Wesley Crusher. One of the MERCs top henchmen, and his partner on the flying turtle is Transmodiar, GOD OF SLIDING"

Quinn looked behind him to see Wade. She was all messy and stuff because her water broke (as seen in last chapter).

"Listen, you MERCs can't be that inhumane to not let this woman here give birth. Let her go!" Captian Negotiation said.

Wesley smiled. "Fine, let the girl go. She's done nothing wrong anyway."

Methos, Duncan, Amanda and Rick took Wade to the nearest hospital.

"Now, as for the rest of you, come with me!"

"NEVER!" Conrad exclaimed as he squirted toothpaste in the eyes of Welsey Crusher.

"AHHHH! MY EYES!"

"Go! Run! GO!" said guess who. (Not the band. Actually try to guess)

Jessa, Logan, Maggie, Conrad and Quinn ran as hard as they could back to the comfort of their own home. It was futile however, because Transmodiar, GOD OF SLIDING swooped down on his flying turtle. Using it's massive claws, the turtle grabbed a hold of Jessa.

"ACK! HELP HELP!" Jessa cried as the turtle carried her off into the distance.

Logan stopped dead in her tracks and took a deep breath. She tried to speak but was cut off.

"Don't bother," Quinn said.

"Don't bother with what?"

"You were gonna yell 'JESSA!' as if it would help her situation. Then I would say 'There's no time! Let's go!' and we'd waste a good thirty seconds."

"Good point. Let's get back to my house."

--

Logan sat at the table sobbing. "I can't believe they took her!"

"Logan, stop crying," Maggie said "What are the MERCs going to do to her?"

"Who knows?"

"Well would they have killed her by now?"

"No. That's not their style. She's still alive"

"Fine then! Let's rescue her! Quinn!"

Quinn looked at the timer, "Uh cutting it close aren't we?"

"Look," Maggie said to her whipping boy "These people helped us for the past three months. The least we could do is TRY to help them back"

"Fine. Jessa, where is the MERC HQ?"

"Well...it's not as easy to get to as you might expect..."

--

Wade screamed. The contractions were getting closer and closer together...

CoolSlider -- oh, so half-assed job.



[ - ]
Most CONTROVERSIAL segment... EVER! HurriKain 7/1/01
HK stands in front of the desk rubbing "Uncle Rickman's Flame Retardent" all over his body.

BritSlider: UH... HK. What the hell are you doing?

HK: I'm getting ready to write.

BS: I see the stuff you are rubbing on yourself and I can pretty much do the math.

HK: Don't worry, I'm practically doing you a favor.

JennX: Uh oh...

SpaceTime: Stop! In the name of Transmodiar, I COMMAND you to desist!

HK just turned his mental CD player to full volume as he wipes his hands on a towel and puts the bucket aside.

CoolSlider: You know, I haven't been in the story game as long as you have, but I know that this is NOT COOL!

Tigs was on the floor with tears streaming down her face, "Go Stormy" being gasped through the laughter.

HK sat down and picked up the pen. he smiled evilly as he written down the first word.

"It..."

ST: DON'T DO IT MAN!

"was..."

Tigs: DO IT! <then she started laughing again>

Dellyone/MSR: Bring it all home, baby!

"all..."

CS: Goddamn it! I didn't endure countless IM messages for me to get my story game part done just to see it burn to a crisp.

"a..."

Tigs: WhooooooHoooooooo!!!!!!!

Blinker and SL4ever <while eating popcorn>: WRITE IT! WRITE IT! WRITE IT! WRITE IT! WRITE IT!

BS: He's bonkers!

ST: That's it! Write that last word and I will personally host a BLANKET PARTY in your honor.

JennX: Don't do it, or I'll never speak to you again!

Tigs and d1: That's bad?!?!

"dream."

And with the final word written on the page, HK just laid back as he heard the DSE alarm sound off, waiting to be engulfed in a sea of flame.

HK <thinking while putting on his safety goggles>: this stuff better be potent.

Suddenly, the DSE unleashed his fury. For ten seconds, the SGamers watched as the gamemaster welcoming a breeze of fire. In the end, HK looked like a piece of Charcoal with legs.

HK <coughing black smoke>: What do you know! That $12 was worth it after all.

BS: YOU SON OF A BITCH!

HK: No need to be testy.

JennX: How dare you do such a thing?

HK: How dare you write such a segment?

ST: I say we get him IMPEACHED!

HK: Hey hey hey! Let me state my peace.

CS just grunted.

HK: Good thing I Xeroxed the manuscript before pulling this little stunt...

BS: Good.

HK: ... all except for the last three segs...

CS: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

HK: ... oopsie.

ST: "Oopsie" my >:-#!

HK wiped the remains of the retardant off his face and began to write...

