Let the game begin!

And with that, BritSlider began to write.......

-----

A shimmering blue vortex appeared ten feet off the ground. It rapidly grew in size, and an opening formed in the centre. From this opening shot two men and two women; who all landed in a heap on the ground. Picking themselves up off the grass, they took stock of their surroundings.

"Well, it looks like we've landed right in the middle of the park." Said Remmy. "It's been a while since I had some grass to cushion my landing!"

The other man cast a rueful look at him. "Grass? It was me you landed on!" Complained Mallory.

Maggie laughed; "Well if he landed on your head then it's no wonder he found it soft!"

Mallory didn't seem overly amused by her joke, but the others all joined in with the merriment. Remmy clasped an arm around Mallory's shoulder; "Take it easy buddy, I had years of landing on the Professor; you're a much smaller target then him to aim for!"

This time Mallory laughed, he had heard enough stories about Professor Arturo to know that he was somewhat corpulent. "Yeah, well next time you go in first and we'll see how good my aim is!"

Diana had been looking at the park around them, trying to discern some clues as to what kind of world they had landed in. "It all looks fairly normal. There's an advert for the Niners' game on Monday night, nothing seems to much out of place here....." Her words came to an abrupt halt when she looked out across the Bay. "Although I could be mistaken! That should be the Golden Gate Bridge, but it seems more....blue to me."

Maggie saw it too. "Yeah, it's a strange blue though, more like...."

"Azure!" Cut in Remmy.

"Yeah," agreed Maggie. "That's just what I was going to say!"

Mallory turned to Remmy, a sudden look of concern on his face. "You okay buddy? You seem to have gone a little pale?"

Remmy did seem to the others that he might as well have seen a ghost. He shook his head, as if to shake off a bad thought. "It's just that I had a very bad experience on a planet with an Azure Gate Bridge; you remember me telling you about the 'evil professor', right?"

"We remember Remmy," said Diana, soothingly. "But the odds of this being the same world are astronomical."

Remmy levelled a gaze at her; "Yeah, but it could happen, right?"

"It is possible, but extremely unlikely. How long have we got here anyway?"

"Six days, fourteen hours," Maggie read off the timer.

"Well then," said Remmy. "That gives us enough time to find out for sure!"

With that, he strode off, seemingly with great purpose. The others hurried to catch up with him. It wasn't too long before they realised that he was headed towards the University campus. Evidently he intended to see for sure if this was the world that he had been on before; no matter how long the odds might be of it being the same place.

In good time, they all made it to the campus grounds. The journey had involved very little by way of discussion. Initially they had tried to reason with Remmy that this wouldn't be the same world he knew, but they soon realised that he was not in the mood for logic. He was going to see this one through to conclusion, and there would be no stopping him.

They soon found the Physics annex of the University, and Remmy hurried up the stairs to where the Professor's office should be. Be breathed a little sigh of relief when he saw the name "Maximillian Arturo" stencilled on the door. There was no secretary to stop him, so he just walked straight in. The man was there, sitting behind a desk; apparently grading some papers. He didn't look up to see his visitors, but his voice rumbled like a thunderclap at them: "Can't you blithering idiots read a simple sign? It quite clearly says 'Do not disturb' on my door! I don't have time to......." His words trailed off as he looked at the intruders. "Good heavens! Is that really you Mr. Brown?"

Remmy was unsure for a moment, but the look in this Arturo's eyes could only mean one thing. Deep in his heart he knew that the Arturo that slid with them from this world had not been the one that started with them on their journey. But now he was reunited with his old friend once more. He was somewhat taken aback when Arturo rushed from behind his desk, and grabbed him in a (rather friendly) bear-hug! "I thought I would never see you all again! When my double went on the slide with you I feared the worst!"

Maggie was beaming a huge smile, and gave the Arturo a big hug. "It's good to see you again Professor!"

Arturo looked confused. "I'm sorry madam, but you seem to have the better of me. Have we met before?"

Maggie looked a little sheepish, her eyes turned to the floor as she spoke; "I'm sorry, I guess it was your double that I met. I...I've been doing this long enough that I should have known that! But the Arturo I met was a great man; he saved many people on my world from being killed by pulsars!"

Arturo looked to Remmy for reassurance that this wasn't just some mad woman he had picked up off the streets! "It's okay Professor," said Remmy. "It's a long story, but we've got plenty of time to fill you in on the details."

It was then that Arturo noticed the others, and a clouded look crossed his face. "Where are Mr. Mallory and Miss Wells? Surely they would have been only too happy to join this little shindig?"

Remmy looked as if he had been punched in the stomach. "That's a long story too, and not a pleasant one. Wade was captured by the damned Kromaggs, and sent to some kind of breeding camp! But she did help us escape from them when they caught us not so long ago. It's an image I'll not forget too soon; but I'll tell you about it in good time old friend. As for Quinn, well....."

Mallory stepped forward. "I'm Quinn. Well, sort of. He and I are merged into one person; his consciousness is a part of me."

"Good heavens!" Exclaimed Arturo. "What on earth could have caused that to happen?"

Diana stepped forward, and introduced herself. "I can explain the precise details of it if you like Professor? Remmy has told me a lot about you; it's a pleasure to actually meet you in person."

"The pleasure is mine, dear lady," Arturo replied, gently taking Diana's offered hand. "It will be nice to spend some time with a true intellectual."

He looked to them all again. "But enough of this! I have been stranded on this world for long enough, my attempts to make a timer of my own has been rather less than successful, but now I can dream again that I might finally return home. How long do we have on this world before we slide?"

Maggie fished the timer out of her pocket. "Six days, fourteen hours, and....aw hell! The timer is stuck! It's reading the same now as it was when landed here!"

Arturo took the timer from her hands and stared hard at it. "I've had to repair this thing a few times," he said. "I'm sure there is a simple enough explanation for it!"

Diana didn't seem to sure. "I could be wrong. But I think that landing on the same world twice might have affected it. We might never be able to fix it."

"Well then my dear", began Arturo. "We shall just have to see what we can do about that"

-----

BritSlider stood up from the desk. He gave the DSE a little check to make sure that it was working properly, and full of fuel, then walked back into the main part of the cave.

Brit: Well, I'm done; time for the next person to do their bit!

Slider_Sarah: Well it's about time! We've been waiting long enough!

SpaceTime: Yeah, it's no fair making us wait all this time; that beginning better have been worth it.....

WHHOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Everyone in the cave whipped their heads round to the desk. They knew now what the sound of the DSE going off was like, but it shouldn't have gone off on it's own!

A grinning SL4ever stood in front of the desk, tongs in hand; appearing to eat something from the end of them.

HK: What's going on? You can't have written a dream sequence that quickly?

SweetOne: Yeah, and it's not even your go yet!

SL4ever: Relax, the toaster in here is broken; so I just wrote "It was all a dream" in cheese on my piece of bread, and voila! Instant cheese toasties!

Brit was filled with a sudden dread. He rushed over to the desk, but his story part was nowhere to be seen.

Brit: What the hell have you done? You've burnt my part all for the sake of a cheese toasty!

Vigeant: Oh man; it took him long enough to write it as it is! Don't tell me we'll have to wait another week now!

SL4ever: Relax, I took the manuscript off the desk before I started cooking. It's safe and sound.

HK: Okay, but from now no-one uses the DSE for preparing food without making sure that the manuscript is safe! Got it?

All: Yeah.

Torch <sorrowful voice of Sabrina Lloyd>: I could make cheese toasties, but nobody ever asked me. No, they have to wait until they get their new toy! I'm just an afterthought now, consigned forever to the scrap heap. No more to take pride of place by the desk, or to 'whoosh' my own flame. Like a discarded toy the day after Christmas; once useful but now just broken and forgotten, forever more to be............

Brit: Are you quite finished with the self-pity?

Torch <voice of Sabrina Lloyd>: Not really, I had a few more analogies to get through before I was done.

Brit: Well enough of that, it's time for you to be passed on to the next writer; and then you'll get to say your favourite line!

Torch <voice of Sabrina Lloyd>: WILL YOU GET ONE WITH IT!!!!

Brit: Very well my dear.

And with that, Brit passed the torch to Sabre_Edge

"Just Kidding! Just Kidding!" SE feverly rubbed out the phrase.

===

Arturo paced slowly back and forth with his hands clasped behind his back, lost in thought. He couldn't believe the mind-blowing story that Remmy just told him - but he couldn't discredit that Remmy believed it, every word. Quinn was more than his protégé, he thought of him as a son.

Diana sat at a small desk nearby, turning a semi-disassembled timer over and over in her hands. She was mumbling to herself about how inadequate she felt, and how flimsy this timer seemed to be, considering it's capabilities. Every now and again, she looked up at the stout man that seemed to feel such a loss for people he hadn't seen in several years - people she never met. Lord, he liked to pace.

Mallory leaned back in the Professor's chair and propped his feet up, interrupting everyone's lethargic musings, "So what if the countdown is stuck? Maybe it is a short circuit or something in the display's wiring. My watch is still working - and by my math, we still got six days and 11 hours before the next slide."

Maggie playfully whacked Mallory in the back of the head, "I wouldn't trust your math to buy Happy Meals. Besides, we have to have the countdown to the last second." Mallory made a wry face as he smoothed his hair back in place.

"Mr. Mallory … it seems odd to call you that …Miss Davis has already looked into that simple conclusion and found the electronics perfectly intact," Arturo looked toward the ceiling for inspiration, hope, clue - or perhaps patience with a much slower Mallory. "Perhaps I should take a look at it."

Diana set the timer down carefully and leaned back with a sigh. "Of course Professor. I still think it may have been because we landed on the same world again. I hope not, but I…."

"Well, wait a second girl," Remmy spoke up for the first time after mulling it over himself for a long while. He held up one finger, speaking slowly, "We landed here the first time with the first timer that our Quinn made." Holding a second finger up, he continued, "Second, this isn't the first time we landed on the same world again." He turned to Maggie for her confirmation as he nodded, " 'Member back on that strange TV evangelist world where they claimed to slide people but really fried 'em in that incinerator?"

As Maggie slowly nodded, Mallory's eyes seemed to light up a little but his face looked puzzled... like he knew he remembered something but really couldn't place the form or image.

