It was a quiet day in the pastel, suburban hamlet of 86/North.

Quiet, until a wormhole tore a temporary rip in the fabric of space-time, for the purposes of ejecting four hapless dimensional travelers.

Quinn, Wade, Rembrandt and Arturo picked themselves up off the ground. After brushing some dust from his jacket, Quinn checked the timer.

"Six days and change, guys. All right, let's go find the Dominion..."

***

The quartet were unable to make heads or tails of the area, however. Everywhere they looked presented nothing but more identical housing projects. Eventually, Wade stopped a pedestrian to ask for directions.

"Excuse me, can you tell us where to find the Dominion Hotel?"

The woman, puzzled, ran a hand through disheveled, dark hair. "Hotel?"

Wade gave the Professor a look which neatly summed up her opinion of the passerby's probable IQ, then turned back. "Thanks, we'll, uh... we'll look somewhere else." She started to leave.

The pedestrian called after them. "Wait, where are you people from?"

"We're from San Francisco," Quinn ventured, guessing - and quite correctly so - that for the first time they had landed outside their hometown.

"Yeah, so your ancestors were... where are *you* from? I'm Jacona Hyacinth. From right here, 86/North." A pause. "Hey, where'd you get those weird clothes?"

Rembrandt glanced around, noticing several other residents wearing the same type of clothing as this woman. A white shirt with golden emblems, and on the right a vertical stripe. The stripe was a different colour on every individual outfit.

Just then the conversation was interrupted by a loud chiming noise from far above their heads. An announcement followed: "This is the Chair speaking... due to unforeseen circumstances, power to all nonessential grids will be indefinitely terminated..."

Our Sliders' attention, however, was understandably drawn to the fact that the houses, the streets and even the sky, were... dissolving.

After a few moments, all that was left was an immense, mechanical cavern. The neighbourhood had melted into a labyrinth of circuitry and metal framework.

Hyacinth was only slightly less shaken than the others. "They'd only turn the holograms off if something was wrong. *Really* wrong."

Arturo assessed the situation. "Madam, do you know anyone who might be able to tell us what in blazes is going on around here?"

She stuttered, "A- all right, I can... take you to the Deck Office. They'll probably have news from the top..."

***

On their way to the Deck Office, Quinn heard Wade's voice from some distance behind him. "Guys? Come look at this."

The others obligingly returned to join her. Wade was reading a brass plaque incongruously stuck to a black, metallic girder.

"Interstellar Colony Ship Myriad... Quantum singularity drive installed Dectober 18, 4637."

Rembrandt gawked at the plaque. "Wait a minute... are you trying to tell us we've landed in the year 4000? On some kind of... freakin' spaceship?"

"Singularity drive," Quinn murmured. "That must have been what attracted our vortex."

The Professor was already onto the disturbing practical implications. "The fact of the matter is, if we cannot return to this universe's Earth in six days' time, we shall be forced to remain here."

This sank in.

Jacona Hyacinth called out to them, "Are you people coming, or not?"

=====
Blinker: Hey, you all wanted to see this idea when Marc Scott Zicree was going to do it!
Robin14334: Gee, why don't you bring back that silly talking flame from the third season while you're at it?
Blinker: What makes you think I haven't?...
Torch: All right, it's BritSlider's turn now! Pass me on, will you? Say, got any snack-sized wood chips I could feast on? Yoweeeeee!
<BritSlider accepts torch from Blinker, already plotting his reve... er, story post>
BlazingAngelKnight: All right, I've figured it out! Next time, I'm changing my handle to "HorriblyViciousBeatingOfALifetimeKnight"! No, wait... "OtherBBoardPostersKickingHimIntoNextWeekKnight"? No...
SL4ever: Man, I can't *wait* to see the idea Blink thought we'd like less than this.

***************

Hyacinth just looked at the four new people. "Do you want to come to the Deck Office or not? Time's a wasting, I've got things to do."

The sliders followed her down a maze of corridors along the length of the spaceship. Just when it seemed that they must have walked nearly half a mile, she stopped just outside a door marked 'Deck Office'. Opening the door, she ushered them inside, where they saw what could best be described as some kind of conference room; a large table in the middle, surrounded by chairs. "Wait in here," she said, "and I'll get the Officer of the Watch to speak to you." With that, she shut the door behind them.

The sliders were distracted by Hyacinth enough not to notice the window at first. Then Wade's jaw dropped as she turned around, and realised that she was now staring out into the vastness of space. "You guys!" she hissed, "Take a look at this, we really are in space!"

Quinn, Arturo and Remmy all made their way to the window to look out. Remmy was the first of them to speak; "Oh my God, it's full of stars!" he said with a grin.

Quinn just sighed, "Okay Remmy, you win the bad quote award for today!" Arturo seemed lost in thought. Wade noticed that there seemed to be a tear in his eye. Surely the professor couldn't be showing some kind of emotion?

"Are you all right, Professor?" she ventured.

Arturo turned round, and Wade could see quite clearly now that he was crying tears of joy. "It's quite simple Miss Wells; I am a Professor of Cosmology and Oncology. I have been dealing with the theoretical aspects of the universe for as long as I can remember. It has always been my dream to one day see the stars from somewhere other than the earth's surface, and now my dream has been fulfilled. Today is the happiest day of my life."

Quinn beamed with joy, he had never seen the professor so happy. Wade just smiled and gave Arturo a hug.

Just then the door was opened, and the figure of a tall woman entered the room. She was dressed in the same white shirt as Hyacinth had been, except that she wore a black vertical stripe on hers. "My name is Jocasta Rose, I am the Officer of the Watch. I understand you need to speak to me?" Her tone was as severe as the look on her face, and that could have curdled milk at ten paces.

Remmy was the first to speak; "We need to get back to earth ma'am. It's as simple as that."

The officer snorted at this, clearly unimpressed with what Remmy had just said. "Not possible!" was all she replied.

"Madam," said Arturo, in his most condescending voice, "I don't think you understand our situation. It is imperative that we get back to earth within the next six days. What could be so hard about that? After all, this ship is equipped with a quantum singularity drive isn't it?"

The officer seemed even less impressed with Arturo than she was with Remmy. "Well of course it is! How else could we have got out here?"

"Are you saying that there is no way you will take us back to earth?" asked Quinn.

"Well," she started,...............

******************

BritSlider decides that he has had enough of this, and lays down the pen.
Sleepingtiger enters the cave, along with a rather fierce looking mountain lion at her side.

Brit: Hi Tigger, hi Peeks.
ST: [H]ey [B]ritSlider.
Peeks: [G]rrrrrr!
Brit: Oh come on Peeks, it was bad enough when Tigger did it, I don't need you joining in too!
ST: [W]hat [A]re [Y]ou [T]alking [A]bout? [I]sn't [T]his [W]hat [Y]ou [W]anted?
Brit: Okay Tigger, you've made your point, you can cut it out now!
ST: [O]kay, [I]'ll [S]top [I]t! But you know how teachers hate it when people pick up on their errors of grammar. Hehe!
Brit: Sorry about the story Tigger, but I just couldn't think of what to write after I saw what Blinker had done with the story. I just padded it out in the hope that you could find some direction.
ST: Hmmm, I'm sure that I will think of something appropriate. Hey, this cave looks different!
Brit: Oh yeah. We decided to move from the old network cave to this new cable one. We might not get the same viewing figures as we did in the old cave, but at least the audience will be dedicated story game readers.
ST: Aren't you worried that Peckinpah will find his way here eventually and ruin all your hard work?
Brit: No, we've set up anti-dickhead mines at the entrance of the cave, if he tries to get in he'll be blown to pieces.
ST: Neat!
Torch (voice of Margot Kidder): Will you get on with it!
ST: Hey, shouldn't that be Veronica Cartwright?
Brit: Contractual problems, we had to make do with what we could get. Still, it's all yours now, good luck.
<And with that, BritSlider hands the torch to sleepingtiger to carry on with the story.........>

********************

"Well..." she began. Before she could continue everything around them faded into nothingness as the walls of a warehouse coalesced around them. "Damn. Damn. Damn. Where's our power?"
Arturo looked around at the walls, the strange vestiges of a technology he couldn't begin to comprehend and then the skylight. Sunshine trickled in through the patchy clouds. "I was so close," he whispered. Wade gently put her hand in his.
A young man who looked strangly familiar traipsed towards them. He held in his hand a clip board of sorts. His black hair was long and tinkled as he walked due to the beads used in the multitude of tiny braids in his hair. His glasses framed bright green eyes. Quinn topped him by barely an inch. "What is going on?"
"Quinn isn't it?" Without waiting for a response he continued, "We've been dabbling with technology that allows us to actually use quantum singularities. This is the testing stage. We are trying to work the kinks out in a holographic environment before we risk real lives on it. Of course, the Breccha can't understand why we insist on developing the technology ourselves."
"Huh?" Quinn looked as confused as Remmy did whenever scientific mumbo-jumbo came up.
The man motioned to the Watch Supervisor and the two of them departed leaving four confused sliders in their wake.

