"Is this new?" she thought. "I thought I knew all the back alleys of the West end of the cave. Hmmm...it's really dark down there, better not go in alone."

Jenn X returned outside where she found CoolSlider taking a drag.

"Up for some exploring?" Jenn asked.

CoolSlider flicked some ash. "Why not? It's not like I've got anything else to do in this game."

"I found this tunnel. It looks pretty creepy."

"Not a problem," said CoolSlider. "I've got just the thing..."

********

Ten minutes later...

"Hey, you've already had your turn! I should be with SweetOne right now!" yelled Torch.

"Sorry, babe, but I need you to light the way," responded CS.

CS, Jenn, and Torch were now deep inside the passageway. Down and down it went, winding its way through the earth. The air grew heavy and the temperature dropped. Torch began to flicker. Yet ahead, there was an unknown source of light.

"Woaaaahhhh," said CS as he turned the last corner. A vast blue opening stood before them. It was like a vortex, but it was very distorted.

"What do you think it is?" asked Jenn.

"Well, it sure as hell ain't the Aurora Borealis."

CS placed Torch in a cave fixture and got up close to the fissure. He put his hand forward...

*********

The next thing either of them knew, they were back in the main cave.

"What just happened?" asked Jenn.

"Beats me. I must have activated it when I reached in. Looks like it must be part of Project Narnia. We're back upstairs," said CS.

"Where's Torch?"

"Aw hell, we must have left her down there. Come on."

CS and Jenn walked past the TV room where SpaceTime was watching Time Trax on the Maybe Machine.

"Yo, Space, we found this new transporter thingie, wanna see it?"

SpaceTime didn't flinch, remaining completely engrossed in his episode.

"Hey, fucko! I'm talking to you!"

No response.

Yeontoo and Mychand walked by and joined SpaceTime.

"Hey Space, mind if we watch too?" asked Yeontoo.

"Sure, beats watching TV by myself."

"You guys all suck!" said CS. "You know that, right?"

Still no response.

"Oh yeah? Ignore this! Come on Jenn, let's flip them."

Jenn and CS got behind the couch, preparing to topple the other three.

"On the count of 3! 1...2...woah!"

Jenn and CS fell right through the couch.

********

"Oh my God! We're invisible and have no matter!!!!" said Jenn.

"That vortex must have put us on the astral plane or something, just like in 'Gillian of the Spirits,'" said CS.

"I'd say it's more like what like happened in 'The Alternateville Horror,'" said Jenn. "What are we going to do?"

"What am I going to do? What every man on Earth has ever dreamed of!!!! Ladies' locker room, here I come!" proclaimed CS, taking off at a brisk pace.

"I've got to find help!" said Jenn. Jenn raced to the common room, hoping one of the other members could see her. When she arrived, she was greeted by an incredible sight.

"Blinker????"

"Oh Jenn, not you too!" Blinker said.

Jenn was taken aback. "You can see me?"

"Afraid so."

"Gee, Blink, thanks. You sure know how to make a girl feel special..."

"Come with me," Blinker said. "There's something you need to see."

Blinker led Jenn back to the common room of the cave where most of the others were. DieselMickeyDolenz had enlisted ThomasMalthus, SweetOne and Slider_Sarah to build a gigantic house of cards. Sabre_Edge, SouthernSlider and BritSlider were tossing a baseball around. Tigs and Hurrikain sat at the bar trading mixed drink recipes.

But they were not alone. For hovering around them were faces Jenn had not seen in a long, long time. Huddled by the bar were Chaser9 and Qball79. Robin14334 and misswells were running between SE, SS and Brit as if they were playing keepaway. Over by the house of cards, nycslider and Charmed took turns pretending they were Gamera attacking the structure. And Nobuyuki was there! And LovePigeon and Slider_Paul! They moved in and out of the action, completely unnoticed by the other regulars.

"Oh my God..." said Jenn. "I thought these people had all moved on."

Blinker shook his head sadly.

"One by one we all managed to make our way down that fateful passage. And we've all been here ever since," he said. Blinker led Jenn over to Chaser and Qball.

"I could sure use a drink right now," Jenn said.

"You're welcome to try," said Qball. Jenn reached for HK's Long Island Iced Tea, but her fingers couldn't grasp it.

"If we can't eat or drink, how will we survive?" asked Jenn.

"I've often asked myself that very question," said Chaser. "But I've been trapped here for nearly two years and I'm still going strong."

"The portal phased us into a new realm of existence," said Blinker. "An existence that relies heavily on contrivances for the sake of plot."

"So how do we get back?"

"The vortex doesn't exist on our plane, so there's no way out," said Qball. "What's really infuriating is that the techology to save us is lying around the cave in plain sight. We just can't get hold of it!"

"If we could only get a message across to the others, they could save us," said Chaser. "Heck! If just once, one of us would actually tell the others about the vortex instead of walking through it like a moron, we'd have been freed years ago."

"Hey, don't blame me! CoolSlider's the one who activated it!" said Jenn.

