Buffy finds Spike in the makeup room.

Buffy
Spike, go get that Hunter guy, Angel's still hurt.

Spike
Sure.

Spike pulls out his cell phone.

Spike
Yeah D, this is Spike, we need you to return as a guest host... yeah, the poof is still hurt.

A few minutes later D walks in.

Buffy
How did you get here so fast?

D
A big plot hole, kind of like where the roaches came from last week.

Buffy
Oh... darn, we're on. Quick, get on stage.

Hunter and Spike take their seats.

Cameraman
5... 4... 3... 2...

Spike
Welcome to Dead with Spike and Angel. Angel is still sick so HunterD here is our guest host.

D
Hello everyone, today we actually have guests from an area I frequent, the Sliders BBoards.

Spike
Yeah, our guests are Informant, Robzilla, and Executive.

D
For those of you too stupid to figure out which two of those are gonna die, please put on a red bandanna and walk through a Blood area in LA.

Spike
You know, I was thinking, part of the fun with me and Angel is he actually tries to stop me from killing people. Think with you rooting for me it's a little anti-climactic?

D
Nah, most people probably just tune in to see how they die.

Spike
Good point. Onto our first guest of the evening: someone who probably thinks this show is too violent, Informant.

Info walks out in odd clothing.

Info
Hi everyone, it's nice to be here.

Spike
Let's face facts here Info, the only reason you're pleased to be here is cause you know you're the only guest who's gonna get out alive.

Info
Well, yeah. But why am I in this outfit?

Spike
Well, we'll get to that later. As host it's my job to at least make your stay here an unpleasant one. So, how do you feel about that girl named Tara?

As Info goes off into one of his long anti-lesbian Willow rants Spike just smiles and makes a motion. Suddenly the monitor in front of Info shows a picture of Tara and Willow kissing. Info promptly loses his lunch on the set.

Spike
EWWWW!

D
What were you expecting?!

Spike
I was expecting him to be grossed out and run off stage, or to try and hurt me, or have a heart attack... not for him to vomit.

D
Yeah, so was I actually.

Spike
Well anyone who'd vote for an idiot like Bush should have a stronger stomach than that. And just for messing up my set, I have another surprise. Here is ex-presidential candidate, JOHN McCAIN!

McCain walks out and a look of rage enters his eyes as he sees Info.

Info then realizes he is dressed as a Vietnamese soldier and high-tails it as McCain goes into a flashback and starts chasing him.

D
Bet poor Info thought he was gonna get off as easy as Cleavant did.

Spike
Yeah, just cause we don't kill ya don't mean you get off easy. Well, let's take a commercial as SOMEONE cleans up this mess Info left us.

(Fade to commercial)

Buffy
Ewwwwww! How could one still, and an obviously faked one, get him so upset?!

D
I don't get it either. So, what do you think McCain will do to him?

Spike
Info's younger and can outrun him... but it should still scare the crap out of him. (Looks down at the still-being-cleaned vomit) Perhaps literally.

D
Well, Spike, what say we go plan for Robzilla's destruction?

Spike
Sounds like fun to me.

The two return minutes later, having formed a plan and gotten Spike's "boys" to start work.

Cameraman
5... 4... 3... 2...

Spike
Welcome back to Dead with Spike and Angel; Angel is sick so filling in is HunterD here.

D
Hi. In case you missed our first segment, Info promptly lost his lunch all over our set, and then McCain came out and chased him away.

Spike
Which means we still have two guests to kill or seriously maim. So here is the first of the unlucky two, Robzilla.

Robzilla walks out in some really stupid outfit like his hero, Dennis Rodman would wear.

Robzilla
What up?

Spike (odd look on face)
What up?...the area above your head. Down is below you, left is to your left, and I'm pretty sure that right is to your right.

Robzilla
Hehe, funny man.

D
So Robzilla, any nicknames?

Robzilla
They call me the Worm.

Spike
Inchworm or tapeworm?

Robzilla (ignoring Spike but obviously upset)
Anyway, I want to know why everyone wants to pick on Charlie O'Connell.

Spike and D (in unison)
Cause he's a talentless wanker.

Robzilla
HE IS NOT TALENTLESS, HE'S CUTE!

Spike and D look oddly at Robzilla.

Robzilla
I mean... my sister thinks he's cute. Yeah, that's the ticket, my sister thinks he's cute.

Spike
Suuuure, and I guess she's also the reason I heard Barbra Streisand blasting from your car radio?

D
And the reason there's a picture of Ricky Martin in your wallet?

Robzilla
How'd you know I had a picture of cute....uhhh, I mean talented Ricky in my wallet?

D
I didn't, I just guessed!

Robzilla
Blow me, bi.

Spike
Blow you? My, we're just lining the subtext up tonight aren't we?

Rodzilla
Uh... I didn't mean it like that.

Spike
Look, let's face facts. Charlie's a wooden actor, and you get wood when you see him. Speaking of wood...

Suddenly a giant wooden board falls and hits Robzilla on the head, killing him.

Spike
That was fun... and disturbing.

D
Wonder how many times Info vomited during that set?

Spike
Probably about the same number of times as the commercials we're about to run.

D
Nice segue.

(Fade to commercial)

Some of the stagehands come on and drag off Robzilla's body.

Buffy
I thought you were against the whole "You're gay" style of flaming.

D
I am, however there is a distinct difference between the obvious "you're gay" post and subtext hinting towards it.

Spike
He's right.

Spike and Hunter take back their seats.

Cameraman
5... 4... 3... 2...

Spike
Welcome back to Dead with Spike and Angel. Angel's hurt, D's cohosting.

D
If you missed our last segment, you missed the death of someone desperately in need of mental help, but don't worry another one is coming up shortly.

Spike
Welcome someone with a name to make them sound authoritative but with no real power whatsoever: Executive!

Exec walks out.

Spike
So, Exec, Hunter's told me a lot about you. You seem like an Anarchist like me.

Exec
I'm not an Anarchist. By the way, the food backstage was really hot. Can I have some water?

Spike
Sure. Hey, Dante, get him some water.

Dante runs off and retrns quickly with a glass of water, it shimmers slightly but Exec doesn't notice and gulps it down.

Spike
So, mind telling me how you rationalize S4 being better than S5 again?

Exec
The scripts, acting and production were all better.

(Both D and Spike nearly fall off their chairs at that statement)

Exec
Of course, it hardly matters, since Sliders is dead.

Spike
Didn't you say it was dead back after Season 3?

Exec
I said dead on NETWORK TV.

Spike
So you expressly said it would come back on cable?

Exec
Well, no.

Spike
So when you wrote it you meant totally dead, right?

Exec
Yeah.

D
You say stuff just to cause trouble, don't you?

Exec
Yes, I do. It's fun!

Exec grabs his mouth as a look of shock sets on his face.

Spike
You want to ruin any hope of those who still like Sliders, don't you?

Exec
My mission in life.

Once again Exec looks shocked; then suddenly he grabs his head, screams in pain, and dies.

Spike
I said to program the nanotechs to make him tell the truth and not die for ten minutes... ten whole minutes!

D
Well, it's hard to find good help these days. Too bad, I wanted him to admit to being the guy who gave Peckinpah script ideas too.

Spike
Well, at least the nanotech death was ironic.

D
Yeah, well, out of time.

Spike
See you later folks.

(Fade to commercials)

Spike
That was fun; who knew nanotech death would be so fun to watch?

D
Well, he missed the plot point, he dies by the plot point. Got to go, see ya.

Spike
Bye.