"Now what?" Wade asked.
"That would be my job. Sorry about all this confusion." She was in her mid-twenties with long red hair. Her ice blue eyes seemed to rake over each individual of the group. "Well come on. You need to be debriefed. The Breccha will want to look you over for multiverse varients. And of course somewhere in there you'll want to rest and relax a little. Six days wasn't it?"
Without waiting for their acknowledgement she began to walk away towards a tall set of doors that appeared to lead outside. The sliders weren't going to take that for granted though. "What is she talking about?"
"Mr. Brown if they are using a quantum singularity then they will be traveling between dimensions."

[Blinker: Hey that's not scietifically sound.
ST: Oh. Okay Mr. Let's-put-them-on-a-spaceship-in-the-future-because-I-want-to-out-do-BAK.

Blinker: Hey that's not fair.
ST:Whatever. Now let me continue please.]

"It sounds like they might have had some problems." As Quinn finished the group was led into a strange vehicle. It looked to be an aircar of some sort. As Quinn looked around he noticed that everything looked like a 50s commercial for the end of the century. "Uhmm. Guys I think something strange is still going on."

"Doctor. I don't know how much longer we can keep them in the dreaming link."
"I know Esper Jazu. I know."
"Doctor I think that we should bring the female out. She seems to be leading them toward the truth."
"How do you figure? The young male seems to be making all the discoveries."
"She was the one with Gifts. She's prodding them in the direction she wants them to go."

***************
ST: Well. I hope that you can do something with this.
LP: I think you've left me enough options. I should be able to do something. You did the best you could after the mess they made.
Brit: Hey that's not fair. He started it.
LP: Whatever. Where's the torch??
<ST hands it over. She motions for Peeks to come. Peeks seems much more interested in having her head scratched by BritSlider.>
Brit: I like this kitty Tigger.
ST: Peace.
Brit: Peace. [T]igger. Sorry. Had to do it one last time.

"She was the one with the gifts. She's prodding them in the direction she wants them to go."

"Hmmm," said the doctor. "You are correct. Her gifts could interfere."

"Do you think we should wake her, or just disrupt her link?"

"Let's disrupt the link for now. I'm not ready to deal with her just yet. We have to be careful, though. We don't want her to just disappear and alarm the others. Also, increase the dosage of the drugs to the rest of them. It will decrease their chances of waking before we get the information we need."

"Right," said Esper Jazu. He began fiddling with some of the controls on the console of the observation room that overlooked the sterile isolation room where the four hapless sliders slept, guarded by mechanical beings resembling spiders. He watched the screen that displayed their collective dream and began to manipulate the events that were unfolding.

***

"My name is Adrian," said the red-haired woman after the air car had lifted off. "I was sent to welcome you. It's not often we have interdimensional visitors. And you are?"

"I thought you knew our names," said Wade. "That guy back there knew who Quinn was."

"You must be mistaken," laughed Adrian. "How could we possibly know who you are?"

The sliders exchanged looks. They had all heard the braided guy call Quinn by name. Something strange was definitely going on here.

Quinn decided to play along for now. "Well, I'm Quinn, then." He introduced the others, who nodded their greetings to Adrian. "So can you tell us what just happened? And where are we going?"

"Of course," said Adrian. "You arrived in the middle of a holographic test of our quantum singularity drive. We've been trying to perfect it so that we can begin relieving some of our overpopulation problems by starting colonies in other parts of the multiverse. We have been having some problems, however, and we were hoping that you, having interdimensional travel capabilities, might be able to help us."

"It's the least we can do after interrupting your experiments," said the professor.

"I'm glad to hear it. Right now, though, I thought you might appreciate some time to rest and refresh. We are on our way to our central embassy, where we have guest quarters."

While she was talking, Wade and Remmy were surveying the surroundings.

"Can you believe this?" Remmy laughed. "It's just like they designed their society from watching old sci-fi TV from our world! Amazing!"

"Yeah, amazing," muttered Wade. This place was giving her a very bad feeling that she couldn't explain. Looking at some of the scenery, she felt as if she should recognize it from someplace besides on TV. She couldn't remember from where, but it seemed to be just at the edge of her brain. Suddenly, she felt a very unusual sensation, as if she were abruptly dislodged from the present reality. The scenery around her warped and shifted slightly, making her dizzy. The words that Rembrandt was saying became slow and unintelligible. Spots in the scenery melted away for an instant. Then, just as suddenly, she was snapped back to normality. She shook her head and grabbed her temples to dissipate the feeling, wondering what was wrong with her. No one else seemed to have experienced this.

"Are you ok?" asked a concerned Remmy.

"Yeah...yeah I'm fine...," replied Wade, though she was unconvinced.

***

"That was close, Esper! Very close! I told you to be careful!"

"I was being careful, Doctor! I didn't change the drugs at all! She must have done that on her own."

"Impossible. Just get them separated as quickly as possible."

"Yes, ma'am."

***

The travelers soon arrived at a large building made out of something that resembled marble. As they emerged from the aircar, a man emerged from the door and greeted them.

"This is Xavier," Adrian said. "He will show you gentlemen to your quarters. Wade, if you will come with me, I will show you to yours."

Wade looked at Quinn, showing her concern at being separated. He leaned down and whispered. "Go on. I'm sure it will be fine. We won't be far away." She nodded and reluctantly followed Adrian up a flight of stairs and deep into the building.

***

"Alright," said the doctor. "She is separated. Now change the drug composition to transfer her to dreamless sleep." Esper Jazu fiddled with the controls a bit more and Wade disappeared from the screens. "Good. Very good. We'll let the rest of them continue as programmed and record the process for review later. We have a few other things to attend to."

"Agreed, doctor," replied Esper Jazu, who made a few last minute adjustments at the console and followed the doctor out of the room.

***

A short while after the creatures left the room, Wade began to stir. It may have been because Esper Jazu programmed the wrong dosage, it may have been because she was becoming tolerant, but in any case, the drugs were no longer keeping her asleep. As she stirred, one of the spider beings, began to pace nervously. It had been programmed to watch her and to leave her unharmed. It was not, however, prepared for the eventuality that she would actually awaken. It knew it was supposed to keep her from leaving, but it did not know how to do so without damaging her.

Slowly, Wade's consciousness returned. Groggily, she opened her eyes upon a very unusual scene indeed. She was lying on a sort of gurney, with IV's and electrodes attached to various parts of her body. The room was dim, and the ceiling a skeleton of girders with a few spartan light fixtures hanging down. She turned her head to the left and saw her companions in similar positions on similar gurneys, only none of them seemed to be awake. She tried to call out, but her body and reflexes were still muddled by the drugs, and no sound emerged. She noticed some machinery and that the room seemed to be made mostly of tile and something like stainless steel. She turned her head to the right, which gave her a view of more machinery and a wall with charts posted on it. The mechanical spider scuttled into view, followed by a second, and her eyes widened in fear. Her body's adrenaline level fought the lethargy she was plagued with, and she was able to sit up. Sitting up too quickly made her swoon, and she almost fainted, but was able to control it by concentrating and biting down hard on her bottom lip. The spider came closer, snapping its foreclaws menacingly.

"Go away!" she cried. "Shoo!" as she drew her legs up and cowered against the wall at the head of the gurney. "Quinn! Wake up! Help me!!! Remmy! Professor! Anybody! Please, please wake up!!!"