SL4: Toasty!


I'll be back to write my seg later. No hard feelings for the last three writers.



[ 10 ]
mCsE pt. 2 HurriKain 7/1/01
"I still don't believe that you let her stay here." Jenna whispered loudly.

After the encounter with Wade at the bookstore, the group traveled back to Jenna's and Logan's household. Bennish stayed in the guest room where Wade is lying down while Quinn was downstairs in the kitchen heating up some soup.

"Look it's only temporary." Logan responded, "and besides, she told us that she is not one of them."

"And you believe her?"

Logan just frowned at Jessa.

"Look, I just have a bad feeling." Jessa continued. "I mean, we just saw a pregnant woman appear out of nowhere soon after someone reads a book of poetry that she also wrote. I don't know what the hell is going on here, but this Wade gal, Merc or not, she's going to lead us into trouble. I can feel it Logan."

"Shhh..." Logan said. "Calm down a bit. We all agreed to watch her in shifts, therefore leaving the others to tend to the store."

"Yes we did." Jessa said, her face full of worry. "I just feel that this woman and the mercs are somewhat related, and here we are, standing here, playing with fire."

"Just calm down. You should get some rest. I'll bring you something later. OK?"

Jessa nodded. "I just hope we did the right thing."

--

Wade laid there on the plush queen size bed, rubbing her belly through her shirt as she became enveloped by the comfort of the soft quilt and pillows. At the other side of the room, Bennish sat in an arm chair overlookng a window but he could never keep his eyes off her.

"It's been 5 years." he said.

"What?" Wade said, trning her head towards the slider.

"It's been five years since I seen yo... er... I mean, her face."

"Oh..." Wade smiled. "I haven't seen my Bennish in 4 years."

"Ah..." Bennish said nodding. "So... how far along are you?"

"About 8 1/2 months. Well, last time I checked."

"Does it have a father?"

"I rather... not talk about it."

"Ah, total deadbeat, huh?"

"Not exactly..."

"OK..." Bennish said, twiddling his thumbs. "Care to share how you become associated with the Mercs?"

Suddenly, Logan walked through the doorway.
"Bennish, I'm on my way to reopen the bookstore, but Jenna is a little tired. Would you mind coming with me?"

Bennish was surprised at the announcement. "What about..."

"Quinn should handle it. Let's go." Logan said rushing for the staircase.

"Looks like you're needed." Wade said, smiling.

Benninsh smiled back. "We'll talk later, OK?"

"OK." she replied as she saw Bennish leave.

---

"Sir, All I could remember is that I saw the two women leave with a pregnant woman and two other men." The shopkeeper from Spade Hardware, a shop located across the street from "A Novel Idea", told Duncan. He was nearly shivering at the sight of the Mercs. But he valued his life, so he cooperated fully.

"Do you know here they were headed?" Duncan asked.

"It seems they were taking the pregnant woman to their homestead. It's... a mile up the street and make a right and the first dirt road you come across."

"Thank you my good fellow." Duncan said, placing his hand on the fellow's shoulder. This sent the shopkeeper trembling, silently praying that he'll live to see another sunrise.

"You've done well." Duncan said, smiling, raising his hand. As the Merc climbed inside of the car, the shopkeeper breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"I think we've found our girl." Duncan said.

"Good good." Methos said. "Still, you still haven't stated your secondary reason for staying."

"And I will tell you in good time." Duncan stated, almost confrontational. "Let's just get to the task at hand."

----

HK: Well, I'm done.

ST: >:-# you and the horse you rode in on!

HK: No need to be harsh. Gotta go now. I have a stoy to finish.

And with that, HK ran out the door before CoolSlider, JennX and SpaceTime could get their hands on any blunt objects.

Tigs: DMD!!!!!

SL4ever: Toasty!



[ 11 ]
<stomps on hat> SweetOne 7/11/01
HK: Where is she?
SL4: Who knows? I say we just skip her.
DMD: I saw her awhile ago, she'll be here.

SweetOne rushed into the cave deposited several pies on the table. "Sorry I'm late y'all." She walked to DMD and placed a kiss on his cheek.

Torch: Now that you have finally shown up GET ON WITH IT!!

SweetOne: I'm on top of it.

SL4: At least she brought food. He snatched a pie and dug in.

~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~

The man dressed entirely in black kept watch over the house,

He had been waiting for the perfect moment for over a week. His com badge viberated. "What" he whispered.

"Do you have any idea when you'll be able to get her out?" a raspy voice asked. "It's been over a week, that baby is almost ready to drop. We can't let that happen." the voice was angry now.

"Listen Mac, don't you think I've tried. They've got her under 24 hour watch. If you'd let me take care of the others It'd be no problem." and quite fun he added to himself.