Remmy took note, and a small comfort as Maggie confirmed what he said, "Yeah! We bounced back and forth to discredit those purple robed religious guys." Maggie plopped back down on the leather sofa the Professor had in his office, not so great memories flooding her mind.

Diana set her elbows on the table and placed her forehead in her hands. She sighed loudly, "So what is wrong with the timer this time...?"

Arturo bent to look over the timer. "Miss Davis, could you please remove the bottom half of the timer's case. I am highly unfamiliar with this version of the timer, but maybe it could lead to a clue." The Professor's face was lined in concern, and a slight dash of hope as Diana sighed.

She reluctantly began unscrewing the small screws that secured the plastic together, "Sure Professor, but ..."

"Great Mary and Joseph! What is that!?" Arturo yelled as he peered closely at the newly revealed component. His eyes widened as perspiration popped out on his brow.

"That? That's the crystal. Don't worry, it's a new one." As the professor stared open mouthed, Diana became puzzled. "Didn't Quinn's have one of those?" Diana looked to the other veterans. "It didn't?"

"No my dear woman, Quinn's timer did NOT have one of those." Arturo studied the vibrating crystal through his spectacles. "So having all things considered, either the problem lies with the dynamic movement of the multiverse itself, or something is affecting the synchronization abilities of this spectacular mineral."

Flopping back in his chair, Mallory rolled his eyes non-too-discretely - making Maggie grimace as she checked the Professor's reaction. Assured that the pair at the table seemed to be absorbed in timer function talks, and not in Mallory, she leaned down whispering, "Behave! The professor I knew could scald you with his tongue in less time it takes to tie your shoe!"

Feeling very bored, and very not warned, Mallory hopped up announcing, "I'm hungry!" Slapping his hands together and rubbing them, he licked his lips, "I can taste it now. An extra large deep-dish pizza with …mushrooms, …sausage, …pepperoni, …onions, …pineapple, ….all under two layers of some luscious, mouthwatering cheese…." Mallory closed his eyes, groaning. "Oh man, we gotta get delivery… you got money Pro? …'course you do, you live here…. Where is that phone book…" Mallory began a thorough search of the office, with Maggie's help.

"Over there!" Arturo snapped, pointing, annoyed with the younger man's interruption. Mallory grabbed the blue pages, and leafed thru them.

"Pizza Inn? Pizza Hut? No Pizza Hovels? Man, those are the BEST Pizza's in the world!!" Mallory frowned like a baby.

"Nah, I remember Pizza Shanty's being the best" Maggie looked far away in thought, dreaming of her world's pizza monopoly.

"Just call Pizza Hut!" Remmy grinned, "don't worry, you won't be disappointed. Just make mine without the pineapple."

Mallory grinned back, "Dude, you aint ate til you ate the Pineapple."

"Nevertheless…"

"Okay okay" After Mallory hung up, he stared pacing, "Man, 45 minutes.. Man"

***

"You ordered Pizza without everything on it?!" the Professor was shocked! As he put his wallet away and grabbed a slice, he wondered what that yellowish orange stuff was.

"I've got it!" Diana jumped up, suddenly full of energy. Her pizza fell to the floor in her excitement. "I can think I can fix the timer! All I have to do is..."

===

"You are leaving it at that?!" SpaceTime blurted out as SE set the quill down.

"Yep, you come up with something, chief."

"You're part was pretty lame, dude," ST said as he dropped into the vacated writer's seat, trying to get back at SE for leaving him with a cliffhanger.

"Yeah, well that's what you get when you are number two on the list and have to do the details-of-the-problem filler part. Ugh, I hate just doing dialogue."

"BY THE SEVEN SINS OF INFORMANT!" Space yelled as he sat at the desk with a 'flourish.' "No one gives me any rules, we've got a torch floating around that happens to be sentient and talks in Sabrina Lloyd's voice... it sounds like 'Final Fantasy' night at S'! FINE. You'll get your story. Just be greatful this isn't BBSA..."

====

"Wait!" Diana yelled while the others were quarelling about ALL-IMPORTANT pizza. "I know just how to fix the..."

Diana's rare venture into SPEAKING was cut short when a pick axe was driven into that malformed LEMON she called a head. Those big chicklets Diana called TEETH clattered on the ground.

Maggie, Rembrandt and Mallory looked in shock as Professor Arturo continued to bludgeon their silent, trivial companion to death. The first hit had killed; the others were simply for the Prof's maniacal zest for dismemberment.

"Professor?! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Rembrandt yelled.

"WORKING UP AN APPETITE," the Professor shot back. "It's been twenty minutes since I ate and I want the lion's share of the pizza!"

Suddenly, Mallory spasmed worse than Michael Jackson looking at HOT MAN ON MAN ACTION and collapsed to the ground. Maggie rushed to her lover's side and proceeded to make out with the twitching body, since it seemed logical that this would be the last time they'd get it on.

Meanwhile, Rembrandt was looking at the Professor, who was grinning sadistically and licking the blood from the pick axe.

"Come now, Mr. Brown, isn't this exactly what you wanted to happen? Reunite with an old friend? Watch Diana die horribly, painfully? Watch Mallory and Maggie have sex while you watch?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"But nothing! You have everything you ever wanted in life!"

"Professor!" Rembrandt was searching for a response to all the lunacy. "What is going on, here?"

"Don't call me 'Professor' anymore, Mr. Brown," Arturo said with girlish glee. He was twirling his hair in his left hand; the pick-axe was still in his left. "Call me... TRANSMODIAR, GOD OF SLIDING."

Arturo forgot about his hair for a moment and raised his left hand... Rembrandt slumped to the ground.

When he woke up, there was a VERY naked midget standing over him playing "Find the Cyclops." The Professor stood a few feet away, dressed in nothing but a black leather corset and a smile.

Rembrandt was tied down. Mallory was standing in the corner with a ball-gag in his mouth.

"Welcome to MY world, Mr. Brown," Arturo said as he snickered. The midget laughed hysterically and then slapped his buttocks.

Rembrandt cried.

====

"Satisfied?" Space said.

"Absolutely NOT," the rest replied in unison.

"T.S.," Space replied. "Put me first next time, and it'll be even better..."

NEXT!

- ST

SL4: This too shall pass. Let’s have a hot cup of story, shall we?

****

Maggie woke up. She yawned, stretched, and rolled out of bed. She walked towards the bathroom, but stopped suddenly in the doorway.

“Good morning,” Bobby said, from the shower, with a cheerful grin.

<WHHOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!>

****

SL4: Hey! Those were my favorite two hands you just burned!

DSE <voice of Peckinballs> : Nice try. But *I* can spot a lame copout a mile away.

BS: Come on, man! Did you see the last story segment? Let us get one free pass!

DSE: YOU brought me in here, only 3 story segments ago! And you’re already regretting it! Just remember, if you sacrifice a little liberty for the sake of security, you end up losing both. You opened Pandora’s box, so now you have to live with the consequences! It doesn’t matter how wretched a story segment is from now on, NO MORE lame copouts! That includes dreams, turning everything that happened into a movie on the big screen, having the previous segment happening to doubles or whatever. You can flame whoever did the last part if you don't like what they did, but you have to live with the havoc they created. Am I clear?

BS: I guess. >:-#

SL4: Fine, fine. No lame copouts. So I guess I’ll have to do something worse, unleash my demented imagination.

Slider_Sarah: Oh lord.

Rec: <gulp>

TM: This is going to be ugly.

My: And I’m going to have to follow it!

DSE: NO! Look, we can do a deal! A one time only deal!

SL4: Too late, I have an idea. MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

DSE: For the love of God! For the love of the rest of the writers!

DMD: Yeah! Think of the rest of the writers!

SL4: Now then, back to the writing desk I go...

****

Maggie woke with a start. For a second she wondered hopefully if it had all been a dream. But then her eyes focused on Diana’s chilling corpse sprawled out six feet away and she had to admit that it had all happened. Reality sucked.

Sounds that seemed suspiciously like maniacal laughter and buttock slapping drifted up the basement stairs. Apparently things were getting ugly down there. What had gotten into her before? Why had she thrown herself lustfully on Mallory like that? Thinking about it now it seemed like it had been another person doing it. Or that she was under the influence of a drug or something. But no one else had control of her body. She had no drug hangover now, and in any case her military training had revealed she had a high tolerance for such things (no pun intended) so Maggie had no idea what had come over her.

No time to worry about that now. She needed a weapon. A guitar was leaning against the wall in a corner. She briefly considered it until she spotted a little league bat across the room on the couch. Hmmmm, tempting but not punishing enough.

“Come Rufferto,” Arturo’s voice boomed from below. “Let us get the Flower Girl before she wakes!”

“Hee hee! I want her rose petals!”

There was a harpoon gun mounted on the wall in the hallway. Maggie dropped the bat and started for it. Then her eyes fell on the perfect weapon and she grinned from ear to ear.

***

Remmy was having a hard time controlling his tears. What the hell was wrong with him? Sure, he was the “Cryin’ Man” and all, but he always had a mastery over the waterworks until now. Something was happening to him. A glance over at Mallory, especially the wild look in the man’s eyes, convinced Remmy that something was happening to all of them.

He watched Arturo climb the stairs, doing all he could to keep his eyes focused on the Professor’s head and nowhere else. Arturo went through the doorway, followed by the naked midget. A second later Remmy heard six things. They were, in succession:

!!!!BZZZZZZZZTHP!!!!

AIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!

<sound of an elephant falling from 40 feet up to land on a pile of wooden slats. The sound was accompanied by every floor joist in sight straining visibly before deciding reluctantly not to shatter.>

!!!!BZZZZZZZZTHP!!!!

Aiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!!!

<Sound of a kitten falling three inches. The floor joists didn’t seem to notice.>

Then Maggie was in the doorway. Halfway down she tossed aside the Pistol Prod she’d found. Once down she quickly found the keys and released Remmy. He didn’t care for the wild look in her eyes either, but now was not the time to remark about it.

They released Mallory, dragged the two unconscious men downstairs, and chained them to the walls. Then they hurriedly left Arturo’s house.

****

“So what the >:-# is going on?” Remmy voiced aloud as he drove the Professor’s car.