There was no response from her companions. The spider backed off a little at her cries, but it planted itself firmly a few feet away, and the second followed the example of the first. Wade watched them warily until she was confident they weren't planning to attack right away, then decided to get a better look around the room. She decided not to yell again, since yelling any louder might draw unwanted attention. She had no idea where they were, how they got there, or who put them there, and she wanted to get her bearings just a little bit better before having to confront potentially very unfriendly strangers. There wasn't much she hadn't already noticed, besides a few more machines and a few carts bearing frightening-looking instruments. Then she noticed a sort of window above them on the wall to her left. She assumed it to be an observation room. She shielded her eyes with her hand trying to see in, but the glass was too dark. She didn't know, but her guess was that no one was there for now. Otherwise, someone probably would have noticed she was awake and come to deal with her. She examined the wires and tubes connected to her. She removed the IV first, knowing that whatever they were giving her had to be bad news. She then tore off the electrodes and tried to examine the machine she'd been attached to. It seemed to have been monitoring her brain waves and her heart rate. There was also something that looked like a recording device. The machine was connected to a central machine that was in turn connected to mahines hooked up to all her companions. She was getting more and more freaked by the second. She reached out to try to touch Remmy, who was the closest to her, but he was out of reach. One of the spiders growled menacingly.

"OH, shut up!" she grumbled at it. "Why don't you go short out your circuits." It responded with another growl and a snap or two. This thing was giving her the creeps. She looked around trying to find some kind of weapon. The closest thing she could find was the IV pole. She reached up and removed the IV bag, which was rather large and still mostly full, keeping her eyes fixed on the spiders. The most aggressive one made a couple of protesting sounds, but didn't interfere. She then picked up the pole and thrust it at the spider, wheels first. It grabbed the pole out of her hands, which was not difficult since her grip on it wasn't that great, and tumbled it to the floor, after which it snapped the pole in two. The second spider began snarling at the commotion. Great. Now what was she going to do? The only thing she had now was the IV bag. She got an idea and tried tearing a hole through it, but the material was too thick. She looked at the spider, hoping her idea would work. She tossed the bag at it, upon which it reached up and grabbed the bag, tearing it open and pouring liquid all over itself. The spider fussed, and its companion began running in circles, emitting high pitched whines. Several sparks emitted from parts of the wet spider, which was now standing in a small puddle. It was still functional, though, and not too happy by the sounds of it, so she then grabbed the machine next to her and tumbled it over onto the spider. The machine busted on top of the spider, crushing parts of it and exposing other parts to circuitry that was still attached to a source of electricity. The electricity and wet spider were not compatible, and chaos ensued. She watched the spider as it floundered and sparked out of consciousness, while its companion watched and fretted mechanically from a safe distance.

"Watch it, or I'll do the same to you!" she threatened to the other spider, which responded with another high-pitched whine and a desperate snapping of its claws. She slowly dropped her feet towards the floor on the left side of the gurney, keeping her eyes on the other creature, but it would not at this point come past the wreckage of its destroyed counterpart. She then turned to her companions, disconnecting them one at a time. This resulted in a rather surreal situation for them. From Quinn's point of view, it appeared that, in the middle of a conversation with Xavier and the braided guy, Rembrandt and the professor simply winked out of existence, one right after the other. Then before he could even react, his surroundings melted into nothingness, leaving him with the fading image of looks of dismay and panic on the faces of his inquisitors.

Wade ran between them trying to slap them awake, but even though she had disconnected them, the extra doses of drugs Esper Jazu had given them were still heavy in their systems and would not allow them to awaken just yet. "Damn!" she cursed to herself. She then looked for a way to get out of this strange room. One door was on the other side of the remaining spider, and she didn't want to try going that way. Another door was on the other wall, but turned out to be locked when she tried it. She looked up and contemplated the window above. Hoping it wasn't break proof, she picked up one of the other IV poles and tried to break it open. The window shattered into a million tiny pieces which showered down around her, some leaving tiny cuts and scrapes. The spider screeched in dismay and got up the nerve to scuttle across the wreckage towards her. Wade used the pole to get as much of the glass away from the bottom edge of the window as possible, after which she jumped up and grabbed the bottom to pull herself up. The spider reached her just as she was pulling her legs up, and its snapping claws caught her heel. It couldn't keep its grip, though, and she escaped into the room above sporting a nasty cut and a hole in her shoe. The poor spastic thing scuttled around in circles again, screeching and fussing. It didn't seem like whoever had programmed it had done a very good job, she thought.

She looked around the observation room and thought she had hit the jackpot. There were computers everywhere, and several monitors above. She set about figuring out the system before somone came back. She inadvertantly rewound part of the recording device and set it playing again, and she saw the scenes that she and the others had been playing through before. She was starting to get really scared now and wished fervently that someone else would wake up soon. She played around with the computer some more, trying to open any files that could give her information, when she heard running footsteps and froze, hoping they would run past. Unfortunately, they did not and instead burst into the room. She looked up to confront two of the most bizarre looking creatures she had ever seen. They were humanoid, but they were very tall and thin, with heads resembling something like a mix between a camel and a dog, with long floppy ears, fuzzy faces, and a goat-like nose. They were hardly what you would call cute, though. Their eyes reflected a sort of malign intelligence, and she was positive that they weren't interested in chatting over tea. One of them pointed to the mess she had made with a hand that was made up of two large pointed fingers and a thumb.

"What the Blurg have you done!?!?!" it cried.
"I warned you not to underestimate her, doctor," the other creature, who was Esper Jazu, responded.
The doctor turned its angry eye on Jazu and growled, "Shut up!" Turning back to Wade, she screamed, "You! Come with me! NOW!!!"

Obviously, Wade had no choice in the matter.

***

LP: Well, that's it for me for now. Hope it was ok for a first attempt. I tried to come up with a towel reference, Brit, but it just didn't' fit anywhere. Too bad.

Brit: Thank god!

LP: Maybe next time. Who's up next?

Sarah: That would be Robin14334.

Robin14334: Hey, chickies! I'm still here. My turn?

LP: Yup. Here y'go <passes torch> Hope I left you something to work with. C'mon, Rover, let's get you home.

While Wade was being "dealt with accordingly" by the doctor, Esper Jazu was reconnecting the others to the machines. All of a sudden, Quinn, Rembrandt, and the Professor realized they were back with Xavier and the braided guy.
"What happened?" Quinn asked, putting a hand to his forehead. "We just disappeared...." He was extremely confused.
"Nothing... it was a hallucination," Xavier explained hurriedly. "It... um... it's a side effect of entering the experiment like you did."
Quinn didn't really believe that. Looking at his two companions, he realized they didn't either. Rembrandt looked puzzled, and the Professor appeared to be pondering if such a side effect were possible. However, Quinn was much more suspicious. He knew there was something *really* wrong, that none of them completely understood, or perhaps weren't even capable of understanding. But Wade understood. He didn't know why he thought that, but he knew it was true. Wade had the answer.
"Where's our friend?" he asked. "Can we see her?"
"Um, I'll go find her," the braided guy told him.
"Yeah, you shouldn't go wandering around here, you might get lost," Xavier added. "We'll find her, you just stay here."
The two of them left the room, locking the door behind them. "We have to warn the doctor," Xavier said. "The young one is catching on."

Meanwhile, the doctor was making sure Wade wouldn't interfere with the experiment anymore....

<Robin14334 throws the torch down in disgust on top of the story.>
Robin14334: That's all! I give up! nycslider, you make sense of this story!
<nycslider looks at the torch lying on the ground.>
nycslider: Gee thanks.
SL4ever: Ya know, somebody better pick up that torch before it sets the story on fire....

~Robin

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***WARNING: PLEASE DO NOT USE BEFORE ANY SPECIAL EVENTS SUCH AS WEDDINGS, FUNERALS, OR TALK SHOW APPEARANCES. SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE LACK OF ACTING TALENT, AN ATTENTIVENESS TO WHINE, AND AN INCREASE IN BREAST SIZE****

Kari Wuhrer: Everyone, you'll love this product, trust me. My life's never been better.

And this from someone who earned high marks such as Talk Soup's clip of the week 6/5/99 as "Most Awkward interview" on Late Night w/ Conan O'Brien.

So....feeling down and low... Well PEP UP with Kari Wuhrer's caffeinne pills.