"Just do as you're told," the com went silent.

~~~~~~~~~

Jessa and Logan were washing up the dishes. A movement outside the house caught Jessa's attention, "Look," she nudged Logan. "Do you see someone?" "Honey, you're just getting paranoid, there is no one out there." Logan tried to reassure her.

"I could have sworn," Jessa began. "Come on I'll rub your back, you need to relax," Logan led her to the couch.

~~~~~~~~~~

Wade was getting restless, "Don't you think it's time I went back to my place?" she asked. "You shouldn't be moved, you don't want to take any chances when you're this close to delivery," Quinn reasoned.

When he looked at her that way, all sweet and caring she could almost forget he wasn't hers. "I guess so," she agreed.

"I'm heading to the kitchen for a snack. Want anything?" he gave her a winning smile. "I could go for some nachos, and maybe a cream soda," she returned the smile. "Be right back."

~~~~~~~~~~

"Subject is alone, moving in," the man in black spoke into his com unit. He turned off the device and made his move.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SweetOne placed the pen back on the table, wiped her hands, "All done"

Coolslider: It's about time, I thought you said Tuesday night.

SO: It's still Tuesday night, I haven't gone to bed yet.

Tigs: Britsliderrrrr get your buns in here.



[ 12 ]
Time to finish off this story..... BritSlider 7/17/01
...just like you would finish off any rabid dog :-)


It was already dark by the time BritSlider left the office. His laptop under one arm, and a folder under the other he slowly made his way to his car. How much longer would he have to deal with this workload? Didn't they realise that doing the work of two people means you can't fit everything into the normal 9 to 5?

His mind on other things, Brit failed to notice the shadowy figures lurking by his car; a telltale tuft on one of them betraying who they were. As he reached for his keys, the three figures leaped out from their hiding places, bundled a sack over Brit, and carried him away. Not fifty yards away was a small sliver of light that seemed to come from a doorway on the middle of nothing. They quickly carried the bound form of Brit through the Project Narnia door, and into the Story Cave; where they dumped him on the floor.

Brit managed to fight his way out of the sack, and turned to face his kidnappers. It was then that he realised where he had been taken.

Brit: Geez you guys, all you had to do was ask me to write my section and I would have done it!

HurriKain: I did ask you. Twice!

Blinker: We decided that a little affirmative action was needed.

SL4ever: Come on man; we're all waiting to get this thing over with, and your delay is just tying things up!

Brit: I know, I know; but do you have ANY idea how busy I am? Not just with work, but writing my book reviews, and designing a webpage amongst other things. Don't you care?

HK held up the thumb and forefinger on his right hand. They were, at best, only a millimeter apart.

Brit: Honestly?

HK closed the gap between finger and thumb.

JennX: We just want to get the next game started, that's all.

SpaceTime: Yeah, I have the further adventures os Transmodiar to inflict upon everyone! <Insert evil laughter here>

Tigs: This game has taken far too long as it is young man! You don't want me to write the ending myself do you?

Brit: Okay, I'm on it!

Brit walked over to the writing desk, and sat down. He waited for the Torch to shout at him to get on with it, but she was curiously silent.

Brit: What's up sweetie?

Torch (voice of Sabrina Lloyd): Everyone seems to be pretty much ignoring me this game. Normally I have far more lines than this!

Brit: Don't worry; why don't you tell me to 'get on with it'.

Torch (voice of Sabrina Lloyd): I really don't think I have the energy any more.

Brit read the previous sections of the story; noting the scorch marks around the edges of the desk. He was a little puzzled by what he read, so decided to seek further clarification.

Brit: Okay, so as I understand it, this is some kind of cross-over between Sliders, and the Highlander series?

DMD: That's about the size of it.

Brit: How am I supposed to write about that? I've seen the films, and they were bad enough, but I could only manage to watch one episode of the series because it was such complete and utter bollocks!

Brit just managed to duck in time as a ground-to-air MSR went streaking by over his head.

MSR: How DARE you say that Highlander is crap! It's a great series!

SweetOne and Yeontoo gave MSR a quizzical look.

MSR: Okay than, it's a pretty good series. Well I like it anyway!

Brit: But I don't know anything about the characters, how can I write about them? Who is this Methane bloke anyway?

MSR: It's METHOS! And that's why I did my briefing about it! So that people would know who is who! Didn't you read it?

Brit: I think it must have got caught up in the flaming that HK did. Do you have a spare copy?

MSR reached into pocket and pulled out her "Highlander for Dummies" guidebook, thrusting it into Brit's hands.

MSR: Now, read this, and then get on with your part!

Brit walked back to the desk. Oh well, there was nothing for it now but to write the end to the story.

And with that, Brit began to write........

------------------------------------------

Now that Wade was alone in the room, Mac and Methos moved in to put their plan into operation. Methos would enter thorugh the front, whilst Mac climbed in through the window in Wade's room, and then bring her out of there; along with the baby.