“We shouldn’t have >:-#-ing left Diana like that.” Mallory moaned. He didn’t feel well but they had other problems at the moment.

“We didn’t have a choice. We can’t bring a dead body with us and we can’t go to the police and risk our timer being confiscated or being separated when the timer runs out.” Remmy said strongly but not insensitively.

“Another problem is that the timer is >:-#-ed up and the only people who could help us are either dead or crazier than a Farscape fan!” Maggie snapped.

Remmy’s eyes narrowed. “We’re all cussing, all of the sudden. That’s out of character for all of us. And what you did Maggie-.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“No, I’m saying that something is happening to us. We’re changing. Acting out of character.”

Maggie saw where he was going. “You think that there might be a mind altering virus or radiation at work here. Something going on that is changing us. Maybe driving us insane?”

“It would explain what happened to the Professor and whoever his little buddy was.”

They rode in silence for a long moment.

Mallory was feeling worse now. “You mean to tell me that there could be something on this world that drives everyone nuttier than Barry Manilow? That this could be a world filled with mad people?”

“It might just be localized to here for now, or it might be world wide. Either way, where we are is affected so it might as well be the whole world.” Maggie answered. “And for now it seems that they can at least pass for normal in public. Who knows how much longer that will last.”

They passed a young woman who was standing in the bed of a Ford Truck rubbing green Jello on her arms. She grinned happily at them and returned to her task.

“Maybe not much longer.” Maggie added.

“It’s hard to tell, though. This is LA, you might see that in any world’s LA.” Remmy observed.

“But the bottom line is that Diana is dead, we’re in a city filled with people more psychotic than Rosanne Barr on a diet, our timer doesn’t work, and if we don’t get it fixed we’re going to be stuck here for the rest of our short >:-#-ed lives. Oh, and the only other person who can help us is tied to a wall, wearing a black leather corset, and calling himself TRANSMONKEY, GEEK OF SLIDING!!!”

“I think that was TRANSMODIAR.” Maggie offered.

“WHAT THE >:-# EVER!” Mallory shouted. He sighed and then said, “I’m sorry. Whatever it is, we’re obviously being affected as well.”

Maggie waved the apology away. “It’s okay. I think you’ve summed up the situation well. We’re >:-#-ed.”

“Unless ...,” Remmy turned the car at the next light and started headed for Quinn’s old house. “What if the other three made it back? The Professor obviously had plans for us so he didn’t mention it, but what if they made it back? That means there might be a Quinn, Wade, and Remmy on this world. They’d be more deranged than Bob Barker on Viagra, but maybe not AS insane as Arturo was. Or maybe crazy in a non harmful way.”

“We’d be taking an awfully big risk. We’ve witnessed how they can play normal until they suck us in.” Mallory fretted.

“The stakes are as high as the risks.” Maggie replied. “We don’t have any choice but to hope that Quinn is insane in a Rosie O’Donnell way rather than a Jack Nicholson way. If we don’t try, we’ll be stuck here and die at the hands of some lunatic anyway. Of course, our doubles might have never made it back, in which case we’re >:-#-ed.”

“We’re going to find out in a minute,” Remmy remarked, “his house is one block away.”

****

The door to the basement opened. Leila Vonbaeck walked down. She was wearing a bedsheet wrapped sloppily around her body and a pair of men’s underwear on her head. Her eyes were bottomless pits of insanity.

“Ah, Miss Vonbaeck! Kindly release us so that we might exercise our vengeance upon those who have left us imprisoned.”

She eyed them as if sizing them up for a butcher’s block. Finally, she murmured, “I’ll do it on one condition?”

“What?” Arturo cried. “Anything!”

“Let me slap your buttocks first.”

****

SL4 <tossing writing pen away> : Well! I managed to rip off Pulp Fiction and one of my own short stories! Woo Hoo!!

CS: Yawn. SL4ever plundering from other sources to fit his current needs. Never seen THAT before.

<SL4ever gets up from the writing desk and runs into Mychand, who is glaring at him> SL4: What????

My: I hate you.

SL4: Why?

My: Look what you left me!!! What am I supposed to do with THAT???

SL4: Well, we lost our chance at a serious and heartwarming reunion story ... so I had to morph it into a comedy. There are some demented writers left so this could end up one of the funnier stories! In any case, I’m going back to the discussion room to see if they ever came to a consensus.

Torch: Sniff. No mention until the end. Not even letting me do my one and only line! Are you still mad that I let a few pennies stand between a physical appearance on Requiem?

SL4: Of course not! Ta ta!

My:Okay, okay. I wanted badly to make SL4 proud and make the story more comedic but well, my mind wandered in a different direction. So, here goes......

Remmy’s pulse grew rapid as they got closer to Quinn’s house. “I feel sick,” he said. “I’m afraid of what else we’ll find here.”

“Somehow I can’t imagine it can be any worse than what we just left behind us,” replied Maggie.

“Diana,” replied Mallory. “I can’t believe she’s gone.”

Maggie couldn’t control her sudden fit of laughter. “I’m sorry,” she laughed. “I can’t help myself.

“You little slut!” screamed Mallory. “How can you sit here and laugh?”

Suddenly Remmy joined in on the laughter. “Oh my God,” he said. “We have to stop this.”

“Slut?” replied Maggie. “I didn’t see you complaining last night. How dare you call me a slut. You’re the one who thinks with his…”

“We’re here,” Remmy interrupted. “Come on, you two can discuss this later.”

The three Sliders walked up to the front door but before they could knock, the door flung open.

Before they could say anything the young man gestured for them to be silent. They followed him down to the basement and he shut the door behind them.

“What’s going on here?” asked Remmy.

Once again the young man gestured for them to be silent. He walked over to Remmy and using a scanning device he scanned Remmy’s body, finding a small microphone in his pocket. Remmy’s eyes widened but he remained silent. The young man did the same with Mallory and Maggie and when he was done he placed the microphones in a soundproof container.

“Okay, you can talked now,” said Quinn.

Remmy couldn’t help but stare at Quinn. He knew this wasn’t his Quinn but suddenly he was sober to the events that led up to this moment. “What’s going here?” asked Remmy. “What’s the matter with us?”

Quinn motioned for the three to have a seat. “Well, you got caught up in Real Radio.”

“Real Radio?” Remmy asked. “What the hell is Real Radio?”

“Well, let’s just say people on this world got tired of reality television shows like Survivor so they created ‘Real Radio’.

“Oh great,” said Maggie. “How exactly did we get the privilege?”

“Well, “ replied Quinn. “The thrill of it is to get unsuspecting people; transits and well sometimes they throw in some kind of professional, like the Professor. It makes for a more interesting story. You see everyone has followed you from the time you ingested the hallucinogens in the pizza. It’s unfortunate that you lost your friend though.”

“I don’t feel so good,” said Maggie. “Does this stuff wear off?”

“Well, not really,” replied Quinn. “Here, drink this and you it should counteract the effects. I’ve been working on the formula for awhile but you are the first that I’ve had the chance to test it on.”

“Why do you want to help us?” asked Mallory. “It’s almost like you knew we were coming.”

Quinn stared at Mallory. “Well, yeah, I heard everything you said remember?”

“Oh, yeah,” replied Mallory.

“That’s why we don’t have much time,” said Quinn. “I’m not the only one who knew you were coming here. I want to help the Professor. He’s a good friend and he’s the one who helped me develop the formula. That’s why he was targeted this time. You just got caught in the middle.”

“What happens if they find out we are no longer under the influence?” asked Remmy.

“Well, the Professor’s life depends on them not finding out,” replied Quinn. “It’s gong to take some acting on your part. We can’t keep silent for too long. They’ll get suspicious.”

“We’ll do whatever it takes,” replied Remmy.

Brit looked down at what My had written.

Brit: whew..no need for my little machine.

My: Oh, I know better than to do that. Hey, where did SL4 go?

SS: Oh, he said he he'd be back. Said he had a date with a pie.

NEXT?

"That is so cliche," TM retorted. The Torch promptly shot out some flames to singe TM's uh, pants seat. He then began to sit down and write...

***

"Sit down in my living room and act crazy," Quinn instructed the threesome. "I'll get you some refreshments." As Quinn left the room, the three remaining sliders sat down.

"I still can't believe Diana's gone," Remmy sighed.

"Oh, well," Maggie responded casually. "I'm sure we'll find some other slider who can fix our timer and then we'll take them with us, until they die or get melded with somebody else or get captured by Kromaggs."

"Amen to that," Mallory laughed.

"Anybody startin' to feel strange?" Remmy asked the others.

"I thought it was just me," Mallory choked out, suddenly unable to breathe.

"What's going on here?" Maggie asked to nobody in particular. She started to go towards the room she saw Quinn walk into, but fell onto the floor instead. All she could manage was a slow crawl. It was as though her energy was being sapped from her. She looked over and saw that Mallory was already unconscious...or worse.

"Remmy...can you..." she started, and then blacked out. Rembrandt fell into a quiet slumber only a moment behind her. Quinn emerged from the other room clothed in a brown uniform. "You were correct, Commandant Arturo," Quinn spoke into his own personal microphone. "They were easily fooled."

"Most sliders are, Mr. Mallory," Arturo chortled in reply. "Yourself and your companions being the exception of course."

As though Arturo had summoned them from their hiding places, the people who had accompanied Quinn Mallory to this world arrived in the room almost simultaneously. Similar to this Mallory creature they had captured, two of their own sliders, Maggie Beckett and Wade Welles had become amalgamated into a person they called Waggie Welkets. She was exceptionally bright and a good soldier, a perfect exemplar of the master race, Quinn thought approvingly. Also he had taken with him a fellow scientist named Conrad Bennish, Jr., a bit of a nerd with a flattop and a bad stutter. Logan St. Clair they had met along the way, although he still wasn't sure he entirely trusted her. They all wore the brown uniforms with green triangles on the shoulder that Quinn did, although he outranked them all.

"Do they want them over at the studio now, Herr Arturo?" Quinn asked.

"The black van is already outside, my boy. But you cannot be too careful with these traitors. They are more dangerous than they look." With that caveat in mind, the four sliders loaded the three 'undesirables' into the van and it took off.