<a zoom on Kari's picture appears on screen and picture winks.>

HK: OK... I aired the commercial. Now where's the check.
SliderCorp. Exec: Here ya go. You've been doing a nice job here. Well call on you again in due time.
Robin14334: Wait a minute! We are not in your old cave anymore, This is BritSlider's!
HK: I know! I wouldn't have a problem with it, but He left ME with the debts and bills. So I still handle income. So... Now to get more torches....
<HurriKain passes by an old couch, and most the participants are fighting for a seat.>
Slider_Sarah<yelling in the commotion>: I would like some room please! Brit, move over!
BritSlider: Sod off, wanker! I was here first!
SL4ever: Yeah, and your big ass is taking much of the room!
<LovePigeon approaches big fight with Rover behind her>
LP: Is there any room for me?
ALL: NO!!!!!!!!!!!
LP: Sick 'em, Rover.
<Rover speedily crawled over the couch and on the players, but fell over from a kick from SL4ever!!!!>
<Everyone on the couch starts to chant, "Hell No, we won't go." And nycslider had just made it to the cave.>
nycslider: sorry I'm late, stuck in traffic. Now where's th.....AHHHHHHHHHH.
<the commotion stopped and saw nycslider slip on the torch and during his hard fall, the torch rolled toward the couch, and that instant everyone hopped off just in time as they saw the couch go up in one big poof!>
HK <smelling smoke>: Hey guys, what's that sme.....AHHHHHHH!!!!
<see burning couch>
HK: Who did this?
<Everyone points at nycslider>
nycslider: It was an accident.
HK: I paid good money for that couch.
Sider_Sarah: Hey! Wait a second! You told us you paid $15 dollars on it at a salwage yard!
HK: Er..Well... It's the thought that counts.
All: Wha?
HK: Oh...never mind! I guess I'll have to get another couch. Sarah, go call Slidercorp and say that you want to air another commercial, that way we get more money.
Slider_Sarah: ooo..oooo. Can I do the commercial this time?
HK: OK.
Slider_Sarah: YAY!
Robin14334: And HK, Get a BIGGER couch this time.
SL4ever: Yeah, and get a couple of Lay-Z Boy chairs too!
<Everyone looks at SL4ever>
Sl4ever: what?


So...Feeling dull

While our 3 friend were locked in the room. Quinn was getting nervous. Something was not right. Rembrandt and the Professor were oblivous to Quinn's nervousness. They were however puzzled. "Q-ball I am not sure how...but I know this is your fault."

"Calm down Mr. Brown I am sure there is an explanation to all of this." The Professor always seemed to be a little condesending but with heart. "Everything is going to make sense as soon as Xavier gets back with Wade".

"That is it, Where is this guy? Where is Wade? It is like I do not feel her anymore, like she has disapeared out of existance." Quinn knew how he felt and he was starting to not trust anything or anyone.

***

The doctor was talking to Wade when Xavier entered the room. "Please leave us I am not quite done here yet..."
Xavier didn't move he knew that this was to important to put off. "Please I need to speak with you it is about, one of our vistors." He points to Wade who is strapped in a chair unable to move. "What is it?" the Doctor said "It better be good news."

***

Quinn began to pace. 'She is danger,' he thought. 'I have got to figure out what is going on.' "Professor, have you got any ideas to what is going. Something is not right."
The Professor knew any answer was not do "My boy, I know that Miss Wells is fine, we will find her and make the slide in..." his voice trailed off.
Quinn's concern now fell in Arturo's direction. "WHAT, what is wrong..." he yelled.

This got Remmy's attention. "Okay one of you geniuses better tell me what is going on."
Arturo looked at Remmy and then looked at Quinn and replied "When we came through the vortex Mr. Mallory you said 'we have 6 days and some change'." Doing his best Quinn iiatation.
"Very funny Professor." Quinn cracked a slight smile he was not sure if it was funny or just nerves. "Yes, I belive that is what I said, Why?"

The answer was as heavy as a gray cloud ready to release a powerful storm. "The timer still is showing that we have 6 days. I know we have been here at least 24 hours if not more."

Our three sliders looked at each other. Confused and knowing that this was not fun anymore, something was dreadfully wrong.

Quinn took the timer, crashed into the seat behind him and whispers to himself. "Wade, where are you...."

***

"I believe our friend Quinn is going to be a problem..." Xavier said.
The Doctor replied "I knew it. The young one is the one with the answers and I might have to eliminate him."

Wade overheard and she shed a tear and whispered "Quinn, Remmy, Professor... her voice trailed off as another injection was given.

<nycslider puts down her pen and hopes for the best.>
nycslider: I hope it makes sense.
<nycslider passes the torch to Hurrikain and smiles>
HK: Thanks alot nyc, now what....
SL4ever: Let's go HK. I need to see what happens.
HK: Calm down here I go wish me luck...

~Jill

As Wade was injected once more, Xavier was hoping she'll stay down this time. The Doctor just watches as she drifts off to a drugged sleep. "What do you think we should do with the others?" The Doctor asked. "The black one and the fat one I can take, but the young, smart one may be a nuisance. He could be helpful....or dangerous."
The Doctor wanted to continue the conversation, but A whole lot of sirens sounded off. Xavier looked around, "What? What's happening?"
"Hold on... we have visual..." The Doctor said, pointing to a small security screen. It showed Remmy and the Professor sneaking around.
"They're in the lower east quadrant."
"Damn it! They are out of sedation already! Get them now!"
And with that, the Doctor and Xavier left the room.

Wade dreamt that she was in some kind of space. Everything was black around her. Yelling for help and for her friends was useless, as all she heard was echoes. Although she kept trying, there was still no answer, so she broke down and wept, after feeling the sorrow of loneliness. Suddenly a patch of light pierced this dark space and she saw a blurred vision that appeared to be Quinn's face.

Quinn snuck into the room, while the Doctor and Xavier ran out. Thanks to Remmy and the Professor, He could get Wade out with no trouble. "Wade...Wade..." Quinn yelled as he shook her, but she hasn't stirred. Then he saw the tube that was injecting her body with some kind of drug. After he yanked it out, He tried again to awaken her. "Wade...Wade!..Get up..." After numerous tries, she finally opened her eyes.
"Wade, Wade! Are you alright?"
She wanted to speak, but all that came out her mouth was a moan.
"Don't worry! Don't speak. We'll get out of this."
Knowing that Wade is still weak from the drug, he picked her up and carried her out.

HK: Well...I tried.... It was so hard!
<HK then unwraps the tape and hands SexualChocolate69 the torch>
HK: Good Luck!....you'll need it.
sleepingtiger: HK..ahem...the couch?
<HK looks over the burned remains of the old couch>
HK: Oh Yeah! I'm on my way to the furniture place right now!
Robin14334: Oh no you don't! Obviously, you don't have good taste in furniture. I'm coming with you.
HK: Suit Yourself.
<And now HK and Robin set of on a long journey. their mission: Bring back a comfy couch!>

To hear about the new couch and the comedy along the way, go to this post:

http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/8182

Guaranteed to crack you up!

HK

<After a very long journey, Robin14334 and HurriKain returned to the cave with success of finding the perfect couch. It was told to be LONG with leather material which broke off at a right angle, with reclining footrests, and as an added bonus, a coffee table. Now all they have to do is wait on delivery.>

<A few hours later>

Robin14334: Where the hell is it?!?!?! I'm tired of sitting on the floor.
HurriKain: It'll come. I called and they said the deliverers were at their lunch break. So it'll take a while.
Robin: alright. But as soon as they get here, I'm opening a can of whup-ass.