"CoolSlider's here too? Where is he?"

**********

"That's right, baby. Take it all off..." said CoolSlider. "Oooooh yeah...."

**********

Meanwhile, SL4ever and dellyone were in the Theatre watching and riffing on "Blow."

"I still can't believe they made this movie without Kari," said SL4ever.

"Talk about NAN!" said delly.

As SL4 watched, he suddenly felt a strange sensation come over him. The Theatre disappeared and he was in a cold, dark place.

"SL4ever..." a voice whispered out.

"Sabrina?" thought SL. He could see something flickering in the shadows, but he couldn't make it out.

"Help me..."

Sl4ever blinked and he was back in the Theatre. He jumped to his feet.

"What's wrong?" asked delly.

"I think...I think I just saw Torch..."

"Torch? Who's Torch?" asked Diana. SL4ever and dellyone glared at her.

"Oopsie, wrong skit..." said Diana, as she slinked her way out of the Theatre.

"Quickly, let's find the others!" declared SL4ever. "There's plot afoot!"

"Just like Wade did for Remmy in 'Requiem'?" asked Slider_Sarah.

"Kinda...but if Torch has been doused in a fishbowl, there's going to be hell to pay," growled SL4.

"Wherever she is, she's in a cold, dark place," said dellyone.

"Then I'm the man for the job!"

Vigeant entered the room in full miner regalia, including the obligiatory headlamp. "I've been digging holes all month; finally one might have a purpose!"

"That's fourteen of us. Where are the others?" asked delly.

"DMD's getting Recall317 out of bed. He's still kind of...out of it...from the fairy dust competition.," said Tigs, giggling the whole time.

DMD entered the room, propping up a singing Recall:

"I'm Louis the Fourteenth, the Sun King!
I'm Louis, the grand ruler of France
I'm Louis the Fourteenth, the Sun King!
I'm proud so I strut and I prance!"

"Hoo boy," muttered DMD. "Are you sure we really need to bring him along?"

"He's good for comic relief," said HK.

As Recall completed his jig, his attention strayed to the back wall.

"Blinker! Man, it's good to see you. Been a long time, bro."

From Recall's perspective, Blinker, Chaser and JennX were standing right in front of him and he went to give them all a hug. But all the rest of the room saw was Recall with open arms walking straight into a wall and collapsing in a heap.

"It's sad how some people can't hold their fairy dust," said Tigs, shaking her head.

"He can see us!" yelled JennX. She leaned over Recall swatting at his head. "Wake up! Wake up!"

"It must be a by-product of the fairy dust," speculated Qball79. "It's somehow altered his mind and opened it up to extrasensory perceptions."

"We need to get a message to him before good old Robert Downey Jr. here starts to come down," said Blinker.

While Recall's revelation caused a whirlwind of excitement among the invisible members, the others could care less. "Come on," said SL4ever. "We've got a Torch to find!"

"Huzzah!" yelled the room as SL4ever led the way out followed by Vigeant and the others. As they marched, Vig sang, "It's a long way to Tipperary, to the sweetest girl I know..."

While they exited, Chaser barked out orders to the others. "Follow them down! Maybe the light from the vortex can illuminate you temporarily and you can prevent them from activating it. The last thing we need is for everyone to get trapped on the other side. Blinker and I will stay with Charlie Sheen here and hope he regains consciousness still blitzed."

"Aye! Aye!"

The others took off in pursuit. As Jenn was about to join them, CoolSlider strolled back into the cave.

"CoolSlider! Back so soon?" asked Jenn.

"Yeah, Project Narnia works at this level," said CS. " I did a grand tour of all my favorite celebrities' changing rooms. You'll never guess who's actually a man..."

*************************

SL4ever was in another place again.

"Torch? Torch?"

"Getting closer..."

"Where are you? Tell me!"

"Follow my voice...feeling weak...need more wood..."

SL4ever snapped out of it. Suddenly, a passage he had never seen before opened up to him.

"This way!" he cried.

*************************

"I think he's coming around..."

Recall317 opened his eyes. Everything was pretty blurry, but he was pretty sure Captain Crunch and Lucky the Leprechaun were standing over him.

"Recall, can you see us?"

"Sure I can, Captain!"

Blinker looked at Chaser. "Did he just call you Captain?"

"And don't worry, Mr. Leprechaun, sir. I won't go after your lucky charms."

"Yeah....riiiiiiight," said Blinker.

"Let me handle this, "said Chaser. "Recall, the Captain needs your services."

"Do we have to rescue the crunchberries?" asked Recall.

"Um...yes, that's exactly it!" said Chaser. "You're the only one who can save their berry goodness now!"

Recall leaped to his feet. "Just tell me what I need to do!"

"We need you to grab some equipment..."

*********************

"Torch!"

The others had made their way down the passageway. When they found her, Torch was barely more than an ember.

"Danger....the vor..." said Torch, before falling silent.

"Torch is in trouble, we need to get her back up to the main cave!" yelled BritSlider.