"What now, boss?" Logan inquired.

Quinn watched the van disappear over the horizon. "Now...we make sure the trial goes off without a hitch."

***

As the three of them started to awake, they heard an odd noise. "Welkommen. You are listening to Real Radio. Where you can hear Real communists, Real homosexuals and Real race traitors get what they Real-ly deserve!!"

"If this is some kind of nightmare, I think I'd like to wake up now," Remmy breathed to the others. They were all chained to metallic chairs, unable to move much at all.

"I'm sorry, Remmy," Maggie said back to him. "This looks pretty convincingly like reality. A sick, twisted reality, but reality nonetheless."

The announcer's voice had a touch of evil as it spoke, "And now here's the host of Real Radio...Pat......."

***

"You're just going to leave me with that?!?!" Vigeant screamed.

"Yep," TM replied with a big grin on his face.

"Has everyone been eating CRACK pie?!?" SL4ever asked incredulously. "Or is there some rule I'm not aware of that everybody has to royally #$% up their portion of the story game??"

"Hey, I stayed true to most of the basic elements other people introduced. Besides, at least I didn't deviate as far as SpaceTime did."

The cave grumbled its acquiescence and allowed TM to leave it unfettered. There were some who thought he should meet the Promethean fate of ST, but they were overruled.

Thank goodness.

ThomasMalthus

Just keep in mind that I write this while I am half asleep and sick.

***

"Fahdooleyskin. Here on real radio we have all your conspiracies, your lemons, your real ultra sonic mega show, and now for our little bit. He's fat, he's British, he's a professor! Can he escape from a giant japanese monster? Let's find out." Maggie looked at Remmy. "What the--."

"Now you can watch Real Radio at www.rreallrrradio.com! And watch this live as I narrate."

Remmy broke out and reached into his pocket where he pulled out a huge computer with energy source and wireless modem. "Okay let's watch this.. but how did the Professor get there?"

On the monitor a small .realvideo popped up of the Professor being chased by a gigantic turtle.

---

Quinn, Waggie, and Logan walked down the street whistling. Suddenly they saw the Professor. "HELP ME!" "Why?" "Because the Qunldiafonic Flajnof is on the fritz!"

***

Recall317 yelled at Vig. "What? What the :-X is that? That doesn't even go along with the story!" "Well um just be glad you didn't see my first draft."

SL4ever and BritSlider grabbed Recall and hauled him over to the manuscript...

********

Rembrandt, Mallory and Maggie were still in Quinn's living room. The drugs hadn't worn off and they were having difficulty moving. Suddenly, they heard a scratch at the door.

"What's that?" asked Maggie.

"I dunno, sounds like some animal," said Mallory.

Barking was heard, followed by some whimpering. The next thing they knew, the kitchen window was busted open and a dog leaped in. He immediately ran up and licked Rembrandt.

"Henry? Is that you?" asked Rembrandt. It was none other than Henry the Sliding Wonder Dog, or at least his dimensional double.

"Henry, you have to go get help. Logan, Conrad and that strange woman could be back any minute. Can you get help, boy?"

Henry barked in the affirmative and immediately charged out of the house.

------------------

"Gamera is really neat! He is filled with turtle meat! Let's hear it for Gamera!"

The turtle took a bow.

"Excellent," said Arturo. "One constant about turtles. You can always play to their egos."

------------------

The door broke open at Quinn's house.

"Colin?!" cried Rembrandt, Maggie, and Mallory. Standing in the kitchen was Colin, accompanied by Henry.

"I've come to rescue the lot of you!" proclaimed Colin.

However, Colin was soon riddled with bullets. As he dropped, he muttered, "Ack, I'm not very good at this!"

Standing across the room were Logan, Waggie and Bennish, the smoke still rising from their guns. Colin had not made it back in time.

"This is a disturbing universe," said Henry the Sliding Wonder Dog.

******************

Recall fell out of his chair, his head spinning.

"I can't believe it!" yelled SouthernSlider. "Even in his delirious state he managed to kill off my sweet baboo!"

"Saves me the trouble," said CoolSlider.

"Recall! Speak to me!" said dellyone.

"Give my mustache...to...Trevor..." Recall replied.

"But you don't have a mustache." said delly.

"Come to think of it, I don't know anyone named Trevor." said Recall. "Ball's in your court, Joel. Waiter, check please!"

Recall passed out, and the Torch was handed to CoolSlider.

The two duke it out as the story continues...

*********************************************

Logan, Waggie and Bennish stared on at their captives.

"You know what I was thinking?" Logan asked her companions?

Waggie replied, "This is a prime time for HOT BONDAGE SEXENGS?"

Mallory laughed, "Apparently there's more Maggie than Wade in this one"

Maggie tried to kick Mallory but realized she was chained. However, she kept trying.

Before anyone realized what was going on, there were three thumps.

*THUMP*

*THUMP*

*THUMP*

Logan, Bennish and Waggie fell to the floor as our Sliders said in unison:

"MEL TORME'"

Mel smiled, "Yes it's me, your old friend Mel Torme'. How nice to see you again, Rembrandt and...Not-Quinn. And who's this lovely gutterslut?"

"Who cares?" Mallory replied "You just bludgeoned three people with a GUITAR. Can I be like you?"

Mel smiled again, "Only if you try real real hard"

"What a guy!" an exhasparated Mallory sighed.

"Now...how to get you out of this jam. Hrm..."

Just then, Diana came into the house "Guys, I know how we can get out of this jam! We just have to--"

All the Sliders and Mel Torme' looked at Diana. It was Mel who spoke.

"Shut up, you're dead."

"Yeah, but you came back to li--"

"You're DEAD."

Diana sighed. "Fine"

Diana died. Again.

*******************

THREE HOURS LATER

*******************

"Wow, Mel!" Remmy said "How you got us out of bondage was a brilliant plan!"

"Yeah," Maggie added "And I thought we were in for it when we had to cut through the woods where we were attacked by rabid spider monkeys. Thanks to you, we got out fine!"

Mallory spoke up "And let's not forget when the Kromaggs came and Mel found a weapon that destroyed their entire race"

Silence came over the four companions as they stood in the middle of Golden Gate Park. That silence was broken by Maggie who farted.

"Oh yeah...what's our main objective now?" Remmy asked.

"Um...I think we had to un-freeze the timer and show the world that Reality Media is morally wrong." Maggie replied.

"Okay, first things first," commanded Remmy, "Who's got the timer?"

The four sliders looked at each other blankly as rounds on "Not I" went around.

"I do"

The voice came from behind them. They turned around to see a shadowy figure with the timer held in his hand. In unison:

"*GASP* YOU!"

"Yes, me!" Said the shadowy figure. "Now you're coming with me."

Just then, Ryan walked in from behind the shadowy figure.

"Ryan!" Rembrandt shouted with glee. "How's the most overrated Sliders guest character ever? You've come to save us, right?"

"No. No, I've come here to wallow in self-pity. The woman I love doesn't feel the same about me. *CRY*"

**********************************************

MEANWHILE BACK AT QUINN'S HOUSE

***********************************************

Henry sat by himself and the bodies of Logan, Bennish and Waggie.

"This sucks. I'm sure there's a story game on the Lassie board I could be in"

Henry humped Waggie's leg and then left.

*************************************************

In the late hours of the night CS, sat by himself in the local pizzeria. Slice and can of Pepsi in front of him, slice and can of Pepsi in front of the empty chair in front of him.

ST walked in, sat down, and the two at their slices, not looking at each other and not saying a word. They then finished their sodas and threw the cans out in the garbage because recycling is retarded.

CS looked at ST "Look, man I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Me too."

"Hey, you wanna go the burn ward at the hospital to make us feel better about ourselves?"

ST laughed "Sure thing, buddy. Sure thing"

********************************************

Meanwhile, at the cave, the torch was passed on to HK.

Since CS was in town, he had mailed the Torch back to the cave where SL4ever picked it up and headed to wherever the hell HurriKain was.

"HK! Your turn in th--...good god, what happened?!"

HK was sitting in a corner shivering violently, shaking back and forth.

"Kari happened."

"Huh?" SL4ever looked at him puzzedly, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Kari. She's coming out with a....a....NEW CD!"

"NOOOOOO *GASP* OOOOOOOOOO"

****************************

Yeah, 'tis a messed up segment. But what would you expect from a CRACK addict?

CoolSlider

SL4: I must find ways to conceal the CRACK!

******

Mallory, Maggie, and Remmy (hey, that rhymes!) were led into the back of a large pick-up by Ryan while they heard a series of gunshots coming from inside the house.

"There..." The shadowy figure said as he pocketed his glock. "That takes care of the Torme problem... and I gave your scientist friend an extra slug just in case SHE comes back to life."

"Who? That :-#? BWAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhAHAHAHAHA!" Maggie laughed.

Remmy just looked at her shocked. "Now... I'm scared."

Ryan looked back at the figure. "What now, master?"

"M... M... Master?" Mallory stuttered. "No.. not this again. Please God no!"

The mysterious man ignored the slider and continued the conversation.

"We'll take them to my place... and we'll figure out what to do to them then."

Ryan said. "And then it's on to our games?"

"Yes." The person said as he grabbed his associate. "We will play."

Then, the two kissed.

***

dellyone/MissingSliderRyan: NO YOU >:-#ING DIDN'T!

HK: YES I >:-#IING DID! HAHAHAHA!

***

"Then lets go, my RavageKnight." Ryan said as he hopped in the truck.

***

SL4ever: Oh no! SOMEONE STOP HIM!!!!!

Brit hurriedly wrote "It was all a dream on a paper airplane and threw it toward the manuscript. But somehow, some wind got into the cave and knocked the plane off course.

***

"I don't know if I said it before, but if I did, I'll say it again." Remmy said.

"This is one >:-#ed up world." They all said in unision.

"We need to get out of this. If these games their talking about refer to what I'm thinking now... and so Help me God... I don't want to be included." Mallory declared.

"Weeeeeee!!!!!"

The three sliders look out into the city skyline and saw Arturo riding the spinning giant turtle.

"Faster! Faster! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

****

HK stood up, put the pen down, and transformed.

IHK: AH... All done... I need to lay down now... Kari promised to take me to some flower fields...