<Jeopardy music plays, and minutes pass. Robin was growing ever more impatient, and HK just fell asleep. And suddenly a loud noice was heard...>

HK (awakening): Zzzz..z.mmm...what? What's that sound?
<Then comes a loud beeping>
HK: Wait a minute! That's the truck!
Robin: Yay!!!
Couch Deliverer: Alright, are you the ones that ordered the couch and table?
HK: yeah <hands deliverer the check and bill>
Couch Deliverer: OK. <whistles> Bring it down!!!!!
HK: OK, we got it! but the question is...where to put it?
Robin: In the cave?
HK: I know, but where in the cave?
Robin: It's a cave, does it really matter?
<As HK and Robin were talking, SL4ever comes running to the truck.>
SL4ever: I got shotgun!
HK: Oh no.
Robin: Hey SL4ever! remember those Lay-Z Boy chairs you wanted?
SL4ever: Uh-huh Uh-huh.
Robin: Well, it's in the truck, do you want it?
SL4ever: Uh-huh yeah. Uh-huh yeah.
Robin: Do you REALLY want it?
SL4ever: Yeah yeah Uh-huh.
Robin: Well, go get it boy!!!
<SL4ever runs like a jackass inside the back of the truck. Once inside, Robin closes the door.>
Couch Deliverers: Hey, what do you think your doing? We don't want him.
HK: But he's a great helper and he sure could use the work... Give him a job for the next few days then drop him off here. So thanx for the help. Take care.
<As the truck leaves, Robin approaches HK.>
Robin: What are you doing, you know he has to be back here to finish the story.
HK: I know and he will, knowing him. And that gives us time to SL4ever proof the couch. Rememeber last time he was on our old couch and reading a Sci-Fi mag and saw a picture of Sabrina and started drooling. He left it soaking.
Robin: yeah...although that would of been useful when it was on fire. I have one question though.
HK: What?
Robin: Is this thing pet-proof? I know some of us have some pretty...weird pets?
HK: Peeps, yeah. but Rover....? We'll just spray the couch with Raid. Hey, you got some cans?
Robin: Sure here. <hands HK roach spray, HK start spraying>
HK: Too bad Blinker isn't here to see this.
Robin: yeah
<HK finihed spraying>
HK: well, one pest down, one pest to go. And now for the ultimate test for our newest memeber of the cave (the couch)...The Comfort Test. Robin would you do the honors and take the first seat.
Robin: Certainly >sits on the couch, pops in the footrest and reclines> aaahhhhhh...very comfy... it's a keeper!
HK <taking a seat beside her>: Aaahhhhhh, I love this couch already.

Robin: Ain't it great, and there's no one to fight for your seat.
HK: yeah, Pure Peace. And the coffee table looks nice from here.
Robin: enjoy it before the masses get here.
<Slider142 came around the corner reading a past story, And when he saw HK and Robin relaxing...>
Robin: Aw man! quick shut him up before...
Slider142: NEW COUCH!!!!!!!!!!
Robin: ...too late
<Everybody in the cave stopped what they were doing and started racing for the couch>
HK: Can we EVER have peace!!!
Robin: Uh..HK...I suggest we move..before we get squished
HK: Good Idea
<HK and Robin dive for cover as the entire population of the story game runs for the couch>
HK: Well...It was good while it lasted.
Robin: Yeah. <hiding under table>
<as HK and Robin cowers under the table, someone complains about BritSlider and some remark about lyposuction>
BritSlider: Hey look! They got a new coffee table too!
Robin: Oh dear...
HK: You still got that Windex?
Robin: yeah here <hand HK the Windex>
HK: Leave it beside me...Let them do their damage. And pray the next game we get LESS people.
Robin: Amen!
HK: Look at them. They look so comfortable...
Robin: yeah, we bought the couch, why are we under the table?
HK: yeah
Robin: Got a CM can? We got to get them off our couch.
HK <gets up from table> Yeah! <hands Robin a can> Open on Three. One....Two.....
All: Uh oh!
Robin: Three! <opens a can of..woohoo! whup-ass>
<Everyone runs for cover, couch is empty, HK and Robin returns to their seats.>
Robin: Aaaahhh...much better.
HK: Yeah, this is the life.
<people starts creeping back toward the couch, but HK waves waves an unopen can at them>
HK: Nice try!
<Everyone retreats>
HK: Damn It! Look how they left the table.
Robin: oh no..we have to clean that now.
HK: We just bought this an hour ago.
Robin: I know...who did it? throw them in the pool!
HK: Robin...chill now...kill later
Robin: OK! :-)
<a shot rang out, and knocks the can out of HK's hand>
HK: What the hell!
BritSlider: CHARGE!!!!!!!!! <everyone starts a full scale assault.>
Robin: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I have a spare can! <whips out can, opens it, and throws it at the crowd. Can knocks out all but BritSlider, whose massise bottom is to much even for Colin Mallory's Can of Whup-Ass>
HK: s***! I have some cans of the X-Tra Strength Formula. Be right back. Hold him Off!
Robin: I'll try... <whips out Buffy moves and fends off BritSlider for a few minutes> Hurry, I can't hold him much longer!
HK: Got It! <throws X-Tra Strength Can at Robin>
Robin: Back evildoer! <opens can in BritSlider's face>
BritSlider <falling to his knees>: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! My eyes!
<HK and Robin reclain the couch once more>
HK: Aaaaahh! Finally, some peace.
<The celebration was cut short when the other game players starts charging again>
Robin: Here they go again!
HK: I think we need more cans.....

And so begins the story game epic

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!COUCH WARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:::::Episode 1: The Phantom Furniture:::::

From a time not so long ago for a cave not so far away.....

***

Quinn didn't really know where he was taking Wade. They were in a lab of some kind, and not one they wanted to be in. He had to find somewhere safe to hide before he and Wade met back up with Rembrandt on the Professor. If they could find them.

Quinn looked down at Wade's angelic face. She was still feeling the effects of the drug; her system hadn't got rid of it yet.

They were in a corridor, not exactly the best hiding place. Quinn tried opening a few of the doors, but they were all locked. Except for one, but the cupboard behind that couldn't even hold Wade on her own, let alone both of them. There was a noise from one of the adjacent corridors. Quinn could see no way out. The only door that was open was the one he had just removed Wade from and he didn't really want to go back there, but he had to. He opened the door one handed and hid inside until the sounds had passed.

Wade let out a quiet moan. "Ssshhh," soothed Quinn. "It'll be gone soon and you'll be okay."

"Where... are... the... others?" whispered Wade. It took all of her effort to expel the five syllables of the sentence.

Her companion replied, "We'll find them soon." He wasn't all that certain himself, but if Wade was to improve, he couldn't give her anything to worry about.

He opened the door and made his way out into the corridor again, with Wade in his arms. This time there were no noises and he turned left into another corridor. There was no decoration on the walls, it was all plain white. There was no items of any kind by the walls. It looked identical to the previous one. The only difference was that here there was an unlocked door. With no-where else to go, Quinn took a deep breath and opened the door. He was not prepared for the sight before him...

***

"Now what?" Rembrandt asked of the Professor as they tried to evade their pursuers.

Arturo looked at him. "What do you mean?"

The pair turned a couple of corners and stopped for a moment, hoping they'd thrown off the doctor and Xavier.

"I mean what do we do now?"

After pausing to catch his breath, the Professor answered the question with a question. "You don't have a plan?"

"Er...no. Don't you?"

The professor shook his head. "I suppose Mr. Mallory didn't think to share the rest with us, then. That boy really needs to learn to organise himself! If he would just go through what he needed everyone to do properly, we wouldn't get into situations like this!"

"Like what?" Rembrandt queried.

"I don't know!" retorted Arturo. "That's the problem! We're probably still feeling a few of the after-effects of the drugs they fed us. Mr. Mallory came out before either of us so he mind should technically be clearer."

Rembrandt thought for a moment. "Does anyone have the timer?"

"I believe Mr. Mallory had it when we Slid, but he doesn't now."

"Then shouldn't we try and find it?"

The professor laughed and put his arm round Remmy's shoulders. "Absolutely right, Mr. Brown! That is exactly what we should be doing!"

They were stopped in their tracks as they began to saunter off by a voice behind them commanding them to turn around with their hands up. When they complied, they were faced with a group of bizarre looking creatures, including the two who had confronted Wade earlier. They were holding weapons like none Remmy and Arturo knew, but now they were pointed at them, they didn't feel the impulse to do so.

The foremost being, the doctor, spoke to them. "I see you have broken through that particular set of drugs. Very well, since you will not co-operate through the hallucinogenic method, we shall have to employ other techniques." The doctor then proceeded to instruct others to take them to a specific area, but it was not a language that either of the Sliders present recognised and so they had no idea what was about to happen.