Methos stealthily picked the lock on the front door, and entered the hallway. It was dark inside, but his eyes had adjusted to the night; so at elast he wouldn't trip over any furniture. He made his way quietly across the hallway, but just as he was passing the kitchen door, it opened; flooding the hallway with light. Methos had seen a figure emerging from the kitchen, and without thinking had drawn his sword and was in the process of delivering a killing blow. It was only the expertise of thousands of years of fighting that enabled him to pull the blow short, mere inches away from the face he now recognised.

"Jessa.." he stumbled. "I didn't realise it was you! I nearly took your head off!"

Jessa was too stunned to say anything. It's not every day that you get to stare down the blade of a large sword that was just about to slice you in two.

"Methos? What are you doing here?" She hissed.

Methos didn't have time to reply. Logan had been following Jessa, and nearly seeing her lover split in two had a less than calming effct on her. The kettle she had been holding went flying towards Methos' head, along with the boiling water contained within. Whilst he was quick enough to duck the kettle, he still managed to get covered in the boiling liquid.

Screaming in pain, Methos dropped his sword, and staggered backwards. Logan barged her way past Jessa, and grabbed the fallen sword. Seeing what Logan was about to do, Jessa grabbed her arms, straining to keep Logan from cutting off Methos' head. Logan struggled with Jessa, trying to free herself; and it was at that moment that fate decided to take a hand in the proceedings. As Jessa tried to hold onto Logan, she inadvertantly stepped on the kettle that Logan had thrown. She lost her balance, and also lost her grip on Logan; who now free from the tussle, found that her momentum swung her round at an alarming rate. Methos, almost blinded by the boiling water had just that second started to stand up, and as Logan spun round; felt his own sword bite cleanly through his neck.

Headless figure of Methos fell to the floor. Jessa screamed, and Logan just stood there stunned. A strange, blue flickering light started to encompass the body of Methos.

In Wade's room, Duncan had grabbed her, and was just about to make his escape, when he heard the commotion from the hallway. At the death of a fellow Immortal he felt a strange burning sensation in his body, and immediately knew what had happened. Putting Wade gently on the bed, he rushed to the hallway to see the final death throws of his old friend.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Quinn, Maggie and Conrad had rushed out from the other room upon hearing the noise. They had already thought that things were bad, but now they had taken a distinct turn for the worse. Maggie looked at the timer. "We only have another thirty seconds here! We have to leave now!"

"I can't leave Wade behind with these people!" Shouted Conrad. "We have to take her with us!"

Quinn looked at him in disbelief. "But she's just about to give birth!"

"I don't care! We have to try and save her!" With that, Conrad rushed into Wade's room, followed by the other two, and bolted the door shut behind him. The two men each took one of Wade's arms, and helped her off the bed, as Maggie operated the timer, and the vortex opened before them.

"We can't leave you here with them Wade; come wth us!" Pleaded Conrad.

Wade was too weak to argue, and just nodded her ascension. There came a banging on the door, and a demanding Duncan ordered them to open.

"Quickly!" Shouted Maggie. "We don't have any time to waste; get her through!"

Quinn and Conrad stepped into the vortex, almost carrying Wade between them. With one final glance at the door, Maggie leapt through herself. Just in time too, it would seem, as Duncan smashed his way through the door; his katana held high. But he could do nothing but watch, as the vortex closed in front of him..............

------------------------------------------

Brit stood up from the desk. He had finally finished this game off, and perhaps now he could get back to work.

HK: Is it done?

Brit: Yep, all wrapped up and ready for the next game.

MSR walked over to the desk to see what he had done to her characters. What she saw before her was something of a shock.

MSR: You killed Methos!

Brit: Yes, his name was far too stupid for him to live.

MSR: But you liked Death! How can you kill Death?!

Tigs: Well, as Lovecraft said:
"That is not dead,
which can eternal lie.
Yet with strange eons,
Even death may die"

Recall317: Yeah, and it's just a story; it's not as if it really matters.

MSR: But he killed someone who's been around for over five thousand years! That's not fair! I'm going to write "it was all a dream" over Brit's segment so that he can live again!

Blinker: Please, don't do that! You know how long it took him to write this part! If you destroy it now we'll never get the next game started!

Brit: I think we should all have a drink to celebrate the end of another successful story.

ThomasMalthus: I'll get them lined up! I take it that everyone is having their usual? No doubt MSR will want a double!

HK: Brit old chap, define 'successful'?

Brit: Well, it's over now, isn't it?

And with that, they all retired to the bar for some well-earned drinks!



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