Then IHK stumbled to the lounge area.

ThomasMalthus: Now, that is the first time I've seen an intoxicated ogre.

d1: sniff... RYAN, NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

SL4 <staring at BritSlider>: A paper airplane?!?!?!?!

Brit: It was all I could think of is such short notice. Who's Next?

Tigs <checking Roll sheet>: SweetOne. <picks up a glass filled with "sparkling" Pina Colada>

YOO-HOO... Sweetie...

With that SweetOne headed toward the writing desk, sat down and began to write.

*********

At Arturo's request the giant spinning turtle began spinning faster, faster, higher and higher. "Weeeeee" he yelled until the pit of his stomach began to lurch. Feeling suddenly sick, Arturo began to beg, "stop, I wanna get off. STOP! STOP! You blistering idiot, I said STOP!"

The ride attendant obliged with glee, slammed on the brakes causing the turtle to stop most violently. Arturo leaned over the side of the turtle and hurled. "You imbecile!" "You said STOP, so I did. Problem?" he asked with a maniacal laugh.

*******

Ryan and his Master, the shadowy man, led the surviving sliders at gunpoint through the house of horrors. When they reached the fun house mirrors each was placed in front of a mirror. The mirror not only showed strange shapes of the sliders, but also revealed their darkest nightmares.

Mallory's mirror showed a reflection of Quinn trying to hold on to Wade as she was dragged away by Kromaggs. Remmy's mirror showed a reflection of him being engulfed by an angry sea. Maggie's mirror showed her sitting in a field (obviously high on CRACK) surrounded by flowers.

*******

SL4ever: I thought she said "their darkest nightmare"?
SweetOne: It is her darkest nightmare. There isn't a man in sight.
Torch: Get back to work!

********

The shadow man laughed a sinister laugh. "Let the games begin," he said as he and Ryan led them out of the house of horrors.

********

SweetOne placed the pen on the desk: Done. I better get back to work, I'm supposed to be working on some contracts. I don't want the boss to catc.... SweetOne slumped over

DMD scooped SweetOne up and carried her to the couch: There ya go sugar. You can sleep it off now.
Tigs: guess she never had fairy dust before.

********

Sarah, I believe you're next.

SS shakes her head and rereads the story for the umpteenth million and oneth time. Her hand shakes as she picks up the pen to write her first words.

--------------------------------

Maggie was the first to come to consciousness. She looked around to see Mallory, Diana, and Remmy lying on tables next to her. The room was stark white except for the shiny stainless steel slabs they all lay on.

Maggie: What the heck is going on around here?

She raised up, head pounding furiously. Waiting for a few seconds for the pain to ease, she slid off the slab and headed for Remmy.

Maggie: Remmy! Wake up! Remmy!

He slowly came around, then stared at her wildly.

Remmy: What the heck is going on around here?

Maggie frowned. Was it a coincidence that he said the same thing she had said upon awakening?

Maggie: I don't know, but let's get Mallory and Diana and get out of here.

Remmy: Diana? But I thought she was dead!

Maggie: Come to think of it, I thought so too.

They both ran to her body laid out on the slab. Remmy took his finger and gently poked her arm to see if there would be any response.

Remmy: She's not cold and hard like most dead people.

Maggie: Just how many dead people do you go around touching?

Diana chose that moment to pop her eyes open and sit up. Maggie and Remmy jumped three feet off the ground.

Diana: What the heck is going on around here?

Maggie and Remmy looked at each other with a frown.

Remmy: Diana? Is that really you?

Diana: Of course, it's really me. Who did you expect, Professor Arturo?

Prof. Aturo: You rang? I am so glad you finally came out of it.

Remmy: Came out of it? What do you mean? And who are you?

Prof. Aturo: Mr. Brown! I'm wounded. Surely your brain is not so addled as to forget your old sliding companion.

Remmy: But . . . but . . . you died!

Prof. Arturo: No, no, Mr. Brown. Not me, my double. Remember?

Remmy: No.

Prof. Arturo: Hmmmmm. I thought surely the hypnosis and having you relive every moment of your sliding adventures from the time you left me would work.

Remmy: I haven't been reliving my sliding adventures. I've been having a nightmare. You were riding a turtle. And Ryan . . .

Prof. Aturo: Ryan?

Remmy: Yeah, a little-known and all-but-forgotten slider. He was, well . . . he was kissing . . . someone.

Remmy looked at Maggie and she agreed with him. She was remembering everything Remmy talked about.

Maggie: If we were asleep, how could we all have the same dream.

Prof. Arturo: Oh, you weren't asleep, my dear. That's against the rules. You were in a hypnotic state . . . uh, with a little help from my friend.

They all heard a groan and turned to see Mallory sitting up holding his head.

Mallory: What the heck is going on around here?

They all sighed and shook their heads.

All: Just lay back down and don't worry about it, Mallory.

He did as they suggested, his head hitting the cold steel with a thump.

Remmy: Professor, what do you mean, 'with a little help from your friend'?

Prof. Arturo smiled slyly and turned toward the door. Before saying a word, he flipped a switch next to the door.

Prof. Arturo: No one you need to worry about, my friends. I suggest you get back on the slab before you hit the floor.

With that he closed the door, and smoke started coming from the vents at the top of the wall.

Maggie, Remmy and Diana began to sway, seeing turtles and strange beings. Ryan's face came into view, with a stranger behind him, arms around Ryan. His face was blurred.

Remmy: I suggest we do as the professor said. I'm not feeling too good.

He climbed on the slab just in time . . . just before the room went black. Maggie and Diana did the same.

Mallory opened his eyes and smiled, rising up and heading toward the door.

-------------------------------------

SS heaved a deep sigh.

SS: Now to get the heck out of here before the others wake up. They probably aren't going to like this. But hey! I didn't make it a dream sequence. It's a hypnotic sequence, and I left the door open. They can go back to their craziness very easily. Besides I've got more important things on my mind. HK is close to doing another skit about my sweet baboo in "Enter the Duck". I've got to get him back to that room and into more torture. Brit and DMD aren't going to foil me again.

With that she tiptoed off, hoping to be far away in the darkest regions of the cave by the time everybody arose from their slumber.

A note lay atop her manuscript.

"Go for it, DMD. Woof, woof, woof, woof."

Torch: GET ON WITH IT!

*-*-*

*-*-*

It was The Man .

The blinding yellow of their four suits along with the suits' innate ability to reflect the sun back into a watchers eyes guaranteed the wearer wouldn't be stopped and questioned. The airtight suits made them look like Bananas without Pajamas. Holding a large box that clicked like a rad-o-meter, measuring some kind of particle in the air… only …only ….they didn't understand.

The only sounds that settled on the air was the rhythymic breathing coming from the air cleansers of the suits, and the random, rapid clicking of the handheld meters. As if in slow motion, the researcher that had a big Beta insignia on his back raised his hand to try and stop the steps of his companion but it was too late. The man in front had an Alpha and was running his spectrometer wand over to his left side and didn't see the jutting glass of a broken window in the shadows to his right. The air split with a roar of released gas as the suit at the man's shoulder tore open.

The yellow banana man gasped out, vainly trying to cover the torn plastic with a gloved hand. The other yellow clad men hurried to the first as he fell to his knees, clutching his head. As they neared him, the man slump forward on his faceplate and lay motionless. The three standing men exchanged worried expressions, till the one with the Delta nodded to the prone individual. Beta slowly bent down, his hand extending out to touch the identification symbol on Alpha's back.

With a blood curdly roar, the comatosed man sprung to his feet! He went berserk, swinging his rad-o-meter in a wide, heavy arc. The audible whoosh of the machine through the still air was only interrupted by the sound of the sickening thud that was created from the impact of lead and metal against plastic and skull. Beta crumpled in an instant as Delta and the fourth man stammered backward. The insane man brought the machine to bear over and over again on Beta's body. He pounded until he had satisfied some strange urge, then, he ripped off the dead man's hood, and danced around in a grotesque lord of the dance fashion..

The fourth man regained his composure, drew a pistol from a holster marked MP at his side, and gunned the Riverdance dropout with three precision shots to the chest. The incident was over as fast as it began.

*-*-*

Utterly utterly baloney Quinn said as he unlocked the door for the Sliders. You know … Mallory, right? ….you know Mal… I'm cuter than you are. And I have better hair.

Mallory spun on his heels and glared at his double. Quinn, startled by the sudden ferocity, took a step back, but it wasn't the movement that drained his face of color. Mallory's eyes and face had taken on a eerie countenance and the air flashed tangible with a psychotic taint. Mallory pounced on Quinn as he barked incoherently, spittle foaming at his mouth. Quinn was knocked to the floor as Mallory landed hard on top of him, his fists starting to fly up and down, landing hard thuds on Quinn's chest and body.

At the front of the group, an oblivious Dianna rolled her eyes, Would you just stop fighting, I'm getting tired of...?! She spun around to finish chastising the doubles.

Quinn had gotten his hands up to block his face. With a shove upward, he struck Mallory in the jaw with both fists, sending the mad man backward on off to the side.

Quinn only had one short answer for Diana, as he rose, eyes intensely locked on his double, breathing hard and wiping a stream of blood from his lip. Shut up clone

What?! I'm not a clone!

Then why are you /Diana3/ then? He barely finished the words out of his mouth as Mallory sprung again like a feral cat.

Watch out girl! Remmy yelled, pulling Maggie back out of harms way.

Quinn was ready this time and lashed out with a kick that caught Mallory between the legs. Enough to cripple a sane man, only adequate enough to stop the charge of an insane one. Mallory rolled with the kick and pressed his back to the far wall, grasping his crotch, his breath heaving rapidly as the foamed dripped from the corner of his twisted mouth.

Quinn shot an angry finger at Diana, It is tattooed on the back of your neck. And you'll be the next homicidal maniac.

Mallory pushed off the wall and sprung again. Quinn turned back to his double and prepared to recoil against the onslaught but this time Remmy interceded and stepped in the path of the wild man. One big dark fist caught Mallory square in the face and sent him backward to crumple on the floor unconscious. Quinn quickly hurried over to Mally and grabbed him at the scruff of her neck. He turned it over and pointe out to the others, Yep, it says /Mallory 4/ on this one. Cloned.