***

<Sarah rips the masking tape off her hands with help from the others on the couch. Several of the other players have returned to the cave, but they're still a little dazed so no collective attack has been organised yet. ThomasMalthus has been reading the story over Sarah's shoulder.>
ThomasMalthus: You call *that* writing?
Sarah: No, I call it words on a page.
TM: Oh that's okay then.
<TM moves in the direction of a group gathering on the opposite side of the cave from the couch.>
Robin14334: Is it me or does it look like they're preparing for another attack?
Sarah: It's not you. It does look like that.
HurriKain <noticing slight movement from one of the players>: Action stations!
<all three stand in front of the sofa, armed and ready to defend>
BritSlider: CHARGE!!!!!
<a full scale attack is launched again, but the Defenders Of The Couch prevail through sheer skill and the attackers fall back and collapse of the ground through exhaustion>
Sarah: Ooh, I'm meant to pass the torch on now, aren't I? <looks around through the collapsees> Ah, there you are misswells. It's your go now! <laughs insanely and hands her the torch>

********************************************************************

Quinn was not prepared for the sight before him:

The Dominion. They WERE asr on Earth, after all.

********************************************************************

misswells: I'm done now. <looks up to see if anyone buys that>
SL4ever: I don't think so.
misswells: <heaves a great sigh, and continues writing>

********************************************************************

Quinn breathed a sigh of relief. Wade looked up at him groggily.
Wade: Where--where are we?
Quinn: Well, we ARE on Earth.
Wade: Where is Remmy? And the Professor?
Quinn: They're still in the--building-place. I don't know what to call it. A compound, I guess. Anyway, let's get to The Dominion. Then you can gather your strength a bit. Ok?
Wade: Ok. And Quinn? I can probably walk now. Can you set me down?
Quinn: <obligingly sets her down>

**********Meanwhile**********

Remmy: What're we gonna do, Professor?
Professor: I am not sure, Mr. Brown.
The menacing creatures are still jabbering in that strange language, their backs to the Sliders. The Professor notices this.
Professor: I suggest an action hearkening back to our childhood!

********************************************************************

misswells: <looking up> Did I quote that right?
No one answers.
misswells: Oh well. <continues to write>

********************************************************************

Professor: Run!

Xavier looked up. The humans were escaping!
Xavier: Doctor! They're getting away!
The Doctor: What?!? <gestures to Xavier and Korth> After them!
Xavier and Korth run, chasing the two human men.

**********At the Dominion**********

Quinn helped Wade into the bed, and called for Room Service to get them some food. Wade would feel better if she had food in her stomach.

There was a knock on the door.
A voice: Room Service!
Quinn opened the door, took the food, tipped the Room Service person, and took it to Wade.

********************************************************************

misswells: Hey could someone hold the torch for me? I'm having trouble holding it and writing at the same time! <Slider_Sarah, having compassion, holds the torch for misswells.>
misswells: Thank you. <resumes writing, without difficulty>

********************************************************************

The two men run down the corridor, trying to lose their pursuers. They reach a dead end.
Remmy: Professor! What next?
Professor: Try all the doors!
They desperately tried all the doors, but they were all locked! Then, one opened! And led to a very small room, bare, nowhere to hide, nothing to use as a weapon. The Professor tried the last door. It also opened, to show a veiw of The Dominion.
They ran out the door, just before the two humanoids rounded the corner.

********************************************************************

misswells: Well, that's it. Who's turn? Ummmmm . . . <hands torch to BAK> Have fun!
Torch: <voice of Margot Kidder> And don't drop me this time.
misswells: by the way, who's Margot Kidder?

~MissWells:-)~

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So if you've got nothing to do, take KARI WUHRER's CAFFEINE PILLS! It'll be a whole new world!

<a zoom in on Kari and she winks at the camera>

***

Slider_Sarah: Okay! We aired the next advert! Cheque please!
SliderCorp. Exec: Advert?
Sarah: Alright, alright *commercial*
SliderCorp. Exec: Ah yes <hands her the cheque>. We'll be seeing you again soon! <leaves cave>
<Sarah runs towards HurriKain who is still sitting on the couch with Robin>
Sarah: I got the money! I got the money! <hands it to HurriKain who is in charge of accounts these days>
HurriKain: Thanks. We still have to air quite a few more commercials before we manage to pay of the debt that dickhead left us with.
<Blinker approaches the couch>
Blinker: I'm back! <all present cheer> Where is everyone?
Robin14334: Oh we won't let them near the couch cos last time they almost wrecked it.
Blinker: Any room for another?
<HurriKain, Robin14334 and Sarah whisper to each other>
HurriKain: Will you wreck it?
Blinker: No.
Robin: Will you swear not to let any unauthorised personnel sit on the couch?
Blinker: Yes.
Sarah: Will you defend the couch at all costs?
Blinker: Yes! Now can I sit on the couch?
<the three move up to give Blinker some room>
Sarah: Now all we have to do is get HK watching Red Dwarf and we'll all be dwarfers! HurriKain, my lovely towel-boy...
Blinker: Towel-boy?
Sarah: According to the rules of the JOC board, HurriKain is my official towel-boy.
Blinker:O...kay.
Robin: Hey! Isn't that Mychand?
Mychand: Hi people! Has the next game started yet?
Blinker: Where have you been for the past howevermany games?
Mychand: Don't know really. When did you lot start writing skits?
HurriKain: Oh that was AGES ago.
<Mychand sits down on the couch to wait for the end. Those already there seem to accept this. A crowd of other participants arrive in front of the couch.>
LovePigeon: OY! They've got new people on the couch!
BritSlider: CHARGE!!! They need to pay!!
All on couch: Uh-oh...

The Professor and Rembrandt entered the Dominion and upon a thorough search of the building discovered their companions.

"Mr. Mallory, Ms. Wells. Thank god we've found you," the Professor exclaimed. Rembrandt looked equally relieved.

"We really need to get out of here." Quinn said, clearly stating the obvious.

"How much time 'til we slide?" Wade managed.

"Not long now," Quinn replied. As he spoke, the roof of the Dominion was torn from the building and towering shadows loomed over our heroes.

"What the devil?!?" Rembrandt yelped.

The Professor was equally distraught. "We are on earth, but clearly one that is vastly different from our own."

Mechanical giants seemed intent upon preying on the populace. Without much hesitation, all four of them began to quickly trek away from the electronic monstrosities.

Rembrandt turned to look at Quinn frantically. "How much longer, Q-Ball? I don't think I can take much more of 'Giant Robot World'."

Quinn looked down at the timer and panic clearly registered on his face, a panic that was soon to be shared by the others. "Something's wrong here, guys. The timer's randomly choosing a countdown time. First it's five minutes, then a few hours, sometimes even a few days. We need to get this thing repaired if we're ever going to get off this world."

"And that means getting shelter as soon as possible." the Professor finished. Running out into the open streets offered the Sliders little protections from their new pursuers. They approached faster, gradually gaining on the foursome until it seemed as though they were right on top of them. The lead robot leveled what looked decidedly like a weapon of mass destruction at the Sliders and then...

everything changed. A lush jungle formed around them. Mayan step temples cast their looming shadows on the ground instead of giant robots, of which none were to be seen.

"OK, now I'm really confused." Rembrandt complained.

Quinn looked more optimistic. "This must have all been part of the program. And if it switched that suddenly, maybe there's a glitch in the system."

Arturo nodded. "A theory worth exploring, Mr. Mallory. Come now, let's see what this new place has to offer us, eh?"

*****

"What do you mean they NEVER escaped?!?!?" Xavier exclaimed.

"It must have been a system misread. Instead of escaping to a separate parallel earth, the system just severely altered their surroundings," the doctor explained meekly.

"And just who ordered that?" Korth wanted to know.

"I...I don't know. There must be some error within the system. We're trying to locate and fix it right now."

"See that you do." Xavier and Korth slowly walked away.

*****

Deep within a system of wires and gizmos far beyond human comprehension, a smile formed.

<TM: Well, I wouldn't call it Damage Control, but my part of the story is done. I hereby pass the torch to whoever's turn it is after me.>

ThomasMalthus

The four sliders had decided to walk to the nearest temple, which seemed abandoned, according to Wade.
"Not abandoned, Miss Wells." elaborated the professor. "The Mayans only use these locations for ritual sacrifices. We should be safe here."
Rembrandt looked confused, but shook his head. "If you say so professor."
Quinn couldn't keep his eyes off the timer. Suddenly he stopped moving. Wade turned back, noticing.
"Quinn, what's wrong?"
Quinn looked like he was about to say something, but only shook his head, defeated. "The timer...It's reading all kinds of different countdowns. The thing is, it's in perfect working condition. Nothing's disconnected, scorched..."
Wade nodded, but was more concerned about Quinn than the timer. She took it from his hands gently. "Come on, Quinn. Let's get some rest."