"Torch, nothing. What the >:-# is that?" asked Sabre_Edge. The others turned to stare at the vortex in front of them.

*********************

Blinker, Chaser and Recall were running at full speed down the passageway, item in hand.

"I only hope to God we make it in time," said Blinker. "Because if it's up to Pixie Boy here, we're screwed."

*********************

Robin14334 was doing cartwheels in front of the vortex trying to get the attention of the Story Cave members.

"Sure, it works in Gillian of the Spirits, but we're >:-# out of luck," said misswells.

Sabre_Edge and ThomasMalthus were examining the vortex, but still maintaining a safe distance.

"It's no ordinary vortex. It appears to be in a state of stasis of some sort," said TM.

"I wonder what caused its creation," said S_E.

"What causes anything in this cave?" shrugged HK.

Over by the side, SL4ever cradled the dying Torch in his arms.

"We need to do something..ow!...for her before she's....ow!...completely extinguished," he said.

"Anyone got a lighter?" asked Yeontoo.

Everyone began searching their pockets, but turned up empty.

"Jeez, where's CoolSlider when you need him?" asked SpaceTime.

"CoolSlider's missing?"
"Hey you're right!"
"Funny how we completely forgot about him."

CoolSlider was burning up with rage. "I hate you all!"

JennX elbowed him. "At least they noticed YOU were missing!" She folded her arms and huffed.

"Maybe we should send someone through the vortex and see what happens," said S_E. "I nominate SpaceTime."

"I second that!"
"Third"
"Throw the bum in!"

SouthernSlider and Mychand each grabbed SpaceTime by an arm and hauled him over to the vortex.

"Why me?" asked Space.

"Because it's fitting that TRANSMODIAR make the first journey," said S_E.

"Oh...you want Arturo...not SpaceTime," said ST.

"Get in there."

S_E was about to shove ST through when he heard Recall shout out, "Stop, by order of Captain Crunch and the General Mills/Post alliance!"

************************

"Let me get this straight," said BritSlider. "You say Lucky the Leprechaun is standing beside you right now and he wants us to save his friends on the other side. And who would these friends be? The Trix rabbit and Toucan Sam?"

"I'm telling you the truth," said Recall. "If you don't believe me, ask Jenn!"

Some looks of confusion. "Oh, Jenn!" exclaimed Slider_Sarah. "Gee, she's missing too."

"FINALLY!!!!!" yelled Jenn.

"You can see Jenn?" asked Tigs.

"Yup, Jenn, CoolSlider, Qball79, Chaser, Blinker...hey where did Captain Crunch go?"

"He's starting to come down," said Chaser to Blinker. "Quickly, Recall, we're running out of time."

"You can see all these people?" asked HK.

"Yeah, Chaser says they all fell through this vortex at one point or another and have been invisible ever since. And he also says 'thanks for noticing you self-absorbed &%$#$&*%s!'"

"That's incredible!" said SS. "So how do we get them out?"

"With this!" In his hands, was a rope.

*********************

"You sure this will work?" asked Vig.

Vig was tied to one end of the rope while the others held on tight to the other end.

"When you go through, you should be able to see everyone else," explained Recall. "They'll grab on to the rope with you, and we'll pull you all back through."

"It seems a little too simple," said Vig.

"What do you want from me?" said Recall. "I'm going on vacation this Wednesday and I don't have time to bring this to a thoughtful conclusion!"

"Here goes nothing!" yelled Vig. Vig jumped through the portal. The others felt a mighty tug.

"Hold it steady!" yelled DMD. The weight began to increase and the fifteen of them began to slide toward the portal.

"Hurry up Vig! We can't hold out much longer!" hollered TM.

Slowly they inched toward the gaping rip in the fabric of space.

"Screw it! I'm not falling through that hole!" yelled SpaceTime.

"If you let go of that rope, so help me I'll haunt you from the other side so long as you live!" screamed BritSlider.

There was a jerk at the rope, and everyone was sent flying backwards. When they got back to their feet, there were a good 30 people in the room.

"Quickly, CoolSlider!" said SL4ever. "Give me your lighter."

In a flash, CoolSlider had his Zippo open and Torch was back in business.

"Huzzah!" cried everyone.

"Looks like I saved the day once again," said CoolSlider. "That'll teach you guys to leave me out of your skits."

*********************

There was much rejoicing that night in the cave as old friends were reunited.

"This is great!" said HK. "Story Game #30 will be our biggest ever."

"Good luck with that, you guys" said Blinker.

"What? You're not going to play?"

"Dude, I've been stuck on the other side a LONG time. I've got THINGS to do," said Blinker. The others nodded in assent.

"Oh well, we've still got the 17 of us," said DMD.

"Eighteen of us!" said Jenneration_X

And they all laughed heartily.

***********************

Postscript:

As for the vortex deep in the inner levels of the cave, it still exists to this day. To ward off future story gamers from running across it, a fiendish device of the most cunning nature was put in place.

"Hehehe...they'll never think to look for the vortex behind these curtains," said Vigeant.

THE END

R317