Remmy rubbed his fist with his other hand, Clones? How? What? When? Why?….

Quinn dropped Mallory's head to the floor again with a thud and hurried over to Remmy and Maggie, Let me see your necks.

Maggie glared angrily as Quinn none too gently pulled her hair up then turned and pulled down on Remmy's collar.

No tattoos.

So what does that mean? Maggie growled as she smoothed her hair back and straightened her shirt with a harsh tug.

It means your other gal and guy are dead. This lady will turn on you without warning like psycho-boy over here, and I wouldn't be surprised to see another edition of Mallory. Taking a deep breath, and fighting off something in his head, he continued. Each successive clone loses even more of its humanity. However, in just the last day or so…. Something has made it even more pronounced. A few people even have hallucinations, remembering full lives that didn't exist….

What about the clones' memories? How could they pass as… our friends?

Memory implants, that's where the humanity is lost, Speaking slowly as if to a child. What I need to find out is what's wrong. Your sliding group just arrived within the last day or so, right? It might be a coincidence… but it might not….

Quinn held open the doorway for the sliders as they exited the room. He watched them turn the corner, then glanced back into the room. With one quick motion he swept up a long scalpel from the nearby table and threw the blade into Mallory's brain. He flashed a satisfied smirk, then caught up with the others.

*-*-*

What did you discover Doctor? A man in military fatigues with a star on his collar stood in impatience beside a marble slab with a dead man on it. He was queasy… it was an autopsy after all.

I found abnormalities in the blood stream, a strand that connects the base of the spinal column to the brain stem, a bulbous growth in the…AaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHH The doctor screamed like a girl, wetting himself, as the dead man jumped up off the table.

Sorry Cat, Gotta scram… Places to visit and all… shooby doo wop the Deadman called out as he left the room, leaving behind two grown men cowering in the corners in puddles of their own urine.

*-*-*

Mel Torme' revived in front of witnesses. Credible witnesses. If we have another incident, it'll be your tentacle on the chopping block. The Shadowy Man came into the light… his alienish blue skin tone looking out of place in the modern office background. Please tell me you got the slash Mel 4 slash written on the back of his neck.

Yes Sur, when he died sur. Came back the strangled reply.

The symbiant will not be pleased.

I'm sorry sur, I'll clean up the mess.

We could use two more baby hosts.

Yes Sur.

*-*-*

Do you know where our timer is? Remmy asked Quinn, glancing warily at Diana. They were sitting down at the hotel restaurant, regrouping.

I got it. Well, I could get it. Actually, I know someone who knows where it is. Quinn took out a vial and replaced the empty vial in the med-bracelet he wore as he spoke absentmindedly. Man, I almost ran completely out my meds

Oh Ma-aa-aa-aan! Remmy drew out that last word as he shook his head with a worried frown. After several minutes of muttering to himself, he fairly shouted, Qball, What's wrong with you! You one of those freaks from that everyone's-a-druggie world?

What's wrong with me? Quinn was puzzled a second, then raised his own voice, What's wrong with me?! What's wrong with YOU!

Leave it Remmy. Quinn, where is the timer? Maggie nervously watched Diana start fidgeting in her seat. As the waitress set their plates down, Maggie confiscated the knife on Diana's plate. I'll keep this.

After an angry staredown, Quinn excused himself to make a phone call.

Man, we are in deep girl. Remmy stated glumly.

I don't like him. Diana frowned, pointing across the room.

Remmy and Maggie's eyes followed Diana's finger… to Arturo. Their mouths fell open as the rotund man made his way to their table, and sat down.

I have a present for you. Arturo laid the timer on the table. The Living Crystal fascinates me, and I am looking forward to many years of sliding with it - and you, my friends - to study it.

How? Remmy was speechless. Wha? Why?

I am Transmodiar, God of Sliding. And…Why not?

I don't like you.

Course not my good woman, I already killed you once… and you will stay dead next time. With that, the professor bid them good day and left.

Quinn sat down a few minutes later. Good news guys. I know who has the timer!

Oh really?

*-*-*

*-*-*

Yeontoo sat the quill down, with a satisfied exhale escaping her mouth. SE straightened, stretching his cramped muscles.

“SE was only suppose to give ideas… not actually do some of your writing!” MSR gently chided Y. “You know, he’s not half bad.”

“He ain’t bad at all.” Y grinned, winking.

SE blushed a pretty shade of red.

“He said ‘Posh Trendy Furniture’ NOT POST TRENDY FURNITURE! That just looks worn out.” Mychand shook her head at the ugly old couch that CS and HK was bringing in. “Who ordered that?”

“I think Jenn did” HK huffed.

“NOT me! Wasn’t it Tigs?” Jenn called over, so glad she didn’t order that garbage.

“Nope. It was TM, wasn’t it?” Tigs said as she carried in an ugly footstool.

“Uh, no, not me either,” TM grunted, carrying the major weight of a big chair, with a little help from Viggy. “Try Recall or SL4ever.”

“Recall’s out, but I didn’t order that.. I liked what was here!” SL4 rolled his eyes, making his way to the script.

Sweetone and DMD came out of the back. “We didn’t find Y, should we ski.. nevermind” DMD blushed, matching SE.

“Its your turn DMD” MSR nodded to the table.

Torch: GET ON WITH IT

DMD: Did I say headache? I must've misspoken. I meant to say I'm aching to write my segment. Here goes nothing....

--------------

Quinn: "Yes, I know who has your timer. Didn't I just say that?"

Remmy: "Yeah, Q-Ball. I guess you did."

Maggie: "Well that's interesting, because while you were on the phone, the Professor..."

Diana: "Transmodiar..." <facial twitch>

Maggie: "Whatever. Transmodiar came by and waved our timer in our faces."

Diana: "Yeah, what about that, brain boy?" <eats fly>

Quinn: "That's probably what he WANTS you to think. It's probably a duplicate timer. Just a remote control with some flashing lights and a time circuit. I trust my source."

Maggie: "So where is it?"

Quinn: "There's a research lab that opened around the time all the clones started popping up. It's probably the source of all this wierdness, and it's definitely where your timer's being kept. It's called Geiger Applied Research.

Remmy and Maggie: :-|

Diana: <picks nose>

--------

Transmodiar walked down the street with a spring in his step, entering Geiger Applied Research. "The Leader will love this. Those Sliders will come searching for their timer in no time."

The professor's thumb print granted him access to the Combine lab. Along the wall, one of the Mallory clones sat, awaiting instruction. Arturo walked up to the clone and checked it's neck carefully. '/Mallory 6/' was clearly visible.

Arturo gave instructions to the clone while shining a varying purple light into it's eyes.

Transmodiar: ".... Now, Mr. Mallory, get to it."

As Mallory stood and started for the lab exit, Arturo turned his attention to the controls of the Combine. When mallory was almost to the door, he spun, grabbed an oscilloscope, and smashed it over Arturo's head. He then grabbed the timer and calmly exited the lab and the building. Once outside, he pulled a rag from his pocket and used it to wipe the '/Mallory 6/' from the back of his neck.

-----------

MSR: You're leaving it at that? You were supposed to get them into a car for my segment.

DMD: Sorry. Yeontoo's part made me change my mind.

SO: And besides, we've got a date to go exploring.

SweetOne stood and headed for the dark recesses of the cave.

DMD: Shouldn't we bring a light?

SweetOne gave DMD's tush a squeeze as she brushed past.

SO: What for? I like the dark. Besides, I can always find where I'm going with my hands.

DMD: I'm right behind you.

Finally, MSR wrote...

~*~*~*~*~*~

At the Presidio…

"Sir, I have the analysis report for both," said the XO at the door.

The CO looked up from his papers. "Well, what are the findings?"

"It's worse than we originally thought. The lab on Alcatraz contained high amounts of the influenza virus."

"The flu *did* this!? This insanity?"

"Well, sir, it's a genetically engineered influenza virus that no one has seen before. It emits gamma radiation to break down the cell structures and allows easy entry of… uh… how shall I say it?"

"Spit it out! We don’t have much time."

"The virus contains genetic material not found on this world," he replied uncomfortably.

"You mean alien DNA."

"Yes, sir. We have yet to determine its role. We also found high amounts of this virus in the body that the autopsy… uh… I really don't know what else to call it… was performed on. "

The CO shrugged. "So what are the chances that the nearby population has been affected?"

"That's the strange thing about all of this. When that lab was destroyed, it released the virus into the fog as it rolled in, carrying it southward to Daly City and South San Francisco and eastward into Oakland and Berkeley and northward across the Azure Bridge into Sausalito and neighboring cities. But this is the only case where someone who's obviously dead comes back to life."

The CO was impatiently waiting for an answer. "And?"

The man had no more answers to give.

At the Transamerica Pyramid building…

The Leader's sensitive antennae atop his snow-white hair detected the familiar footfalls approaching his door. A smile grew on his blue toned face as he heard them outside the door.

"Come in Ryan. What's the update?"

Ryan took a seat in front of his desk and placed his clipboard on his lap.

"Our agent is doing his duty as we planned. Soon we will have two new hosts."

"Very good. What does the military know?"

"Only what we want them to know. We had removed the clone's tattoo before they took him away."

"Excellent. They don't suspect we are using sliders as our incubators."

"We owe it all to Professor Arturo or Transmodiar, God of Sliding, as he calls himself. Turning the Azure Bridge into a what did he call it… slidecage. Interesting that our technology is compatible with theirs."

The Leader pulled out the Egyptian timer from the right hand desk drawer, leaving it still open. "Fascinating how this little crystal allows for sliding."

"Yes, it is. Too bad it can't synchronize correctly to allow a vortex to form."

Both of them laugh.

"In all my years living as both male and female. I've considered myself female," Ryan cooed.

The Andorian had a belly laugh. "Yes, my dear, Leeloo, so have I. It's unfortunate that this was the only body available. I miss your speckled brown markings that start at your face, go down your neck and…" A lascivious smile and roving eyes moved downward.

"You have, my RavageKnight?" Ryan lifted the Leader's chin up to grab his attention and clasped the Leader's left hand with his cold hands.

"First things first, dear," he said lovingly as his right hand reached into the open drawer.