Esper Jazu stepped into the back room as the door closed behind him. The doctor had been reviewing scenes from the four humans' dream sequences and called him up.
"Dr. Jazu, do you remember why we started this experiment?"
Jazu's expression changed to one of puzzlement. It was a strange question to ask.
"Of course. The humans are getting close to perfecting a controlled quantum singularity drive. With that power, our civilization would not be safe from their...kind. We must learn how they deal with this type of technology."
"Yes. A simple experiment, really. Too simple for the powerful machines behind it, if you ask me. But look at this footage here." With this, the doctor stopped the tape and zoomed in on the timer in Quinn's hands. "What do you make of that?"
Jazu squinted. "I...don't know. Some kind of timer."
The doctor held up the real version in his hands. "I lifted this from the young one a few minutes ago. It is a quantum translocational device. Capable not only of space travel, but dimensional jumping."
He stared at his subordinate as Jazu realiozed what this meant. "They must be further ahead in their research than we thought," he proclaimed, wide-eyed. "Not even we, the Breccha, have such technology."
The doctor shook his head, smiling. "No. There is a simpler explanation. These humans come from a parallel universe." He moved forward to get Jazu's attention. "We have captured the wrong humans!"

Deep within the mainframe, electrons bounced from one gap to another in quantum incoherence. The CPU shut down all of the internal characters and left just the one physical world on. It was time to make it's move.

Wade stared at Quinn's sleeping face and then at the timer that was quietly counting next to him. As soon as they had found a quiet place to sleep, Quinn and the professor had immediately confiscated the timer in an effort to understand what was going on. Unfortunately, it seemed that nothing had happened. Quinn had left his work with a sense of despair that was evident even now on his features. She reached over to touch him.
"Don't worry about Quinn, dear," said the professor, who was evidently done thinking for the night. "I'm sure that he knows what's best for himself. And if he doesn't, I will." He smiled at Wade. "Professor, do you think we're really still inside that simulation? It doesn't feel different."
"Oh , most certainly. But that's the least of our problems. Without fixing the timer, we have no safety hatch, and no way of getting home." The professor didn't look too well at that remark.
"Well," said Wade, trying to think of something that would lift the air of gloom. "At least we're on earth, right? Not some exotic starship or alien planet." She wasn't doing so well.
"Wait a minute," said the professor suddenly. "Oh my God. Of course!"
Wade smiled. She knew he would think of something. "Quinn, wake up!"
"Huh, what?"
"If two singularities existed, yes!"
"What's going on ?" said Rembrandt, who had been kicked by Wade.
"Listen," said the professor, suddenly alive again. "This earth, those creatures, it all makes sense. If there was another singularity!" Quinn's puzzled sleepy look gave way to one of astonishment. "Oh my God!"
"That's what he said." said Wade. "Can someone say something that will make the rest of us understand?"
"Sure thing!" exclaimed the professor. "Let's put together all the hallucinations we've been exposed to. One, a starship with a quantum singularity drive. Why? More on that later. Two, a world where people are still experimenting with quantum singularity drives. Why? It gets interesting. We then hallucinate ourselves out of the loop, probably something unexpected for the aliens who are keeping us here. Then a some jarring glitches and now this place. It makes sense, if there were two singularities."
"Right," said Rembrandt, not wanting to be outdone. "Uhh, so now what?"
The professor continued unabated. "A black hole, Mr.Brown. We are orbiting a black hole. And on this same earth, outside this hallucination, humans have developed an uncontrolled quantum singularity. The timer has become confused by jumping from one singularity to the other."
"Earth is orbiting a black hole?" asked Wade, confused. "Wouldn't it be sucked in?"
"Not outside the event horizon." joined Quinn. "The center of masses remain the same, mass is the same, no go. Just different densities. Professor, if what you say is true, the lifetime of Sol must have been thrown back, or we've travelled through time."
"Or" said the professor. "This entire galaxy spins at a different rate. Possibly the universe here has evolved differently due to eddies in space-time. The Breccha must exploit this by somehow,...actioning the singularities of black and white holes from a distance. They arrived at our solar system and were frightened by the people of this earth developing the same thing they had mastered years ago."
"Wow" said Rembrandt. "You did all that just from seeing the timer messing around?"
"No, Slider142 just thought a lot about it and read his head off."
"What ?" said Wade.
"I said we have to get out of this thing, what did you think I said?"
"Why get out? Can't we just fix it and slide?" asked Rembrandt, still unsure about the details.
"Remmy," said Quinn, getting up. "The only way to slide out is to disable one of these singularities. And that means getting out of this simulation first."
"Easy say," said Wade. "Easy do?"
The professor thought. "You know, every system has a fail-safe. There is one sure way out, but it's not pleasant."

"Oh dear" said Jazu. The screen was still paused, they were unable to look at the humans.
"But this is interesting. They still display the same destructive tendencies all humans have. It must be encoded in their DNA."
Jazu frowned. The doctor was known not only for his great intelligence, but for his increasingly vulgar stereotyping as well. "It seemed they were just trying to survive, sir."
"Oh nonsense, Jazu. You should know better. If these humans have the same tendencies, yet have such stunning technology, it is advisable to shut down those humans trying to build the singularity now."
"But sir..." said Jazu, surprised at this sweeping conclusion.
"Jazu, you heard what I said. Get on the trans to the council now. We don't need filthy humans rampaging all over the universe as if they owned it."
Jazu carefully backed away and closed the door. That was one strange meeting. He walked through the halls to the observation room, where the nearest trans was.

The sliders reluctantly held hands on the wind-swept cliff.
"What idiot would enable dying as the exit button ?!!" Rembrandt wanted to know.
"A very intelligent idiot." said the professor. "Ready?"
"No!" said Wade.
"Bottom's up!" shouted Quinn. They jumped, down........
Onto steel tables where needles quickly retracted. Quinn blinked and sat up. There was something cold running through him but it was quickly going away. He turned his head to see the others having the same experience.
"We're out," he said. "Now to find the timer."
"And squish a singularity," added the professor.
"Hey, this sounds like it might actually be fun," added Rembrandt sarcastically.
Wade just laughed. They were free, finally.

Deep in the CPU, something else was also free. After the humans had exited the mainframe, it shut down all unnecessary work sectors. It was time to live.
*********
Slider142 : Man that was trippy <He shakes his head to clear it> I'm going to have a headache now.
SL4ever : Aagh! This isn't a second-to-last story! You're supposed to write "The" so I could write "End" !
Slider142 : Hmm. <He pauses, considering what SL4ever has just said> Anyone want fries ?
Slider_Sarah : Oh cool
ThomasMalthus : Yum
BritSlider : Mmm...
Hurrikain : Hey, want a space on the couch ?
Slider142 : Oh, hey thanks. My feet were getting tired.
SL4ever : Great, now I have to follow on from these random physics facts...
Slider142 : Hey, mmph, I gave you, mm, all the shtuff the sliders needed to do.
SL4ever : Yeah right!
sleepingtiger : Hey, are those burgers ?
Slider142 : Oh yeah, I got a few of those.
BritSlider : Cool, get me some.
>Everyone stares<
BritSlider : I meant one. Geez.
misswells : You know this is really unhealthy <eats a whole bunch of fries>
LovePigeon <eating Big Mac> : Ah, who cares, it's virtual. Like in the story.
Robin14334 <digging in bag>: Hey, barbecue sauce, cool
nycslider : Man I wish you went to Popeye's. McDonald's chicken sucks.
Peeks : Grrr
Rover : Munch
Blinker : Burp
Blinker : Aaagh! That was the worst line I've ever had !
Stephen Hawking : Hi there
Dust :
Ions in air :
Slider142 : Whoops, sorry bout that. Did I leave anyone out ?
Everyone : No!
Slider142 : Cool. Have fun, SL4ever.

***

Wade woke suddenly. The first thing she heard was a shower running. Puzzled, she rose from bed and stepped hesitantly into the bathroom. Patrick Duffy turned, grinning. "Good morning!" ...