He pulled Ryan closer as if to kiss him then jabbed an air-filled syringe into Ryan's left jugular vein, pumping air into his bloodstream.

"Why?" he cried in his futile attempt to free himself from the Leader tenacious grasp.

The Andorian watched placidly as Ryan spasmed, rolled his eyes back then thudded onto the desk.

Pressing his intercom button, he ordered, "Kodus and Kang bring me the stasis chamber. Prepare another forgotten slider… Michele… for implantation. I certainly won't be missing slider Ryan. Get your tentacles off that window. Those suction cups of yours can't hold your weight and I'm tired of replacing that window. Stop it you, Garfield stick to the window wannabes!"

After pulling the lifeless body onto the table and turning Ryan onto his back, the Leader drew a bloodstained butcher knife from the open drawer. He went to the other side of the desk.

"I'm going to gut you, boy," he murmured, plunging the knife below the ribcage and cutting swiftly downward, ignoring the fountain of blood gushing from the wound.

Within a minute, he found his treasure and extracted it carefully. Lovingly caressing the pulsating two-foot long slug-like creature, he cooed, "Leeloo, my love. 92 hours, 59 minutes and 45 seconds. Another 15 seconds and you could not be separated from your host without dying."

The Andorian's head flew through the air and landed on the couch. His treasure dropped back into its bloody sea before his body slammed on top of it. The Andorian's blood mixed in with that of human blood, pooling underneath the desk.

"Isn't that trilling," Transmodiar chortled, his eyes gleaming with madness, a bloody broadsword in his hand. "Who would have thought those two would last?" He rubbed his bandaged head.

Turning to the door, he ordered, "Bring them." The blood dripped down his arm and he took another taste of it. "Hmmm… salty."

A diminutive man dropped the tentacle remains of Kodus and Kang onto the Andorian. Turning around, Transmodiar ripped the two battleaxes that were strapped onto the man's back.

The man announced, "Chairman Kaga reveals the secret ingredients. The theme today is Trill, Andorian, human and alien tentacles. Whose cuisine will reign supreme? Watch as Transmodiar prepares original dishes for your tasting pleasure. Do you want buttocks slapping now or afterwards?"

Transmodiar replied, "Later, Rufferto. Ready the chopper so we can catch that ship. Now stand back while I prepare the first course." The man little man stepped back and let him hack away.

At the hotel restaurant…

Maggie was perplexed just like the writers of this story. "Remmy, why did you say "This is LA, you might see that in any world's LA"? You know we're in San Francisco and we went to Quinn's house."

"Dunno, Maggie. SL4 made a mistake when he wrote that part."

"Moron," added Diana, the patented blank stare showing its face.

A bewildered man and woman stopped at their table.

The man asked in a clipped Russian accent, "We are looking for nuclear wessels. Do you know where they keep the nuclear wessels?"

"We heard they were in Alameda," added the tired woman.

"Yep, Alameda," Quinn answered without skipping a beat. "But I'm afraid you're a few years late. That Navy base is already closed. I have no idea where they are now. Maybe San Diego. Try the Blue Pages."

The hapless duo left the table, their hopes dashed.

A waiter handed Remmy the check. After he turned it over, his jaw dropped.

"What?" asked Quinn and Maggie.

Remmy mumbled, "Uh, I didn't expect it to be this high for food and drinks.

"Let me," insisted Quinn as he made a grab for the check.

"No thanks, Maggie's got the cash." Remmy grabbed Maggie's arm. "Maggie, let's go pay this check."

Maggie read his face and nodded. "I've got it. We’ll be back in a few minutes. Quinn watch Diana."

"Sure thing. We'll be right here," replied Quinn as he watched the two make their way around the crowded tables.

Diana opened her mouth, but said nothing.

Once out of the line of sight and hearing, Remmy breathed a sigh of relief.

"What was that back there? What's on the check?" Maggie asked, grabbing it from Remmy.

"It's from Fogboy."

"What?!?" Maggie scanned the check. "This is his handwriting. How do we know it's true and this isn't a trap?"

"I wish Wade were here. We're finally back in San Francisco." Remmy's eyes had a distant look, just like before.

"Remmy, come back. We need a plan," begged Maggie as she shook him gently trying to break his reverie.

Remmy blinked his eyes and announced in an unwavering voice, "We ditch Quinn and Diana and hook up with Mallory outside."

Maggie crept behind the stone pillar to check on Quinn and Diana. "How do you know?" They were still sitting there.

"A little voice told me. Now let's get out of here."

"I hope you're right."

"So do I." Remmy escorted Maggie to the front door.

Quinn began to ramble to Diana. "The Leader will be pleased once we start those two on their meds, they will make the perfect host incubators instead of the clones."

"Don't press your luck, Qball," Diana replied before her blank stare returned as she looked around the room.

Quinn fiddled with his watch. "I can't perfect the formula without human test subjects. I have a deadline or else I too will become a host then discarded. This is my last chance."

"Zip it! Shut up!"

Quinn looked up from his watch. "What?"

"They're getting away!" She pointed to the double doors as Remmy and Maggie ducked through them.

Maggie and Remmy turned and saw Diana and Quinn throwing people aside in their attempt to catch them.

"Run!" Remmy pushed Maggie in front of him through the front entrance.

Both ran outside, frantically searching the street for any sign of Mallory.

"Where is he?" cried Maggie as she turned to Remmy.

"Damn, where's that kid?" mumbled Remmy as he looked at his watch.

Their attention snapped to the left as a runaway taxicab nearly ran them over. Skidding to a stop, the back passenger and driver's side doors flew open.

"Remmy drive! I don't know San Fran!" ordered Mallory as he scooted over to the passenger side.

Remmy slid across the top of the hood as Maggie dove into the backseat, slamming headfirst into the opposite door.

"Pedal to the metal!" called Mallory putting his hand out the window and shoving the back door close.

"Hang on! Belt up. We're gonna fly." Remmy punched it into second gear and stamped on the accelerator, propelling the cab up the steep incline.

Quinn and Diana exited the hotel a few seconds too late and began running uphill. Mallory and Maggie turned back to watch them as Remmy watched the rearview mirror. Mallory pulled out a small device from his pocket and pointed it toward the running duo.

"Pop goes the weasel!" Mallory quipped as he pressed a button.

Quinn and Diana's heads rocketed off their necks, bloody geysers bathing everything around them. Their bodies dropped to the ground in midstride.

"What the hell?!?" gasped Remmy as he hit the break.

"Oh my God! Did you see that?" Maggie watched as the heads rolled down the street, leaving distressed onlookers.

Mallory shook Remmy to get his attention. "No time. We gotta catch a ship. Pier 35! Go Remmy! Go!"

Maggie reached forward and yanked down the back of Mallory's collar. "No tattoo!"

"I'm not a clone. We’ve got two hours to get to the ship or we'll never slide off this world." Mallory pocketed the device.

Remmy shifted to drive and stomped on the accelerator once more, lurching the passengers backward. He crossed the double yellow line into oncoming traffic.

"Remmy!" Maggie closed her eyes as the cab spun 180°, barely missing the cablecar bearing down on them.

Remmy proclaimed, "Where we're going we don't need roads."

Crushing the accelerator again, he drove downhill with reckless abandon switching lanes as he gained speed. The trio never looked back as they passed the shocked onlookers near the remains of Quinn and Diana

As they neared the intersection, Maggie noticed that there was nothing but sky after it. "Rem…" was all she got out as the car went airborne and dropped more than twenty feet in less than a second. Remmy braced for impact, holding the wheel perfectly still. Metal grinded into the asphalt, little sparks shooting everywhere.

"WhooHooo!" Mallory blurted out loud, raising his fists above him.

"Good thing I didn't eat earlier, I would have lost my lunch." Maggie closed her eyes to relieve some of the queasy feeling in her stomach.

Twenty minutes and four flights into the air later, they were in stuck in bumper to bumper freeway traffic going to the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge.

"Remmy, is this the fastest way to Pier 35?" Maggie watched as two men were spray painting each other in the flatbed of the truck two lanes away.

Remmy was tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel. "Girl, it was this way or we get there after the boat leaves if we went through the financial district. Driving through this kind of traffic is not something I missed."

Mallory checked his watch. "What I'm about to tell you is going to sound unbelievable, but it's all true."

"Fogboy, everything that we've been through on this world is enough to drive any sane person mad." Remmy turned to him and smiled.

Maggie chuckled. "Yeah, Mall, you're going to say there are aliens. Been there done that."

"Not these kind of aliens," Mallory replied, deadpan.

Both Maggie and Remmy dropped their amused facades when they heard Mallory's tone -- he sounded just like Qball.

"There's so much to tell you both." Sighing and staring straight ahead, he began his tale. "Diana's dead… killed before our eyes. The Professor, Transmodiar, is also a slider. He slid to this world about three months ago along with three others-- Quinn, Ryan and a woman named Debra. This world we're on is poised on the brink of alien colonization."

"Mallory, you on drugs?" asked an unbelieving Maggie. "Sounds just like that show on FOX."

"Man, oh man."

Mallory turned to them. "I'm serious. There was a war between a blue-skinned race with antennas called the Andorians and the Trill. Some of the humanoid Trill are joined with a slug-like symbiote. Once joined together for 93 hours, any separation between the two spells death for both . During the war, the homeworld of Trill was devastated by a biological weapon that killed most of the humanoid hosts. Now deprived of slave labor, the Andorians sent the Leader or the Shadowy Man and Leeloo, a Trill representative and his lover, to find suitable hosts. They landed on this world and saw the population was ripe for the taking. They ran into a roadblock when it was discovered that the radiation on this world made the population unsuitable as incubators and new hosts for the Trill. Shortly afterwards, the Professor or Transmodiar, God of Sliding, along with Ryan, Gary Coleman or Rufferto as Transmodiar calls him and Michele slid to this world. The Leader captured the Professor and Michele, but the others had gotten away. The Leader ordered Michele to be implanted with a symbiote… Leeloo volunteered and they survived. Meanwhile the Professor was forced into telling the Leader all about sliding. The Andorians used this knowledge to turn the Azure Bridge into their version of a slidecage. Only those not from this world were capable of being viable incubators and hosts. Transmodiar's sliding knowledge was wiped clean and he became the first test subject of a genetically engineered virus which unfortunately causes insanity. The Leader destroyed his timer. Now he has our timer. The timer I took off him is a fake. No scarab symbol or crystal. He has to have the real one."

"We never got a good look at the timer he showed us earlier" Maggie added.

Remmy was starting to understand. "So they've been using sliders for their cloning experiments too. Why wait for another group to slide in when you can clone new ones. Jeez, destroy one world to save your own slaves."

"You're right, Remmy. Months later, "Pop goes the Weasel" Quinn, Arturo, Bennish, Waggie and Logan slid here. This Quinn was a biochemist and was forced to work in the secret lab on Alcatraz island. In order to keep Arturo alive, the others went along with the Leader's plan of capturing new sliders using Real Radio. Too bad their Arturo was killed and Transmodiar took his place without their knowledge. This Quinn was genius in the area of biochemistry on his world so he was forced to work in the secret lab on Alcatraz to work on the virus and develop a drug that would enable this world's population to become Trill incubators. He also developed a formula to delay the effects of the virus. That's what he has in his med-bracelet."

"Mall, who told you all this?" asked Remmy as they passed by the police station on their right side.

"I'm getting to that, Remmy. Leeloo blew that lab up, but the virus spread when the fog rolled in. She also sabotaged the cloning lab at Geiger Applied labs. That's why we haven't seen any clones under the number 3. She doesn't believe sacrificing another race for hers. After the lab was destroyed, Quinn was given one more chance and we were it. After we ate the pizza, DNA samples were taken and clones made."

"So all we have to do is find Michele? Leeloo is in her, right?" asked Maggie as she stared at the .

"No, Michele was dying so they she was implanted into another slider they had captured a day before we got here… Ryan."

Remmy took the Embarcadero exit. "That explains that revolting public display of affection."

"After the house of mirrors, Leeloo got me out of there and switched in a clone. Leeloo told Quinn that I was killed in an escape attempt. Leeloo wrote /Mallory 6/ on my neck, gave me that device then left to get our timer. She never came back so I have to assume Transmodiar found out about her plan and has the timer. I knocked him out when he came to the lab and grabbed this fake. All he has to do is blow the Azure Bridge and slide out of here."

"Leaving us in this hellhole." Maggie didn't think it would get worse. "So how much time left before we slide? Any idea, Mallory?"

He checked his watch. "Four hours."

"Why do we always cut these things close?" complained Maggie as she saw a large group of people.

In Remmy's and Mallory's mind they heard the same thing. *o/`She's a hooooo… she's a hoooo…. Oh me so horny… oh me so horny… she bangs… she bangs o/`" They snickered together, ignoring Maggie's question.

"Wade!" Mallory and Remmy chuckled.

"Wade? Where's Wade?" asked a surprised Maggie.

"You didn't hear her in your mind? We did." Remmy said before getting out.

"No, I didn't. What did she say?"

Remmy and Mallory glanced at each other before Mallory answered. "She said 'There can only be one!' She saw what happened back there." Remmy nodded in agreement.

*So why can't I hear her?* Maggie thought as the trio walked the stairs leading to the ship.

"Tickets, please," ordered the man in a uniform that was two sizes to short. He took the tickets, scanned them then handed them back to the passenger.

"Uh, we don't have tickets, guys. What's the plan?" asked Remmy when they were about to reach the ticket taker.

"Let me." Maggie pushed the guys out of the way and made her way to the man.

"Silicon-filled bitch," echoed in the minds of Remmy and Mallory.

"Wade, girl. You don't know that," Remmy chided.

"I bet Mallory knows," Wade retorted, making Mallory blush.

"Tickets, please, ma'am," he said as he took in her lovely sight.

Maggie whispered in his ear then pursed her lips and blew him a kiss.

The ticket man coughed, waving them onboard. "You three go ahead. I hope the captain enjoys your show."

Remmy and Mallory smiled as Maggie led them away from prying ears. The ticket man was enjoying the view.

"What did you say?" asked Remmy as he looked at his watch.

Maggie pulled them in close. "I said that I was the stripper for the captain's party. Remmy's the singer and Navy cook. And you Mall, you're the guy in charge of pushing out the cake."

"Thanks, Maggie. That's it? Man."

Remmy looked around. "We've got three and a half hours before the slide. Anyone got a plan?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Jenn was perplexed with
Many pages to read
"What the hell is this?"

A smirking MSR replied,
"Trying to pull everything together
and putting a twist on it."

The writers were clamoring
"Why the hell are we talking like this?"
"The timer doesn't work like that!"
"I'm confused!"
"How much CRACK did you have?"
"Fairy dust, anyone?"
"Shit, you killed a lot of characters!"
"How are we going to follow this?"
"You're nuts!"

Tigs just laughed,
"She's not nuts, she's crazy!"

MSR winked and replied
"No Crack or fairy dust
was used for this.
This is what happens when
I'm deprived of Highlander!
As for this form of skit,
well, it's different."

Torch proclaimed once again
"Get on with it!"

MSR

Torch in Voice of Wade: Ok Ok OK .. i'm back! Chill out!

~~~~~~~~~

Maggie and Mallory looked at each other as they walked on the boat. Suddenly Maggie sat up. It was all a dream.

~~~~~~~~~

The DSE sprang into action. It burn the story segment just as Jenn took her hands off.

Jenn: Ok Ok OK .. No more dreams..

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maggie and Mallory looked at each other. Maggie saw something in his eyes that she hadn't seen since S4. It was that Mallory glance that only HER Quinn had. She had never seen it in any other double. Being the Dumb ass hoe that she is, she disregarded it.

"None?" Remmy asked. "Well, according to various other sources, it would be best if you did give that strip show but not to the captain."

"What'd'ya mean?" Maggie replied.

"If you were to go to the Professer, gave him a little show, steal the timer and then come back... We could slide and then everything would be ok." Remmy said.

Maggie suddenly stopped. Remmy and Mallory looked back at her. It FINALLY came to her.

"Mallory.. That gleam.. In your eyes.. And that tone!" Maggie managed to get out. She felt tears come to her eyes. "Quinn?" She finally asked.

"In the Flesh!" He answered.

"WHOEE!" Remmy said.

"That's how you of all people, could have pulled things together.. How you know everything I was thinking." Maggie said.

"Where's Mallory?" Remmy asked.

"Well In the Lab, Leeloo was scanning me for some reason and she found two rhythms. Since she had control over my body at the time, she picked one and deleted it. I'd rather she'd pick me but Mallory was the one she picked. Only he was never deleted. My pattern became the primary one and Mallory's the secondary. So.. Here I am!" Quinn Explained. Remmy looked at Maggie who shrugged. Remmy walked up to Quinn and Gave him a hug. Maggie ran up and kissed him. Quinn looked behind them and saw Transmodiar, god of sliding, seated at a table eating a whole buffet.

"Now's your chance Maggie!" Quinn said. He pushed her along.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jenn: Ok I'm done! :-D

Tigs: Ok, My Turn, Finally!!

Jenn got up and walked over to the bar.

Jenn: Hook me up with a coke please.

TM nodded and passed her one. She ran back into the lounge where CoolSlider and Recall were now watching Sliders.

Jenn:What happened to X-Files?

CoolSlider: Well we figured since this being a Slider's Story Cave, we'd keep to the theme.

Jenn plopped down on the sofa inbetween Recall and Coolslider.

Jenn:You guys... You guys... You guys suck..

Meanwhile Tigs sat typing and downing fairy dust...

øøøøø The End øøøøø

Maggie bit her lip and eyed Arturo, “I’m not stripping for him or anyone else,” she muttered to Remmy and Quinn.

“How else are we going to get it back?” Remmy asked, all innocence.

“Poison him,” Maggie brightened.

“No,” Quinn looked around, “we need a distraction.”

“I. Am. Not. Stripping.” Maggie bit off each word.

*Suuuuuuuuuuure* the two men heard.

Quinn grinned and pulled out what looked like a modified dog whistle. “What’s that?” Remmy questioned.

“Leelo gave it to me,” Quinn put it to his lips and blew; Maggie seemed to be the only one who noticed as she cringed. Looking at his watch Quinn continued, “our distraction should be here in a couple of hours.”

“Isn’t that cutting it awfully close?” Maggie prodded.

“We have a little over two hours left,” Quinn offered, “we’ll be fine.”

Two hours later and thud rocked the ship. Everyone looked back at the mushroom cloud forming above the place where the Azure Bridge used to stand. “The turtle did that?” Maggie asked.

“Well, he was designed by the Trills. I guess he has a few special modifications that the Andorians didn’t know about,” Quinn answered as the three sliders had hovered near Arturo “Transmodiar, god of sliding” who hadn’t stopped eating. He did look up as the ship was rocked a second time. Finally he jumped up with glee. Running to the side of the boat he barely noticed bumping into a buxom, young woman, “Gamerrrraaaaaa,” he cried like a child over a favorite toy.

“Transmodiar, god of sliding” jumped over the ship and onto the turtle. “Weeeeeeeeeeeeee,” he shouted repeatedly.

Maggie glanced at the timer, “uh, guys, we slide NOW.” She pressed the activation button and two blue bolts of joy shot out, tearing open the universe. Quickly the three jumped through and absorbed the beautiful colors playing inside the tunnel. Each slider breathed a soft sigh of relief at the opening ahead.

øøøøø øøøøø

Grinning, Tigs deposited the manuscript on the desk. “Wait,” BS commanded, “we have to see if it’s flamed.”

Tigs rolled her eyes and dashed out a couple of things on her PDA. Satisfied with her clicks she looked up, “hm. No flameys.”

MSR/PSF/D1 hauled ass into the cave with a delighted grin on her face, “how? Why?” she stumbled over the questions as the rest of the cavers crowded around her.

“It’s the least I could do since you cleaned up the story so very much in your segment,” Tigs grinned back.

“Thank you,” with a skip in her step MSR walked over to the alcove and inserted a small card into a previously unnoticed slot. A beam of light crystallized beside the chair slowly shaping into a humanoid figure. The ever hot, Nicholas Lea held out his arms and embraced MSR/PSF/D1.