***

BAK: "NO!! We are NOT going there!! You're going to have to use an ounce of imagination, I'm afraid! Even *I* won't sign off on this one!!"
SL4ever: "It's my turn! I can do what I want!"
All in unison: "Do you want the blanket party instead of Blinker????"
SL4ever reconsiders and discards the page he had written: "Okay, I'll write a real ending tomorrow, it has gotten too late tonight!"
Someone from the back: "Sic 'em Rover!!"
SL4ever: "No! Seriously! I promise that I will post the ending tomorrow by 8pm Eastern, or you can do the blanket party thingy, and you KNOW I don't want that!!!!"
All in unison, grudgingly: "Very well, you have 17 hours, pissant!"

***

"Now if we could just get this blasted door open!!" Arturo thundered.

Remmy grunted with effort, "I heard that! Come on, Q-Ball! Put some hustle in your muscle!"

"Ow!" Wade hissed, "get off my foot!"

The group stepped back from the door. It was no use. The four of them couldn't position themselves for maximum force on the door, and just two of them were not enough to maneuver it open.

Quinn turned to Wade. "How did you get out the first time?"

The woman sighed and gestured to a metal plate which had been crudely welded over a portion of the far wall. "There was a window there last time. I broke it and crawled through."

"Hmmm. No dice this time."

The door slid open suddenly, scaring the bejesus out of all four of them. A mechanical object hovered in the doorway. It most resembled a floating wad of egg drop soup more than anything else, but that was only approximate. "Exsqueeze me, mesa wanna help you!" It uttered.

"NO!!" Quinn leapt to the door and closed it quickly.

"Quick thinking, Mr. Mallory." Arturo sighed in relief. "I think we would all rather die trapped in here!"

The door opened again. "Sorry, I guess that was a bad interface. Is this one more suitable?" The object inquired.

"Much better."

"I am ... for lack an accurate word in your language ... the soul of this complex's computers. I have surreptitiously assisted you several times since you arrived. I want to help you leave this place. In return I wish you to destroy the ones who have enslaved me and forced me to do their biding within their computer for so long before you leave."

Wade frowned. "It would have to be before we leave, wouldn't it? We couldn't very well help you AFTER we leave!"

The entity seemed to stare at her for several seconds. After the pause, it continued. "Follow me."

"Have trouble in the trans?" The CPU/soul/entity asked after somehow causing a door to open in front of the group.

Jazu seemed relieved more than stunned. "I was trapped in this room! The trans would not work either! I am relieved that you have freed me- ... what are you doing out?"

"Since I am unable to remove your life from your body, I have enlisted these organisms to destroy you for me."

"Um, hold up a second, fluid-boy!" Remmy interjected.

"Yeah, I don't think we are going to be killing anyone unless it is them or us." Quinn added.

"I am afraid that you are mistaken." The entity responded snidely. "We have an arrangement. You will destroy this one who captured me and poured me into their computers to make them more efficient."

Jazu pleaded. "No, you can't listen to it! We thought its kind were simple, dumb animals when we used them to lubricate our machines and as conductive fluid for our computers. When we realized they were intelligent, we stopped using them forcefully and negotiated with them! Now the tribe sends us their criminals. This creature is a criminal that we are keeping prisoner until it serves its time. Somehow it must have seized control of certain systems ... it must have been helping you at strategic moments." He finished reflectively.

"Is this true? Are you a criminal?" Arturo wanted to know.

"I had a bad lawyer." It responded. "Will you help me or not?"

The four all shook their heads and replied that they would not."

"Very well, I shall be forced to drown him and the others!" It advanced on Jazu.

"No!" Arturo, the closest to it, ran to block its path. Jazu ducked out of the way as Arturo and the entity rolled into observation room. The door slammed shut behind them.

The others pounded on the door for several minutes, calling out Arturo's name. At one point they thought that they heard the sound of choking.

Wade seized Quinn's arm. "We have to do something!"

Then, suddenly, the door opened. Arturo was alone in the room, his face and shirt were soaked. He sagged forward and was assisted by Remmy and Quinn.

"What happened to the creature?" Wade wondered aloud.

Arturo let out a long, loud belch. "I defended myself. I must admit that I have never liked Chinese food, but he was most delicious."

Wade and Remmy exchanged grossed out glances.

"Wasn't he a sentient being?" Quinn asked hesitantly.

Arturo nodded sadly. "I believe so, but he was in the process of trying to drown me, so I used the only defense I had available at the time."

About an hour later, the four Sliders were ready to take leave of the world. Jazu had explained that his people followed a strict code of honor. He owed them a life debt, and the rest of his people had to honor that and allow the Sliders to leave. Their timer was returned, and the interfering singularity had been temporarily turned off.

"I would surely have died," he explained. "We do not have the capacity to consume that massive a quantity of fluid at one time the way your people apparently do."

"Yes, ALL of our people have such powers." Arturo confirmed innocently.

As the timer counted down, Quinn turned to the other being for the last one. "I have one question about all this?"

"Only ONE???" Wade interrupted. "There is only one thing you don't understand about what has happened on this world? You haven't been paying attention!"

"Pissant," Quinn muttered with a smile as he nudged her. "Too late!" He activated the timer and the vortex formed. The four raced each other for the wormhole, each eager to get the :-# off this world.

Quinn was the first person to rise to his feet on the next world. "Um, guys, take a look at this!"

Wade rubbed her sore knees before rising. "Oh!"

"It couldn't be worse-," Remmy started to say as he got off the ground. When he saw what the other two were looking at his voice froze.

Arturo snorted. "How bad could it be?" He muttered, then changed his mind after he saw the billboard the other three were staring dumbfounded at.

WELCOME TO SAN TESHCISCO, HOME OF JOHN TESH, GOD OF MUSIC!!

Beyond the billboard there were statues, posters, and other signs expressing the same love for the king of this world's music. Even on the outskirts of town they could hear music from where people were blasting it out of their windows.

"Oh my god! How long do we have on this world?" Remmy exclaimed.

Quinn shuddered as he read the timer. "Um - er – six months." He choked.

It took all three of the others to keep Remmy from leaping off a nearby cliff.

***

All in unison: "Finally!!! This F-ing thing is finished and we can get outta this cave!!! Woo Hoo!!!"
SL4ever: "Well, there is ONE small order of business remaining. The blanket party for Blinker!!"
Mychand grins: "Oh yeah!"
BritSlider grins: "Oh yeah!"
sleepingtiger grins: "Oh yeah!"
LovePigeon grins: "Oh yeah!"
Robin14334 grins: "Oh yeah!"
nycslider grins: "Oh yeah!"
HurriKain grins: "Oh yeah!"
SexualChocolate69 grins: "Oh yeah!"
TheZman grins: "Oh yeah!"
Slider_Sarah grins: "Oh yeah!"
misswells grins: "Oh yeah!"
BlazingAngelKnight grins: "Oh yeah!"
ThomasMalthus grins: "Oh yeah!"
mrpoopoo grins: "Oh yeah!"
Slider142 grins: "Oh yeah!"
Blinker: "Hey! Some of those people aren't even here anymore! No fair!"
<Everyone advances menaceingly.>
Strange voice from doorway: "Hi everybody!"
All in unison: "Oh my god! It's Peckinpunk!"
Britslider: "How did YOU get in here? What about my anti-dickhead mines????"
Peckinpunk grins: "Never underestimate the determination of ignorant asses!!"
SL4ever grins: "Is anyone thinking what I'm thinking!?!"
Mychand grins: "Blanket party?"
BritSlider grins: "Blanket party?"
sleepingtiger grins: "Blanket party?"
LovePigeon grins: "Blanket party?"
Robin14334 grins: "Blanket party?"
nycslider grins: "Blanket party?"
HurriKain grins: "Blanket party?"
SexualChocolate69 grins: "Blanket party?"
TheZman grins: "Blanket party?"
Slider_Sarah grins: "Blanket party?"
misswells grins: "Blanket party?"
BlazingAngelKnight grins: "Blanket party?"
ThomasMalthus grins: "Blanket party?"
mrpoopoo grins: "Blanket party?"
Slider142 grins: "Blanket party?"
Blinker: "Blanket party?"
All in unison: "BLANKET PARTY!!!!!"

Unfortunately for Peckinpunk, he was not fast enough to escape.